Patton Oswalt hates Lucas

email this story
read comments (25)
post a comment

Patton Oswalt is hereafter a God...the George S. Patton of George Lucas haters. This video riff is the single funniest vivisection of the Star Wars prequels ever performed, seen heard...the best. Oswalt starts off by saying that if he could time-travel himself back to 1993, he would...just click on it.

Ark of the warehouse<< previous | next >>Clearing Up My Sinuses

Posted by Jeffrey Wells on September 28, 2007 at 11:42 AM

comment #1

Alan Cerny says ...

That's also on his new album. Which is excellent, if you haven't heard it, definitely pick it up.

Posted by Alan Cerny at September 28, 2007 12:00 PM

comment #2

lazespud says ...

Old bit, but funny as hell. Oswalt is a genius...

Posted by lazespud at September 28, 2007 12:00 PM

comment #3

Adonis says ...

Your about 6 months late on this...

But it is good.

My favorite Patton Oswald moment, though, is during the Roast of William Shatner.

Patton, Brown paper bag in hand:

"Hey Bill, can you settle a bet between me and my friend"

Shakes out the bag...

"Can you ACT your way out of this?"

Posted by Adonis at September 28, 2007 12:05 PM

comment #4

Ogami Itto says ...

Oswalt's entire new album is funny, but the Star Wars bit is particularly great. And so very true.

Posted by Ogami Itto at September 28, 2007 12:06 PM

comment #5

muteprotest says ...

Here's a link to the longer, better album version of this routine:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2hQKDVRzYDA

Posted by muteprotest at September 28, 2007 12:07 PM

comment #6

Sean says ...

Jeff, you must must MUST check out the longer version of the routine that muteprotest linked to. The clip you linked to is all build-up and no punchline. The longer version has two wicked punchlines -- one about ice cream, one about Angelina Jolie. Those really seal the deal on this routine.

Posted by Sean at September 28, 2007 12:19 PM

comment #7

CitizenKanedforChewingGum says ...

A bit fat, though, isn't he, Jeff?

And heavens, that thread count...

Posted by CitizenKanedforChewingGum at September 28, 2007 12:20 PM

comment #8

DavidF says ...

There's a good bit on the little-seen CLERKS cartoon where Randall, in the midst of an unrelated court case, calls George Lucas to the stand and makes him admit he had no clue what he was doing.

Randal: Do you think Phantom Menace is as good of a movie as Empire?
George Lucas: Well, certainly, I think it's the best movie I've made yet.
Randal: Permission to treat this witness as hostile. Mr. Lucas, how do you explain that in Star Wars Obi-Wan tells Luke when he met his father he was a great pilot, but in Menace he's just a little boy?
Lucas: Well, my kids thought...
Randal: And how come Obi-Wan tells Luke that Yoda is the Jedi that trains him, but in the movie Liam Neeson trains him?
Lucas: Um, well, the power of myth...
Randal: Isn't it true you knew this was a bad movie, that you wrote it over a weekend but told people you had it written for years?
Lawyer: Objection! The pod race was pretty cool.

He then goes on to get his money back from Spike Lee, Spielberg and a few other directors for their mistakes.

(The judge in the case is Judge Reinhold, several years before Arrested Development used the joke - adding the William Hung Jury band)

The episode then changes into a bizarre and absurd Pokemon-style romp, but that's another story...

Posted by DavidF at September 28, 2007 12:23 PM

comment #9

CitizenKanedforChewingGum says ...

"Sticking bananas up tailpipes!" Oh, the memories, DavidF. Sure, the animation was a bit crude, but if that show was allowed to find its audience it may well have turned into my favorite cartoon series of all time. Oh well.

Posted by CitizenKanedforChewingGum at September 28, 2007 12:28 PM

comment #10

colby says ...

I only saw one episode of the Clerks television show but oddly enough, it was that one.

Posted by colby at September 28, 2007 12:40 PM

comment #11

DavidF says ...

