Older Women
Here's an interesting N.Y. Times piece, written by Elizabeth Hayt, that ran a couple of days ago about sex and seasoned women in movies and books. The primary focus is Laurent Cantet's Heading South (Shadow Distribution) and its story of older single women who enjoy sexual vacations with poor younger men in in Haiti in the 1970s. An interesting view on middle-aged female eroticism, but how real is it?
I saw Heading South (or Vers lr Sud) in Toronto last year, and found it above- average, authentically flavored, moderately erotic. It costars Charlotte Rampling, the reigning poster queen for older-woman sexuality (with maybe Isabelle Huppert ranking second), and Karen Young, who played that diligent, somewhat clueless FBI agent on
Hayt's article also mentions a book called "A Round-Heeled Woman: My Late-Life Adventures in Sex and Romance" by Jane Juska, which is about a woman in her mid 60s who decides she wants to have good sex with a good guy and how she tries to find that guy through singles ads.
All well and good, but the truth is most women of a certain age are extremely gun-shy about intimate relationships, and that even with strong mutual attracton and good vibes all around it takes many, many weeks (and sometimes a few months) to get to a place of receptivity. Frankly? It's almost more appealing to eat out alone and get some reading done and devote more time to exercise, etc.
Seasoned 40ish women are the greatest, but even after they give you the green- light look (which there's never any mistaking) you need the spiritual serenity of Sri Krishna and the patience of Job to get going with them. They've been through lots of bad relationships in their youth and they don't want to get hurt, and this, of course, is very human and understandable. Everyone becomes a piece of work after 40, I guess.
They say that many things in life get easier (or at least are easier to understand) as you get older, but running around isn't one of them.
Posted by Jeffrey Wells on July 19, 2006 at 3:15 PM
comment #1
nola says ...
I saw that article and I was shocked to read Charlotte Rampling is 60! She looks great. Good thing she's not American, she would never find work.
Okay what do you mean it takes a while to get going with 40ish woman? Most of my friends are usually asked out by younger men because many men our age, in this town, want to date women much younger. When we do finally hook up with a 40 something man guess what, it's the guy who can't keep up (unless he pops a viagra). Maybe they like dating younger women becuase the women have no idea the sex is not that good. I would think a 30 something man would have even less patience to wait for the 40ish woman to warm up, so not sure about your theory.
I think most American women of a certain age are gun shy because we live in a sexually repressed culture that is obsessed with 25 year old girls who look like teenage boys. Whenever I see a foreign flick with a woman over 35 it's almost jarring becuase they don't look plastic.
Posted by nola at July 19, 2006 4:38 PM
comment #2
Colin says ...
A little typo, Jeff -- you have the title down as "Going South" the second time you reference it.
Posted by Colin at July 19, 2006 5:14 PM
comment #3
Dixon Steele says ...
Think that may be a freudian slip, Colin
Posted by Dixon Steele at July 19, 2006 6:10 PM
comment #4
OhPercy says ...
"All well and good, but the truth is most women of a certain age are extremely gun-shy about intimate relationships, and that even with strong mutual attracton and good vibes all around it takes many, many weeks (and sometimes a few months) to get to a place of receptivity......"
What are you basing this on? Talk about conjecture. Geeez. So I assume that it wasn't a scientific poll you conducted. Sorry to hear your love life isn't the stuff of dreams.
Posted by OhPercy at July 19, 2006 6:52 PM
comment #5
Colin says ...
"Think that may be a freudian slip, Colin."
Dixon, yeah, the "Going South" probably was just a Freudian slit, uh, I mean slip.
Posted by Colin at July 19, 2006 8:31 PM
comment #6
Patrick says ...
If the guys in Haiti look anything like the one
on that poster, SIGN ME UP!!! WOW!!
Posted by Patrick at July 20, 2006 5:30 AM
comment #7
richard crawford says ...
this is a very good movie.
Posted by richard crawford at July 20, 2006 7:34 AM
comment #8
Michael Adams says ...
Can't wait for publication of Wells' Cynical Old Fart's Guide to Women
Posted by Michael Adams at July 20, 2006 8:40 AM
comment #9
Rich S. says ...
As long as you're not losing your hair, you're golden.
Posted by Rich S. at July 20, 2006 8:58 AM
comment #10
kate says ...
this movie sucked. i am a twenty-something woman, and i saw it in a theater packed with people in their middle ages. i almost walked out of theater in the middle of it, but i stayed, suffering as one hackneyed scene of older women's "sexuality" followed another. at the end as i walked out with (my middle-aged friend i saw it with) and we were talking about how ghastly it was, everyone was nodding in agreement or voicing similar opinions. (i saw this at the angelika in nyc.)
how any movie that actually uses a "confessional" trope can be considered "good" or "well-made" is beyond me. i knew i was in for a bad time as soon as one of the female characters said she "was basking in the sun." plot points happen for no reason, no political context is given for any of the action outside of the resort... instead we are treated to the moral bankrupcy of these middle-aged ice queens and are expected to laud it as some kind of pervasive truth or mirror of older women's sexuality.
this movie is glib, poorly written, overrated, and one of the worst i have seen in a long time.
Posted by kate at July 20, 2006 9:52 AM
comment #11
Anonymous says ...
Wells to Michael Adams: "Cynical old fart", eh? When you get to the stage in life when you start chasing hot 40ish babes around, get back to me. Let's see what you have to say then."
Posted by Anonymous at July 20, 2006 3:52 PM