edited by Jonathan Doyle

Mafioso (The Criterion Collection, 3.18.2008) Nino Badalamenti is a supervisor in a car manufacturing plant who hasn't taken a vacation in over two years. On his way out the door to visit his beloved childhood hometown of Sicily -- with his blonde wife and daughters -- Nino is handed a package by his boss and asked to deliver it to a powerful and influential Sicilian gangster named Don Vincenzo. Once in Sicily, Nino has a hoot seeing friends and family, but his wife has trouble fitting in and is unfairly dismissed as a snob by Nino's family. Even more worrisome, Nino finds himself entangled in an intricate web of secret mafioso dealings and is eventually sent on an unexpectedly... elaborate errand. (continued)

Upcoming

July 2

Hancock

July 3

The Whackness

July 4

Diminished Capacity

Gonzo: The Life and Work of Hunter S. Thompson

Holding Trevor

Kabluey

We are Together

July 9

Full Battle Rattle

July 11

A Man Named Pearl

August

Eight Miles High

Garden Party

Harold

Hellboy II: The Golden Army

Journey to the Center of the Earth

Meet Dave

Roman Polanski: Wanted and Desired

The Stone Angel

July 18

A Very British Gangster

Before I Forget

The Dark Knight

The Doorman

Felon

Lou Reed's Berlin

Transsiberian

July 22

Two Tickets to Paradise

July 23

Boy A

Old Bronson gate

email this story
read comments (49)
post a comment

Bolted out of a 10 pm screening of Transformers after toughing it out for 90 minutes, and stopped by the hallowed Bronson gate on the way out -- Thursday, 6.28.07, 11:35 pm; Landmark ticket kiosk -- Thursday, 6.28.07, 7:25 pm

Gere, Guns and Bosnia<< previous | next >>Friday numbers

Posted by Jeffrey Wells on June 29, 2007 at 12:59 AM

comment #1

The Winchester says ...

90 minutes. I'm impressed. I would have pegged you out before the hour mark.

Posted by The Winchester at June 29, 2007 01:14 AM

comment #2

BurmaShave says ...

It really drops off after Megatron blows smoke in his wife's face.

Posted by BurmaShave at June 29, 2007 01:18 AM

comment #3

Terry McCarty says ...

So I take it that Bay delivered a film even worse than THE ISLAND....

Posted by Terry McCarty at June 29, 2007 01:21 AM

comment #4

D.Z. says ...

Damnit, the geeks at IMDB already gave it and Suck Hard an 8.5.

Posted by D.Z. at June 29, 2007 01:26 AM

comment #5

BurmaShave says ...

8.5 is absurd, but LIVE FREE OR DIE HARD is pure retarded bliss. The PG-13 really cripples it though.

Posted by BurmaShave at June 29, 2007 01:37 AM

comment #6

Doug says ...

I wonder about the complaints that "Live Free or Die Hard" is rated PG-13. If the first three "Die Hards" were released today, isn't there a good chance they would be rated PG-13 without any trims?

Posted by Doug at June 29, 2007 03:27 AM

comment #7

Fred Mounts says ...

Maybe I'm being naive, but perhaps Fox knows of this kind of behavior, and doesn't invite you to screenings because of it (and yes, I'm aware that this particular screening was Paramount). Maybe leaving is par for the course in the industry, but if it were me, I'd only invite people who might actually stay for the entire movie, crappy or not.

Posted by Fred Mounts at June 29, 2007 04:08 AM

comment #8

Fred Mounts says ...

Posted by Fred Mounts at June 29, 2007 04:09 AM

comment #9

Fred Mounts says ...

Posted by Fred Mounts at June 29, 2007 04:10 AM

comment #10

Fred Mounts says ...

Damn. I kept getting error messages, so I didn't think that I was actually posting. I'm really not as retarded as I appear.

Posted by Fred Mounts at June 29, 2007 04:12 AM

comment #11

J. Huff says ...

Doug, the first three Die Hard movies used an incredible amount of profanity. Some of the violence probably wouldn't pass either (primarily for blood than for any grotesque images per se).

Posted by J. Huff at June 29, 2007 04:15 AM

comment #12

EDouglas says ...

Personally, I liked The Island better. It was an original idea/movie and I think there's going to be a real age divide on this one. If you're over 40, you probably were into girls and/or drugs when the Trannsformers came out and not going to have the same love of the robot characters as the 15 to 30 crowd. I thought the movie was fine until it started showing the robots (one of them who looks like the robot from Short Circuit!) and they started talking and then I was gone.

