"Snakes" poster

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I called my New Line pallies and apparently this is the approved wide-release poster for Snakes on a Plane (as opposed to the teaser poster). I'm sorry, but it doesn't make it. It's not dry or hip enough. In fact, it seems to be trying to make the movie look un-hip by appealing to the Rhodes scholars who need to be told there's a satirical element...those who haven't visited Snakes on a Blog or listened to any of the theme songs or watched any of the video spots.

And wipe that steely smile off Samuel L. Jackson's face ...please. And dump that "Sit back...relax...enjoy the fright" slogan. A poster that winks this broadly is totally the wrong way to go.

The only way to sell this movie is as a straight thriller. If you're making a thriller with yucks and smirks, fine...but never ever say to an audience that this is what you're doing. Conceal your motive and your agenda at all times. Let the audience discover it (and they'll love you for it). If there's something to laugh or chuckle or smirk at, they'll decide.

Unless it's already been mass-produced and mailed to theatres, the fact that this poster sucks isn't the end of the world. New Line marketers just need to suck it in and admit fault and send the art guys back to the drawing board. Wait a minute...a guy named Colin just wrote in and said he saw this poster hanging in a theatre near Union Square.

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Posted by Jeffrey Wells on July 5, 2006 at 1:01 PM

comment #1

Colin says ...

I saw this poster at the Regal Union Square in Manhattan yesterday, so I'm guessing it's a done deal.

Posted by Colin at July 5, 2006 1:30 PM

comment #2

Alan says ...

I think it's half an image. The other half is snakes, snakes, snakes.

Posted by Alan at July 5, 2006 1:35 PM

comment #3

Rich says ...

Jeff pegged this one about a month ago. New Line should have moved the release date up while the buzz was white-hot. Now, with the one-sheet and the final trailer, it's looking like what it is: a goofy exploitation flick with snakes on a plane. Nothing really more or less. The title is inspired, but there doesn't seem to be anything else to support the almost mythic aura this film has developed.

And right on the nose about the Samuel L. smile. Once you've smirked at the audience in a satire, game over.

Posted by Rich at July 5, 2006 1:35 PM

comment #4

delbomber says ...

Ah, a return to normalcy...here's the critical and charming Jeff we all know and love.

'Snakes' is done. What would be considered a disappointment considering all the early hype? Anything less than 100? I can't see this making 100 mil at this point, but what do I know...

Posted by delbomber at July 5, 2006 1:55 PM

comment #5

lesterg says ...

Hollywood will never be able to keep pace with white hot internet trends. SOAP is completely over at this point. Anyone still talking about it is mentally living back in March or April (and hopefully enjoying jokes about Suri Cruise and Sean Preston's driving abilities).

Posted by lesterg at July 5, 2006 2:08 PM

comment #6

Dave Poland says ...

TERRIBLE poster. Some of the worst photoshop work in a long time. None of the body parts match each other.

New Line should be embarassed by this work. Fire that damn intern!

Posted by Dave Poland at July 5, 2006 2:23 PM

comment #7

Mark says ...

Huh? i understand that you can't just have 90 minutes of wink wink, but re: the marketing, the conceit was revealed long before this picture of Samuel grinning. it was, hello, revealed with the shooting title of the film, which is the only reason for the buzz.

Posted by Mark at July 5, 2006 2:33 PM

comment #8

Gabriel says ...

I hope Alan's right and there's another poster that's all snakes. My first thought upon seeing this at a theater in Burbank this weekend was, "where are the goddamn snakes?"

Posted by Gabriel at July 5, 2006 3:01 PM

comment #9

Alan Green says ...

love the poster. very pulp. very hokey snakesploitation. what do you guys want? the movie is titled "snakes on a plane" and you're all 'hey, this poster is dumb'. lol. you guys are the ones that are dumb. lol

movie will make a bajillion dollars, poster will stay dumb, you guys will looker dumber.

Posted by Alan Green at July 5, 2006 4:12 PM

comment #10

J.C. says ...

The poster works for me. And we have to remember the mass audience generally doesn't live online like most of the people who visit HE. Most people won't know about this movie until they see a trailer in the theatre or catch something on "Entertainment Tonight" or BET closer to the release date. This poster conveys the idea that it's a jokey-horror film.

Before "X-Men" last month, my packed audience here in Los Angeles whooped and applauded for the "SoaP" trailer. So I wouldn't say it's over just yet.

