comment #1

BurmaShave says ...

For a girl who's been trying to break out going on 3 years now, how is this anything but a smart move? It can't possibly be any worse than FACTORY GIRL.

comment #2

giantman says ...

Obviously they don't even need a script to start filming this thing. Kidding, but just.

Funny, the page break stopped at "Stephen Sommers re" and I honestly thought the next word was going to be 'retarded'.

comment #3

Andrew says ...

Isn't Clooney supposed to be in this as well. At least that's the rumor I heard supposedly because he needs more box office hits.

comment #4

Geoff says ...

I don't even know why I'm bringing this up. I hated Van Helsing like everyone else. Complete garbage with a hilarious version of Dracula, but I would have awarded it a full star if it were to have all been shot in black & white, like in the beginning. The film's lighting, sets, and CGI were all cheesy, but if it was ALL in B&W...it would have been....something a little different. I think.

comment #5

Josh Massey says ...

Hey, come on now, this could be good. The source material is outstanding, and Sommers has shown finesse in his pre... oh dammit, cracked a smile. I used to be better at this.

comment #6

T. Holly says ...

Hope she held out for a truckload of money. I was just getting into her last year between "Factory Girl" and "Interview."

comment #7

Mike Ock says ...

I hear she signed on because Stephen Sommers knows how to END his movies.

comment #8

jeffmcm says ...

The problem with Wells's argument is that Sienna Miller is barely famous and I don't presume to think that she thinks this movie is garbage. Maybe she just thinks it'll be fun. A lead role in a summer tentpole-type movie is every agent's dream.
Anyway, I think Sommers is a much better director than Bay.

comment #9

actionman says ...

Lumping a TOTAL hack like Sommers in the same category as an action master like Bay is ridiculous. Say what you want about Bay, but at least his movies look nice.

I want to know: bullets or laser beams?

comment #10

DavidF says ...

It's gotta be laser beams.
Without the pink and blue how the heck will you know who is good or bad??

I dunno how they can make a decent movie out of this and I'm speaking as someone who still has his action figures in the basement.

If Miller is playing "Scarlet" and they do something cool with Snake Eyes mayyyybe it can work. I also have a soft spot for the twins(Xamot and Tomax?)and am waiting for a Sgt. Slaughter cameo to seal the deal.

comment #11

jeffmcm says ...

I don't think Bay's movies look nice. They look 'nice'.

comment #12

Craig Kennedy says ...

You honestly had me going Josh, but then I've lot all ability to perceive sarcasm online. It's like color blindness.

comment #13

StoneFan1 says ...

Isn't 8.7.09 pretty late for a tent pole
release?

comment #14

carla kolchak says ...

I don't think Bay's movies look nice. They look 'nice'.
Posted by: jeffmcm

jeffmcm, I know a website I think you will enjoy: http://quotation-marks.blogspot.com/

comment #15

BurmaShave says ...

Ouch. As for Sommers, I can never completely hate the man who made DEEP RISING, one of the trashiest movies ever.

comment #16

MovieBob says ...

Wells, Wells, Wells... Five or so years since "Return of The King" and you still haven't gotten used to this yet? Rule Numero Uno of film in this new age: It's not the material, it's the execution. ANYTHING can make for a good or even great movie with right approach and effort. "Transformers" was not destined to be absolute shite because it was based on toys, it was destined to be absolute shite because it was directed by Michael Bay ;)

Now, Sommers... is not exactly a master by any stretch of the imagination. But he's made two pretty good fun-time genre movies (the first Mummy and Deep Rising) one great movie (Jungle Book) and even his absolute worst (Van Helsing) is still ten times as good as Bad Boys 2, aka the best thing Bay will ever make. More importantly, he's well-suited to the tone of this material and who knows, it could be a decent amount of fun. Probably won't be "Batman Begins," or "Spider-Man," but if he keeps his head on straight he might manage a "Hellboy." Bottom line is, it's automatically going to be a hundred times better than Transformers because Bay isn't directing it.

comment #17

Mgmax, le Corbeau says ...

I don't worship Del Toro, but I'd say Van Helsing proved definitively that he could never make a Hellboy. Or anything else that isn't a frantic, jokey piece of crap.

comment #18

gr81lives says ...

