comment #1

christian says ...

"and Carlos Mencia give the two best supporting perfs."

DANGER WILL ROBINSON DANGER!

comment #2

MilkMan says ...

Jeff, I understand that this version might be funnier than the original, but how does it make sense that Stiller would leave his Swedish Bikini model wife for a girl who looks like Sanddra Bullock, while in the original, it makes perfect sense that Charles Grodin, upon seeing Shiksa goddess Cybil Shephard, would immediately ditch the hideously insufferable JAP Jeannie Berlin? I just feel that the entire foundation of this movie is unbalanced.

comment #3

Craig Kennedy says ...

"What's with the spazzy look in her eyes and her short teeth? She looks hyper and nerve-jangled"

That was awesome.

I'm shocked, shocked I tell you, that this movie isn't awful. The original trailer was horrid. The more recent commercials I've noticed have emphasized more of the cruder aspects and generally looked funnier, and I'm glad to hear there's more to it than all that.

I'm not going to be first in line on Friday, but I might actually pay cash money to see it now which is a long way from not even wanting to put the DVD in my Netflix queue.

comment #4

gruver1 says ...

Wells to Milkman: Forget the shiksah thing from the '72 film. The primary appeal of Monaghan is not her brunette-y good looks but her bright spirit and emotional health and overall centered-ness. This contrasts markedly with the interior qualities of Stiller's "Swedish Bikini model" wife, played by Malin Akerman.

comment #5

vansmith says ...

that is a daring line about men kowtowing and jumping thru hoops. where and what is the man's reward then out of marriage. i've been married and i dont know. but i'd do it again to find out...

comment #6

T. Holly says ...

Women aren't going to buy it because they know it's women who do all the grovelling and kowtowing and jumping through hoops.

comment #7

MilkMan says ...

Okay, but Akerman's character seems a little too contrived to me. Yes, there are plenty of loons out there. but none of them look like Akerman. They look like Jeannie Berlin. Or Lili Taylor. Hell, they could've cast Janine Garofolo in the Akerman role and it would've made perfect sense. All I'm saying is that the movie looks miscast to me. One of the most important roles.

And to the trolls out there who are going to tell me that there are plenty of woman who look like Malin Akerman and act like Jerry Lewis, don't bother, because they don't exist. Not ever. Women who look like Malin Akerman don't have to do anything but sit and breathe to garner attention. No need for clowning. That's why her role looks totally forced to me. The role demands someone repellent, and that goes for the physical aspect, too. Malin Akerman is the exact opposite of repellent. I have the feeling she was cast because Ben Stiller, as is normal for any male movie star clocking 25 mil per picture, has a huge fucking ego and will not appear as anything other than the type of man who can land a hot piece of ass. God forbid he has to share screen space with a woman who is his equal in the looks department, viz. the aforementioned Lili Taylor or Garafolo. This movie looks like it takes place in fantasyland, while in the original, that's where Charles Grodin was hopin to escape to by landing Shephard.

comment #8

MilkMan says ...

Typo: Woman should be Women.

comment #9

gruver1 says ...

Wells to Milkman: That's a fair point. I won't argue it. That said, I totally bought Akerman's deranged qualities. Is it likely that a woman who looks like her would be this much of a nutcase? Uhhh...no.

comment #10

travis b says ...

milkman -

your argument about stiller's ego loses a lot of its luster when you put into account that stiller and garafalo used to date.

comment #11

bmcintire says ...

The "Swedish Bikini Model" vs. the "insufferable JAP Jeannie Berlin" is exactly the reason why I thought the Farrely's version might work better than May's. Berlin's character of Lila was an irritant from the beginning, which brought forth the question of why even a schlub like Grodin would have married her. Even the MAD Magazine parody ("The Heartburn Kid," I believe) nailed it by over-accentuating her ogre-like qualities. It seems a much better payoff to find the complete babe screechingly unbearable.

comment #12

VeniceJeff says ...

Seems the Akerman casting is causing the biggest stink. She was funny as the up & coming, but clueless star in The Comeback. In this month's Interview, she said she went thru rounds of auditions and it was between her and Gwyneth Paltrow. That would have taken the movie in a different direction, and GP was touching in Farrelly's Shallow Hal.

comment #13

MilkMan says ...

Holy shit, Travis B, you really stuck it to me. Stiller and Garafolo used to date!? That totally legitimizes Stiller as a down to earth, humble, non-shallow mensch.