Posted by J.C. at July 5, 2006 4:30 PM

comment #11

delbomber says ...

What did 'Anaconda' make? The one with Jen Lopez and Jon Voigt at the peak of his whoredom...

Holy shit, that piece of shit made $65 million!?...and the only line was "Snakes don't eat people". Wow...

Ok, maybe I'm wrong about 'Snakes...', it still has a chance, esp. once the real ad campaign kicks in.

Then again, Jackson's only true starring vehicle 'Shaft' grossed just 70, and that promoted up the ying-yang. 100 might be a stretch.

Lol, glad I set that straight...

Posted by delbomber at July 5, 2006 5:18 PM

comment #12

mike says ...

What they should have done is rip off their Freddy vs. Jason one sheet, and have Sam Jackson's face on one side, angrily staring down... a snake.

Or: same idea, only on one side the snake, and the other, the plane.

Alas, my genius goes forgotten...

Posted by mike at July 5, 2006 5:51 PM

comment #13

Gabriel says ...

lol Alan Green. lol. All we want is some motherfuckin' snakes on the motherfuckin' poster. lol. The title/script/trailer have lots of snakes, so why not the one-sheet? lol. lol. lol.

Posted by Gabriel at July 5, 2006 6:09 PM

comment #14

Alan Green says ...

the imagined snake is far scarier than one that you can see. sheesh

Posted by Alan Green at July 5, 2006 7:32 PM

comment #15

Telemachos says ...

That's one cluttered-up poster. Mike's idea sounds hilariously awesome.

Posted by Telemachos at July 5, 2006 7:35 PM

comment #16

Gabriel says ...

Yes, but in order to snakesploitate, you need to have some snakes. Just sayin'.

Posted by Gabriel at July 5, 2006 9:17 PM

comment #17

Nick says ...

Its ass, pure and simple. They had plenty of buzz in April and should've had a fan art contest, would've been cheaper and better than paying someone to do this.

Posted by Nick at July 5, 2006 9:35 PM

comment #18

BL says ...

The Poster:

Right idea - bad execution

IMHO of course.

Posted by BL at July 6, 2006 12:06 AM

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comment #20

gh says ...

If this is as good as Anaconda it will have a permanent place in my video library... and my heart.

That poster though... kinda sucks. Did they really have to put the ENTIRE cast on it. Shoulda have taken a page from 70's exploitation movie posters and had Sam Jackson and the hot stewardess surrounded by action posed snakes.

Posted by gh at July 6, 2006 12:50 AM

comment #21

bachelorcool says ...

Maybe the snakes' agent is still negotiating their deal?

Posted by bachelorcool at July 6, 2006 1:49 AM

comment #22

gh says ...

The more I look at that the more I think there has gotta be a second poster to go on the left. Otherwise that is a poster for "People On A Plane".

Posted by gh at July 6, 2006 4:23 AM

comment #23

Fielding says ...

That's one ugly poster...horrible colour, awkward figures, bad composition. Bleah. But I think there is a second one, but to the right of this one.

Posted by Fielding at July 6, 2006 7:24 AM

comment #24

Fielding says ...

That's one ugly poster...horrible colour, awkward figures, bad composition. Bleah. I too think there is a second one, but to the right of this one.

Posted by Fielding at July 6, 2006 7:25 AM

comment #25

Rich says ...

Another great idea for the poster would be to rip off an old Irwin Allen film. Put the cast's heads around the perimeter with a big nasty snake wrapped around a plane in flames. Now THAT'S exploitation!

Posted by Rich at July 6, 2006 7:52 AM

comment #26

christian says ...

poster marketing is a dead art in hollywood these days. occasionally somebody will nail it (though i can't remember when. the problem is thanks to the ADD generation and their perceived mad skills in needing to take in two dozen bits of visual info at once, lest they feel like they're not on myspace.

and besides the title, this movie has yawn written all over it. 100 mill? yeah, and Miami Vice is going to be an artistic summation of Michael Mann's interest in glossy angst.

Posted by christian at July 6, 2006 8:35 AM

comment #27

delbomber says ...

They don't emphasize the ludicrousness of the premise...Wells nailed it. Terrible poster...someone who's not connected should see the poster and say "that looks so ridiculous I HAVE to see it"...

Posted by delbomber at July 6, 2006 9:27 AM

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