Pudgeballs
Here's a N.Y. Times piece that's a portrait of GenX males getting older and not getting married -- marriage levels are down all over -- and just shuffling along and scratching their heads. Written by Eduardo Porter and Michelle O'Donnell, the article is called "Facing Middle Age with No Degree, and No Wife." It basically says that women with jobs and maturity and a firmer sense of responsibility don't see that much upside in getting married to some 37 year-old dude who's trying but not pulling down much of a salary. And so the guys whose careers aren't going great guns are kind of getting pushed aside.
It seems as if a whole new social class is being formed -- single middle-aged pudgeballs. (A pudgeball being a guy who was a major bong-head and ESPN-watcher and Frito-muncher in his 20s and early 30s but is now trying to grim up and fly straighter as he approaches the big four-oh.) Imagine hundreds of thousands of these guys amblin' into their 40s and 50s, nudging the hockey puck along with the toe of their lace-up Converse shoes.
This ties in on some level to that piece I wrote in early July about "a trend in movies about GenX guys in their early to mid 30s who're having trouble growing up. Guys who can't seem to get rolling with a career or commit to a serious relationship or even think about becoming productive, semi-responsible adults, and instead are working dead-end jobs, hanging with the guys all the time, watching ESPN 24/7, eating fritos, getting wasted and popping Vicodins."
Posted by Jeffrey Wells on August 5, 2006 at 11:31 AM
comment #1
NYCBusybody says ...
Why should men let women decide what makes them worthwhile?
Being the bread-winner, having to deal with those pressures, was traditionally the male role. Men did it because they bought into that whole traditional thing. Feminism came along and changed that, and in my opinion, freed a lot of men from that.
What's so great about a "career" anyway? Down with corporate America. hehe
Now I'm getting my lazy ass out of my room today to go see a movie.
If women now feel pressured to be bread-winners and have a firm sense of responsibility, more power to 'em. I think a lot of feminism, not all, but a lot, was not based on achieving equality but simply about reversing the roles. So, there ya go.
Posted by NYCBusybody at August 5, 2006 12:06 PM
comment #2
Len B. says ...
The article says nothing about "reversing the roles." Some dudes are just ending up left with no role. You can't blame the "feminists" if one is simply an aging slacker who greatest achievement is an awesome collection of ticket stubs.
This article really hits home, here in the "Comments" section of Hollywood Elsewhere. Pass the chips. Has anyone seen the remote? I think Jules et Jim is on.
Posted by Len B. at August 5, 2006 12:47 PM
comment #3
Mathew says ...
"What's so great about a "career" anyway?"
It's not just about having a career but having some goals in life. A lot of men today just don't have the passion to achieve goals much less be able to put them on paper. A decent and attractive woman wants a man with ambition.
On the other hand, there are these financially stable, career motivated women (alpha females) who marry 'beta' males. A beta male is basically your average, laid back guy. A "nice" guy but without a lot of ambition. Supposedly these alpha females are initially attracted to these type of men because it allows them to wear the pants in family so to speak. Just like feminists envision. However it doesn't work. Basically as typical of a nice guy, these men feel emasculted and become passive-agressive in the relationship. The women become frustrated at what they see as a weak man who is unable to pull his financial weight in the relationship. So yeah, it comes full circle but now women are seeing through it and not even bothering to get married. Part of it is feminisms fault (the idea that women can be like men) but a lot does fall into grown men lacking ambition and goals in life.
Posted by Mathew at August 5, 2006 12:55 PM
comment #4
BL says ...
Did anyone mention video games and porn?
Posted by BL at August 5, 2006 1:53 PM
comment #5
Tim says ...
Yeah, I indulge in video games. I'm not proud of it. But feminism robbed me of my masculinity, and video games are the only way I know how to prove to myself I'm a man.
Posted by Tim at August 5, 2006 2:58 PM
comment #6
NYCBusybody says ...
God feminists hate porn.
Posted by NYCBusybody at August 5, 2006 6:37 PM
comment #7
Todd J says ...
I watch lesbian porn. Does that make me a feminist?
Posted by Todd J at August 5, 2006 6:58 PM
comment #8
gh says ...
"Gen-x" is the generation that doesn't want to grow up and most were raised by boomers, so what does that tell you.
Posted by gh at August 5, 2006 8:30 PM
comment #9
Aladdin Sane says ...
Todd, that's the funniest thing I've read all day.
I'm approaching 25, and I'm in no hurry to find a wife, but finding a career outside of my 'dead-end' job would be nice, since filling the freezer aisle of a supermarket is not where I want to be in 15 years...probably something like journalism, so I can join the Hollywood Foreign Press and sell my words to the highest bidder. Ah selling out will never have felt so good. ;)
Posted by Aladdin Sane at August 5, 2006 11:38 PM
comment #10
MAGGA says ...
Ooh, poor men, women with stature are looking the other way. Men are such victims! Working your ass off all your life to have money you can never spend and a woman of "stature" is soo much better than partying and casual sex. Come on, the only reason these guys are always "cured" at the end of the movie is that the uncultured moneymen are worrying about the female demographic. Lots of guys are perfectly happy leading insignificant lives.
Posted by MAGGA at August 6, 2006 5:59 AM
comment #11
dullea says ...
Why does Jeff always imply that marriage is some kind of honorable male imperative that all thinking, worthwhile men should aspire to? It obviously didn't work for him. And does anyone in the world have a more slacker-ish job than Wells? He just sits around, watches movies, surfs the net, and posts links all day. Even most slackers wouldn't dare call that a profession. At best, it's a total slacker profession and not a position from which condemning slackers makes a whole lot of sense.
Posted by dullea at August 6, 2006 6:49 AM
comment #12
Linden says ...
I think Len B. hit it right on the mark with his post just making it all the more amusing to read the posts that came after.
Posted by Linden at August 7, 2006 12:44 AM
comment #13
Edward says ...
Looking around at the state of our society makes me wonder if it's worth having a career and paying taxes to continue the status quo.
I'm ready for retirement so I can be slacker.
Posted by Edward at August 7, 2006 9:37 AM