Recounting the troubles

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Some have asked me to recount the car-tossing incident mentioned in Ella Taylor's profile of David Poland in the current L.A. Weekly. It wasn't that big a deal except for what it said about Poland's character. Taylor writes that "on Poland's direction," I was "ordered out of a carful of Poland's colleagues on the way to Sundance." And it wasn't much more than that.

It happened in January '02 (or was it '01?) I had flown in on Southwest with critic Andy Klein, who was writing at the time for Poland's amply-funded Hot Button site. I asked when we arrived in Salt Lake City if I could get a lift into Park City with the Hot Button team (there were three or four others), and nobody objected. Then a woman who was driving started talking to Poland on a cell phone, and after listening to him go on and on for two or three minutes she turned around and said she was sorry but that Poland wanted me out of the car. So I got out and took a bus.

The more significant Poland ejection happened at the start of the Iraqi War (sometime in March 2003) at Nate and Al's in Beverly Hills. We were talking about smart missiles and collateral civilian damage, and I was expressing a naive belief, based on very limited MSNBC knowledge of the accuracy of smart missiles, that while civilian deaths were inevitable they probably wouldn't be too high in number. Poland got angry at my opinions ("People are dying, Jeffrey....people are dying!") and ordered me out of Nate and Al's. He actually used the words, "Get out!" So I got up, dropped some money on the table and left. It was pretty startling. I'd never been thrown out of any business establishment for having the wrong opinion, and I don't suppose it'll ever happen again. Poland is a fairly unique individual.

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Posted by Jeffrey Wells on May 12, 2007 at 10:35 AM

comment #1

OddDuck says ...

I know there are two sides to every story, but man does Poland seem like a major douchebag.

And why does it seem like every 4th or 5th posting Poland puts up is in the form of a badly written poem or song or fable? Everytime I see that kind of cheese on his site I don't go back for like a month at least.

Posted by OddDuck at May 12, 2007 11:23 AM

comment #2

messiahcomplexio says ...

WELLS might ostricize, belittle and calously dismiss many or even most who disagree with his opinions, but I've never seen him go as far as outright banishment.

If this is true, my opinion of poland just dropped several notches.

what a self-righteous Smuck

Posted by messiahcomplexio at May 12, 2007 11:25 AM

comment #3

Geoff says ...

How lame, Jeff is "blue state" all the way and he was expressing an opinion believed by many at the time because it was force fed down our throats constantly. But Poland's reaction is really sad, talk about letting his emotions getting the best of him coming off like a complete douche bag. I steer clear of people who talk to me like that.

Posted by Geoff at May 12, 2007 11:54 AM

comment #4

Gnome de Guerre says ...

Jeff, I'm missing something here... does Poland have pull at Nate and Al's? How does him asking you to leave constitute getting tossed out of a business establishment? You make it sound like it was done by management. Is Poland their favorite customer or something?

Posted by Gnome de Guerre at May 12, 2007 12:25 PM

comment #5

vansmith says ...

you're not scared of this guy are you Jeff?

Posted by vansmith at May 12, 2007 12:35 PM

comment #6

nemo says ...

Jeeze freakin' louise, Poland wasn't even in the car himself.

I have to say, if I'd been the person holding the cell phone, I'd have been damn tempted to tell Poland that when he's driving, he can throw anyone out of the car he wants, but right now I'm driving. And then hang up.

I guess you were right to take a hike from the restaurant rather than stick around for abuse and a shouting match. It's like the super-agreeable treatment Spencer Tracy kept giving Lee Marvin when Marvin tried to push Tracy around in "Bad Day at Black Rock". Except it's like casting George Costanza to play the Lee Marvin part.

Posted by nemo at May 12, 2007 1:13 PM

comment #7

dre says ...

Wow...I am in awe of these stories. Poland comes off as a class A asshole (assuming there isn't more to the story). Kicking someone out because they expressed an opinion? Heil!