And yes, of course, I'm sure a woman who looks like Malin Akerman might be unbearable, but not in the ways dramatized in the movie. You're god damn right I'm generalizing. I think the movie would have served itself if it had maturely explored what it is that makes a woman who looks like that unbearable, such as the quasi-sociopathic tendencies associated with genetically desirable people, i.e., malignant narcissism. Now that is a unattractive trait. And something you'd want to escape from. But a hot blonde who plays air trumpet and wears too much sunscreen? Riiiiggghhhht. That's pretty sketchy writing, and I mean that literally, as in a character Molly Shannon would've concocted during a coffee break.

comment #14

bmcintire says ...

As for the "sit there and breathe to garner attention" factor, that's generally what makes hyper-attractive people unbearable. Once they've gotten your attention, are you under the perception that they continue to just sit there and breathe? At least in my experience, the hotter they've been, the more vapidly empty or batshit crazy they've turned out to be. Of course, where that leaves Michelle Monaghan in this equation, I don't know, because she is just as hot as Akerman. Cast Janeane Garofalo in MM's role ("inner beauty" cliched as it might seem) and I'd more easliy be able to debunk the Hot Piece of Ass Clause in Stiller's contract.

comment #15

T. Holly says ...

MilkMan, I know you love the hot babe angle, but I think you mean that the current version lost this too: "What made 'The Heartbreak Kid' really unusual for its time - and why it's been more or less off the radar for so long - was how uncomfortable its hero made audiences feel. Grodin, usually likeable to an extreme, here plays an extremely unsympathetic character. And as he tries to buffalo a lot of people who are clearly onto him, the cringe factor goes off the charts."

http://www.newsday.com/entertainment/ny-ffmov5391180sep30,0,7450424.story

comment #16

MilkMan says ...

BMC: The question you had when you first saw Elaine May's Heartbreak Kid, why Grodin would've even married Berlin in the first place, is the exact same question that plays across Grodin's face every time he looks at Berlin. He has no idea why he married her either, and since the movie starts directly after they've already gotten married, it appears to me that Grodin feels as if he has woken up to find himself inside of a nightmare, which at least gives the movie some internal logic when he decides that his only means of escape is to acquire Shepard. She's like a talisman needed to ward off the evil spirits that would drag him back down into the nightmare of being with someone like Berlin.

Now, unlike the plethora of studs that frequent this site, I have never had the good fortune to come into intimate contact with a woman as good looking as Malin Akerman, which is why I can emphatically say that if I were to meet a woman who looked like her, and she wanted to have sex with me, and then she wanted to marry me, I would put up with every type of quirk short of bestiality. Hell, she could cheat on me in front of me and I would most likely forgive her just as long as she promised not to do it again.

My wife is about as good looking as Jeannie Berlin, if nowehere near as obnoxious, and I would leave her in a second if something better came along. But it never does, which is why I'm still married to her. If I was married to Malin Akerman she could be as obnoxious as she wanted and I wouldn't even think about looking at another woman. That's all I'm trying to say. That Ben Stiller's character should be leaving his wife for someone that looks like Malin Akerman, that she is the end result. She is what most men gravitate towards, not away from. But, like I said, it seems that most of you are pretty well-acquainted with the Akerman-type, so maybe you know something I don't.

comment #17

Walter Sobchak says ...

Jeffrey! What the hell are you doing posting things today? Don't you realize it's Shemini Atzeret?

Gay kakken af en yam, putz!

comment #18

christian says ...

"Grodin, usually likeable to an extreme, here plays an extremely unsympathetic character. "

which was the point of the film. the new version
forsakes that angle to focus on being with a HOT CRAZY BROAD! if stiller wanted to stretch, his character would be that grodin ass, instead of, "how's ben gonna get out of this wacky situation?"

comment #19

vansmith says ...

in regards to your last point milkman, the hook is in doing the opposite of what society would expect..the jewish longing for wasdom, getting the blond, here they start in reverse and return to the woman of "soul" their fellow jewish breathren..

comment #20

MilkMan says ...

Michelle Monaghan is not Jewish. Not even close. She's as Waspy as they come. He's leaving a Blonde for a Brunette, because, I guess, Brunettes are more stable. That's the point of the movie. That's the trite, cliched point of the movie, as far as I can tell.

And Ben Stiller, for the record, is married to Christine Taylor, who looks to me like the biggest goy in the world. I'm telling you, the way the original was conceived, you can't fuck with it. It's honest and brutal and all the more funny for it. But the key word is honest. And there's not a lot of that going around anymore, especially not in Hollywood, where they're approaching Depression-era levels of cynical escapism, this movie being a prime example.

comment #21

christian says ...

