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Roman Polanski: Wanted and Desired
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A Very British Gangster
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Happy New Year
I'd say "Happy New Year" to everyone, but...all right, Happy New Year. I have always hated saying those words. Nothing's "happy"...nobody's "happy" anywhere. At best, people are content, joyously turned on for the moment, laughing or telling a funny story or a good joke, placated, relaxed, energetic, enthused, full of dreams, generous of heart, intellectually alive...but "happy"? The word itself has always struck me as one that only simple minds would use.
I'm only drinking Monster and Perrier tonight, and I'm not forking over $14 to any bartenders for a drink. Anywhere. I don't care who I'm with or what anyone thinks of this policy/attitude. I'll give $14 to a homeless person first. I won't give my hard-earned money to anyone or anything that rubs me the wrong way tonight. I'll walk the streets first. I hate everything about New Year's Eve, especially young guys going "ooowwwooooh! in animal bars as midnight approaches.
There's always the Sundance Film Festival and whatever good or great films that may show there, and the lovely Santa Barbara Film Festival right after that, and also the eight or nine great or good movies that I know are being released between January and April (like God Grew Tired Of Us, Reign Over Me, The Lives of Others, etc.).
Plus there's the adventure of finally seeing The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford, which Warner Bros. still doesn't have a release date for, and the chance of a decent thriller/potboiler like Billy Ray's Breach or a rousing, high-style crime film like Joe Carnahan's Smokin' Aces.
The world is choking up and winding down because too many nouveau riche greed-heads are drunk on their SUV lifestyles -- ways of living and spending that they'd rather die or kill for (or see others die) than modify.
We all know the same mistakes are going to be made over the next twelve months, and that the only thing certain is that everything will be more expensive twelve months from now. The only comfort I have is this: the morons who believe global warming is a myth are going to meet each other at parties and get married and have kids and try to teach their children that global warming is a myth, but a significant number of these people are going to fail in this effort because kids always see through their parents' bullshit.
Posted by Jeffrey Wells on December 31, 2006 at 09:37 AM
comment #1
Ian Sinclair ![[TypeKey Profile Page]](http://hollywood-elsewhere.com/nav-commenters.gif)
says ...
Jesus! LOL! Happy New Year anyway, Jeff!
Posted by Ian Sinclair at December 31, 2006 11:17 AM
comment #2
Wrecktum says ...
Seems to me you've already had more than Perrier, Wells. Hic!
Posted by Wrecktum at December 31, 2006 11:19 AM
comment #3
christian says ...
holy cow have a drink jeff!
happy fuckin' new year!
Posted by christian at December 31, 2006 11:20 AM
comment #4
EDouglas says ...
Although this is the wrong holiday, I'm thankful for guys like Jeff Wells who takes the pressure off me and my own "curmudgeonship." I'll probably be asleep by midnight...
Posted by EDouglas at December 31, 2006 11:32 AM
comment #5
mitch says ...
wells has a new cause de jour: climate change. Sweet. maybe he'll add a few more and will become so preoccupied with all of the various causes that writing about hollywood and movies in general will become a thing of the past.
and, damn, i think smiling as i drive my car to work and happily consuming all that beef is actually starting to change the climate on mars:
http://www.geotimes.org/feb02/NN_MarsCC.html
stupid neocons, changing other worlds without informing us.
Posted by mitch at December 31, 2006 11:58 AM
comment #6
Kim Voynar says ...
Dang, Jeff! Actually, I mostly agree with what you've said here. We live in Microsoftville (aka Redmond), land of overpriced McMansions, multi-luxury-SUV households, and parents sticking their kids in daycare 14 hours a day to pay for this fabulous lifestyle they can't live without. So I hear and second your grinchy spirit. I always hated New Year's myself.
You could do what we did last year for New Years -- we decided to forget going out to noisy, overpriced bars altogether and holed up in a Portland hotel room, soaking in a Jacuzzi tub and watched the 24-hour "Law and Order" marathon. Now that was a fun New Years! My days of finding bars full of drunken frat boys enchanting are a long behind me.
This year we're staying home and ringing in the New Year with some family friends and playing board games with all the kids. Yup, I've officially crossed the line into "old and boring." Have to rest up and save my strength for Sundance, though. We crotchety old codgers need our peace and quiet.
Posted by Kim Voynar at December 31, 2006 12:05 PM
comment #7
vansmith says ...
Is that a poster of another Sam Jackson movie that very few people will see?! I think 007 will be a great year, my first novel is coming out!!
Happy New Year!!!!!
Posted by vansmith at December 31, 2006 12:08 PM
comment #8
Mike Schaefer says ...
actually, "Happy New Year" isn't meant as a statement of how anyone feels at the moment... it's a wish for the future. So Happy New Year, Jeff.
Posted by Mike Schaefer at December 31, 2006 12:10 PM
comment #9
Undercover Brother says ...
