Richards the snorter

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Whatever really happened between Keith Richards and his dad's ashes in '02 -- i.e., he snorted a small portion with a line of cocaine or he used them to fertilize a tree -- no one but no one believes Richards' manager's claim that the snorting story was uttered in jest. (Even if it was.)

Just as everyone presumes that Richards' rep issued the denial because she heard from alarmed Disney publicist Dennis Rice (or from some lackey in the Disney pipeline) and was told that dad-snorting wouldn't go over with the family-fare donkeys who support the Pirates of the Carribbean films in the greatest numbers, and that the whole thing needed to be spun into oblivion.

But the really ridiculous comment in this L.A. Times/Sheigh Crabtree reaction piece is the one in which Rice says, "Keith won't be doing a lot of publicity for this movie." In other words, he's a loose cannon and his press chats on behalf of Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End are going to severely restricted if not eliminated. What did Disney marketers expect when Richards was hired to play Johnny Depp's pirate dad? That he'd comport himself like Dick Van Dyke?

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Posted by Jeffrey Wells on April 5, 2007 at 8:34 AM

comment #1

Mike Schaefer says ...

"The Curse of Brian Jones' Locker" made me laugh out loud.

Is his role in POTC:AWE that big that he was supposed to do major press about it? I thought it was a cameo.

Posted by Mike Schaefer at April 5, 2007 10:44 AM

comment #2

Wrecktum says ...

Only a cynic like Wells would assume that the statement "Keith won't be doing a lot of publicity for this movie" means that Keef is being punished for his gag. Most of the rest of us would read it and take it at face value: Keith won't be doing a lot of publicity for this movie. Which has undoubtably always been true.

Posted by Wrecktum at April 5, 2007 10:55 AM

comment #3

jeffmcm says ...

I can't imagine KR would _want_ to do any publicity for the film - if I was him the point would be to spend a couple of days playing dressup and hang out with Johnny Depp and make some easy money for the heap, not to deal with the press in any way whatsoever.

Does 'family-fare donkeys' refer to the 200 million+ children and their parents in this country?

Posted by jeffmcm at April 5, 2007 11:00 AM

comment #4

Craig Kennedy says ...

Yeah I seriously doubt Keith was picking out suits for his upcomming spot on Leno.

Seriously, he did this for a lark and a pay check.

But "The Curse of Brian Jones' Locker" was pretty funny.

Posted by Craig Kennedy at April 5, 2007 11:00 AM

comment #5

travis b says ...

the snorting of his dad's ashes was a nice addition to the keith richards/rolling stones book of legends, but if keith had said that he had secretly kept the ashes of brian jones all these years and on a lark decided to snort them..that would've been something.

and do they even need to do publicity for the new pirates film? they could really just go without releasing any kind of trailer and awareness would still be ridiculously high.

Posted by travis b at April 5, 2007 11:16 AM

comment #6

gruver1 says ...

Wells to jeffmcm: Yes, "family-fare donkeys" refers to the millions and millions of children and their parents who've been delighted by the two "Pirates" movies so far -- "donkeys" meaning docile and not very discerning and easy to please (some oats, a bowl of water, lots of color and special effects and slapstick humor) and a willingness to be harnessed and led around by (i.e., to financially support) any big-budget, lavish-production-design summer movie as long as it's not dirty-minded or unduly thematic and which aims to simply "entertain" in the empty-minded sense of that term.

Posted by gruver1 at April 5, 2007 11:20 AM

comment #7

christian says ...

this reveals what fools and whores the disney folk have always been -- bringing keith richards onboard their family bullshit franchise tentpole and their overreacting in SHOCK that one of the biggest junkies in rock history might have done some naughty things...

Posted by christian at April 5, 2007 11:28 AM

comment #8

York "Budd" Durden says ...

Keef will outlive you all. He is Not of This World.

Posted by York "Budd" Durden at April 5, 2007 11:37 AM

comment #9

storymark says ...

What's the point of even replying to another Jeff-hates-Pirates thread...?

Posted by storymark at April 5, 2007 11:40 AM

comment #10

Geoff says ...

haha....Keef instead of Keith...not too far off i guess. Ah whatever, lame stoner reference, i know.

Posted by Geoff at April 5, 2007 11:44 AM

comment #11

Craig Kennedy says ...

