edited by Jonathan Doyle

Cloverfield [BLU-RAY] (Paramount Home Entertainment, 6.3.2008) Disguised under deliberately goofy, yet deliciously edible-sounding, aliases such as Cheese and Slusho, Matt Reeves' Cloverfield was produced and rushed into theaters under an equally appetizing shroud of secrecy. From last year's incredibly elusive Super Bowl ad to the film's viral marketing campaign, Cloverfield had everybody scratching their heads and drooling in anticipation. Aside from the as-yet untitled title and the Blair Witch-ian visual style, the film's biggest appeal was the enigmatic creature who was last (un)seen hurling the decapitated head of the Statue of Liberty onto the crowded streets of New York City. All we knew about the mysterious beast was that it was big and angry. Now that the highy-anticipated project has come and gone, one question has fortunately been answered: Cloverfield was a major success. (continued)

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Hancock

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The Whackness

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Diminished Capacity

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Full Battle Rattle

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A Man Named Pearl

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Eight Miles High

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Hellboy II: The Golden Army

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A Very British Gangster

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Boy A

No replacable battery?

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Whoa, whoa...the iPhone doesn't have a replacable battery? N.Y. Times "Talking Business " columnist Joe Nocera was jerked awake by the following passage in David Pogue's early-bird review of the device, to wit: "Apple says the [iPhone] battery starts to lose capacity after 300 to 400 charges. Eventually, you'll have to send the phone to Apple for battery replacement, much as you do now with an iPod, for a fee."

"That couldn't be, could it?," the mind-boggled Nocera asks. "Did Apple really expect people to mail their iPhones to Apple HQ and wait for the company to return it with a new battery? It was bad enough that the company did that with the iPod -- but a cellphone? Cellphones have become a critical part of daily life, something we can barely do without for an hour, much less days at a time. Surely, Mr. Jobs realized that.

"Didn't he?

"When you do what I do for a living, this sort of question is usually pretty easy to clear up. You ring up a company spokesman, and get an answer. But at Apple, where according to Silicon Valley lore even the janitors have to sign nondisclosure agreements, there is no such thing as a straightforward answer. There is only spin.

"'Apple will service every battery that needs to be replaced in an environmentally friendly matter,' said Steve Dowling, an Apple spokesman. He went on: 'With up to 8 hours of talk time, 6 hours of Internet use, 7 hours of video playback or 24 hours of audio playback and more than 10 days of standby time, iPhone's battery life is longer than any other smartphone.'

"This response didn't even attempt to answer the question I'd asked him, which was how Apple planned to service its batteries. But never mind. This is another Apple innovation: the robotic spokesman, who says only what he's been programmed to say.

With Apple taking the position that the battery replacement issue was not something it needed to share with reporters -- much less buyers of the iPhone -- I went elsewhere in search of answers. I talked to design experts, battery wonks, technology geeks, and Mr. Mossberg of The Journal, the dean of technology reviewers.

"One thing I wanted to know was why Apple had made a cellphone without a removable battery in the first place; it seemed like such an extreme act of consumer unfriendliness. If the iPod was any guide, batteries were inevitably going to run down. With most cellphones, when the battery has problems, you take it to a store, buy a new battery, let the salesman pop it in, and start using it again. Why wasn't Apple willing to do that?

"It is about assured obsolescence," said Rob Enderle of the Enderle Group, a technology consulting firm. "That is why they don't have a replaceable battery in the iPod. But the problem here is that the iPhone will run out of battery life before the two-year service contract runs out."

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Posted by Jeffrey Wells on June 30, 2007 at 04:30 PM

comment #1

cjKennedy says ...

Nocera is the only person on the planet who is shocked by this...right?

Posted by cjKennedy at June 30, 2007 04:57 PM

comment #2

Geoff says ...

It's not shocking. Technology is great and always evolving and being refined at a fast rate. But, anyone who waited in line to be the first to grab one of these things and didn't expect some type of glitch or problem should be slapped. If anyone was thinking this thing is "too good to be true!!!" Well, they're idiots.

Posted by Geoff at June 30, 2007 05:02 PM

comment #3

p.Vice says ...

Please. In the world of technology development, the iPhone was very likely obsolete by the time it hit shelves yesterday. By the time the battery life runs out, Apple won't need to worry about replacing them -- all the dorks that lined up to buy this piece of shit will be clamoring to buy version 2.0, 3.0, etc.

Posted by p.Vice at June 30, 2007 05:13 PM

comment #4

BurmaShave says ...

Steve Jobs is truly a Bond villian. No doubt these mailbacks will be timed to coincide with NSA software updates.

In all seriousness, this and the price are the achilles heel. He's due for a fall. When he does, he will unleash his iArmy. Only Daniel Craig can save us.

