"Brady" bonings

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I've made some mistakes in my life, but I sleep pretty well because I've also done a few things right. Like having watched only two episodes of the The Brady Bunch series in my entire life, and having deliberately avoided Betty Thomas's The Brady Bunch Movie when it came out in the mid '90s. Admittedly, I avoided out of ignorance, not knowing at the time that the backstage shenanigans among the Brady Bunch were like something out of a Radley Metzger flick from the '70s, or perhaps even one by Pier Paolo Pasolini.

Brady Bunch costar Maureen McCormick

The closer was yesterday's CBS News report that a forthcoming book by Maureen McCormick (i.e., "Marsha" on the series) may tell of a lesbian affair between herself and costar Eve Plumb (i.e., "Jan"). The story also says that the book's publisher, William Morrow, is denying that McCormick will reveal an affair with Plumb, and okay, maybe the report is b.s. But if you were a 51 year-old sometime actress looking to sell some books about your one successful TV series that peaked 35 years ago, wouldn't you be inclined to include something in your book that might actually stir interest?

The Metzger analogy comes from the combination of (a) the lezzy thing (if true), (b) Brady costar Barry Williams' admission in "Growing Up Brady" that he dated (and presumably was somewhat interested in boning) on-screen mom Florence Henderson as well as McCormick, and, of course, (c) the closeted gay life of Robert Reed (dad "Mike Brady") and his death from AIDS in the early '90s.

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Posted by Jeffrey Wells on September 26, 2007 at 12:25 PM

comment #1

DarthCorleone says ...

Puts a whole new twist on Jan's famous line "Marcia! Marcia! Marcia!"

Posted by DarthCorleone at September 26, 2007 1:49 PM

comment #2

actionman says ...

big fan of lesbians

Posted by actionman at September 26, 2007 2:00 PM

comment #3

storymark says ...

Never have seen an episode myself. Or the movies, though it's been tempting, as I am a big Gary Cole an. But so far, I've managed to live a Brady-free life.

Posted by storymark at September 26, 2007 2:00 PM

comment #4

Josh Massey says ...

Thomas's Brady Bunch Movie was one of the more surprisingly good movies of the '90s.

Posted by Josh Massey at September 26, 2007 2:08 PM

comment #5

Walter Sobchak says ...

You've only seen two Brady Bunch episodes.... which means that you must only get about 24% of Conan O'Brien jokes.

I always thought it was a chick show when I was growing up. My sister and her friends were really into it, as it's kind of a young girl fantasy. (having a trio of cute but non-threatening boys living in-house) Me and the fellas were more into Speed Racer, Batman and Gilligan's Island. Not a quality issue, obviously, but I never saw the appeal of Brady Bunch.

Posted by Walter Sobchak at September 26, 2007 2:09 PM

comment #6

Bocephus says ...

Brady Bunch Movie was hilarious. It made fun of the old series by transposing the seventies Bradys into a cynical modern world. The casting was perfect, too.

The sequel was pretty bad, but I remember laughing uproariously at the scene where one of the characters accidentally trips on mushrooms.

Posted by Bocephus at September 26, 2007 2:11 PM

comment #7

Walter Sobchak says ...

McCormick should criticize the inner workings of the Bush administration. Her book would get a sweet publishing deal from Simon & Schuster, a glowing review in the New York Times and a pole-position slot on an up-coming "60 Minutes".

Posted by Walter Sobchak at September 26, 2007 2:15 PM

comment #8

George Prager says ...

I saw every episode in reruns. My favorite: when Alice quits because she's going through menopause and Kay replaces her and lectures the kids on the difference between the proletariat and the leisure class: ("That was Alice, I'm Kay." "Housekeepers don't have time for games...they KEEP HOUSE.")

Posted by George Prager at September 26, 2007 2:16 PM

comment #9

George Prager says ...

I told you Sobchak was the new D.Z.

Posted by George Prager at September 26, 2007 2:19 PM

comment #10

Alan Cerny says ...

THE BRADY BUNCH MOVIE is kinda awesome, actually. Pretty damn funny.

Posted by Alan Cerny at September 26, 2007 2:21 PM

comment #11

T. Holly says ...

The movie sucked, the show was good, my fav was Alice, I think I loved her. Of course Maureen and Eve were diddling each other, the only question is, how much of it can Maureen recall with authenticity (the years gone by, the drugs) and will she be too embarrassed not to be ashamed.

Posted by T. Holly at September 26, 2007 2:24 PM

comment #12

George Prager says ...

Publisher says it ain't so:

http://abcnews.go.com/Entertainment/story?id=3638969&page=1

Posted by George Prager at September 26, 2007 2:27 PM

comment #13

Craig Kennedy says ...

Mrs. Brady was the proto-MILF.

Talking about Jan and Marsha this way makes me feel funny on the inside. I have to go now.

Posted by Craig Kennedy at September 26, 2007 2:59 PM

comment #14

PerfectTommy says ...

Sobchak - Your chick vs. guy show reference reminded me of my older brother and sister arguing over whether to watch The Flying Nun or Star Trek on the basis of which one was more realistic. (Which I knew at the time was a stupid arguement because it was obviously Star Trek.)
I will confess to watching the Bunch on occasion, mainly because of Marcia, Marcia, Marcia. My daughters now watch it occasionally and with adult eyes I can see how awful really is.

Posted by PerfectTommy at September 26, 2007 3:20 PM

comment #15

PerfectTommy says ...