Posted by EDouglas at June 29, 2007 04:19 AM

comment #13

D.Z. says ...

EDouglas: "It was an original idea/movie"

Actually, it ripped off Clonus.

"If you're over 40, you probably were into girls and/or drugs when the Trannsformers came out and not going to have the same love of the robot characters as the 15 to 30 crowd."

Actually, my generation thinks it blows, too.

Posted by D.Z. at June 29, 2007 04:44 AM

comment #14

Josh Massey says ...

The Island is a modern classic compared to Transformers. Just an awful, awful movie.

Posted by Josh Massey at June 29, 2007 05:28 AM

comment #15

Mgmax says ...

But is it awful, and Jeff did you walk out because, A) the human stuff waiting for the robots to start kicking ass was too annoying, or B) the robots kicking ass was stupid and brain-cell-destroying? Or both?

Posted by Mgmax at June 29, 2007 06:14 AM

comment #16

Buzz Fledderjohn says ...

I refuse to see it on principle, not because I dislike Michael Bay movies, but because I can't see myself being thrilled watching giant Lego blocks destroy the world. If you're over 12 and excited about this...I don't know, something's off.

Posted by Buzz Fledderjohn at June 29, 2007 07:02 AM

comment #17

corey3rd says ...

it's longer than 90 minutes?

Posted by corey3rd at June 29, 2007 07:04 AM

comment #18

Rich S. says ...

Enough of this nonsense. Answer the most important question from the movie: how does the new Camaro look?

Posted by Rich S. at June 29, 2007 07:25 AM

comment #19

PanTheFaun says ...

I bought my tickets for this Monday night at Lincoln Square and was told by the box office worker the running time with trailers will be 2 hours 40 minutes. I'm sorry, is that not a bit too long for "Rock Em Sock Em Robots: The Movie"?

Posted by PanTheFaun at June 29, 2007 08:04 AM

comment #20

Don Murphy says ...

Not too funny how you must've been excluded from the real press screening at 7... behavior like leaving a film that you will likely review before it is over does that I guess.

Posted by Don Murphy at June 29, 2007 08:25 AM

comment #21

T.Holly says ...

He was busy at Landmark at 7. I'll kiss the gate this morn.

Posted by T.Holly at June 29, 2007 08:32 AM

comment #22

Wrecktum says ...

Love the Bronson gate. Great pic.

Posted by Wrecktum at June 29, 2007 08:53 AM

comment #23

christian says ...

my favorite entrance in hollywood.

Posted by christian at June 29, 2007 08:56 AM

comment #24

Ron Lim says ...

Jeff is no true critic... at least not if you walked out in the middle of a flick. Once you've done that, you've relinquished all rights to criticize.

I hated the remake of Godzilla. Despised it with the heat of a thousand suns... but I toughed it out and felt 100% guilt free in trashing it in an online review.

Posted by Ron Lim at June 29, 2007 09:16 AM

comment #25

nemo says ...

I've been seeing pictures of that wonderful gate since I was a kid. You got me wondering why it's called the Bronson Gate.

Undoubtedly all you Los Angeles people already know that it's located on Bronson Street. According to Charles Bronson's Wikipedia entry, he decided Buchinsky was too Slavic-sounding in the McCarthy era, so he took his new last name from Paramount's Bronson Gate.

It also says that Bronson and Jack Klugman were roommates when they were starving young actors, and Klugman later said that Bronson was very good at ironing clothes. Who would have guessed that Charles Bronson was an early model for neat freak Felix Unger?

Posted by nemo at June 29, 2007 09:17 AM

comment #26

Mgmax says ...

Are the other streets named for stars? If so, then it's undoubtedly for Betty Bronson, star of Paramount's Peter Pan (1924).

"Jeff is no true critic... at least not if you walked out in the middle of a flick. Once you've done that, you've relinquished all rights to criticize."

Walking out IS a valid act of criticism. I think you need to disclose it, but I don't remotely feel that "enough of this shit" is an invalid or unprofessional critical response.

Posted by Mgmax at June 29, 2007 09:30 AM

comment #27

Michelle says ...

We saw a screening for Transformers last night here in St. Louis and thought it was great...Rotten Tomatoes has it tracking at 100%.....The camaro looked amazing as did the whole movie....With the huge marketing blitz done by Paramount/Dreamworks/Hasbro, it will undoubtedly have a huge opening weekend!

