Discland
edited by Jonathan Doyle
Cloverfield [BLU-RAY] (Paramount Home Entertainment, 6.3.2008) Disguised under deliberately goofy, yet deliciously edible-sounding, aliases such as Cheese and Slusho, Matt Reeves' Cloverfield was produced and rushed into theaters under an equally appetizing shroud of secrecy. From last year's incredibly elusive Super Bowl ad to the film's viral marketing campaign, Cloverfield had everybody scratching their heads and drooling in anticipation. Aside from the as-yet untitled title and the Blair Witch-ian visual style, the film's biggest appeal was the enigmatic creature who was last (un)seen hurling the decapitated head of the Statue of Liberty onto the crowded streets of New York City. All we knew about the mysterious beast was that it was big and angry. Now that the highy-anticipated project has come and gone, one question has fortunately been answered: Cloverfield was a major success. (continued)

Upcoming


July 2

Hancock

July 3

The Whackness

July 4

Diminished Capacity

Gonzo: The Life and Work of Hunter S. Thompson

Holding Trevor

Kabluey

We are Together

July 9

Full Battle Rattle

July 11

A Man Named Pearl

August

Eight Miles High

Garden Party

Harold

Hellboy II: The Golden Army

Journey to the Center of the Earth

Meet Dave

Roman Polanski: Wanted and Desired

The Stone Angel

July 18

A Very British Gangster

Before I Forget

The Dark Knight

The Doorman

Felon

Lou Reed's Berlin

Mad Detective

Mamma Mia!

Space Chimps

Take

Transsiberian

July 22

Two Tickets to Paradise

July 23

Boy A




 

"Jesse James" tussle

A major disagreement is shaping up over The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford (Warner Bros., 9.21), and it'll break wide open next Tuesday morning (9.4), which is when the trades and certain web columnists will be running their reviews. (Me included.) I'm a friend of this film -- a big one. Two journalists I've spoken to this morning (one of them being CHUD's Devin Faraci) feel the same way. But I've also heard that a certain guy hates it. This strikes me as somewhere between deranged and blasphemous by the standards of the Church of the Good Movie Lover. (A friend who attended last Tuesday night's screening says this guy seemed to be in a state of discomfort as Jesse James unspooled, looking around every so often and eyeballing other viewers as if to say "you're actually absorbed in this thing?") Father, forgive anyone who trashes this film without reservation or qualification. Because I won't.

Posted by Jeffrey Wells on August 30, 2007 at 01:22 PM

comment #1

actionman [TypeKey Profile Page] says ...

This film is a masterpiece. Any serious film lover who disagrees is delusional. I could only hope for one or two movies like this one to come out every year.

Posted by actionman [TypeKey Profile Page] at August 30, 2007 02:37 PM

comment #2

PerfectTommy [TypeKey Profile Page] says ...

They have bad things to say about this film at moralmovies.blogspot.com -which is always a good thing.

Posted by PerfectTommy [TypeKey Profile Page] at August 30, 2007 02:42 PM

comment #3

Rothchild [TypeKey Profile Page] says ...

Like everyone else is saying, the film is a masterpiece. There's no way around it.

Posted by Rothchild [TypeKey Profile Page] at August 30, 2007 02:44 PM

comment #4

Mike Schaefer [TypeKey Profile Page] says ...

PerfectTommy: I just checked out moralmovies.blogspot.com for the first time. Is that for real? It sure reads like they're doing a parody of Christian Movie Criticism. "Sweeney Todd" might cause people to become cannibals? ROTFL!

Posted by Mike Schaefer [TypeKey Profile Page] at August 30, 2007 02:46 PM

comment #5

alynch [TypeKey Profile Page] says ...

Oh please let it be Poland who hates it. Few things are more fun than a good old fashioned Poland-bashing.

Posted by alynch [TypeKey Profile Page] at August 30, 2007 02:47 PM

comment #6

Ishmael [TypeKey Profile Page] says ...

We obviously can't trust any positive reviews this film might get from American critics. That goes without saying. Negative ones are probably objective, though.

That's how it works, right?

Posted by Ishmael [TypeKey Profile Page] at August 30, 2007 02:47 PM

comment #7

gruver1 [TypeKey Profile Page] says ...

Wells to Ishmael: I'll try this one final time. If there's an emotional susceptibility or some kind of detectable vested interest on the part of a critic, you can't trust the review 100%.

