comment #1

Rich S. says ...

Spears/Federline appears to be a little different insofar as Federline was from the start clearly not the Alpha in that relationship. I may be wrong, but I believe the balance of power in the other two relationships (Swank and Witherspoon) were more equal when they began. Federline was clearly looking to ride a gravy train and it left the station without him.

Also, I didn't see Spears on Letterman the other night, but from what I hear, if she isn't back to pre-K-Fed physical form, she's not far from it. It sounds like she just finally woke up from whatever teen crush white trash baby producing haze she was in and kicked him to the curb.

comment #2

dixiedugan says ...

I don't follow this kinda stuff normally, but from what I have heard or read I highly doubt either one of these hillrods are capable of any higher brain power to recognize 'deep seated needs' other than what flavor milkshake they want from McDonalds.

comment #3

storymark says ...

So, last week, marraiges always failed becuase of the husband catting around, and money.

This week, they end because of babies and fat wives.

I think I'm learning more about Jeff's personal life than I'd like.

comment #4

Joel says ...

How can you possibly pretend to learn anything from celebrity divorces? These people live far different lives than us. Plus, they get divorced all the time.

comment #5

iamanerd says ...

You can't have it both ways, Jeff. K-fed imregnated Brit literally weeks after she gave birth to the first child. Sure, she put on some weight, but she had two babies in one year. I am guy so I love to have it both ways: want kids, but want them to magically pop out of a woman's body. Want to do the act of making babies? Then accept the fact that it changes a woman's body (and mind) usually forever.

comment #6

tholl-yung says ...

It was stud service, then he got too comfortable and misbehaved more and more and then committed the worst crime of all: started getting a career -- how threatening for Brit. $300,000 compare it to "Seattle Slew's stud fee had a wide range at different points of his life. The amount ranged from around $100,000 at it's lowest to $750,000 at it's highest." He was what she needed at the time, but things change.

comment #7

tholl-yung says ...

And to think, her mother prevailed and convinced her to have a pre-nup, when Brit wanted to do it all for love. I do believe there was a lot of puppy love in the beginning and that they're both so stupid and un-examined -- Brit said her 1 year old is very clingy and she likes that because it makes her feel needed. See what I mean?

comment #8

tholl-yung says ...

I don't get it. She can dance her ass off, but she can't ice skate?

comment #9

TL says ...

As Steve Martin said, it's tough to keep a marriage together in Hollywood because they sleep with so many people.

comment #10

Rich S. says ...

Hey, TL, didn't Steve also say that they were all gay?

comment #11

Rich S. says ...

(Sorry. Just re-read that post and realized it might be taken the wrong way. I was just quoting Steve Martin's Oscar speech.)

comment #12

aspiringcrackaddict says ...

YEah ALPHA MALES YEAH

YEAH YEAH YEAH YEAH YEAH YEAH

comment #13

Earl Hofert says ...

Maybe when the ad for that craptacular "Babel" goes away, it can be replaced with a big "NO FAT CHICKS" banner.

comment #14

gunder says ...

There was a recent interview in either Esquire or GQ with K-Fed. Tell you what, that kid is razor-sharp. He even said himself that he's producing tracks that Eminem can't even do.

comment #15

MattyC says ...

Clearly, I'm not touching the above comment about K-Fed being "razor-sharp."

However, I began to notice some commonalities between Britney's divorce and yesterday's election results. I wrote a little piece that I shall post here and on the official election board. I amused myself, anyway:

Finally!

After years of negative headlines, public outcry, and plummeting approval ratings, this morning we can officially state what everyone has seen coming for some time:

Britney Spears has filed for divorce!!

Huzzah!

Seriously, many interesting parallels can be drawn between the Bushies and the Britneys. Alright, not many, but at least a couple.

Both Britney and America were naive virgins back in 1999, unaware of the not-so-sweet seductions about to take place. In 2000, America was taken into the bedroom and sweet talked out of its panties by Karl Rove. (point of interest: obviously, this is a metaphor, as Karl Rove has never talked an actual woman out of her panties) Similarly, Britney was talked out of her panties by Justin Timberlake. Much like America, Britney was in denial of this fact for several years, and didn't begin to admit anything publicly until about 2003. **Editor's Note: any and all B.S. dates were at least half-heartedly looked up, but my source was a fansite made by a 12 year old, so feel free to correct me. When in doubt, I used dates that supported my thesis, natch:)**

2003 is a milestone year in both relationships, actually, for it is the year of Mission Accomplished. For Bush, it was playing dress-up-like-a-pilot and proclaiming victory in Iraq, while in Britney's case, Justin did what every guy (and quite a few creepy old men) had wanted to do since 1999. (side note: abstinence is fine and good, but did you SEE her in that red leather body suit?? I mean, if somebody isn't hittin' that, it's a crime against humanity. Seriously.)

2004 was rough all around. In September, Britney married Kevin. (Kissed me, MARRIED KEVIN!! That one's for all you High Fidelity fans) Determined, apparently, to not be taken advantage of a second time, she got pregnant almost immediately. D'oh! Just as K-Fed was laying down his beats, so to speak, in Ms. Spears' fertile womb, so too was America getting fucked. On November 4th, 2004, the fucking went just how conservatives like it: missionary, baby. Bush on top, America (cough**Ohio**cough) lying there, silent, not putting up much of a struggle. Soon, it was all over, and we resigned ourselves to putting up with the bastard a while longer.

In 2005 and much of 2006, it was all having a positive outlook, even in the face of a media who persisted in going negative. K-Fed's at Pure while Britney sobs!! US Casualties Top 2000! Britney Kicks Kev to Basement! Abu Ghraib Torture Scandal! Britney Endangers Child! Prez Makes Grammatical Gaffe!! Through it all, Bush was there to comfort us, to ensure us that though times were tough, we had to Stay The Course (this phrase copyrighted and not to be used without the express written permission of GWBinc. Not that we ever used or meant it in the first place.). K-Fed and Britney appeared in public, smiling, cooing over their son.

In the last few months, cracks began to show. High profile interviews showing slivers of dissent surfaced. Britney cried on the Today show, and Vanity Fair quoted many members of Bush's cabinet as saying for the first time that they did not like the way things were going in Iraq. October was a rough time for all involved, as scandals previously unimagined on both sides came to light. For Republicans, it was Mark Foley, increased violence in Iraq, and of course Ted Haggard. For Britney, it was the shock that her second child was, indeed, the product of Federline DNA.

Seriously, how does that happen? I mean, okay, I'll give her the first one. Well, no, I can't actually, because K-Fed doesn't strike me as particularly smart, charming, handsome, or ANYTHING. He's a nothing, got literally not one damn thing going on. However, I thought the same about Bush in 2000, and was one of the 1% that voted for Nader out of apathy. So, okay, we both got had the first time around. But how, oh how, does that second time happen? I thought in spring '04 that Bush was gonna lose in a landslide. Most people thought K-Fed was gonna be gone from Britney's side in under 6 months, too. We were all wrong.

But I think once that second child became reality, and Britney realized the kind of life she had in store, she snapped out of it, and quickly did what she had to do to get out of an unhealthy relationship. In an odd bit of symmetry, Britney Spears and America filed for divorce on the same day. It is a day to reflect, perhaps to mourn, and finally, to move on with hope-filled hearts.

So say we all.

comment #16

Dave Polands Gut says ...

He got a real bad deal.

He got to sleep with one of the best girls in the world, gets 15 mill, and becomes famous.

Not a bad 2 yrs