comment #1

jeffmcm says ...

The character's name is J.R.
What would Dallas have in common with The Devil Wears Prada? Maybe it was the failure of Miami Vice that helped slow this movie down.

comment #2

JamesK says ...

"Tennis ball" haircut? Done anything about your mop, lately? :-)

http://www.hollywood-elsewhere.com/images/column/101706/bendjurors.jpg

PS - Nice typo on the JT Ewing!

comment #3

NYCBusybody says ...

The show is well before my time, so I don't really remember it, but who was the target audience for it? Obviously, it was in a very different time (only 3 networks), so the audience for any show in the early 80's was by broader.

I know it was big in the U.K...

comment #4

Movie fan09 says ...

"Tennis ball" haircut? Done anything about your mop, lately? :-)

which one is jeff?

the reaper's poker buddy looking guy?

comment #5

Jesse Perry says ...

The one thing that pic taught me is that Ray Pride HATES getting his picture taken.

comment #6

nola says ...

Dallas is HUGE overseas. I don't know how you update it. I kinda remember the show. Just leave it alone. Must we remake every freaking thing?

comment #7

thatmovieguy says ...

It's amazing how little the studios learn from the box office crash-and-burns of MIAMI VICE, BEWITCHED, DUKES OF HAZZARD, I SPY, THE MOD SQUAD, etc. What's next? A big-screen version of MR. T and TINA? HELLO, LARRY? COP ROCK? I seriously doubt most people under the age of 25 have ever even seen an episode of DALLAS and far fewer would be willing to buy a ticket to see John Travolta (on what planet is he still considered solid gold at the box office?) try to impersonate Larry Hagman. DALLAS producers, please take the bloated budget for this fiasco-in-the-making, divide it by 10 and give it to 10 filmmakers with some fresh ideas. Maybe you'll get the next MEMENTO or LITTLE MISS SUNSHINE, maybe you'll get 10 flops, but at least you won't wind up with a turkey that you'll delete from your list of credits within a year of its release.

comment #8

fnt says ...

As I mentioned in Jeff's Bombs To Be, the script to this sucked. Just awful.

Here's the problem: what tone do you take? You can't take it seriously, because it's such high camp. At the same time, because it's a soap opera, you need things like murders and illegitimate children that aren't exactly laugh out loud funny.

They haven't figured it out and I doubt they ever will.

comment #9

christian says ...

the only way this will work is like a comedy treated as seriously as MIAMI VICE.

that said, i hope the brilliant marketing mavens now fully in charge of whoring the studios will think about a PINK LADY AND JEFF film starring Ben Affleck, Gong Li and Lucy Lui.

should only cost around 154 million.

comment #10

NYCBusybody says ...

"Here's the problem: what tone do you take? You can't take it seriously, because it's such high camp. At the same time, because it's a soap opera, you need things like murders and illegitimate children that aren't exactly laugh out loud funny."

This is perfectly said, fnt.

Campy but faux-serious/dramatic serial soap operas are IMPOSSIBLE to translate to a 2 hour movie experience, by their very nature.

Why try?

comment #11

bmcintire says ...

Even though they lost money compared to their budgets (especially considering the massive amounts of cash spent on publicity), MIAMI VICE, BEWITCHED and THE DUKES OF HAZZARD are nowhere close to the all-out flops that I SPY and THE MOD SQUAD were. Execs are always hoping for the next MISSION: IMPOSSIBLE or ADDAMS FAMILY, but generally end up with an unpolishable turd like THE HONEYMOONERS or a low-level (read: financially disappointing) cult hit like A VERY BRADY SEQUEL. But DALLAS? Really, what's the point? I don't recall anyone watching it for its camp value back in the 70's, but that's the only shred of charm left to it now. I don't think Hollywood has figured to how to make a (secretly intentional) unintentionally bad movie. And it probably still wouldn't work out if they did. In all seriousness, someone thought SHOWGIRLS was going to be a genuinely good movie.

comment #12

nemo says ...

http://www.hollywood-elsewhere.com/images/column/101706/bendjurors.jpg

What happened to your rule about never letting yourself be photographed holding a bottle or a glass, a sure-fire way to make yourself look like lush?

Yeah, it's a coffee cup. But those of who are old enough to remember the Jackie Gleason Show knew that during his opening monologue the big man wasn't sipping Maxwell House blend that coffee cup.

comment #13

Dixon Steele says ...

If ever there was a movie that shouldn't be made, it's this one.

Pull the plug and keep it pulled...

comment #14

RDP says ...

I live just a few miles from South Fork Ranch, which still apparently does some decent business giving tours to tourists.

But even with that, I can't imagine anyone, even the people who are interested enough to take the South Fork tour, wanting to see a Dallas movie.

comment #15

le corbeau says ...

The appeal of these things-- like the rash of Saturday Night Live spinoffs-- is that their titles have built-in recognition at the video store.

That makes sense for a relatively cheap movie like The Dukes of Hazzard. It makes a lot less sense when the budget climbs into the $150 million range.

I also think they work when no one really remembers the show that well-- I mean, who's actually seen an episode of Mission Impossible or The Addams Family in 25 years? But to the extent we remember anything about Miami Vice or Dallas, it's clear identification of the star actors with their roles. You wind up with bigger stars who are, arguably, better actors trying to imitate-- or trying NOT to imitate-- someone much more limited in what was, however, the role of their lifetime. It's a lose-lose all around.

comment #16

christian says ...

the fact is their core audience does not remember these shows. so what's the point?

it's part of the dubious marketing theory that anything with a previous recognition is better than something unique and original.

comment #17

Dave Polands Gut says ...

Can someone name one hardcore Dallas fan? No one under 35 even knows what it is.

comment #18

thatmovieguy says ...

Dave Poland's Gut: Agreed. The people who watched DALLAS regularly back in the day were my parents' age -- remember that this was before most homes had cable, so there weren't many choices and the ratings of the Big Three networks were much, much higher than they are now. I would guess that most of those former fans are now well into their 60s and 70s (if they're even still with us). If some producer wants to gamble $100 million or so on a big-screen version of a fatuous soap opera to sell to a crowd that now buys discounted senior tickets, he or she should feel free to do so. But I wouldn't put one dime of my money into it -- and I certainly wouldn't pay to see it.

comment #19

christian says ...

but the marketing people say it's a BRAND and therefore has some kind of legs...don't you understand? a BRAND.

comment #20

grener says ...

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