Human behavior

email this story
read comments (24)
post a comment

Those recently surfaced, possibly accurate details about Ryan Phillippe's bustup with Reese Witherspoon -- alleged catting around with Abbie Cornish (his costar on Kimberly Peirce's Stop Loss), leaving e-mail evidence of same on his Black- berry -- are being mentioned out of boredom, yes, but also to illustrate two behav- ioral truths: (1) people who get caught cheating are almost always subconsciously looking to get out of whatever committed relationship they're in; and (2) married couples split up for two reasons and two reasons only -- one or the other fucking around and money problems. All the other issues (including spousal abuse, alco- holism, gambling, etc.) are fixable. But not money -- either you're a winner and a conqueror or you're not -- and not dicking around, which most women will abso- lutely not forgive.

Edelstein on Borat<< previous | next >>Barack Obama again

Posted by Jeffrey Wells on November 1, 2006 at 8:09 AM

comment #1

Chad says ...

I believe Meg Ryan & Dennis Quaid split because SHE was catting around. So I guess there are THREE reasons marriages fail.

Posted by Chad at November 1, 2006 8:38 AM

comment #2

MathewM says ...

Perhaps but you're using a Hollywood relationship to set the example. Very rare do those last due to all of the distractions of being famous. Obviously money wasn't an issue since both of them have decent careers going. It's more or less one or both of them becoming bored and distant in their marriage.

Posted by MathewM at November 1, 2006 8:40 AM

comment #3

MathewM says ...

"I believe Meg Ryan & Dennis Quaid split because SHE was catting around. So I guess there are THREE reasons marriages fail."

For some reason men always seem to take the blame for relationships failing. I have to think in Hollywood it's at least 50/50. Truth is that I've known more "real life" marriage fail because the of the woman. Unlike previous generations theres less of a bond and mentality behind "sticking" with a marriage. I think you can blame some of it on feminism and this: http://today.reuters.com/news/articlenews.aspx?type=healthNews&storyid=2006-10-31T192336Z_01_KIM169763_RTRUKOC_0_US-TESTOSTERONE-LEVELS.xml&src=rss&rpc=22

Posted by MathewM at November 1, 2006 8:45 AM

comment #4

D.Z. says ...

Philippe's a dumb-shit. Anyone who'd stop bangin' a hottie like Reese for a plain-Jane like Cornish deserves to be kicked out of that relationship on the basis of natural selection alone. Anyway, the IMDB posters are having fun claiming that Witherspoon's been screwing Joaquin Phoenix on the side, but I don't buy it.

Posted by D.Z. at November 1, 2006 10:15 AM

comment #5

Jean says ...

Another reason: One wants children, the other doesn't. 2 hollywood examples - Richard Gere / Cindy Crawford and Pitt / Aniston. Despite what they've said in "official" statements, Crawford, transitioning out of her modeling career, wanted to have children; Pitt, with Aniston finishing her tour on Friends, figured it was time to start a family - but Aniston wanted to focus on doing more films. In Crawford and Pitt's rebound relationships: boom, kids right off the bat...

Posted by Jean at November 1, 2006 10:24 AM

comment #6

sutter kane says ...

I'm a firm believer that Hollywood couples always dissolve as soon as one becomes much more successful than the other. Reese is an Oscar winner and commanding at least $10 mil a picture. That makes Phillipe feel inadequate. Is it a coincidence that this went down right after Flags opened poorly, fell off heavily, and did not receive the wild critical approval everyone was expecting?

Posted by sutter kane at November 1, 2006 10:30 AM

comment #7

MathewM says ...

I don't think Flags poor opening has much to do with it. While it's true that Witherspoon has had more success; they have been a couple for a long enough time that that shouldn't be an issue. Look at Annette Bening and Warren Beaty. Has Beaty made a film in the past ten years? Of course comparing Beaty to Phillipe isn't quite fair.

Posted by MathewM at November 1, 2006 10:50 AM

comment #8

Bandersnatch says ...

MathewM, I agree with your first post, about Hollywood couples in no way setting the standard for all marriages, but your second one has me both annoyed and confused. First of all, your blaming feminism for there being "less of a bond and mentality behind 'sticking' with a marriage" suggests that the responsibility for "sticking with" a marriage lies entirely with the woman; i.e., husbands can do whatever they want and women just have to put up with it. Second of all, what on earth do falling testosterone levels have to do with the failure of marriages?

I know it's pretty stupid to post feminist arguments on the ragingly misogynistic Hollywood Elsewhere, but I couldn't let that comment pass. Call me a starry-eyed idealist.

Posted by Bandersnatch at November 1, 2006 10:57 AM

comment #9

p.Vice says ...

Banging an Oscar winner must be tough when your best movie is Way of the Gun. Maybe he couldn't take the heat and got out of the kitchen.

Not to throw gasoline on the fire, but while I agree with Jeffrey that if you're banging somebody on the side and leave the evidence on a blackberry it's definitely a sign you want out of your marriage on some subconcious level, what might we NOT know about what led Phillipe astray? If you're married to Reese Witherspoon there's gotta be a good reason to flush it all down the crapper. Or else you're just a moron.

Then again, when your best movie is Way of the Gun...

Posted by p.Vice at November 1, 2006 11:09 AM

comment #10

NYCBusybody says ...

