A Dog's Life

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If I come back as a dog, I'd wouldn't want to live in Asia because there'd be a fair chance I'd be killed and chopped up and grilled and served as somebody's meal. I'd want to be a rich American dog living in Beverly Hills. Point of fact, I'd like to live with Candice Bergen and have the kind of life that this basset hound is living. Except I'd want be be a golden retriever. Seriously, read this story and who's got it better -- this dog or your average citizen in southern Lebanon?

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Posted by Jeffrey Wells on August 3, 2006 at 3:16 PM

comment #1

BL says ...

Apparently her father treated his dummy like a human being - so what do you expect?

Posted by BL at August 3, 2006 3:35 PM

comment #2

L.B. says ...

To be fair, there's a good chance that 98% of American dogs have a better life these days than your average citizen in southern Lebanon.

Posted by L.B. at August 3, 2006 4:00 PM

comment #3

Allen B says ...

Mine sure does.

Posted by Allen B at August 3, 2006 4:09 PM

comment #4

jjs says ...

Dickles, heh heh, add an s, heh heh.

Posted by jjs at August 3, 2006 4:12 PM

comment #5

Mortimer Snerd says ...

Oddly enough, my dog just installed an Iranian rocket-launcher in our basement.

Posted by Mortimer Snerd at August 3, 2006 4:14 PM

comment #6

Justin says ...

Well, if you were a dog in China, the next time a Chinaman (not the preferred nomenclature, but the Chinaman is not the issue here) dies of rabies, you would be beaten to death in the streets in front of your owner. You and 50,000 other dogs.

Posted by Justin at August 3, 2006 5:02 PM

comment #7

Anonymous says ...

http://abcnews.go.com/International/wireStory?id=2259822

Posted by Anonymous at August 3, 2006 5:03 PM

comment #8

Daniel Zelter says ...

Jeff, weren't you just trashing Mel about stereotyping?

Posted by Daniel Zelter at August 3, 2006 5:56 PM

comment #9

NYCBusybody says ...

I used to actually spend a lot of time in Lebanon, Illinois. It's a nice, unique little antiques town, and Charles Dickens once stopped there on his way through the U.S. All in all, a delightful little place, and the people of the southern end of the city are doing quite well, thank you.

Posted by NYCBusybody at August 3, 2006 6:36 PM

comment #10

Anonymous says ...

If I come back in the next life, I want to come back as an elitist, racist, ignorant piece of shit like Jeffrey Welles, but only in Hollywood, because in Asia, they'd beat the shit out and eat him alive for something than that.

Posted by Anonymous at August 3, 2006 7:34 PM

comment #11

The Real Inspector says ...

Basset hounds are responsible for all the wars in the world.

Posted by The Real Inspector at August 3, 2006 11:08 PM

comment #12

c fontana says ...

I'm glad to see the Lohan story taken down...but without reading this link, I'd imagine it's more gossipy fluff...come on Jeff, I know you like to throw us HE fans a humorous bone now and again, but can't you keep this shit distinct from your editorials? You might just pop back up into Polksi's list of serious bloggers.

Posted by c fontana at August 4, 2006 7:59 AM

comment #13

mizerock says ...

You don't need to go to Lebanon to find a human with a worse life than a pampered dog. Last week I heard that 60% of the residents of LA county don't have air conditioning. I wonder how many dogs died there, along with 141 people?

Posted by mizerock at August 4, 2006 1:02 PM

comment #14