comment #1

Jesse says ...

This was originally posted by Harry Shearer at the Huffington Post

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/harry-shearer/a-dear-ari-letter_b_26512.html

comment #2

Jesse says ...

Harry Shearer:
My friend Gavin de Becker has written an open letter to Ari Emanuel which appears in today's (Friday's) Hollywood Reporter. Since only people with absolutely nothing else to do read that publication, I'm reprinting the letter here. The views expressed are Gavin's own, I still have to work in this business. Much love.

Dear Ari:

My comments here are not personal; I don't know you, and Mel Gibson is not a client.
Rather, I'm writing about ideas. I read your letter urging the industry to take action "by
professionally shunning Mel Gibson and refusing to work with him." I expect you will one
day forgive him - at that moment, you'll see firsthand that words spoken in the heat of one
situation don't always retain their meaning over time.

About his alleged anti-Semitism, you wrote, "Now we know the truth."

I haven't found a lot of truth in drunken tirades. A drunken spouse spits out the words, "I
never loved you anyway!" Is that truth? A drunken idiot boasts that he can "take on the
whole goddamn bunch of you, you bastards, come on, I'll kick your asses." Is that truth?

Mel also reportedly said, "I'll f*ck you" to the Sheriff's deputy and that he'd spend all his
money to get even with the deputy, but you probably don't believe he'll retain those ideas over
time. You see, we pick and choose which words to invest with credibility. We project motives
onto people based upon what their words mean to us, because it's very difficult to reliably
know what their words meant to them at the moment they were spoken (particularly when
they're out of their minds drunk). And we've all learned that words don't reliably represent
beliefs. Some people have probably learned that on phone calls with agents, Ari ("You should
be getting double what your agents have been getting you; you're my most important client;
I'd never suggest anyone else for that part!").

After thirty years of predicting intent through assessing words and context, I can tell you if
we start taking the things people say when very drunk or very high or very angry as their
enduring truth, we're all going to have to reassess many relationships. Not long ago, one of
my sons told me, "I hate you, Man!" I decided he didn't mean it. Under the Ari-rule, my
forgiveness came too easy.

I recognize there is also some history in this situation. People had already speculated on
Mel's views about Jews, so words he might choose could be clues to those views - as we've
seen on the news. (Do the rhymes represent flippancy about anti-Semitism? No, but it's hard
to tell what's in someone's heart, isn't it?) If one honors the larger context of Mel's words
playing into a preconception some people had, then one must also honor the smaller context:
This was crap he said while very drunk, while being arrested, while scared, upset, out of his
mind. Is anybody really able to enter that mind and identify "the truth" within all the raw
humanness?

You wrote that "alcoholism does not excuse anti-Semitism," which is obvious. Also true
is that alcoholism cannot be used to prove anti-Semitism. You describe your position
as "standing up against bigotry." I suggest that your position is bigotry, bigotry about
alcoholism. And more than that, it's bigotry about humanness itself, for every one of us has
said terrible things.

I've heard (sober) agents say things so hateful and unkind that even Deputy Mee wouldn't
jot them down. Speaking of stenography during drunk driving arrests, that's happened all
of one time in the history of the planet earth, because cops don't give much credence to the
crap drunk people say. Even the man who was most abused, Deputy Mee himself, even he
says, "That stuff is booze talking." And he says, "I don't want to ruin his career," while you
advocate ending Mel's career outright. A list of people who can't work in this town based on
what someone assumes they believe - didn't Hollywood already suffer that experience?

Your standard would be very tough to apply fairly. If there were suddenly a public transcript
of all the thoughts that ran through our heads on our worst days, we'd have trouble finding
anyone we'd want to work with - including ourselves.

You refer to "tragically inflammatory statements" - as if Mel had said this stuff while
addressing the U.N. You take words that were sputtered in the back of a police car and link
them to "escalating tensions in the world." That's inflammatory. And the phrases in your
letter are the ones long used to inflame: "standing up against; times in history; how much is at
stake; cannot stand idly by."

There is anti-Semitic violence in the world - and there is Mel Gibson. They are two very
different things.

For God's sake, Ari, Mel hasn't said, "Forget about it!" He's owned what he did, called it
reprehensible, apologized, said he wants to understand the dark places those words came
from, has gone into rehab, and hit his saddest rock-bottom - right in front of the whole world.
He's hardly getting away with anything.