Posted by Michelle at June 29, 2007 10:13 AM

comment #28

Ogami Itto says ...

"I thought the movie was fine until it started showing the robots (one of them who looks like the robot from Short Circuit!)"

Hey, Johnny 5 has bills to pay, too. Cut the 'bot some slack.

Wells, when you walk out of a movie do you curse loudly on your way out like what's-his-name (Jeffrey Lyons?) did during Kevin Smith's Clerks 2 screening?

Posted by Ogami Itto at June 29, 2007 10:15 AM

comment #29

Jesse Perry says ...

Joel Siegel.

Posted by Jesse Perry at June 29, 2007 10:20 AM

comment #30

Michelle says ...

I forgot to add the teaser for the JJ Abrams movie....Cloverfield....It was a very cool teaser/trailer and the only thing they showed before the movie. It end with 'produced by JJ Abrams - opens 1-18-2008.' Has anyone else seen it?

Posted by Michelle at June 29, 2007 10:24 AM

comment #31

Edward Havens says ...

Does Jeff consider himself a critic or a commentator? If he's the latter, then he has every right to walk out of the film at his choice, as long as he doesn't critique the movie. If he's the former, he should have kept his ass in his seat no matter how God-awful he thought it was.

I know this can be tough. I once went to a screening of Chelsea Walls at the DGA Theatre in New York. Packed house when the movie started, only six of us left by the time the end credits began rolling. I stayed because I was an invited critic, and it was my responsibility to stay throughout the entire thing, even if the people who came with me left before the end of the second reel.

Posted by Edward Havens at June 29, 2007 10:24 AM

comment #32

Adviltablet says ...

I wanted to leave this flick when the robots try to hide from Lebouf's parents. I'm amazed Jeff lasted 90 minutes. The flick plays like a greatest hits of previous Michael Bay flicks. Shit blows up real good, that's about it. Overlong by a 1/2 hour and Shia is the star of tomorrow. Indiana Jones is in good hands.

Posted by Adviltablet at June 29, 2007 10:32 AM

comment #33

nemo says ...

"If he's the former [a critic], he should have kept his ass in his seat no matter how God-awful he thought it was."

Sounds like self-torture. Does it count if you bring along a flashlight, a checkbook, and some bills so you can get some work done while you're sitting it out to the bitter end?

Wait, that wouldn't work for me, I pay all my bills online. I am so glad I am not a critic. There are so many movies I'm glad I don't even have to leave the house for, much less sit all the way through to the mind- and butt-numbing end.

Posted by nemo at June 29, 2007 10:40 AM

comment #34

Mgmax says ...

Hey, you may have to sit through all of it but at least you don't have to also be serving in the Robot Corps to watch it, like you had to be a Greek soldier to watch 300.

Posted by Mgmax at June 29, 2007 10:54 AM

comment #35

Midwest Doug says ...

I think Jeff bagged it when he saw Starscream's bare feet. Or was it because Optimus was looking a little jowly?

Posted by Midwest Doug at June 29, 2007 11:04 AM

comment #36

The Winchester says ...

Has anyone seen that SImpsons episode where they go to Branson MO, but Homer takes the wrong bus and winds up in Bronson, MO, where every man woman and child looks and sounds like Charles Bronson? It's a genius joke. My point is, where is the Charles Bronson of today?

Posted by The Winchester at June 29, 2007 11:25 AM

comment #37

christian says ...

"an ancient race."

Posted by christian at June 29, 2007 11:31 AM

comment #38

actionman says ...

if Wells walked out at the 90 minute mark, that means he missed all the action stuff at the end. what the hell is wrong with u jeff? now ANY sort of "review" you write about Transformers is meaningless. Walking out of a movie, no matter how bad you think it is, is fucking retarded.

Posted by actionman at June 29, 2007 11:32 AM

comment #39

D.Z. says ...

Ron: "Jeff is no true critic... at least not if you walked out in the middle of a flick. Once you've done that, you've relinquished all rights to criticize."

Please. If it doesn't get better by then, it probably will never get better.

"I hated the remake of Godzilla. Despised it with the heat of a thousand suns... but I toughed it out and felt 100% guilt free in trashing it in an online review."

Do you actually need to sit through it to know it sucks? Wasn't the trailer enough?