They only aired like 2 of them and ABC aired this one (ep #4) first, cuz of all the gimmicks, I guess.

They're so dumb - Ep#2 is a flashback episode that flashes back to the things that happened in Ep#1. Of course the humour is totally lost if Ep#1 was never aired, which is exactly what ABC did. Fools.

That episode IS one of the funniest, however. Overall, the show is somewhat uneven but has genius voiceover work from Alec Baldwin and the Pokemon bit ("Who is driving? Bear is driving!") is as funny as all getout.

Posted by DavidF at September 28, 2007 12:43 PM

comment #12

The Bandsaw Vigilante says ...

Didn't I read somewhere that Patton Oswalt moonlights as AICN's "Neill Cumpston"?

If you listen to his routines, he sounds an *awful* lot like him...

Posted by The Bandsaw Vigilante at September 28, 2007 12:46 PM

comment #13

CitizenKanedforChewingGum says ...

I've heard that as well, Bandsaw. Not a clue as to whether it has any basis in truth, though.

Posted by CitizenKanedforChewingGum at September 28, 2007 1:22 PM

comment #14

alan says ...

I hate the prequels as much as any other sane, non-self-deceiving person, but I didn't find that bit hilarious or even clever. The extended clip linked above made me LQTM for a second or two, but...eh.

Posted by alan at September 28, 2007 2:18 PM

comment #15

lazespud says ...

"Who is driving? Bear is driving!"

Damn, I remember when that aired and the next day, out of the blue, someone mentioned the line in the office; and about 6 of us fell into hysterical laughter for about 5 minutes. We had all seen it and it just killed us...

Clerks the Animated Series was woefully underappreciated, but if everything had been as funny and bizarre as those 5 seconds, the show would have lasted as long as South Park....

Posted by lazespud at September 28, 2007 2:48 PM

comment #16

Wrecktum says ...

Fat nerds and sob stories keep forgetting that kids loved Phantom Menace. Loved it.

Posted by Wrecktum at September 28, 2007 3:35 PM

comment #17

Craig Kennedy says ...

Yeah, my little nephew ate that shit up with a spork.

Also, it's kind of funny how people think they have ownership of Star Wars. Like they invented it, it belongs to them and this Mr. Lucas character came along and ruined it.

Posted by Craig Kennedy at September 28, 2007 3:48 PM

comment #18

a1 says ...

Is it just completely stupid for people to still be emotionally invested in the original "Star Wars" trilogy? I dunno.....I don't think they're 100% off base with that view. How many people would have been pissed off if the "Casablanca" remake with J.Affleck came to pass? For myself, I remember getting a great charge when Darth Vader made his first appearance in "Star Wars". He was such a nightmarish, bad-ass villain. Are kids watching Episode 4 today going to get the same charge knowing Vader's just a sullen, whiny punk in a big suit? Probably not, and that's a shame.

Posted by a1 at September 28, 2007 4:41 PM

comment #19

Thrudvangar says ...

His funnier Comedians of Comedy partner, Zach Galifianakis, is in Into The Wild.

I love Patton's riff on Al Quaida though.

Posted by Thrudvangar at September 28, 2007 4:57 PM

comment #20

Sean says ...

"kids loved Phantom Menace"

Kids also love Teletubbies and Barney, but, like 'Star Wars' prequels, adults can't stand them after five minutes.

Saying "kids love it" is silly, because kids loved 'Lord of the Rings'... but so did a lot of adults. Because they're better movies.

Posted by Sean at September 28, 2007 5:25 PM

comment #21

thatrader says ...

To complete the thread, here is the aforementioned "Clerks" conclusion

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F-ReoBPl4mM

Posted by thatrader at September 28, 2007 5:38 PM

comment #22

Dan Revill says ...

If Jeff is 6 months late, I'm just as late, seeing as how I forwarded it on to him this morning. It's still funny and true, no matter how "on time" it is.

Posted by Dan Revill at September 28, 2007 5:59 PM

comment #23