Posted by gruver1 [TypeKey Profile Page] at August 30, 2007 02:52 PM

comment #8

J. Huff [TypeKey Profile Page] says ...

moralmovies.blogspot.com - Now that is truly worthwhile. As a Christian with a sense of humor -- which probably puts me right up there with overweight Hispanics on this website -- this is brilliant. Dismiss it all!

Jesse James looks great...I'm wondering which pauper thinks the emperor has no clothes...

Posted by J. Huff [TypeKey Profile Page] at August 30, 2007 02:54 PM

comment #9

MiraJeffAICN [TypeKey Profile Page] says ...

Saw it last night with Jeff. It was very good. Not great. Certainly not a masterpiece. Looked gorgeous. I'd dare say Deakins wins an Oscar for his cinematography. Pitt was very good, Casey was great, but I don't see a nomination for either of them unless WB can get the Academy to buy Casey as a supporting actor, even though it's very much his movie. Thing's too long. No other way around it. Needed a good 15-20 mins shaved. Score is fantastic, no surprise since it was Nick Cave. Drags a bit in the middle. And I'd also venture to say that this is not a western. It's set in the West but thematically it's very different than most Westerns. I'll review it in the next couple weeks, got lots else to get to...

Posted by MiraJeffAICN [TypeKey Profile Page] at August 30, 2007 02:54 PM

comment #10

Rothchild [TypeKey Profile Page] says ...

What would you have cut out? I can't think of a frame.

Posted by Rothchild [TypeKey Profile Page] at August 30, 2007 02:59 PM

comment #11

jeffmcm [TypeKey Profile Page] says ...

"A certain guy?" It could only be either Poland, or maybe Roger Ebert. Nobody else would matter.

Posted by jeffmcm [TypeKey Profile Page] at August 30, 2007 03:05 PM

comment #12

Brian [TypeKey Profile Page] says ...

It could only be either Poland, or maybe Roger Ebert. Nobody else would matter.

Gotta be Poland if it's one of those two. Ebert's review won't show up until the movie opens, so he'd have no role in a fight breaking out next Tuesday.

Posted by Brian [TypeKey Profile Page] at August 30, 2007 03:15 PM

comment #13

Devin Faraci [TypeKey Profile Page] says ...

Jesus, MiraJeff.

Posted by Devin Faraci [TypeKey Profile Page] at August 30, 2007 03:23 PM

comment #14

MiraJeffAICN [TypeKey Profile Page] says ...

Jesus what, Devin. The movie was very good. Maybe it was great. But it was no masterpiece, come on... you can't ignore the fact that it dragged a bit in the middle (when Casey is offscreen for a period long enough for me to have noticed it and write it down in my notes) I thought most of it really worked but there was some unnecessary drama in there with the Jim Cummings stuff... they played it up like Paul Schneider would be a major character and then he gets lost in the second half, so the stuff I'd cut out, Rothchild, besides a few seconds here and there to tighten it up, would've been some of the comedic moments at the beginning- all well written but I feel like the story drifted a little away from Casey and over to the Dick Liddel and Wood characters... I just don't see it as a Best Picture nominee. It didn't have that one scene that made me sit up and go WOW! Elah, despite its problems, had that scene. Casey Affleck was pretty damn good though. He really changes throughout the movie, as a character should when they have 2 hrs and 45 mins to develop...

Posted by MiraJeffAICN [TypeKey Profile Page] at August 30, 2007 03:34 PM

comment #15

MilkMan [TypeKey Profile Page] says ...

Stop pimping yourself, MiraJeffAICN. It's tacky. If you have something to say, the say it, but keep the self-promotional stuff to yourself. I don't come to this site so that I can find out what's going on with your career. I come to this site to make stupid fucking comments, read what JEFF has to say, and read what other people have to say vis a vis what Jeff writes and what other people write in the comments section. Hasn't that facile, remedial sit you write for gotten enough attention already?

Posted by MilkMan [TypeKey Profile Page] at August 30, 2007 03:39 PM

comment #16

Noah [TypeKey Profile Page] says ...

So, MiraJeff, basically it doesn't matter if a film is good the whole way through, it needs to have a WOW scene? And just because Elah has one great scene, that makes it a great movie?

Posted by Noah [TypeKey Profile Page] at August 30, 2007 03:40 PM

comment #17

MilkMan [TypeKey Profile Page] says ...

And fuck my typos; you get the point. If Jeff wants to link to you that's his business. Just don't link to yourself, you solipsistic nit.

Posted by MilkMan [TypeKey Profile Page] at August 30, 2007 03:41 PM

comment #18

jeffmcm [TypeKey Profile Page] says ...

