comment #1

austin111 says ...

Ewwww.....could the journalist who loved Dead Man's Chest be anyone other than.........David "he who has been known to put crap in his top ten list" Poland? I haven't completely trusted his "critical" instincts much since then.

comment #2

Wrecktum says ...

I loved Dead Man's Chest. I saw it four times.

Clearly the worst will be Shrek 3. The second film was DOA except when Puss in Boots was on screen, so, naturally, this tired, snarky franchise is already out of creative energy.

comment #3

Gabriel says ...

When you say that Ratner's "Rush Hour 3" will almost certainly be glorious, you mean....wait, what exactly did you mean?

comment #4

Dan Revill says ...

Gabriel, I'm pretty sure that was sarcasm. At least I hope it was.

POTC3 could be good if Verbinski actually uses an editor and can keep it around 2 hrs (or less).
Shrek the Third will be um...another Shrek sized hit. How's that for a pull quote?!
Spider-man 3 will be fun to watch, but utterly forgettable (like the first two) - although the Venom storyline might actually be interesting.
Bourne Ultimatum better be good. I disliked the first one, and liked the second one. So two out of three have to be good, right?
Which leaves me with Ocean's 13, which I am looking forward to the most out of these threequals. I love the Ocean's films, cos they seem to be preoccupied with being fun. Nothing more and nothing less. So yeah, I'll be there.

comment #5

Undercover Brother says ...

The Worst??? - A tie between Pirates and Shrek. Two completely banal, soulless, twinkie brained franchises that will penetrate into every facet of life around the world. They're continued success reflects poorly on the world in general.

Spiderman 3 - Will be as ambitious as mega-budget movies are allowed to be, but will probably suffer the curse of the 3s. Looks overstuffed and will probably mark the need for a break in the Spidey franchise.

Oceans 13 and Rush Hour 3 will both be big who cares. Probably successful, but nowhere near the level of the three mentioned above. Even if they completely suck and bomb, it won't really matter. No one involved in Ocean's can really be harmed by it should it fail. The only person with anything on the line for Rush Hour is Ratner. If it flops he's got one less franchise to keep his unexplainable career going. Chan has already retreated back to Asian cinema while Tucker seems thoroughly uninterested in any movie career anyway.

comment #6

Hallick says ...

Okay, the Time article hurt the reading cells in my brain.

Of the threequels, I only have high-ish hopes for "The Bourne Ultimatum", since the second movie was an improvement on the first and I didn't want it to end yet; and "Ocean's 13", because Clooney's been up front in saying that he and Soderburgh know "Ocean's 12" was a disaster, and they think they figured out how to fix it. There were elements of "Ocean's 12" I liked in the middle of the muck, so it's 50/50 or worse, but what the hell. I'm not a fan of the "Spider-Man" franchise, but the second one had a lot of love among my friends, so, that might be okay.

"Rush Hour 3" will almost definitely be a half-star flick; "Shrek the 3rd" two to two and a half; and PotC3, since it was filmed alongside PotC2, will be the same shrug of an experience.

But "The Bourne Ultimatum" is the one that would floor me if it isn't a good experience. Everything else, with the exception of "Spider-Man 3", is "buyer beware" from the get-go.

comment #7

jjgittes says ...

"Oceans 13" is high on my list. Loved the first film. Think they know they botched it last time.

They got Pacino.

I expect it to be among the best mainstream films of next year.

What's with the wrong-o description? it's clearly not "revenge against Andy Garcia"? Nobody saw the trailer?

comment #8

Joel says ...

I'm beyond excited for "The Bourne Ultimatum." Ocean's 13 will probably be a light, fun film, hopefully learning from the Julia Roberts problem last time out.

I've avoided the second Rush Hour film, so I have no opinion on the third.

PoTC3...well, I thought 2 was a giant leap backwards, and I wasn't wild about the first. The third could be better, I think.

I'm concerned about Spider-Man 3. I feel that they're introducing too many villians this time out.

Shrek the Thirds - whatever.

comment #9

ZacharyTF says ...

I'm actually looking forward to all of them. In order of preference:

Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End - I love the first two and can't wait to see how this story ends. It's been a blast watching Depp, Bloom and Knightley onscreen as well as Nighy.

Spider-man 3: I didn't really care for the first one, so it was major shock to me when I realized how much I loved the second one. Hopefully, this has more in common with 2 than 1.

The Bourne Ultimatum: The first two are perfect examples of how to start a franchise and keep it going. I like both movies equally.

Shrek the 3rd: I love the 1st movie. I thought it was a breath of fresh air in the animated genre. The 2nd one wasn't anywhere near as good, but I still enjoyed it.

Ocean's 13: Same reasoning as Shrek the 3rd: Love the 1st one, enjoyed the second one, but it wasn't anywhere near as good.