WOW Toy Line Movies. What's next???? Wait how about a live version on Barbie And Ken in Hollywood???

Is Hollywood really that pathetic that we are now taking toys from 20-25 years ago and making the, movies??

comment #19

D.Z. says ...

gr81: The Onion had a joke about how making Transformers a success would lead to a "My Little Pony" movie.

comment #20

jeffmcm says ...

Thanks, Carla Kolchak, that's pretty good.

comment #21

thatrader says ...

I would totally pony up to see a "My Little Pony" movie.

comment #22

Dan Revill says ...

I'm gonna venture that if she's in GI Joe, she'll be Scarlett? Anyhow, Sommers made a couple fun films with the Mummy flicks...haven't seen Van Helsing though...and The Jungle Book is one of my faves. I love that flick. If he can bring that sort of spirit to GI Joe, well then it should be a pretty decent film.

comment #23

PastePotPete says ...

Nah, she's cast as the Baroness. Sienna Miller with black hair, glasses, and a skin tight bodysuit. I'm sold.

comment #24

thatrader says ...

"It's a relatively rare thing for a famous actress to take a role in a film that she knows without question is going to be absolutely despised by anyone with a smidgen of taste or refinement."

Except that Sommers had previously cast Academy Award winner Rachel Weisz in the Mummy films and post Oscar, she signed on to do "Fred Claus" and the next Ryan Reynolds vehicle, "Definitely, Maybe."

There are plenty of actresses who sell their soul to Hollywood for paycheck roles in between the art.

Hell, Nicole Kidman has made a career out of it post-Cruise.

I got a better idea, Jeff, why don't you name us a famous actress who hasn't sold out to do a piece of shit Hollywood film.

comment #25

Howlingman says ...

Count me among the DEEP RISING fans -- I actually just watched it again on the weekend. Unlike Sommers' later films, it at least knows it's supposed to be a stupid monster movie ... and it has an awesome closing shot and line.

comment #26

Dave says ...

Hmmmm.

I'm tempted to agree with MovieBob RE: source material, but LOTR is a bad example. The LOTR source material is phenomenal, meticulously written and researched, and so extraordinarily complex that it took decades to make movies about them. And I still know Tolkein fans who STILL think Jackson got them wrong (I really hate those people).

Now, when you get to really thin source material like Transformers, your work is cut out for you. But summer movies are all about hooks, and the only thing Bay needed to do with Transformers was rely on the hook: Giant. Fighting. Robots. Instead, I get Shia in slow motion and wise-crackin' Bernie Mac. Ugh.

I was a huge G.I. Joe fan as a kid. Had all the toys. I hated the cartoon, because even as a kid I knew it was a cheesy toy commercial (No one ever gets shot! Everybody parachutes out of their planes!). If all you ever went by were the toy lines and the cartoon, G.I. Joe would be embarrassing.

THAT SAID. . . the Marvel comics were pretty damn awesome for their time. Some great stories there in the first 100 issues or so. Characters like Snake-Eyes, Storm Shadow, Stalker, Destro, and the very yummy Baroness. . . that would be a very cool movie indeed.

Alas, it's being directed by Stephen Sommers. He's just a slightly less offensive version of Brett Ratner, if only because his movies are slightly less memorable. I may have it in for Michael Bay, but at the very least he has an incredible eye for imagery. What does Sommers have? The talent to make movies the whole family can agree on. . . when ordering from the Holiday Inn PPV during the stopover in St. Louis.

His stuff isn't offensive so much as. . . meh. Completely, totally meh.

And to ever call Steven Spielberg a hack in comparison to directors like Sommers is to completely misunderstand the meaning of the word.

comment #27

Burbanked says ...

thatrader above has got it exactly right; it's not a rare thing AT ALL for supposedly highbrow actresses to take crappy paycheck roles. Check out virtually every actress recently cursed by an Oscar, from Halle Berry to Helen Hunt to Paltrow, Kidman and Swank; they've all got movies in their portfolios that suggest contractual relationships with the devil. How is this rare?

comment #28

DavidF says ...

Damn - Dave just reminded me that I have like 50 of the GI Joe Marvel comics in my basement! (If Sommers makes a good movie I guess they go up in value.)