Where is Mirajeff linking to himself or pimping something?

Posted by jeffmcm [TypeKey Profile Page] at August 30, 2007 03:42 PM

comment #19

Rothchild [TypeKey Profile Page] says ...

Okay, MiraJeff. You're right. It's not a masterpiece because you wrote:

"Casey Affleck not in movie right now confused"

in your notes? And no "wow" scenes? I'll try not to spoil anything. In no particular order:

1) The opening train scene
2) _______'s death
3) _______'s death
4) _______'s death
5) _______'s death
6) The "crying into the saddle" scene
7) The stars
8) The opening ten minutes
9) The midnight confession
10) The snake

Actually, I could do that all day. I'll just say it's a "wow movie."

Posted by Rothchild [TypeKey Profile Page] at August 30, 2007 03:48 PM

comment #20

jimjonesiii [TypeKey Profile Page] says ...

It needed more jokes. And cyberninjas.

Posted by jimjonesiii [TypeKey Profile Page] at August 30, 2007 03:51 PM

comment #21

Geoff [TypeKey Profile Page] says ...

A "wow" scene. So where's the wow scene in Days of Heaven? Why can't the whole movie be one big wow?

One thing is for sure, I really have to see this movie.

Posted by Geoff [TypeKey Profile Page] at August 30, 2007 03:53 PM

comment #22

abraham [TypeKey Profile Page] says ...

The Assassination of Jesse Kames is nothing short of brilliant!
P.S. Regarding film critics that may not like it...well...film critics do NOT vote for awards, so their opinion is rather irrelevant.

Posted by abraham [TypeKey Profile Page] at August 30, 2007 03:57 PM

comment #23

abraham [TypeKey Profile Page] says ...

The Assassination of Jesse James is nothing short of brilliant!
P.S. Regarding film critics that may not like it...well...film critics do NOT vote for awards, so their opinion is rather irrelevant.

Posted by abraham [TypeKey Profile Page] at August 30, 2007 03:57 PM

comment #24

T. Holly [TypeKey Profile Page] says ...

I'm a friend of a film, that's the saddest thing I've ever heard.

Posted by T. Holly [TypeKey Profile Page] at August 30, 2007 04:01 PM

comment #25

storymark [TypeKey Profile Page] says ...

Damn. MirraJeff dares say why he didn't think it was a masterpiece (but still said it was great), only after being asked to elaborate, and the knives come out.

Must evey movie be reduced to "masterpiece" or "poece of shit?"

he's the one from AICN, and ya'll are acting like a bunch of "talkbackers".

Posted by storymark [TypeKey Profile Page] at August 30, 2007 04:04 PM

comment #26

actionman [TypeKey Profile Page] says ...

it's only sad if you're a douche with no passion for film. I may not agree with Wells all the time but the man has a passion, one I share as well.

Posted by actionman [TypeKey Profile Page] at August 30, 2007 04:04 PM

comment #27

MiraJeffAICN [TypeKey Profile Page] says ...

Milkman, what the hell are you talking about? Pimping myself? Because I posted my thoughts on the film and said if you want to read more, check AICN in a couple weeks? I suppose that's some form of self-promotion but you've surely gotta be kidding me, right? Is this not a forum to discuss movies? If you don't want to read what else I have to say about the movie, or understand what I've already written in the context of the film, then don't read my full review on AICN. And yes, Noah, a movie needs to WOW me to be considered great. There were a bunch of good scenes, especially the train robbery and the opening and closing 10 minutes, but there was nothing that really got to me on an emotional level. It's a cold film. Dominik tries to inject some emotion at the end with Mary-Louise Parker but because she's barely in the movie up until that point, I wasn't completely sold on it. Rothchild, masterpiece is a word I reserve for actual masterpieces, not Brad Pitt movies (as much as I like the guy), and MilkMan, you're just an idiot whose comments are completely unfounded and unwarranted. Next time you offer up an opinion I'll be sure to tell you to stop promoting yourself you solipsistic nit, whatever the hell that means. Are you British by any chance, because no self-respecting heterosexual American male would ever call another dude that. Yikes, you guys are embarassing yourself over a very good movie that one guy (me) just didn't think was that great. Relax. Everyone's so quick to start name-calling on these boards. You don't see Ebert and Roeper calling each other "nits" when they disagree, do you? I bet MilkMan hasn't even seen the movie...

Posted by MiraJeffAICN [TypeKey Profile Page] at August 30, 2007 04:04 PM

comment #28

MiraJeffAICN [TypeKey Profile Page] says ...

