comment #1

Edward Havens says ...

But adding a 13min short subject to the film would take away an entire show over the course of a day!

comment #2

christian says ...

i'd rather watch KID NATION than enter an apple store...

comment #3

MilkMan says ...

Jason Schwartzman and Natalie Portman remind me of kids I went to school with here in Los Angeles, kids who worked excessively hard to make sure that kids like me did not know that they were having a party, and then worked excessively hard to make themselves look effortless in concealing their effort.

Natalie Portman is an exceptional looking Jewess, however, unlike any that I knew at S.S. Wise Temple Day School. I would be salivating at the thought of seeing her naked had my father not installed satellite cable in my room when I was 16, which included free, unscrambled hard-core pornography. Since that time the simple pleasures of soft-core nudity have been ruined for me. Now it is not enough for me to just look at Natalie Portman's ass, I have the impulse to want to look inside of it too. But my psychopathologies do not deter me from enjoying a good comedy, as I watched Year of the Dog last night and found it to be an exceptionally well-made movie. Why it didn't receive better word of mouth is beyond me. Molly Shannon was great, and it's Mike White's best script by far.

comment #4

Michael says ...

So, Heigl can be all over Seth Rogen and it's not to be believed (in a million years!), but Natalie Portman just can't get through the night without nailing Schwartzman and his ridiculous facial hair, and we're supposed to let it pass without mention?

Unrelated, I wonder what kind of person Schwartzman would have been had he never met Wes Anderson. Talk about an influence.

comment #5

christian says ...

clearly michael, you don't go to silverlake. or largo. it's all there.

comment #6

Michael says ...

I guess not, bro...I mean, for the love of God, they're the same height!

comment #7

MilkMan says ...

Yeah, sorry Michael, but J. Schwartzman is the ur-alpha hipster of Los Angeles, born into aristocracy, and the number of girls of Natalie Portman's caliber that he has probably schtupped would make you want to slit his throat. The guy could, if he wanted to, have sex with a different girl on the hour, every hour, every day of the week. And mind you, I'm not saying that I find him appealing, but when you consider his current station in life, a menage a quatrois with say, Mary Elzabeth Winstead, Zooey Deschanel and Summer Bishil is not out of the question, and most likely, happening as we speak.

comment #8

Michael says ...

You know...the other two are nice, but if he lays a finger on Zooey he better never walk the north side of San Antonio by himself. Crazy world, right?

comment #9

MilkMan says ...

Jah, Zooey's the biz, I agree. I just hope that guys like Schwatzman understand that on some fundemental level they've won the lottery, but they probably don't, which I what allows them to glide through life with the sincere belief that they deserve what they have, and thus, allows them affect the non-chalant demeanor of the priviledged, which, in turn, is what is so attractive to women.

comment #10

Rich S. says ...

When you say "slit his throat," do you mean the clinical throat slitting that occurs during the body of Eastern Promises, or the one that occurs early on? Given the vast qualitative difference between the two, I think it's important to specify the distinction. True, you wouldn't really want either one. But you would really, really not want the latter.

comment #11

Rich S. says ...

(latter, as in my post; former in the movie itself)

comment #12

T. Holly says ...

Would you knock it off?, you've got until Nov. 22 to think about what you're thankful for.

comment #13

DarthCorleone says ...

They're giving away something with nudity on iTunes for free? That is curious.

comment #14

BurmaShave says ...

Yes, EASTERN PROMISES does set the new standard for throat slitting. In fact that was one of the things I loved about it, how lowtech and primal it was. I don't recall a single gun being fired or even seen. Plus finally people have a frame of reference when I say "Shut the fuck up or I'm going to get naked and stab you in the eye!"

comment #15

115thDreamer says ...

Darth raised my question - Portman is naked but it's going to be available on iTunes? If that's true, Apple had better be prepared to have iTunes crash on the date in question due to extreme overload. Either some editing will take place before it hits iTunes, or the LA Times article I read is correct and the nude scene really is "handled with admirable restraint". You hate to see "nude scene" and "restraint" together, but that's what it said.

comment #16

TheJeff says ...

And are they really going to be displaying Naked Natalie on the giant plasma screens in Apple Stores?

comment #17

Abbey Normal says ...

Hey Wells, are we talking cover-of-Vanity-Fair style, artfully-posed-but-you-really-don't-see-anything nudity? Or full-on, show-me-the-breasts-the-nipples-and-maybe-a-flash-of-pube nudity? When it comes to Portman, specifics are required.

comment #18

BurmaShave says ...

According to Poland it's the former, but then he's not really looking for the same things we are, is he?

comment #19

corey3rd says ...

has anyone figured out if this is truly a short film or just an extended part of the movie that had to be snipped and Wes is looking for a cheap way to get an Oscar nomination?

comment #20

christian says ...

i think this was a cheap way to get natalie portman nude. works for me.