I don't get the Nate and Al's thing either ... what is he, al capone?

Posted by dre at May 12, 2007 1:22 PM

comment #8

Geoff says ...

http://hollywood-elsewhere.com/archives/2007/02/mafioso_blogger.php

Admittedly, my ongoing love for that picture is showing some immaturity on my part. But it's just too perfect. Poland is indeed Al Capone.

Posted by Geoff at May 12, 2007 1:42 PM

comment #9

christian says ...

poland's a wimp for tossing you, but he was dead on rights to blaze on you for what seems beyond naive. i know the media machine was in full propaganda mode, but christ. you're more cynical about SPIDERMAN 3 than civilian casualties under bushco?

Posted by christian at May 12, 2007 1:49 PM

comment #10

LYTrules says ...

christian, I think Jeff has more than made up for it since, don't you?

Posted by LYTrules at May 12, 2007 1:52 PM

comment #11

LYTrules says ...

The funny thing is I imagine that debate would be reversed today. Jeff would be yelling about Bush, and Dave would be more concerned about criticizing Robert Greenwald or Kirby Dick for making unfair anti-Bush arguments.

Posted by LYTrules at May 12, 2007 1:55 PM

comment #12

AndyK says ...

Jeff, just for the record, I'll correct the most trivial of memory slips. Technically, the overall site was known as RoughCut or TNT Rough Cut or some such. I don't recall now if Dave's column was already Hot Button, but we all identified ourselves at Sundance as Rough Cut people, living in the Rough Cut house, and -- in that unfortunate incident -- riding in a Rough Cut car. That was the first of a number of strange events for our crew that week, but none was stranger than having TNT pull the plug on the site while we were still at the festival, working our asses off to write and edit a daily print publication.

Posted by AndyK at May 12, 2007 2:41 PM

comment #13

Nick29 says ...

its stories like this that the producers of Roper & friends should read,,and realize that Ebert probably will never come to tv, fire Roper, and but Wells & Poland on instead. the can review movies from a boxing ring. i know i'd watch weekly, and if such a thing happens, i want credit.

Posted by Nick29 at May 12, 2007 4:08 PM

comment #14

christian says ...

now that's the show for ifc!

you owe us boyz...

Posted by christian at May 12, 2007 4:32 PM

comment #15

Joe Leydon says ...

I don't get this. Jeff is the badass who's done time in prison, but he caves when Poland threatens him in a restaurant? Does this mean Jeff is Poland's bitch? Or was Poland brandishing a shiv when he issued his edict?

Posted by Joe Leydon at May 12, 2007 4:41 PM

comment #16

zoey says ...

Only goes to prove, that everything in life is a re-living of the high school microcosm (hey jeff, this is the popular kids' cafeteria table!)

Posted by zoey at May 12, 2007 5:27 PM

comment #17

nemo says ...

"Jeff is the badass who's done time in prison, but he caves when Poland threatens him in a restaurant?"

Hey, and don't forget, Jeff is the guy who rides a cool bike!

Posted by nemo at May 12, 2007 9:33 PM

comment #18

nemo says ...

"... having TNT pull the plug on the site while we were still at the festival, working our asses off to write and edit a daily print publication."

That's karma in action for you. God was pissed that you didn't give Wells a ride.

"Wells & Poland ... can review movies from a boxing ring. i know i'd watch weekly, and if such a thing happens, i want credit."

I let my cable lapse years ago, but I'd sign up again in a heartbeat to watch that!

Posted by nemo at May 12, 2007 9:42 PM

comment #19

jeffmcm says ...

I just read this for the first time.

HA ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.

The thing that I think is funny about Poland (which is also true to a certain extent with Wells) is the cloud of constant self-pity and victimizationhood he carries with him, the way he rails against 'everyone always wants to tell me what to write' and so on.

They deserve each other like a yin and a yang.

Posted by jeffmcm at May 14, 2007 12:37 PM

comment #20