And Abraham, so now awards equals relevancy? So I guess the next time I offer up Crash's Best Picture as proof that THAT is a masterpiece, it will be the end of the discussion in your mind? And Actionman, you make a VERY good point. People are so quick to say 'masterpiece' or 'shit'. A film can achieve varying degrees of success. If you stripped away all the fat from Jesse James, it would probably be a masterpiece. At it's heart, the film is about jealousy, betrayal, the desire to be remembered, and one man's fascination with another man. I just felt like there were some additional sequences that were unnecessary because they didn't move the story of Ford forward. Like I said, pacing issues and a little bit too much Paul Schneider and Jeremy Renner are my only gripes with the film. You say one bad word about Jesse James and his cinephile posse jumps all over you. Yeesh.

Posted by MiraJeffAICN [TypeKey Profile Page] at August 30, 2007 04:12 PM

comment #29

MilkMan [TypeKey Profile Page] says ...

See, it's all about you, MiraJeff. "I'll review it in the next couple of weeks..." Who cares? And yes, I do happen to have been born and raised in Cornwall, where the word solipsistic isn't met with your type of righteous ignorance. Get this: I don't want to read your "full review" on AICN, and more importantly, I don't want to be reminded that you do write for AICN. That's the point. I'd like to read Jeff's full review, which is why I come here. And I could care less whether or not you didn't think the movie was that great. You may be right. What I care about is you coming on someone else's sight and pointing everyone in your direction. And the next time I promote myself will be the first, because I have nothing to promote. I'm a garden-variety working class slob. By the way, since you don't know what a nit is, I have to ask: Do you know what a twat is?

Posted by MilkMan [TypeKey Profile Page] at August 30, 2007 04:14 PM

comment #30

jeffmcm [TypeKey Profile Page] says ...

Milkman, Mirajeff saying "my review will be up later" is really a minor thing to get so upset about.

Posted by jeffmcm [TypeKey Profile Page] at August 30, 2007 04:23 PM

comment #31

MilkMan [TypeKey Profile Page] says ...

Are MiraJeff and jeffmcm the same person?

Posted by MilkMan [TypeKey Profile Page] at August 30, 2007 04:26 PM

comment #32

T. Holly [TypeKey Profile Page] says ...

I know what a twat is.

My life would be complete if I could just have someone like actionman to call me a douche every day.

MilkMan was most rational, but should save his thunder. You can't really be a lover of film unless you can listen to reason.

Posted by T. Holly [TypeKey Profile Page] at August 30, 2007 04:29 PM

comment #33

MiraJeffAICN [TypeKey Profile Page] says ...

No, he's my clone, MilkMan... are you trying to be funny or are you more retarded than Lauren Caitlin Upton?

Posted by MiraJeffAICN [TypeKey Profile Page] at August 30, 2007 04:29 PM

comment #34

actionman [TypeKey Profile Page] says ...

hey douche...."someone like actionman"....what do you mean twat?

Posted by actionman [TypeKey Profile Page] at August 30, 2007 04:38 PM

comment #35

actionman [TypeKey Profile Page] says ...

i am laughing so fucking hard right now at my desk

Posted by actionman [TypeKey Profile Page] at August 30, 2007 04:39 PM

comment #36

MilkMan [TypeKey Profile Page] says ...

I prefer to be referred to as "special needs," MJA. And nice Lauren Upton reference. Way to stay topical.

Posted by MilkMan [TypeKey Profile Page] at August 30, 2007 04:39 PM

comment #37

T. Holly [TypeKey Profile Page] says ...

I am a complete actionman, I meant MiraJeff was most rational, but should save his thunder. You can't be a... you know the rest.

Sorry MilkMan, I still think about you spraying your shorts, but I can't always be on your side. I think I'm supposed to respond to the Wall Street/Godfather post above. Anyone have any ideas?

Posted by T. Holly [TypeKey Profile Page] at August 30, 2007 04:54 PM

comment #38

frankbooth [TypeKey Profile Page] says ...

No on would jump on you, Mirajeff, if you quit posting. Easy solution, everybody wins.

I WAS looking forward to this. I thought Chopper was great, I like offbeat westerns like The Proposition, and the involvement of Mr. Cave is a plus. But it sounds slow and confusing and lacking in giant robot action, so now I'm not so sure.

Posted by frankbooth [TypeKey Profile Page] at August 30, 2007 04:56 PM

comment #39

wayne76 [TypeKey Profile Page] says ...