Rush Hour 3: I really enjoy the comic chemistry between Tucker and Chan and enjoy both movies. The fact that Chan has gone back to Asian cinema and that Tucker hasn't done anything since the last one and that Brett Ratner is directing makes this my least anticipated of the "3" movies.

comment #10

christian says ...

undercover brother nails it. i loved SPIDERMAN 2 and think it represents the very best combo of auteur and studio mash up. but 3 looks a little too much. raimi is still the man though.

SHREK 3 will be just as soulless smug and cruel as the others.

comment #11

vansmith says ...

Oceans 13 in the theater, the rest...DVD...

comment #12

Circumvrent says ...

Did Jeff just ruin the ending of "Ocean's 13?"

comment #13

houmas says ...

Well, Jeff recently predicted that Tobey Maguire would give a far more interesting "dark" performance in The Good German than he would in Spiderman 3. Having seen Maguire's rather inept and miscast performance in The Good German, I'd say Jeff was seriously wide of the mark.

Maguire's best performance remains his turns as Peter Parker, and I expect him to continue his strong work with the character in Spiderman 3. As much as Jeff likes to pooh-pooh the Spidey movies, it shouldn't be very difficult for Maguire to better his performance in The Good German in Spiderman 3.

Can't stand the Pirates franchise. I think it's souless and vapid. And Depp's drunken pirate act lost all it's charm the second time out. A third outing for Jack Sparrow will probably ruin the character completly. Jack Sparrow is simply too mono-diminesional a creation to be this generations truly iconic movie hero (ie, he's not the Indiana Jones or Han Solo of the 21st century, no matter how much billions the franchise rakes in. The sooner Depp is finished with the crap, and gets back to making real movies and acting out substantial characters, the better).

comment #14

jeffmcm says ...

Ocean's 12 is better than Ocean's 11 (either version).

comment #15

Mark says ...

Sorry, Greengrass's last Bourne film took the story nowhere. It was a poor man's version of the 1st film, with one of the worst over-edited climaxes to grace a praised film. It's no given IMO that the Ultimatum is the cream of the crop. (Paddy Considane's presence doesn't give much hope either.)

comment #16

jeffmcm says ...

'Took the story nowhere'?

SPOILERS

Bourne lost his girlfriend and his sanctuary, eliminated the man most responsible for his problems, and most importantly, faced the moral consequences of his former life. It was a significantly better movie (bigger, more morally probing, more entertaining) than the original, and featured one of the greatest, best-edited action sequences of the last few years.

Greengrass makes Doug Liman look like the hack that he is.

comment #17

austin111 says ...

Depp's largely one-note (one key?) performance in Dead Man's ...whatever was a sorry substitute for his other much, much worthier performances. I was astounded at how bad it was,REALLY, not to mention how weak it was in the "funny" department, when I saw it after all the overreaching praise. And this year his work in the second installment was excrementially worse, at least according to my son, who liked the first one. It makes Leonardo DiCaprio's performance in Blood Diamond look a masterpiece by comparison.

comment #18

le corbeau says ...

I'm okay with a pirate movie being about nothing but Pirates 1 was so pleased with its cute self, and kept banging so repetitively on my head for so long (as do most action movies these days... praise be to X-Men for being only 100 minutes), that I lost any desire to see more before the first one was over, let alone before two more had their chance to work me over.

comment #19

Craig Kennedy says ...

Maguire is an easy target for The Good German because he was working within an outdated acting style. It's fair to say it worked or it didn't, but either way I don't think he was bad. To the contrary he was quite good in a highly underrated movie.

As for Pirates 3? Spare me. I admit the first one at least seemed fresh and amusing and managed to entertain as long as Depp was on screen but the 2nd movie brought absolutely nothing new to the table. They simply took what worked about the first film, added some new and improved CGI and turned the volume up to 11. It was easily 45 minutes too long and had barely a spark of originality. If they'ed wrapped it up in less than 2 hours they might have had a pleasant time killer for 12 year olds, but even that's not good enough for a movie that raked in a billion freakin dollars.

comment #20

MovieBob says ...

The two "Rush Hour" films are absolutely abysmal, a pair of the worst action films ever produced and the early, unheeded warning that Bret Ratner has NO idea what he's doing.

comment #21

MovieBob says ...

Oh, yeah, and the "Bourne" movies are completely overrated.

comment #22

adaml says ...

Greengrass's direction on the 2nd Bourne was crap and much worse than Liman's original. The car chase alone made it a joke. Unwatchable.

comment #23

jeffmcm says ...

Well, you're wrong. Take that!

comment #24

austin111 says ...

I actually only saw the second Bourne film and thought it was just fine. Entertaining and well made, well acted, it seemed to fly by. I've been told the first is better so I may have to catch it. I'm actually looking forward to the third installment.

comment #25

Undercover Brother says ...