"Grodin, usually likeable to an extreme, here plays an extremely unsympathetic character. "

by the way, since this was the film that made grodin a name, i can't think of any film he did in the 70's up til MIDNIGHT RUN where he wasn't an ass, which he always played beautifully. he was even a dick in the KING KONG remake.

comment #22

Sean says ...

"Okay, but Akerman's character seems a little too contrived to me. Yes, there are plenty of loons out there. but none of them look like Akerman."

MilkMan -- I feel sorry for you. You obviously haven't been very intimate with many good-looking girls. I'm sure I won't be able to convince you how wrong you are, so I will simply say that the most beautiful girls I have ever dated have been the most crazy (less attractive girls get called out on it sooner; more attractive girls, people will put up with anything, so they can gradually become as sociopathic and self-centered as Larry David without *anybody* telling them they're wrong).

You're just flat-out wrong. I know you won't believe me, but you are wrong.

comment #23

Walter Sobchak says ...

Grodin was likeable as Ben Braddock in "The Graduate"......

Wait a minute...

Doh!

comment #24

otakuhouse says ...

Oh seriously man... Good looking women can be just as deranged and fucked up as whatever narrow definition you got going on.

And watch Kiss Kiss Bang Bang. Michelle Monaghan is fucking awesome. I bet Jeff looks her up on fleshofthestars.com all the time.

comment #25

MilkMan says ...

Sean:

First, I would like to congratulate you on being such a ladies man. I envy the days and nights you spend drowing in tan, young, supple flesh, and the obvious talents you must be endowed with to keep a steady stream flowing by your bedside.

Of course, I already said that I haven't been with any, let alone many, good-looking girls, but that doesn't preclude me from drawing some conclusions about these rare creatures, as I have had friends and family members who share with you the gift of magnetic cock. And what I was trying to say is that yes, of course, there are attractive women with repellent personalities; you'll have no argument from me there. But I have never encountered a woman who looks like the aforementioned Malin Akerman, and whose undesirable qualities stem from the fact that she engages in the basest forms of slapstick chicanery. That's all. I have no doubt that of the multitudes of hot babes you have bagged that a good percentage of them behaved in ways you found unattractive; all I'm saying is that most behavior is subtle, unspoken, and hard to read, qualities that The Fraternity Brothers are not interested in dramatizing, whether for economic or artistic purposes I do not know, although I suspect the latter.

But again, Sean, how I do envy you and your sexual escapades. The next time you're with a beautiful woman, which I suspect will be tonight, and she starts to irritate you, please do me a favor and tell them that there is someone out there who would put up with them, and his name is Milkman.

comment #26

frankbooth says ...

"My wife is about as good looking as Jeannie Berlin, if nowehere near as obnoxious, and I would leave her in a second if something better came along. But it never does, which is why I'm still married to her. If I was married to Malin Akerman she could be as obnoxious as she wanted and I wouldn't even think about looking at another woman."

So you would think, MM. But the truth is, if you have a slim, gorgeous filipina with small breasts, buxom blondes start looking good, and vice versa. It's just some inherent flaw in the male brain. I mean, for God's sake, Halle fucking Berry's husband cheated on her.

Does your wife know you post on this site?

comment #27

George Prager says ...

Next up for Stiller: remakes of MARRIAGE OF A YOUNG STOCKBROKER and THE BIG BUS.

comment #28

MilkMan says ...

My wife knows that I post on this site. She also knows I like slim, georgeous Filipinas with small breasts. Sounds tasty. Good job, Frankbooth. From what I have heard, Filipinas are quite the jungle tigers between the sheets. Does she speak dirty Tagalo? (sic)

And I would assume that the reason Eric Benet cheated on Halle Berry ( and the reason David Justice used to beat the shit out of her) has absolutely nothing to do with her doing pratfalls.

But again, let me extend my most heartfelt thanks to all the woodsman out there. You've shown me that there is another world worth inhabiting, and I am much more richer as a human being for knowing this.

comment #29

vansmith says ...

hot chicks can afford to indulge whatever feeling they have and they usually do because they know they'll get a pass but if you call them on it, they'll respect you..a little. mm you can always pay for it, go to vegas...

comment #30

Dave says ...

I'll add in my two cents, because this is fun.

I dated a woman who was absolutely beautiful, ridiculously off-the-charts sexual, and-- even better-- funny, brilliant, and delightfully vulgar.

She was completely out of my league, but I took the risk, *because* she was completely out of my league. We began dating under very unique circumstances, ones that I would never be able to repeat in a million years with any other "hot chick."

After a year together, she ended up leaving me for a co-worker two weeks after I pooh-pooh'ed her suggestion to elope.

I wanted to marry her, but I felt there was something off there. There was, because she turned around and married the guy she dumped me for a couple of months later.