When you do forgive Mel, you'll be in the good company of many Jewish leaders, and if
you wonder why so many have been willing to forgive him, consider that Jews, having been
profoundly victimized by intolerance, know the value of tolerance.

We all have our prejudices, our bigotry, and our zealotry. It's all in all of us. We're built of
the same ingredients, just different recipes. Accepting that truth can help us feel compassion
for Mel and his family, right now when they need it. But I understand you're still angry. I
truly do. The whole thing will pass, and I'm sure you won't be going through your client list
identifying the ones who've said hateful things, abusive things, racist things - and asking the
industry to stop working with them too.

You're the one who boldly said "standing up against bigotry and racism is more important
than money." It's a position that would be heroic - except for the hypocrisy. We all fall down.
How quickly do we get up and make amends? That's what endures.

Gavin de Becker
Author of Bestselling Books about Violence and Words
Bar Mitzvah 1968, Graduated Hebrew School 1969
Never Been Really Drunk
Said Plenty of Regrettable Things When Sober

comment #3

Mathew says ...

"Ari Emanuel, who suggested earlier this week that people in the industry should blacklist Mel Gibson over his anti-Semitic remarks."

Speaking of 'black': Wasn't it Jane Hamsher also of the Huffinton Post who posted a blackface photo of Joe Lieberman? I'm not sure how this got by Ari's liberal radar detector...

comment #4

Anonymous says ...

indeed

comment #5

T.H. Ung says ...

It's so much bigger than getting drunk and running at the mouth. It's Mel's philosophy that counts. He's preparing for his future by building his own church, it's a shocking story, written 6 months ago.

http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,184668,00.html

comment #6

Anonymous says ...

Who the hell cares? Do you know how many wealthy churchgoers fund the building of their churches. I know two myself.

If I were Mel Gibson, I'd want a private church too. Denzel Washington goes to a huge church in Los Angeles, it's open to the public and because of that he has to be surrounded by bodyguards. Does that sound like a holy experience?

comment #7

Mathew says ...

"He's preparing for his future by building his own church, it's a shocking story, written 6 months ago."

It's a free country. Freedom for religions regardless if you agree with them or not.

comment #8

Thung says ...

You ignoranomous, you could not have read the story and come away with that Denzel analogy.

Matt, you ignoranomous, IMHO, Mel has always known that "Glory is fleeting, but obscurity is forever." So he set out to build his private church compound in Agoura Hills to protect and ensure he'd achieve an obscurity of his own design, forever, when the time came.

comment #9

Jesse says ...

I (first ignoramous) did come away with my Denzel conclusion after reading the article. Do you think I was just holding on to that idea, waiting for a post to respond to?

But since you know Mel Gibson, know what he thinks, and know everything about his church, I guess I have to believe you.

comment #10

BL says ...

The Israeli invasion of Lebanon turns this Mel Gibson thing into more of a hot potato than it would normally be.

With so many people WITHIN the Jewish community turning the Lebanon invasion into a polerizing issue (any Jewish person who opposes militant zionists are branded 'self-hating jews' or the completely nonsensical 'anti-semetic'), Gibson's actions can be used as one tool to browbeat people into supporting the invasion .

It's really a strange spectacle on a political board I read to see these bizarre convergances and separations going on between white supremisists, anti-semites, anti-moslems, militant zionists and Bush royalists - and this Mel Gibson issue is really touching off some strange reactions.

comment #11

Mathew says ...

"Matt, you ignoranomous..."

I think you're the ignoramus.

comment #12

T.H. Ung says ...

Read it, you won't be sorry. It's good enough to be the next religious themed movie, a la the DVC. And half way down, there's a field trip to the compound and the motorcycle stop which is downhill from the site. It's priceless and, I repeat, written six months ago, so it has nothing and everything to do with Mel's current troubles.

comment #13

Thung says ...

I know it's a challenging story for you guys and gals who just want to move on, it's got numbers in it and sources different writers and references, but the pay off is when he gets to the motorcycle bar, if you've ever driven PCH, you know the place. I promise I won't comment because all I know is in the story, you don't want to be left out of reading this one if you think, like me, that it's not about the drunken slurs, and besides, everyone else is going to read it.

comment #14

Anonymous says ...

