Mosquitoe Movies
The summer is a time for indie-sector "mosquito" movies. I'm speaking of movies that you need and want to see, but there's always something else you have to do first and then it's suddenly later than you thought it was. But knowing these little films are being screened and the awful guilt you always feel when you realize you could have gone to see this one or that one the night before except you were struggling to finish a piece and you looked up and it was 8:35 pm....it's very tough. All to explain it's analagous on some level to being in a swampy area and surrounded by mosquitoes. That's not to say that the films themselves are mosquitoes -- far from it -- but the missed-screening guilt that's always swirling around your head is, on some level, mosquito-like. Thank God for DVD screeners and the willingness of vigilant publciists to send them over by messenger or mail. I've managed to see 13 Tzameti, Edmond, The Groomsmen, Mini's First Time The Oh in Ohio and Time to Leave this way. And I've actually gone to theatre screenings of Brothers fo the Head in a screening room (conjoined male twins with their arms wrapped around each other's shoulders throughout the whole film...cool) as well as I Like Killing Flies (ThinkFilm, 8.28), a spunky little Sundance doc about a New York restauratuer that I first saw in '04, I think.
Posted by Jeffrey Wells on July 19, 2006 at 2:48 PM
comment #1
Andrew says ...
Did you like any of those, Jeff? I saw Mini's First Time and thought it was a decent first film for its writer-director and not much more. And I've heard mixed things regarding the Groomsmen. A couple of my friends really were surprised by how much they loved it.
Posted by Andrew at July 19, 2006 3:34 PM
comment #2
Chris No says ...
The only filmmaker more worthless than Kevin Smith is Ed Burns.
Eric Schaeffer is worse than both of them.
I can't wait until the Peak Oil Catastrophe of 2014 renders American Industrial Civilization meaningless and puts an end to the careers of all the no-talent con artists from Long Island and Jersey.
There will be a food shortage.
People will take up arms.
First I'm going to eat Kevin Smith.
Then I'm going to feed Ed Burns to my dog.
I'll keep Eric Schaeffer alive just so I can hear his stories about what it's like to have sex with Elle Macpherson.
Stories like this are essential to the rebuilding of humankind.
Shame on anyone for giving their money to Ed Burns.
Kevin Smith getting into a fight with Joel Siegel about Joel's behavior is like two combs fighting over the Falkland Islands.
Or something like that.
Posted by Chris No at July 19, 2006 3:47 PM
comment #3
Adam says ...
What did you think of The Oh in Ohio?
Posted by Adam at July 19, 2006 3:55 PM
comment #4
Dixon Steele says ...
Personally, I didn't care for MINI or OH.
Chris No, did you go off your medication again?
Posted by Dixon Steele at July 19, 2006 4:04 PM
comment #5
Chris No says ...
That's funny you should say that Dixon.
Real funny.
I mean really funny.
You're very quick.
Very witty.
You remind me of Julian Sands in Oxford Blues.
Rob Lowe had great haircut in that movie.
Remember that scene from Lost Boys where Corey Haim is sitting on his bed and you see that he has a poster of Rob Lowe on his closet door?
I had one of those posters too.
I just loved that hair of his.
And I saw Mini's First Time.
That Nikki Reed.
Hubba-hubba.
If I was James Woods I would be all over that sweet stuff.
But seriously.
Buy gold.
That's what they told me to do in this month's Harper's Magazine.
It's all coming to an end.
Can't you feel it?
The rest of the world is going through one of it's periodic apocalypses and nothing is happening here.
Everything is too calm.
People are singing on the television.
A-Rod is sunbathing.
I'm unemployed.
But thank God for Ed Burns.
Now I wish that I had Ed Burns' hair.
Cameron Diaz.
Heather Graham.
Christy Turlington.
What do they call guys like this?
Oh yeah.
Cocksman.
What a cocksman.
Dixon Steele would be a great porn name for Ed Burns if he ever decides to jump into the flesh game.
But why would he?
Waking up on a Sunday and looking over at his naked Christy Turlington and asking her if she wants to go to Grange Hall for some flapjacks.
Ed Burns likes the classics.
Godfather.
Rocky.
Network.
You know.
The Classics.
You seem like the type of guy who would like the classics too, Dixon Steele.
What a great name.
The more I think about it the more your name sounds like the name of classic rock radio disc jockey.
But I'm not on any medication.
Unless you count two double espressos as medication.
Sorry.
I mean, two double EX-pressos.
Mike Watt needs to be on meds.
He seems upset.
Can't get over that D. Boon.
But who needs The Minutemen when you have Kevin Smith and Ed Burns to give us what we need.
A healthy dose of middle-class ennui.
Just what the world needs.
A couple of millionaires waxing sentimental about their place in the world.
They're rich.
They don't have to work.
They don't have AIDS.
All they have are some good friends and troubled relationships.
But everything is going to be okay.
That's what Ed Burns and Kevin Smith told me.
That everything is not as bad as we think it is.
I can see why they would want to share that piece of wisdom with the world and why they would want to spend a few million dollars trying to say it.
Time for another cup Dixon Steele.
Growl.
Posted by Chris No at July 19, 2006 4:30 PM
comment #6
Anonymous says ...
Chris No's rant would make an awesome Kevin Smith movie! Excellent
Posted by Anonymous at July 19, 2006 4:33 PM
comment #7
julius says ...
I saw The Groomsmen last month and was stunned by how much I enjoyed it. Jay Mohr (who I've never been crazy about) steals the movie in a Vince Vaughn Swingers kind of way and Brittany Murphy and Matthew Lillard act like recognizable human beings for once. I had pretty much written Ed Burns off after about 6 consecutive bad movies in a row but now I'm actually looking forward to his next pic.
Posted by julius at July 19, 2006 4:50 PM
comment #8
Peter Martin says ...
I'm a bit confused. First, you complain that you can't get invites to movies you want to see. In the next moment, you complain that you can't see all the movies to which you're invited. I know it's a slow news day, but c'mon...
Posted by Peter Martin at July 20, 2006 9:13 AM