I heard through the grapevine that she's miserable now, and apparently having commitment issues. Feel bad for the guy she married, but he bought the tickets, he knew what he was getting into (you love a cheater, you risk a cheater).

I say this just to point out: while rare, hot women CAN be smart and awesome and totally amazing. . . and they will still end up being the most batshit-crazy things on Earth. But as much at the time as I thought that I was with my ex because she was cool, I was really with her because she made me *feel* cool-- a more advnaced version of a trophy girlfriend, really.

My current girlfriend? Not as sexy, not as hot, but a damn sight more stable and honest and genuine because she's never been able to rest on her tits, hips and lips to get what she wants. She's had to compensate with more enviable qualities, just as I've had to because *I* am not a himbo. Been together over a year now, and it's damn good.

Pretty people can be deep as well. Odds are, however, that what ends up being "deep" about them is the depth of their emotional issues.

I'll never date anyone better looking than me again, I know that for sure.

But Milkman, if you want a number, I'll get it for you ;-)

comment #31

MilkMan says ...

Holy shit, George Prager, The Big Bus! I saw that with my dad at the old Pickwick Theatre on Pico, where the Westside Pavilion now resides. Joe Bologna (or, as my dad predictably called him, Joe "Baloney")rocked in that movie. Whenever my dad was driving down Beverly Glen he would tell me that the brakes were out and that he would have to call in for some foam. Thanks for the trip down memory lane. I bet you're a real stud, too, George Prager, or at least you better be, because this place is filthy with 'em!

comment #32

nemo says ...

"your argument about stiller's ego loses a lot of its luster when you put into account that stiller and garafalo used to date."

Wasn't that back when they were both getting started and were pretty much total unknowns? Stiller has gotten a lot richer and more famous since then, which can act like steroids on the old ego.

comment #33

George Prager says ...

Joe Bologna rules. COPS AND ROBBERS, MY FAVORITE YEAR, MAD FOR EACH OTHER (one of the best romantic comedies ever made) He's due for a Alan Arkin type revival. And yes, I do date hot chicks. I'm married to a Playmate of the Year, but am cheating on her with a Penthouse Pet and cheating on her with a soap opera actress who is cheating on me with my wife. I'm also my own Grandpa.

comment #34

George Prager says ...

That's MADE FOR EACH OTHER.
And what's up with Dave? Shouldn't he be posting that crap on some literotica website or something? Jeez.

comment #35

MilkMan says ...

I'm going to check out Cops and Robbers and Mad for Each Other. Thanks for the recommendation. Incidentally, I am my own daughter.

comment #36

T. Holly says ...

If someone at The Times shreds this movie tonight, then there would be no question IF THERE WAS A GOD.

comment #37

frankbooth says ...

No, she did not speak Tagolog. Her parents did, but I never had sex with either of them. Why? Do you fantasize about women crying out in an exotic tongue?

I speak in the past tense, because even though she was indeed kind of crazy, she wasn't crazy enough to stick around for more than a couple of years. Funny how a woman will watch Leaving Las Vegas or Barfly with you, but then get all squeamish about actually living it.

And it's Koreans, in my humble opinion and limited experience, who are the tigers.

And don't be so bitter, it's unbecoming. If it makes you feel better, I go through long periods of stability followed by intense bursts of activity between relationships. It's not all one non-stop party, which can actually be pretty grim. Like, you know, a Brett Easton Ellis novel without the expensive clothes.

Are you a bastard, an alcoholic or a manipulative asshole? No? Well, that may be your problem. Being sour and whiny doesn't count --- women want a more dramatic defect. I'm sure you can muster up something.

And that's enough of this Tony Robbins shit.

comment #38

christian says ...

"and it's Koreans, in my humble opinion and limited experience, who are the tigers."

i concur. best. sex. ever.

comment #39

Silverscreenvideos says ...

An incredibly beautiful, sexy woman turns out to be a totally unbearable bitch.... within the bounds of credibility.

The fact that she exhibited no hint of this whatsoever before the wedding ... beyond even the bounds of movie credibility.

The original version had credibly flawed characters; this one has cartoon caricatures.

comment #40

frankbooth says ...

See? Go have yourself an affair with a Korean woman and don't get caught.

Or don't have one. It may ruin your delightfully wretched posts.

C, would that be Korean-Korean, or Korean-American?

comment #41

christian says ...

Korean American. Both times. And WOW.

comment #42

frankbooth says ...

Same here. I wonder if Korean nationals are different. I figured it might have something to do with the adoptee thing, some kind of inherent masochism as a result of perceptions of being abandoned.