I love a good old fashioned nerd fight. You're either fighting over what degree you liked the movie, or fighting for a movie you've not seen. I have as much passion for film as the next guy, but seriously, guys, get girlfriends.

Posted by wayne76 [TypeKey Profile Page] at August 30, 2007 05:04 PM

comment #40

MiraJeffAICN [TypeKey Profile Page] says ...

Frank, don't get me wrong, you should still definitely be looking forward to it. Just don't go in expecting a 'masterpiece' and you'll appreciate it just fine.

Posted by MiraJeffAICN [TypeKey Profile Page] at August 30, 2007 05:10 PM

comment #41

lazarus [TypeKey Profile Page] says ...

Funny thing here is that MiraJeff was subtlely self-promoting, and then, when he's called on it (maybe too enthusiastically by MilkMan, but whatever), proceeds to namedrop AICN twice in his next post, as if to say "here's how you self-promote, buddy!"

Here's the text:

"Because I posted my thoughts on the film and said if you want to read more, check AICN in a couple weeks? I suppose that's some form of self-promotion but you've surely gotta be kidding me, right? Is this not a forum to discuss movies? If you don't want to read what else I have to say about the movie, or understand what I've already written in the context of the film, then don't read my full review on AICN. "

I love the redundancy of repeating that your full review will be on AICN, in case we didn't get that from earlier in that post, your previous posts, MIlkMan's previous posts, or your FUCKING USER NAME.

For the record, you never see Tapley doing that either here or on The Hot Blog.

Posted by lazarus [TypeKey Profile Page] at August 30, 2007 05:45 PM

comment #42

christian [TypeKey Profile Page] says ...

lighten up, francis milkman. mirajeff is from aicn. we know. big d. i come here to read all comments regardless of origin. and hopefully a respite from the "douche" school of geek insult.

Posted by christian [TypeKey Profile Page] at August 30, 2007 05:56 PM

comment #43

Jay T. [TypeKey Profile Page] says ...

The trailer sure makes it look fantastic... the type of film a lot of film buffs will adore and many in the mainstream who will go for Brad Pitt will hate (which is good, screw those people).

Posted by Jay T. [TypeKey Profile Page] at August 30, 2007 06:01 PM

comment #44

DarthCorleone [TypeKey Profile Page] says ...

The comments section on this site is really devolving lately in the level of discourse. I'm amused by y'all's shenanigans. It makes me want to arrange a meeting for everyone at some local LA pub and watch the sparks fly.

Posted by DarthCorleone [TypeKey Profile Page] at August 30, 2007 06:01 PM

comment #45

Nick A. [TypeKey Profile Page] says ...

The trailer looks amazing. And if both Wells and Devin love it, I'm there opening night.

Posted by Nick A. [TypeKey Profile Page] at August 30, 2007 06:11 PM

comment #46

MiraJeffAICN [TypeKey Profile Page] says ...

Hey Lazarus, didja hear? My Jesse James review is going to be up on AICN in 2 weeks!! Mark it on your calendar... douchebag. Go chain yourself up to a radiator and quit your bitching.

Posted by MiraJeffAICN [TypeKey Profile Page] at August 30, 2007 06:22 PM

comment #47

christian [TypeKey Profile Page] says ...

if this was the old west y'all would be collecting flies in the street.

Posted by christian [TypeKey Profile Page] at August 30, 2007 06:32 PM

comment #48

lazarus [TypeKey Profile Page] says ...

Is that how they punish you over at Harry's house?

Judging from what you've said about other films in the past, your taste is pretty suspect, and I imagine there are others who have noticed this.

Forgive me if I forgo your full review and check out Jesse James without your cautionary words.

Posted by lazarus [TypeKey Profile Page] at August 30, 2007 06:37 PM

comment #49

Aunt Sassy [TypeKey Profile Page] says ...

"Wells to Ishmael: I'll try this one final time. If there's an emotional susceptibility or some kind of detectable vested interest on the part of a critic, you can't trust the review 100%."

So, by Jeffrey's own admission, all of his reviews are suspect.

P.S. I'm blowing MiraJeff tonight in a bathroom. You can read my review of it on this site tomorrow. It's only a blow job, so there won't be some kind of detectable vested interest on the part of this critic.

Posted by Aunt Sassy [TypeKey Profile Page] at August 30, 2007 06:51 PM

comment #50

Devin Faraci [TypeKey Profile Page] says ...