It's not misogynistic to be anti-feminist, although propagandizing, divisive feminist supporters will never understand that.

OF COURSE divorce is primarily due to the idea and sanctity of marriage being lessened in the last 40 years (one of the lesser aspects of the Religious Right has been their propensity to pay nothing but casual lip-service to skyrocketing divorce rates even in Middle America, and especially among Republican politicians, i.e. McCain, Gingrich, etc).

The idea that marriage is a sanctified institution that must be maintained even though there are many difficulties inherent to it has been mocked and defiled by leftists since the 60's, primarily by militant feminists who liken it to slavery, or who deny thousands of years of evolution that have produced...shock of horrors...GENUINE DIFFERENCES between men and women.

I've known very few young men (including myself) who have not been commitment-phobic in our day and age because of the thought that we'll be missing out on the casual sex that is so easy to get now, because young women are "sexually liberated". How many young men now believe marriage to be slavery for THEM? After all, it's biologically true that men are much more driven to spread the seed, be polygamous - marriage, and a healthy respect for the bond of marriage, was a civilizing factor, or at least an attempt at one. Get rid of that, and boys will be boys.

Posted by NYCBusybody at November 1, 2006 11:11 AM

comment #11

Ju-osh says ...

4) Spousal abuse, 5) drug addiction, 6) alcohol abuse, 7) someone already mentioned the to breed or not to breed dealbreaker...

Perhaps reasons 1 & 2 were the only reasons for your failed relationship(s), Jeff, but to presume to know (and number!) the reasons for ALL failed marriages is a bit ridiculous. Maybe you should stick to those randomly posted, Zoltar-like Oscar-predicitions. At least with those you can not be proven to be completely wrong until after February 25th.

Posted by Ju-osh at November 1, 2006 11:11 AM

comment #12

storymark says ...

Watch that propaganda there, Matthew, or NYCIdiot will be forced to explain why it's perfectly natural for men to cat around, and why women are wicked for not taking it.

Posted by storymark at November 1, 2006 11:30 AM

comment #13

lawnorder says ...

How can you watch SOMERSAULT and tell me Abbie Cornish is a plain Jane? Are you out of your mind? She's smoking hot!!!!! Word is, she's crazy... but a plain Jane she ain't! I have no doubt that she came onto Ryan strong and he couldn't resist.

Posted by lawnorder at November 1, 2006 11:31 AM

comment #14

iamanerd says ...

Wouldn't leaving evidence on your Blackberry be a concious way of saying you want out of the relationship? How is something as straight forward and physical as an affair and keeping proof of it be considered in the same realm as something buried in the back of your mind.

Not to throw gas on this fire, but there are plenty of rich and successful people who get divorced. We can't operate under the assumption that "money problems" means the couple didn't have any cash. Please. If anything, juggling multimillion dollar careers, contracts, endorsements, appearances, etc. causes as many fights as having 10 dollars in the bank. Money screws with you at both ends and the middle. (no pun intended)

Posted by iamanerd at November 1, 2006 11:53 AM

comment #15

Bandersnatch says ...

Ah, storymark, you know the HE community so well...

NYCBusybody, you can be opposed to particular kinds of militant political feminism, but since feminism is "the theory of the political, economic, and social equality of the sexes" (according to Merriam-Webster), being anti-feminist is as unacceptable as being anti-civil rights.

I wasn't disagreeing with MathewM's suggestion that the rise in divorce rates is due to a lack of respect for marriage as a "sanctified institution." I took issue with his implication that this lack of respect lies primarily with women, i.e., that it's always up to the woman to make sure that a marriage "sticks."

As for your comments about the Religious Right (which I agree with, by the way - it's hypocritical to claim that gay marriage would destroy the sanctity of the marital bond while ignoring the destruction of that same bond through divorce), the GENUINE DIFFERENCES between men and women, and all those "sexually liberated" women you're terrified of being enslaved by, I assume there must be a "propagandizing, divisive feminist supporter" standing in the room with you who really needs a lecture right now, since those remarks have nothing to do with what the rest of us are talking about.

Posted by Bandersnatch at November 1, 2006 12:01 PM

comment #16

Thrudvangar says ...

"...a hottie like Reese..."

What's so hot about that chin?

Posted by Thrudvangar at November 1, 2006 12:43 PM

comment #17

jbf81 says ...

Please, we ALL knew Ryan would be accused of infidelity since this is the latest trend with the media: blame the man and vicitimize the woman.

If Reese goes to Oprah or start to cry in an interview in Vanity Fair, she will lost all my respect.

Posted by jbf81 at November 1, 2006 2:39 PM

comment #18

RoyBatty says ...

Damn, seems I forgot that my marriage ended because of either my catting around (and not hers) or money problems. Just clean slipped my mind I guess.

D.Z. - you seem to be confusing her apprearance in SOMMERSAULT with how she looks in other films or real life. You should check out some pics on her imdb.com listing - she is a total biscuit.

That said, Witherspoon always struck me as a prim, proper and reserved type. While there are always a host a factors leading to the end of relationship, it wouldn't shock me if one of them was sexual tastes. Maybe Commish likes to get down and dirty more than Witherspoon (ala Hugh Grant and Liz Hurley).

Posted by RoyBatty at November 1, 2006 2:49 PM

comment #19