What's a good thing about all these sequels? It will likely mark the end, or a prolonged absense, of the franchises involved. Of all 6 being discussed, only Shrek is really guaranteed to keep chugging on to torture us in the immediate future. Dreamworks has already guaranteed us of that.

Pirates Trilogy - Done. If it comes back it will be as something else a long way down the road.

Spiderman Trilogy - Done, at least with this cast and crew. No one seems really interested in continuing on.

Rush Hours - I think their really pressing their luck with this thing.

Oceans - Promised to be the last by all involved.

Bourne - Likely to be finished for the forseeable future. Maybe Damon will come back to it in ten or 15 years.

So after this summer, the ruling franchises stand to be: Harry Potter, Narnia (snore), Shrek(blech), Batman, Superman(maybe?), James Bond (welcome back), anything else?

comment #26

nola says ...

the script for Ocean 13 was entertaining and I look forward to see Barkin and Pacino paired up again.

I liked Pirates 1, had no interest in # 2. Re: #3 I will pass unless the world of mouth from friends is decent.

Love Sam Raimi, sick of Spidey.

Shrek, enough already unless Puss in Boots is running the show. I still think The Lion King and Finding Nemo are better.

rush hour. no comment

bourne...on the fence. Liked the first two.

comment #27

sandekat says ...

I absolutely can predict which film will be your most hated of the summer of '07, for the whole year, nay, decade, for that matter.

Jeff, do you know the definition of 'OLD FART'? Someone who's hardening arteries have shut off enough blood flow to the brain that pedantic repetitive monotonous whining about the same damn movie over and over again becomes a droning bore.

The Pirates films are good value to those who value them: a thrilling, funny, entertaining story told with great acting (including a resourceful, quick silver Depp), great visuals, wonderful locales, and great production values. Its not high art, but its glorious fun. And Verbenski is proving to be a fantastic director.

I hope that you get a little more oxygen to whatever neurons you have left and quit hiccuping 'its about nothing'.....and wipe the spittal off your chin while you're at it.

PS. I wonder how much your little faux pas with Jerry B plays into your knee jerk loathing.

comment #28

le corbeau says ...

"Love Sam Raimi, sick of Spidey."

I'm pretty much tired of the personal problems of people with magical powers generally. If you're a superhero, the least you can do is stop whining and go kill Castro or something useful.

comment #29

Hallick says ...

"I'm pretty much tired of the personal problems of people with magical powers generally. If you're a superhero, the least you can do is stop whining and go kill Castro or something useful."

Don't you know that, "with great power comes great moping"?

Two rare exceptions are Hiro Nakamura on "Heroes" and the Human Torch in "The Fantastic Four".

comment #30

christian says ...

yeah, that would be a great climax to SPIDERMAN 3.

spidey kills a 80 year marxist leader.

are you listening marvel?

comment #31

Rich S. says ...

Again, a non-story. The third film of a trilogy is seldom satisfying. Return of the King delivered (though in my opinion, it did not fulfill the promise of Fellowship of the Ring). Back to the Future III was a pleasant surprise after II. Last Crusade was a near-miss, though not an embarrassment. Those are the only decent part III's I can recall.

This is just another part from Jeffrey's ongoing series, "Why I Hate Tentpoles." Tying it to expectations on the third part of a trilogy gives it the patina of fresh analysis, but it's still the same stale rant.

Want to do something about it? Vote with your wallet and quit giving these movies any ink. Ah, but that pic of the three POTC principals is pretty seductive, isn't it? And, after all, no matter how much Jeffrey would try to deny it, it's still all about putting butts in the seats, just as it was in Edison's day. And whining about Helen Mirren or dissecting the raison d'etre of Children of Men just doesn't attract enough attention.

comment #32

The Movie Man says ...

Rich-Good observation about the story itself, and, please allow me to nitpick a few of your other comments. I never got why everyone preferred Back to the Future III over II. I thought II was clever in how it played off of the first film, and fast and inventive. I thought III was sort of lame and went nowhere, its like Last Crusade and in that it feels like a half-assed apology for its darker predecessor. Of the LOTR films, I think TWO TOWERS is the best, no lame over long Hobbit prologue or lame overlong Hobbit epilogue.

Castro thing aside, MgMax has a point, I tire of these superhero movies trying to legitimize themselves with a bunch of incredibly banal "inner struggle". SUPERMAN RETURNS really suffered from this. I'm not a snob, I attend the huge budget action films almost as regularly as any other genre, but I think these movies should embrace what they are and have a little damn FUN. SPIDERMAN 2 got this, the only problem with that series is that the cast is beginning to wear on me and I really don't give a good God damn whether MJ or Peter get together or not.

Of all this stuff, I think Bourne will be strong, and O13 has a chance if Soderbergh and company can stop winking at themselves long enough to tell a story. The rest you can keep.