Here's the thing: I think that saying 'You could make it shorter' is the worst, laziest criticism of this movie possible. Yes, I could EASILY go through and shave thirty minutes off this movie while retaining the narrative, but I would kill the movie. This is a film that lives in long takes and languid pacing. Casey Affleck does amazing work in thee long shots that linger on his face, and while you could trim those, you'd lose the magic that Dominik has accomplished.

Yes, movies can be too long, but they can also be too short. This is a film that needs room to breathe, and it's paced perfectly for that. Is it a masterpiece? I don't know - it's too easy to throw a word like that around and regret it in a couple of years, but it is a serious accomplishment. It's a film that, if not actually capital G Great, is certainly in the same zip code.

Posted by Devin Faraci [TypeKey Profile Page] at August 30, 2007 07:51 PM

comment #51

MiraJeffAICN [TypeKey Profile Page] says ...

Devin, I totally understand what you're saying. Eastern Promises for example, was too short. And I loved some of the lingering close-ups of Casey. I loved how drenched in mood and atmosphere the film was. I wasn't suggesting that the problem with the film is that Dominik doesn't know when to cut and move on. There is magic up on that screen. What I was trying to say is that parts of the story seem shoehorned in, or just aren't all that necessary to begin with, particularly the early focus on Dick Liddel, Renner's Wood character and the Jim Cummings talk. Believe me, I know it's lazy to say too long, too short, too whatever. But there's no way you can tell me this movie is the perfect length, because it isn't. It wouldn't kill the film if it was 10 minutes shorter. I bet you wouldn't even notice what went missing. If you could EASILY shave off 30 mins, then would it really kill you to cut 10 mins, and yes, those 10 mins DO make a difference because once the audience starts getting restless you've lost them. Now the movie didn't lose me, but I have more patience than the average filmgoer. A movie's running time doesn't scare me off, personally, but it is a major detriment to others, especially folks older than you and I, the same group of folks this movie is targeting, the folks who grew up with Westerns and played Cowboys and Indians and who actually know who Jesse James is. I don't think I could get my parents into a nearly 3 hour movie, and my mother is the biggest Brad Pitt fan alive. Again, the length didn't kill it for me, it doesn't take away from the accomplishments of the film, but it certainly impacts the theatrical experience as a whole when you're sitting there 80 minutes in realizing you're only at the halfway point in the film.

Posted by MiraJeffAICN [TypeKey Profile Page] at August 30, 2007 08:04 PM

comment #52

source188 [TypeKey Profile Page] says ...

Wow, ok. I'm late to the party. Saying this has grown repetitive since the cart-wheeling test screening reviews from months ago now and that's that I love everything I know thus far about this film and everything that I've heard thus far about this film. Jeff Wells and Devin Faraci like it, that's great to hear but I'm ready as-hell to watch this thing.

Posted by source188 [TypeKey Profile Page] at August 30, 2007 08:38 PM

comment #53

lazespud [TypeKey Profile Page] says ...

Bar none, this is my favorite HE thread of all time.

Nothing else comes close.

Posted by lazespud [TypeKey Profile Page] at August 30, 2007 08:38 PM

comment #54

Mr B [TypeKey Profile Page] says ...

can't wait for this movie. mirajeff, I don't think you meant any malice by it, and it's not that big a deal, but I can definitely see where people are coming from about pointing them elsewhere/promotion. Like the Old West, if you want to talk here, just say what ya gotta say, no one really needs to know what you're going to say in a week. but, do keep talking here, because I am interested in your opinion, and you help make quality threads!

As for Devin, don't get cocky or nothin, but keep up the work, you and Wells are the two online critics i generally trust, now get back to work!

Posted by Mr B [TypeKey Profile Page] at August 30, 2007 09:08 PM

comment #55

alynch [TypeKey Profile Page] says ...

MiraJeff, I understand where you're coming from and I won't criticize your opinion of the film since I haven't seen it. However, I completely disagree when you say that older people are less inclined to watch longer movies. I think it's the exact opposite. The younger people are the ones who are always getting nervous about long running lengths.

Posted by alynch [TypeKey Profile Page] at August 30, 2007 11:09 PM

comment #56

christian [TypeKey Profile Page] says ...

"I am a complete actionman"

my favorite thing in a recent post ever.

Posted by christian [TypeKey Profile Page] at August 30, 2007 11:41 PM

comment #57

MiraJeffAICN [TypeKey Profile Page] says ...

I guess it goes both ways, ALynch. Way too many kids my age don't have the patience to watch a 3-hour film, or a subtitled film for that matter, which is truly a shame. But I don't expect to see too many 50+ folks standing in line for a 2 hr 45 min film that screens anytime after 7pm.