Man Jeff, if the only thing you can look forward to in the new year is a few movies that really don't mean anything, I think you need to see a shrink. The world is fucked up, as it always has been and will be. But if you can't get past that, can find no happiness in your own health and success, the lives of your kids and family, the lives of your friends, should you have any, or find happiness in any fucking thing around you, then why are you still here? I am not an optimist or a sunny side of life type guy. I find unwaivering optimism as irritating as the next cynic. But I equally loath the perpetually dour. Both are completely predictable, one dimensional qualities. So perk up you miserable bastard. It would make reading this column interesting again.
Posted by Undercover Brother at December 31, 2006 01:00 PM
comment #10
p.Vice says ...
Wishes for peace, love, and George W. Bush's head on a stake in 2007.
Posted by p.Vice at December 31, 2006 01:01 PM
comment #11
therealshell says ...
My thoughts exactly; I've always thought that New Year's Eve was a pointless waste of time; I will be sleeping through it, as always.
Posted by therealshell at December 31, 2006 02:16 PM
comment #12
Argen says ...
Hear, hear, pVice.
I'll spend tonight in a way Jeff can't apparently- surrounded by friends. You should try to get some, Jeff. It takes a little of the edge off and amplifies your talents and abilities.
Not that I care. My resolution for the year is to spend less time info-snacking on the Net and zero time spent digesting Mr. Wells' overbaked prose and pathetic ramblings. So, a farewell to these pages.
To everyone else, I hope a productive and fulfilling new year. Most of all, get out there and create something new while lesser minds wrestle with the real meaning of "happy".
Goodnight and fuck off.
Posted by Argen at December 31, 2006 02:58 PM
comment #13
ioncinema.com says ...
Here are 51 reasons to celebrate the Nouveau year. Enjoy!
Posted by ioncinema.com at December 31, 2006 03:21 PM
comment #14
VoiceOfReason says ...
Don't forget Zodiac.
Posted by VoiceOfReason at December 31, 2006 03:34 PM
comment #15
T. S. Idiot says ...
The world sucks, always has, always will. That's why we watch movies and DVDs, read books, go to baseball games, etc. For a few minutes, here and there, we can forget all the crud.
Posted by T. S. Idiot at December 31, 2006 03:53 PM
comment #16
Craptastic says ...
You are such a miserable human being. I pray you find happiness in 2007.
Hard earned money? Give me a break. Guess I'll see you back at the plant on Tues. morning.
Posted by Craptastic at December 31, 2006 04:38 PM
comment #17
Mike K says ...
You know who loves New Year's?
Fat people.
Posted by Mike K at December 31, 2006 05:49 PM
Posted by Kristopher Tapley at December 31, 2006 06:08 PM
comment #19
MathewM says ...
New Year's doesn't suck, it's just overrated. Enjoy it by making fun of it. Cheers.
Posted by MathewM at December 31, 2006 07:02 PM
comment #20
dobbsy says ...
Just took a look at tapley's ten best of the year.
And then i shot myself in the face.
Posted by dobbsy at December 31, 2006 08:21 PM
comment #21
Kristopher Tapley says ...
Things could be worse. Your name could be dobbsy.
Oh...
Happy New Year.
Posted by Kristopher Tapley at December 31, 2006 08:32 PM
comment #22
christian says ...
or hussein.
Posted by christian at January 1, 2007 09:27 AM
comment #23
dobbsy says ...
Top Ten New Year's Resolutions:
1) Never Mind the Blog Bollocks, Here's the Movies.
2) Don't get into the religious wars being fought between the bloggo equivalents of Sunnis and Shiites, ie Wells vs Poland.
3) Rather than curse the dorkness, light a candle by funding remedial filmmaking education classes for the poor clueless souls in blogland who dither on about a) underwhelming films and b) awards season nonsense.
4) Send fan letters to Ken Loach, Alain Resnais, Ermanno Olmi, Claude Miller, Victor Erice, Michelangelo Antonioni, Chantal Akermann, et al and tell them we haven't all gone blind in America.
5) Pay to see sub-titled movies on big screens.
6) Avoid Sundance.
7) Celebrate Guillermo Del Toro.
9) Celebrate Peter O'Toole. And Judi Dench. And Guy Pearce. Cate Blanchett. John C. Reilly. Stanley Tucci. Diane Lane. Et al. Et al. And all the wonderful actors (and ALL film professionals) of all nations who work their tails off to make the too-often cockamamie, pretentious, silly, overblown, half-baked "visions" of the overlauded "auteurs" of all nations work as well as they do.
(TIE) 10) Ask for help in compiling a shortlist of American filmmakers who actually are in possession of genuine, profound wisdom. Share that list.
10) WISH EVERYONE A HAPPY, MORE PEACEFUL, THOUGHTFUL, CREATIVE, FUNNIER, HAPPIER NEW YEAR!
Posted by dobbsy at January 1, 2007 02:44 PM
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