The show was jokey and when you think about the internal logic neither the comics nor the TV show hold up to scrutiny (I mean, it's one thing to have no dress code but the sailor dresses like a sailor and Snake Eyes dresses like a ninja and the marine has a huge marine logo on his bare chest....)

That said, there is something to the basic premise (elite fighting unit compiled of the armed forces' best of the best) that has potential.

They have to keep Scarlett, Duke and Snake Eyes as well as Cobra Commander and Baroness (not sure how Destro would look on film...). Setting them up in Belgium rather than Staten Island seems weak.

And Sommers is a hack who has made some entertaining films. At least a Michael Bay film is a Michael Bay film. He was - for better or worse - the perfect guy to do Transformers (what's funny is that he had to be convinced, as if a toy movie was beneath him.)

Lastly, I don't get dissing Transformers because you got 1 minute of Bernie Mac as if the rest of the movie wasn't giant, fighting robots...

comment #29

Howlingman says ...

All right, I'll own up as the two Daves have -- I was a devotee of the comic back in the 80s, and would argue that its first 50 (or so) issues were and remain pretty solid, considering they were just a spinoff of a toy line.

comment #30

Rich S. says ...

I'm actually old enough to have owned some original GI Joes. As I recall, in addition to all the military gear, I also owned a frogman set and the Mercury astronaut set (complete with a 45 single of Alan Shepard's suborbital flight).

The military GI Joe was scrapped when Vietnam came along and made all things military unfashionable. I don't remember much about the 80s cartoon, aside from the fact that it made GI Joe popular again.

Sienna Miller became famous primarily as tabloid fodder, but then had the talent to actually pull off a couple of impressive indie performances. I don't think she's achieved enough to get snooty over a big paycheck. And, even if she were...Catwoman, The Reaping, Aeon Flux, Constantine, etc.

comment #31

Glenn Kenny says ...

SIenna Miller's not all that famous. Or all that talented. "Highbrow"? Forget it. She's lucky if she winds up having Elizabeth Hurley's film career before wedding a Saudi prince and going into early retirement...

comment #32

Movie fan09 says ...

The only good movie he ever made was The Jungle Book.
He got really cocky after that and never really came down.

comment #33

Ogami Itto says ...

If Miller is playing "Scarlet" and they do something cool with Snake Eyes mayyyybe it can work. I also have a soft spot for the twins(Xamot and Tomax?)and am waiting for a Sgt. Slaughter cameo to seal the deal.

If it has a kick-ass fight scene between Snake Eyes and Storm Shadow, and the Baroness with those "Ilsa, She-Wolf of the SS" undertones, I'll be happy.

comment #34

Filthy Rich says ...

Sommers a 'much better director' than Bay? Clooney in a Sommers movie?

Stop smoking crack!

Sommers has NEVER made even a barely tolerable movie. Everything he does is excruciatingly, annoying crap. At least Bay has made a few good movies like The Island and The Rock. Even Transformers and Pear Harbour were at least tolerable. Sommers hasn't made anything worthwhile nor do his movies even have 1 or 2 worthwhile moments.

And Clooney in this movie? No frickin' way. Clooney has way better taste, the Oceans sequels notwithstanding.

Clooney might go take a dump in the bathroom of a theatre playing this crap movie - that's the closest he'll come to being in a Sommers movie.

comment #35

Bocephus says ...

Please, Clooney doesn't defecate.

comment #36

frankbooth says ...

"If Miller is playing "Scarlet" and they do something cool with Snake Eyes mayyyybe it can work. I also have a soft spot for the twins(Xamot and Tomax?)and am waiting for a Sgt. Slaughter cameo to seal the deal."

Joe has a beer and cheets on his wife. Sienna gotta eat!

comment #37

christian says ...

Dave, you're talking about new skool GI Joe, which were Hong Kong manufactured mini-figures versus the 12 inch Joes from the 60's, which were made in America, probably the best boy toys ever made. I had many of the original Joes, my favoite being the Mercury ship and figure. I also own Snake Eyes, the coolest of the new Joes.

Here's an old ad and yes, they were prepping kids to enjoy Nam. Terrific battle!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WLL67CN2hnw