Michelle: "We saw a screening for Transformers last night here in St. Louis and thought it was great...Rotten Tomatoes has it tracking at 100%.....The camaro looked amazing as did the whole movie....With the huge marketing blitz done by Paramount/Dreamworks/Hasbro, it will undoubtedly have a huge opening weekend!"

HE isn't like AICN in that we don't tolerate plants.

Posted by D.Z. at June 29, 2007 11:58 AM

comment #40

Rich S. says ...

"We?" You guys are right. D.Z. is Jeffrey Wells.

Posted by Rich S. at June 29, 2007 12:02 PM

comment #41

Michelle says ...

sorry, no plant here....unless you consider St. Louis, MO on someone's payroll...We saw it last night at the Tivoli Theatre and we liked it...that's all

Posted by Michelle at June 29, 2007 12:12 PM

comment #42

George Prager says ...

We saw a screening for Wacky Packages last night here in St. Louis and thought it was great...Rotten Tomatoes has it tracking at 100%.....The Liptorn Molten Lava Soup looked amazing as did the whole movie....With the huge marketing blitz done by Paramount/Dreamworks/Topps, it will undoubtedly have a huge opening weekend!

Posted by George Prager at June 29, 2007 12:33 PM

comment #43

Ogami Itto says ...

""We?" You guys are right. D.Z. is Jeffrey Wells."

It could be a Dr. Jekyll/Mr. Hyde situation; maybe Wells isn't even aware of his nefarious alter ego.

Posted by Ogami Itto at June 29, 2007 01:21 PM

comment #44

Bocephus says ...

"I think Jeff bagged it when he saw Starscream's bare feet. Or was it because Optimus was looking a little jowly?"

I think it was Ironhide's backfat.

To Winchester: I remember laughing for a good 10 minutes when the little Bronson girl's ice cream cone fell to the ground and she said "this..aint..ovuh" in a perfect Chuck Bronson voice.

Posted by Bocephus at June 29, 2007 01:27 PM

comment #45

cjKennedy says ...

Michelle, don't try to argue or rationalize with DZ. You will just be driven to madness. Trust me. I've been there. Sleep well at night knowing that people only pay attention to him so they can argue with him.

Posted by cjKennedy at June 29, 2007 01:37 PM

comment #46

cjKennedy says ...

And Bocephus, not that you needed further testimony as to the brilliance of the Bronson episode, I'm laughing about it right now just at your retelling of that scene.

I can picture the writers writing it and laughing.

That's comedy right there.

Posted by cjKennedy at June 29, 2007 01:39 PM

comment #47

nemo says ...

Just the name the Bronson Gate brings to mind a time-space portal to Bronson, MO. Sort of like the Hellmouth in Buffy, or the Star Gate in "2001: A Space Odyssey", or even in Kurt Russell's "Stargate".

That domestic scene of Klugman and Bronson as roommates, with Bronson ironing shirts, also got me picturing an alternative bizarro universe in which Bronson played Felix Unger all those years, while Tony Randall played all those Bronson tough guys.

Posted by nemo at June 29, 2007 02:13 PM

comment #48

cjKennedy says ...

Oscar leaves cigar ashes around after a poker game and Felix beats him to death with a sock full of quarters...

Posted by cjKennedy at June 29, 2007 02:43 PM

comment #49

david says ...

Hollywood Elsewhere

Upcoming

Old Bronson gate

The Winchester says ...

BurmaShave says ...

Terry McCarty says ...

D.Z. says ...

BurmaShave says ...

Doug says ...

Fred Mounts says ...

Fred Mounts says ...

Fred Mounts says ...

Fred Mounts says ...

J. Huff says ...

EDouglas says ...

D.Z. says ...

Josh Massey says ...

Mgmax says ...

Buzz Fledderjohn says ...

corey3rd says ...

Rich S. says ...

PanTheFaun says ...

Don Murphy says ...

T.Holly says ...

Wrecktum says ...

christian says ...

Ron Lim says ...

nemo says ...

Mgmax says ...

Michelle says ...

Ogami Itto says ...

Jesse Perry says ...

Michelle says ...

Edward Havens says ...

Adviltablet says ...

nemo says ...

Mgmax says ...

Midwest Doug says ...

The Winchester says ...

christian says ...

actionman says ...

D.Z. says ...

Rich S. says ...

Michelle says ...

George Prager says ...

Ogami Itto says ...

Bocephus says ...

cjKennedy says ...

cjKennedy says ...

nemo says ...

cjKennedy says ...

david says ...