Why scroll, here it is again.

http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,184668,00.html

comment #15

Anonymous says ...

Are you some kind of pimp for Fox News, or what?

comment #16

Anonymous says ...

I'm afraid I don't see anything profoundly shocking about this at all. The guy is building churches, so what?

comment #17

Sue M. says ...

Becker's construction is intriguing: "bigotry about
alcoholism." Apparently, holding someone accountable for his actions while drunk is now considered "bigotry." Would Becker extend this to killing people with your car, even non-Jews?

Le'ts see, William Bennett is a gambling fiend. Wait--I'm sorry--that's "bigotry about gambling fiends." And Rush Limbaugh is an Oxycontin addict. Wait--apologies again--that's "bigotry about dope addicts."

It's a good thing conservatives reject moral relativism.

Now back to the movies...

comment #18

Manny says ...

Yeah. David Koresh is building churches. So what? What bad thing could come of something so innocent?

comment #19

Jesse says ...

Bigot: One who is strongly partial to one's own group, religion, race, or politics and is intolerant of those who differ.

"William Bennett is a gambling fiend. Wait--I'm sorry--that's "bigotry about gambling fiends."

Actually it is, he's a rich man that chooses to gamble. Your choice to call define this as negative, makes you a bigot by definition.

"And Rush Limbaugh is an Oxycontin addict. Wait--apologies again--that's "bigotry about dope addicts."

No, calling Rush Limbaugh an Oxycontin addict is just a statement of fact, and something that he has admitted to, so it's just a statment of fact.

Thus, Ari Shapiro making a blanket statement that every word that comes out of a drunk person's mouth should be taken at face value without regard to extenuating circumstances makes Ari Shapiro a bigot.

See, just like anti-semitism, bigot has a very broad definition.

comment #20

Anonymous says ...

What happened to David Koresh and the people in that compound was an absolute atrocity. The blame for those events can be laid directly on the doorstep of the government. Look it up.

comment #21

L.B. says ...

"Thus, Ari Shapiro making a blanket statement that every word that comes out of a drunk person's mouth should be taken at face value without regard to extenuating circumstances makes Ari Shapiro a bigot."

But what does it make Ari Emmanuel?

comment #22

L.B. says ...

Or even Ari Emanuel? What about him?

comment #23

Thung says ...

It's a big deal when the church/compound he's building, the Holy Family Catholic Church, and a church similar to it that "...Gibson was persuaded by his father to become involved (with)" are both "not recognized by the archdiocese." And, when, "With the exception of Tom Cruise, no major box office star has devoted so much time to making his religious beliefs public than Gibson. Portrayed for years in the press as a 'devout Catholic,' it turned out his brand of Catholicism had little to do with mainstream church."

I add that maybe Ari knew it was more than the remarks Gibson made that night, since this knowledge of what Gibson's been doing has been out there, and I'm the only one who's shocked because it's new news to me.

comment #24

Thung says ...

I wonder if the bus loads of kids form Christian Youth Organizations knew this when they lined up watch POTC? That's a rhetorical question.

comment #25

Sue M. says ...

"Actually it is, he's a rich man that chooses to gamble. Your choice to call define this as negative, makes you a bigot by definition."

If it's bigotry to oppose gambling, then Bennett himself (who called his own gambling a "problem") and his Republican cohorts (who recently banned internet gambling) are bigots, too. But you don't know what the meaning of "bigot" is.

"Thus, Ari Shapiro making a blanket statement that every word that comes out of a drunk person's mouth should be taken at face value without regard to extenuating circumstances makes Ari Shapiro a bigot."

No, it makes him an adult for whom willful actions have consequences.

comment #26

Anonymous says ...

"What happened to David Koresh and the people in that compound was an absolute atrocity. The blame for those events can be laid directly on the doorstep of the government. Look it up."

Rubbish. Koresh engineered his own apocalypse. It happens all the time with religious fanatics. They're in love with death. Koresh. Jim Jones. 9/11 Jihadists....

comment #27

Anonymous says ...

"No, it makes him an adult for whom willful actions have consequences."

If he was drunk, could his actions be considered completely willful? If I sign a contract when I'm totally drunk, that contract is not legal even though I "willfully" signed it.