Ugggh. Argument. "awful it really". I need to learn to read my posts before they're posted or never read them again.

Posted by PerfectTommy at September 26, 2007 3:23 PM

comment #16

Walter Sobchak says ...

"I told you Sobchak was the new D.Z."

Hardly... Unlike Sobchak, I'm not responsible for the deaths of over a million civilians in the Congo.

- D.Z.

Posted by Walter Sobchak at September 26, 2007 4:08 PM

comment #17

le corbeau says ...

The Flying Nun still floors me. A nun... who flies!

I heard they came up with that after rejecting the idea of a chiropractor who could tunnel through solid rock, and a mailman who could turn himself into different cheeses.

Posted by le corbeau at September 26, 2007 4:11 PM

comment #18

PerfectTommy says ...

LQTM, Mgmax. You might be able to pitch those ideas to the CW.

Posted by PerfectTommy at September 26, 2007 4:18 PM

comment #19

D.Z. says ...

Jeff: The movies were parodies of the show. The first one was ok, but the second one was outright hilarious. Maybe you're confusing them for the reunion specials?

Posted by D.Z. at September 26, 2007 4:29 PM

comment #20

Larry says ...

The TV series wasn't much, but the movie was great. Why deny yourself pleasure?

Posted by Larry at September 26, 2007 4:34 PM

comment #21

polevod says ...

Is everybody here drunk?? The Brady Bunch series no good?? Proud to have seen only two episodes??

Come on people, that was the best Friday night line-up ever: Nanny and the Professor, The Brady Bunch, The Partridge Family and-- if your parents let you stay up late and weren't paying attention-- Love American Style.

How can you be so jaded as to turn your backs on all that now. Admit it, you loved it then. It is the common language of a generation.

Posted by polevod at September 26, 2007 5:13 PM

comment #22

lazarus says ...

Am I the only person who's going to admit to being a Brady Bunch junkie? When I was in high school someone was passing around a 100 question quiz on the show, and I sadly knew most of the answers.

Ex: What food did the kids sneak out to the Native American boy in the Grand Canyon episode, and how did they do it?

Remember the Hawaii vacation two-parter with the Tiki curse and a guest appearance from Vincent Price?

God, I need help.

Posted by lazarus at September 26, 2007 5:16 PM

comment #23

polevod says ...

Junky is such a negative word, Laz, but in 1980 I went to the Soviet Union on a high school "culture sharing" tour, and the Russian youth would sing us all their folk songs and then ask us to sing them ours. I shit you not, the only songs we all knew the words to were the Brady Bunch and Gilligan's Island themes. Embarrassing.

Posted by polevod at September 26, 2007 5:37 PM

comment #24

Jay T. says ...

How can you possibly hate on a family with an astroturf yard?

Posted by Jay T. at September 26, 2007 5:52 PM

comment #25

nemo says ...

You learn something new every day here at Hollywood-Elsewhere. Hell, I always thought Susan Dey played Marcia, Marcia, Marcia.

Posted by nemo at September 26, 2007 11:53 PM

comment #26

chicagodad says ...

There is no way Mrs Brady was the proto-milf. There were plenty of milfs on TV looong before her.

First that comes to mind is Mary Tyler-Moore on the Dick Van Dyke show, but there were plenty...

Posted by chicagodad at September 27, 2007 6:38 AM

comment #27

GonePostal says ...

The Brady Bunch movies were pretty sharp, and the second was actually better than the first. But growing up, I loved watching Brady re-runs. When you're 10, the target demographic, it's pretty fun stuff. And Mrs. Brady was definitly a proto-MILF, in that the couple shared a bed, and actually used some Double-Entendres. I don't think Mary Tyler Moore, hot as she was, was every a sex object like Mrs. Brady was. Plus, knowing that the guy who played Greg was doing her on the side adds to her legend.

Posted by GonePostal at September 27, 2007 7:05 AM

comment #28

nemo says ...

"I told you Sobchak was the new D.Z."

Ain't that the truth. I've been reading HE so long I remember when Walter Sobchak used to be consistently funny and clever. Lately he's been kidnapped by some obsessive one-note administration-defending Fox news shill.

Posted by nemo at September 27, 2007 7:22 AM

comment #29

corey3rd says ...

This reminds me more of Takashi Miike's Visitor Q

Posted by corey3rd at September 27, 2007 7:35 AM

comment #30

christian says ...

"Am I the only person who's going to admit to being a Brady Bunch junkie?"

I hope so. Even as a kid I thought the show ridiculous. Three boys sharing one room in a giant architect's home? But Marcia was sexy and I liked Alice.

Partridge Family was superior because it was wittier, more risque and Susan Dey. Plus I loved the insults betwixt Danny and Mr. Kincaid.

"What food did the kids sneak out to the Native American boy in the Grand Canyon episode, and how did they do it?"

He brought the runaway beans in a coffee thermos.

But "Room 222" was the coolest show of that period. Karen Valentine in mini-skirts and boots!

Posted by christian at September 27, 2007 9:34 AM

comment #31

Walter Sobchak says ...

Oh shut up nemo and go back to your underwater adventures... Haliburton in '08!

I watch the occasional Partridge Family on KDOC... Funny stuff.... Love the back-stage story of how Keith and Danny stole the bus one day and drove it through Hollywood... and Danny's first lay was some groupie that got shined by Keith... "oh well, at least he's a Partridge"

And I'll say it again. Brady Bunch was/is a girl's show.

Posted by Walter Sobchak at September 27, 2007 11:03 AM

comment #32