Hilton heading for the slammer

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I realize, of course, that jails are necessary. Society needs to be protected from bad people. But I've never liked the idea or the metaphor of jail...who does? Whenever I hear about a prison break there's a part of me that wants the escapee to elude the fuzz and the hounds and never be heard from again. All that changed tonight. For the first time in my life, I'm not only glad that a certain person is going to jail -- I'm happy, reassured, comforted.

Paris Hilton's attorney Howard Weitzman said that her sentence was "uncalled for, inappropriate and bordered on the ludicrous." No, no -- it's called for, it's entirely appropriate, and strangers are hugging each other in the streets. Weitzman also said that Hilton has been "singled out because of who she is." Yes, of course, obviously....good move, Judge Sauer!

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Posted by Jeffrey Wells on May 4, 2007 at 9:56 PM

comment #1

tholl-yung says ...

http://goawayparis.com/

I admire this enterprising band.

Posted by tholl-yung at May 4, 2007 10:15 PM

comment #2

D.Z. says ...

Forty-five days and she's still crying?! She got off light. I just wish they'd have meted out similar sentences sooner for the likes of Robert Downey Jr. and his ilk.

Posted by D.Z. at May 4, 2007 10:25 PM

comment #3

D.Z. says ...

Wait, change Downey and his ilk to Richie and her ilk.

Posted by D.Z. at May 4, 2007 10:28 PM

comment #4

JD says ...

In reality, this is a disaster. Like Martha Stewart, Paris Hilton's "career" will get a second act out of this whole jail thing. The best way to lock Paris Hilton up is to keep her out of the papers.

Posted by JD at May 5, 2007 12:13 AM

comment #5

Silverscreenvideos says ...

Paris Hilton in a Women in Prison movie.

Maybe she could co-star with Pam Grier.... the two of them chained together and busting out of some redneck hellhole with Paris clinging to her only worldly possession, her little chihuahua.

And in a bit of stunt casting, we could get Martha Stewart to play the lesbian prison matron who tells Paris how she can make life so much easier for her.

Stacy Keach for the warden. That's a no-brainer. Robert Downey, Jr., as the prison doctor. And because he needs something to get his career back on track, Brad Renfro could play the guy on the outside Paris is trying to get back together with. Martin Sheen as Paris' well-meaning but always too late to get anything done lawyer. Courtney Love as the tough con who gets in a fight with Paris in the shower. Winona Ryder as Paris' older confidante who tries to tell her how things work in the slammer. And Mike Tyson as the men's guard who gets Paris alone and tries to have his way with her before Pam shoves a broken beer bottle up his you-know-what to save Paris and force the two of them to flee (but only if O.J. turns down the role).

This one has the potential to do so much business it will make Spidey 3 look like Grindhouse 2.

Think of the possibility that presents.

Posted by Silverscreenvideos at May 5, 2007 1:01 AM

comment #6

romeoisbleeding says ...

To D. Z., what are you talking about?? Downey served over 2 years in prison for basically parole violations! He was in LA County for a total of a year over 2 stints and in Corcoran Pen for a year! I think he served his time and then some. Meanwhile every other actor and director etc in Hollywood were doing the same thing he had been doing.. only he was caught. Get your facts right ok.

Posted by romeoisbleeding at May 5, 2007 7:36 AM

comment #7

Cadavra says ...

The overriding question is: will this do any good, or will Paris emerge from jail and pick up exactly where she left off? I'm guessing the latter. People like her almost never change; that unearned air of privilege and entitlement is tough to remove.

Posted by Cadavra at May 5, 2007 9:51 AM

comment #8

dangovich says ...

I agree with what JD said.

The worst punishment for Paris wouold be to be ignored.

Posted by dangovich at May 5, 2007 10:27 AM

comment #9

Hallick says ...

I've grown ambivalent about hating Paris Hilton for being a spoiled rich party slut. If she likes being that way, fine, what the hell does it affect me anyway? But I have zero ambivalence over this aspect of her life. BRA-VO, Judge Sauer.

She was handed chance after chance on a silver platter not to get sent to jail; and obviously she just doesn't care about staying out. So good. Her own parents ought to be celebrating this sentence. She was a stupid drunken instance away from actually killing some poor schmuck like Bob Clark.

Posted by Hallick at May 5, 2007 1:53 PM

comment #10

jeffmcm says ...

Unlike Martha Stewart, Paris is too stupid to be planning her 'comeback'.

Her handlers, on the other hand...

Posted by jeffmcm at May 5, 2007 6:20 PM

comment #11

D.Z. says ...

romeo: Hence the reason I said to omit Downey Jr.

Posted by D.Z. at May 5, 2007 6:57 PM

comment #12

filmradar.com says ...

Perhaps she should be forced to attend some Mothers Against Drunk Driving meetings so she can realize that drinking and driving DOES have consequences.

Her parents clearly did a horrible job raising her since she seems to have no sense of responsibility for anything.

Posted by filmradar.com at May 6, 2007 6:21 PM

comment #13