Furthermore, since when have agents been able to take the high moral ground about anything? From everything that I've read, the people calling Mel Gibson an anti-semite, don't really know him. His friends, Jews among them, say that he isn't. Who do you suppose knows better. If Mel Gibson was an anti-semite, why would a Jewish person like Dean Devlin stand up for him? Explain that.

comment #28

Anonymous says ...

no you explain it yourself, do your own work

comment #29

Anonymous says ...

how cute

comment #30

Anonymous says ...

Celebrity gossip is work?

comment #31

Anonymous says ...

It's interesting that so many people are making this bold statement that Mel Gibson is an "anti-semite." But none of us know him, few of us have had conversations with him, and I doubt anyone here can count him as a close personal friend.

But when a close personal friend, and Jew, Dean Devlin says that Mel is no anti-semite, I'm more inclined to believe him than any hysterical internet blogger.

Posted by: at August 5, 2006 09:40 AM

Anne Thompson blote (past tense for blite -- a cross between blog and write) some very interesting personal reflections on Mel: "I'm conflicted about Gibson, whom I've talked to many times over the years. When my husband and I had a few beers with him at the Beverly Wilshire bar during the Mad Max era, I was struck by how much he enjoyed being shocking. (I cannot recount the astonishing story he told us in a public forum.) Years later, during my stint at Premiere Magazine, we did a fun cover shoot with Gibson, Jodie Foster and Kevin Costner on the Warner Bros. lot. Gibson has always been charming, a little guarded about keeping himself private, but always sharp and helpful about sharing info on his movies. On some level, he's eager to please. He is not one of the entitled Hollywood royalty who takes his stardom for granted. With Gibson, you get the sense that he knows it could be taken away at any moment. He's still proving himself, in other words."

I get a sense from these reflections about the Bonaparte quote "Glory is fleeting, but obscurity is forever" that Mel always knew and prepared for his glory being fleeting, and set out to build his private church compound in Agoura Hills to protect and ensure he'd achieve an obscurity of his own design, forever, when the time came. Overly dramatic, probably yes, but truth in there, I think yes.

Posted by: Thung at August 5, 2006 09:55 AM

comment #32

Anonymous says ...

Wow that told me nothing at all. And why do you keep reposting that stupid "glory is fleeting" paragraph?

comment #33

Anonymous says ...

http://reporter.blogs.com/risky/2006/08/spinning_mel_gi.html#comments

Spinning Mel Gibson

Mel Gibson's reps earned their pay for this LAT story. Don't get me wrong. It's their job to get his friends to stand up for him, and some of them did. I'm conflicted about Gibson...

comment #34

Judd for the Defense says ...

"If he was drunk, could his actions be considered completely willful? If I sign a contract when I'm totally drunk, that contract is not legal even though I "willfully" signed it."

We are speaking here of criminal liability, not civil law. Gibson's willful action was consuming alcohol. Presumably, he was sober before he started drinking and commenced his consumption in reckless disregard of the (not very surprising) probable consequences. If you're an alcoholic in a bar and you've driven there in your own car by yourself, you know you should not drink. Once Gibson began drinking--willfully--he had to assume full responsibility for the consequences, whether or not he was thinking clearly while intoxicated. I'm sorry but "Not Guilty by Reason of Drunkenness" is not an acceptable defense.

comment #35

Anonymous says ...

I'm sorry but "Not Guilty by Reason of Drunkenness" is not an acceptable defense.

We are talking about the things he said.

I find it so funny that so many people act as though they have never said a mean or negative comment in their life, especially while intoxicated. And so many people are casting stones at him before looking at themselves.

comment #36

T. H. Ung says ...

First hand account better than Fox.

http://www.ostrichink.com/feb2005/church.html
By what weird winds of chance did I end up in Mel Gibson's private Malibu church in the naive spring of 2001?

comment #37

Anonymous says ...

Dude, what's with you and this church?

comment #38

Anonymous says ...

I just hate bold faced liars, religious profiteers and Moonies.

comment #39

Anonymous says ...

De Becker's best point he makes is that many Hollywood agents say things that are SO much worse than anything Mel said. Like (barf) how they talk about women. It's disgusting. But somehow in Ari's world, that behavior is A-OK and hardly worth an open letter to the industry.