"What's the point of even replying to another Jeff-hates-Pirates thread...?"

Because it's one of the few things I find myself in universal agreement with him on.

Posted by Craig Kennedy at April 5, 2007 11:46 AM

comment #12

jeffmcm says ...

I guess I don't see the point in calling the vast bulk of the American moviegoing audience - or humanity, for that matter - "donkeys" or "mouthbreathers".

Posted by jeffmcm at April 5, 2007 11:57 AM

comment #13

bents75 says ...

What would be the point in not calling the vast bulk of the American moviegoing audience donkeys? If it walks like a "donkey" and sounds like a "donkey", it's a donkey.

The second pirates movie was so incredibly innocuous I slept through more than half of it. And I don't mean I fell asleep during it, I mean half way into I made a conscious decision that sleeping would be a better way to spend the next 90 minutes.

I'll go one step further. Anyone over the age of 13 who likes these movies isn't a donkey, they're an idiot.

Posted by bents75 at April 5, 2007 12:19 PM

comment #14

jeffmcm says ...

Well, I'm over 13 and I liked the first one perfectly well so thanks for that.

The point I'm trying to make is that calling the bulk of the world's population 'donkeys' is counter-productive. All it does is make the name-caller feel better about themselves and their lofty position - it doesn't make the name-callees anything other than resentful and it doesn't improve the state of things in any appreciable way. It's just bitter and angry for the sake of being bitter and angry and I think we can all do better.

Posted by jeffmcm at April 5, 2007 12:53 PM

comment #15

Craig Kennedy says ...

Jeffmcm, aren't you ever disgusted by the enduring popularity of so much schlock and drivel? Don't you ever wonder what is happening to your fellow man's capacity for self reflection when you look at the weekly box office figures?

On the other hand, I think there's a danger of exaggeration when you look at the financial success of a movie and assume that each dollar is a measure of how well loved the movie really is. Sure, everyone saw it and it made an assload of money, but how many people who are old enough to have sex lives would actually say they flat out loved it? It was a harmless time filler that some people found enjoyable but it wasn't even really a pop cultural moment. Mediocrity will always float to the top when your only measure is box office. Maybe the audience isn't damaged, but only the means of measuring.

Posted by Craig Kennedy at April 5, 2007 12:55 PM

comment #16

DavidF says ...

I'll agree with the take that the Pirates movies are harmless.
Personally I found them relatively enjoyable while they were actually playing but I really don't get why they are a phenomenon of any kind beyond Depp.

As for Keith, I have no trouble believing he was joking about snorting his dad's ashes...it's be easier to tell if there was audio of this interview.
If, on the other hand, he really did snort them and this backtracking is Disney trying to cover their PC asses...well, who cares? He's KEEF RICHARDS, after all!

Posted by DavidF at April 5, 2007 1:02 PM

comment #17

jeffmcm says ...

CJK, that's not the point I'm making. My point is, you accept that information and move on to the next step, which is figuring out how to make things better, and reiterating that people are 'donkeys' does not do that.

Posted by jeffmcm at April 5, 2007 1:11 PM

comment #18

Craig Kennedy says ...

Yes I think I get your point, and I absolutely agree with it by the way. I was simply playing devil's advocate and asking if you don't have days where the sheer lameness of it all makes you want to pull a Howard Beale in Network. I know I do. Granted, Wells seems to have too many of them...

Posted by Craig Kennedy at April 5, 2007 1:16 PM

comment #19

jeffmcm says ...

Sure, but I don't think the Pirates movies fall into that category, personally.
Especially considering that on Wells's front page I think there are all of three or four posts out of dozens where he actually talks about something that he _likes_.

Posted by jeffmcm at April 5, 2007 1:24 PM

comment #20

f.bush says ...

I'm prouud to say I've never watched a minute of either POTC movies. Can you imagine if they had called the "Knights of Prosperity" "Lets Rob Keith Richards"? It could not happen. It would be like trying to rob Dracula

Posted by f.bush at April 5, 2007 1:39 PM

comment #21

nemo says ...

"Especially considering that on Wells's front page I think there are all of three or four posts out of dozens where he actually talks about something that he _likes_."

If you're gonna talk about movies, you're gonna spend a lot of your time talking about things you don't like. Same with talking about politics.

Posted by nemo at April 5, 2007 4:03 PM

comment #22