Posted by MiraJeffAICN [TypeKey Profile Page] at August 31, 2007 05:06 AM

comment #58

Geo B [TypeKey Profile Page] says ...

Milkman - you're being a prick. End o' story.

What is it with the catty bitchiness of these boards?

Good lord, let people have their own opinions and stop thinking your views are somehow more important or valid than they are - important mainly to YOU. THESE ARE JUST MOVIES. Go outside, do something.

Posted by Geo B [TypeKey Profile Page] at August 31, 2007 07:52 AM

comment #59

T. Holly [TypeKey Profile Page] says ...

Thanks christian -- I didn't see it 'til now -- I've begun self limiting HE to between 7 and 7.

Posted by T. Holly [TypeKey Profile Page] at August 31, 2007 08:40 AM

comment #60

Ian Sinclair [TypeKey Profile Page] says ...

Here's the HOLLYWOOD REPORTER's Kirk Honeycutt on the picture, calling it a long, pretentious yawn with mumbling, incomprehensible dialects.


At the heart of "The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford" lies an obsessive, destructive relationship between two disparate yet oddly similar men. One will eventually kill the other. Yet this fascinating relationship gets smothered in pointlessly long takes, repetitive scenes, grim Western landscapes and mumbled, heavily accented dialogue.

The self-indulgence begins with director Andrew Dominik and infects much of the cast, who deliver meandering, unstable performances. Instead of contemplating the moral dimensions of novelist Ron Hansen's portrait of outlaw paranoia and obsession, a viewer can only think of waste -- the waste of good material and themes, a talented cast and, most crucially, the viewer's own time.

Coming from the production companies of the film's star, Brad Pitt, and Ridley and Tony Scott and based on Hansen's well received novel, the film's pedigree probably means a solid opening week, However, word of mouth may kill the movie faster than Robert Ford killed Jesse James.
For the record, Ford, played by Casey Affleck, doesn't shoot Pitt's James until 132 minutes into the 160-minute running time. Strangely, what happens afterwards is at least as interesting as what leads up to the murder. So the film also suffers from an imbalance: Too much time is lavished on the inevitable and not enough on its aftermath.

In 1881, Jesse James, age 34, is at the height of his fame as an outlaw. Bob Ford, 19, is the restless country rube and younger brother of one of James gang. He has read every nickle novel written about the infamous gang and is drawn to the scary, charismatic Jesse, who heads the gang along with his older brother Frank (Sam Shepard, who's barely in the film despite being third billed).

Most gang members are wary if not frightened of the moody Jesse and his explosive, often murderous temper, but Robert is irresistably drawn to him. It's never clear to either man whether Robert wants to be like Jesse or destroy Jesse or, somehow, become him. The film is nothing if not a meditation on a fan's obsession with a celebrity, a phenomenon now called stalking.

But Dominik, who also wrote the script, drags out this poisonous courtship with protracted scenes either virtually empty of significance or redundant. Clouds roll swiftly over western skies. The weeds flap in the breeze. Men grunt and spit and stare at one another in mockery or fear.

Then there are those accents. Whether they accurately reflect the country rube-cracker speech of 19th century Missouri or not, they frequently land on 21st century ears as unintelligible sounds. Couldn't this have been cleaned up on the ADR stage?

The film grimly -- but no doubt accurately -- portrays one of the most famous outlaw gangs in history as a collection of hicks, petty thieves and psychopathic murderers. Pitt's Jesse is a born killer who sometimes covers up his brutality with nasty humor and bursts of generosity. He's naturally paranoid and shoots anyone he suspects, whether he has reason to or not. If Robert didn't kill Jesse, Jesse surely would have killed him and his brother Charley (Sam Rockwell).

Affleck's Robert is the most interesting character here. Affleck does something to his voice that makes him whiny. He talks in a whimper, and his body moves in odd, halting angles. He is handsome but doesn't seem to know it. He alternately exudes great enthusiasm or sulks. He is a man forever auditioning for a role but uncertain exactly what it is. Then he finds his role -- and learns to hate himself and the act that made him famous.

Charley is a lackey, but after the killing turns morose, hateful and suicidal as the two tour the country in a stage show where they re-enact the killing, with Charley playing Jesse. Meanwhile, two gang members, played by Paul Schneider and Jeremy Reener, carry on a feud that proves lethal for both. The women in the lives of these men, Mary-Louise Parker as Jesse's wife and Zooey Deschanel as a sympathetic friend acquired during his "stage career," are barely glimpsed.