Posted by BurmaShave at June 30, 2007 05:15 PM

comment #5

christian says ...

suckers.

Posted by christian at June 30, 2007 05:58 PM

comment #6

Mgmax says ...

P. Vice is probably right, I have never met anyone who actually replaced the battery in an iPod myself, but in any case-- you want a replaceable battery? Then accept a phone that's another quarter of an inch thick and several ounces heavier. That's what it would take to have a removable case and connectors sturdy enough to withstand you the user popping a battery in and out. The battery isn't glued in because Jobs is a dumbshit, the battery is glued in because it takes every fraction of a millimeter you can shave off to get the whole thing that small.

Posted by Mgmax at June 30, 2007 06:07 PM

comment #7

corey3rd says ...

everytime i'm in an Apple store, there's at least 2 people at the genius bar bitching about their batteries going dead - especially for those who after listening to it at work will bring it home and have it recharge over night even if it hasn't drained.

This is just BS that Apple can't create a battery that can be swapped out like a regular cellphone battery.

Posted by corey3rd at June 30, 2007 06:10 PM

comment #8

EDouglas says ...

What a whiny baby this guy is...that's why you buy *TWO* IPhones. (I won't be buying any as long as they continue to use AT&T or Cingular)

Posted by EDouglas at June 30, 2007 06:12 PM

comment #9

Mgmax says ...

"(I won't be buying any as long as they continue to use AT&T or Cingular)"

That's another thing that it's silly to bitch about. Why was Apple able to make a cellular company change a bunch of stuff about how cellular works so you could, say, look at your voice mails on a screen? By offering them the exclusive to a hot product. That'll be the thin end of the wedge and then other cellular companies will change their networks to become iPhone compatible and in a year or two, voila, iPhones on every cellular network. Exclusivity was the incentive to remake the cell business in Steve's image.

Posted by Mgmax at June 30, 2007 06:19 PM

comment #10

dre says ...

Jesus H...by the time you need to replace the battery (in a few years?) there will be another hot phone (iphone G3?).

Posted by dre at June 30, 2007 06:20 PM

comment #11

Mr. Muckle says ...

Bitch bitch bitch. Jeff Wells and his funky Gateway laptop and all the haters. I read this post at the Apple store checking out the iPhones. I don't need one, won't buy one, but it's pretty damn nice. Best screen going, extremely readable text, if your eyes are good that way. If they make a video iPod with this form factor for half the price, I'm way there.

Posted by Mr. Muckle at June 30, 2007 07:04 PM

comment #12

BurmaShave says ...

Imagine if Don Murphy had made the iPhone.

Posted by BurmaShave at June 30, 2007 07:49 PM

comment #13

Mike Binder says ...

Hey Jeff, too bad, I'm reading this on Mars in my Apple Land Rover. Too bad you didn't get with the program in the early 2000's.

Lots of love,

Live Clean and buy Apple.

Mike

Posted by Mike Binder at June 30, 2007 10:01 PM

comment #14

MickTravis says ...

Yep. It would transform into a comic book character that fuckin' cusses the owner out for being a douchebag. When they least expect it.

I actually think that'd be an improvement.

Posted by MickTravis at June 30, 2007 10:03 PM

comment #15

cjKennedy says ...

If Don Murphy made the iPhone, it would be the SINGLE BIGGEST PHONE OF THE SUMMER.

Posted by cjKennedy at July 1, 2007 01:39 AM

comment #16

vansmith says ...

i have the blackberry, im happy. blackberry plays music but not video, cant see the front screen on webpages but can access sites, text is fine, its not 500 bucks more like 150 from cingular with a two yr deal..mmm what else, its not too light where you'd lose it but not cumbersome at all, breast pocket size..i do miss video but not really, oh it takes great pictures..whats not to like, maybe if iphone is 200 i'll step up..maybe..

Posted by vansmith at July 1, 2007 07:28 AM

comment #17

George Prager says ...

The iPhone is like the pumpkin mask in HALLOWEEN III: SEASON OF THE WITCH.

Posted by George Prager at July 1, 2007 08:31 AM

comment #18

Mgmax says ...

But vansmith, you were cool last year. You're not cool this year.

Take the box. You'll be happy with the box.

Posted by Mgmax at July 1, 2007 08:33 AM

comment #19

Ron Lim says ...

I've replaced a battery on my third generation iPod. Took all of 10 minutes and cost about $24. If you lack the know-how to do it, you're a complete moron. The kit comes with the plastic tool, an instruction book and link to an online video if you really need it. Complaining about replacing the iPod/iPhone battery is like bitching about changing the batteries in your garage door opener.

Posted by Ron Lim at July 1, 2007 11:05 AM

comment #20