Missouri circa 1880 in this Canadian-shot production is a raw, untamed land of rough beauty and mean accommodations. One thing of note is Nick Cave and Warren Ellis' music. They have produced a languid, often mournful score that is almost a durge. Cave, the Australian singer-songwriter, also appears in a saloon scene to sing a well-known song from that era about Jesse and Robert.

Posted by Ian Sinclair [TypeKey Profile Page] at August 31, 2007 12:17 PM

comment #61

MilkMan [TypeKey Profile Page] says ...

Bored people are boring. If static shots and silence and still faces and bodies in repose make you uncomfortable then it's probably because they make you self-conscious, gently suggest that you become an active participant in the story, which is what a large portion of moviegoers - professional "reviewers" included - are loathe to do, seeing as how going to the movies has become an excuse for people to satiate their buffet gene and acquire masturbatory images for use at a later place and time. So far the complaints leveled against this movie sound exactly like something I would hear from a high school student. "It's too slow." "I was bored." "They talked funny." I'm sure this movie has many faults, but I haven't read an intelligent rendering of them yet. I guess I'll have to wait for MiraJeffAICN to chime in. Only a few more days until his hotly anticpated review goes up underneath a link to behind-the-scenes photos from the making of Iron Man. I, for one, am waiting with baited breath.

Posted by MilkMan [TypeKey Profile Page] at August 31, 2007 03:56 PM

comment #62

Ian Sinclair [TypeKey Profile Page] says ...

That would be "bated" breath, unless you perchance have worms danging from a hook in your tongue.

Posted by Ian Sinclair [TypeKey Profile Page] at August 31, 2007 04:02 PM

comment #63

MilkMan [TypeKey Profile Page] says ...

Sir, if you need to resort to proofreading to think you've proven a point, then by all means, go ahead. That extra "i" really sends the whole house of cards tumbling down. Your level of discourse is as childish as your take on the movie.

By the way, you forgot to hit the return button between the sentences "killed Jesse James." and "For the record." In the future, if I were you, make sure you proofread your own before pointing out the mistakes in others.

Posted by MilkMan [TypeKey Profile Page] at August 31, 2007 04:29 PM

comment #64

BurmaShave [TypeKey Profile Page] says ...

I'm kind of you queers always hijacking these threads. But then again I'm usually one of you. Let's lure D.Z. and have a final showdown. Manga sucks!

Posted by BurmaShave [TypeKey Profile Page] at August 31, 2007 05:51 PM

comment #65

BurmaShave [TypeKey Profile Page] says ...

*kind of sick. Can't we all just get along?

Posted by BurmaShave [TypeKey Profile Page] at August 31, 2007 05:54 PM

comment #66

christian [TypeKey Profile Page] says ...

if this was a great western you'd all shoot each other in a circle.

Posted by christian [TypeKey Profile Page] at August 31, 2007 06:44 PM

comment #67

MickTravis [TypeKey Profile Page] says ...

Fuck you, B.S. I'm kind of [sick] of people who don't realize that quoting Rodney King stopped being funny like back in 1999? It's now the detris of sitcoms and Jamie Kennedy dreck.

Actually, I'm just fucking with. A lot of posters round here seriously do seem to be on the rag this week, though. Like a 3-Midol adult-sized bangeroo.

Posted by MickTravis [TypeKey Profile Page] at August 31, 2007 06:45 PM

comment #68

MickTravis [TypeKey Profile Page] says ...

Thanks for stepping in front of my joke, christian.

Goddamn I have a lot of typos, mispunctuations and made-up words in my last post. Gotta stop posting when I'm on the goofballs. But I'm always on the goofballs. Coogan gets the best goofballs.

Posted by MickTravis [TypeKey Profile Page] at August 31, 2007 06:48 PM

comment #69

Ponderer [TypeKey Profile Page] says ...

Well, looks like the thrasher on this was indeed Poland - he just shredded it to wee bits at The Hot Blog. Here's hoping he's as wrong about this as Wells was about Munich.

Posted by Ponderer [TypeKey Profile Page] at September 1, 2007 01:01 PM

comment #70

jeffmcm [TypeKey Profile Page] says ...

Honeycut's review clearly says 'accents', not 'dialects'. If you want to be really pedantic, you should have said 'abated breath' since 'to bate' is archaic English.

So Poland's review is out. Let it be said, for all Jeff Wells' flaws as a person, that he usually has better taste in movies than Poland.

Posted by jeffmcm [TypeKey Profile Page] at September 1, 2007 01:19 PM

comment #71

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