Uncle Festus and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull

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USA Today's Anthony Breznican has posted some plot details from Uncle Festus and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull, as passed along by producer Frank Marshall. The stand-out thing is the huge, caramel-tinted skull and those massive chompers, which appear to be in perfect condition.

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Posted by Jeffrey Wells on December 10, 2007 at 9:12 AM

comment #1

berkguru says ...

have ZERO interest in seeing this pile of crap

who wants to see this garbage?

Posted by berkguru at December 10, 2007 9:24 AM

comment #2

insidah says ...

Who wants to see a Spielberg directed action adventure scored by John Williams, produced by Kennedy/Marshall? Why, I do, you asshole. And so does about 90% of the moviegoing population.

Posted by insidah at December 10, 2007 9:36 AM

comment #3

murdocdv says ...

I will be there on Day 1. Harrison is a childhood idol, and calling him Uncle Festus is just wrong. From the stuff they have leaked, he looks fantastic for being 65.

Posted by murdocdv at December 10, 2007 9:36 AM

comment #4

Fred Mounts says ...

I want to see it as well. Jeff is just carrying on his tradition of belittling anything and anyone that doesn't match his interests or outlook.

berkguru is a great understudy, apparently. Don't want to see it? THEN DON'T!

Posted by Fred Mounts at December 10, 2007 9:38 AM

comment #5

scooterzz says ...

uncle festus?...when did the addams family move to dodge city?

Posted by scooterzz at December 10, 2007 9:44 AM

comment #6

mmlobe says ...

Recently, quite a few celebrities were said to appear on the millionaire luxury club "Meetrich.com". OMG!!! Are these famous guys fond of internet dating for now?? Maybe they are indeed so rich that they feel boring sometimes to need new things?

Posted by mmlobe at December 10, 2007 9:48 AM

comment #7

rocco says ...

Wells, when your audience disregards crap like 'Fred Claus' it should be a sign that your opinion is generally well grounded...but when your educated, discerning, film-loving audience expresses outspoken disagreement with you, you might take that as a cue to reconsider your prejudices...your unwillingness to bend makes you as rigid an asshole as any plaid-wearing, bible-banging, ID-believing, Iraq-movie-avoiding Iowan

Posted by rocco at December 10, 2007 9:52 AM

comment #8

storymark says ...

I'll be there first day. Probably the second as well.

Hell, this is just more standard issue post-baing Spieldberg bashing. Wells needs a new schtick.

Posted by storymark at December 10, 2007 10:08 AM

comment #9

Craptastic says ...

Find yourself in a consistant grumpy mood regarding anything Spielberg? Then try www.hollywood-elsewhere.com!

You'll find everything your jaded heart desires AND more!

Act now and you'll receive not one but TWO sets of our hilarious, commemorative bumper stickers:

"Down With 'The Beard'"
"Bring Our Stiffs Home"
"Harrison Ford = Uncle Festus"
"I'm Not Jeffrey Wells"

As an added bonus we'll even throw in a t-shirt that reads: "No Fat Chicks"

Call now! Operators are standing by.

(text on the bottom of the screen flashes: "Vote Zodiac")

Posted by Craptastic at December 10, 2007 10:30 AM

comment #10

Dave says ...

Let's be fair, Dellbomber-- high-thread-count-wearing, bible-bashing, evolution-believing Californians and New Yorkers *also* avoided all those movies about Iraq ;-).

Posted by Dave at December 10, 2007 10:45 AM

comment #11

DavidF says ...

The Uncle Festus joke is wearing thin. The only thing less edgy would be making jokes about how the Rolling Stones are old.
I mean, did you know they're playing ROCK MUSIC and they're OVER 60!!!??? Isn't that crazy!!

Ford might be 65 but he does not look like Uncle Festus. Shall we guess what percentage of Americans over the age of 65 are in that kind of shape??

Last time I visited your fair land I noticed that a few of the people have gotten, shall we say...portly. I don't know how many 10 year olds you have lest who are in as good shape as Festus, there.

This movie will:
a) Probably/hopefull be good
b) Make more money in its first weekend then Wells and everyone else who posts on this thread will ever see, combined.

Posted by DavidF at December 10, 2007 11:12 AM

comment #12

WJ says ...

I know I'll end up watching this film, probably at one of the $3 screenings at my uni, but I have very low expectations. I'm too young to have seen the originals in the theater, but even I know the thrill is gone.

I'm actually more interested in reading Frank Darabont's script than watching this Spielberg/Lucas/Koepp schlock fest.

Posted by WJ at December 10, 2007 11:14 AM

comment #13

berkguru says ...

I really feel anyone that is excited about this has low standards.

Posted by berkguru at December 10, 2007 11:14 AM

comment #14

DavidF says ...

Plus, I like that Wells is upset about the condition of the teeth on the skull as if it's, like, a real skull.

If I read the poster correctly (and I don't have glasses on right now), it's a CRYSTAL skull which suggests that it did not once sit on someone's neck. I guess the only way to know for sure is to go on the ride upon which this movie is based, right?

Posted by DavidF at December 10, 2007 11:14 AM

comment #15

storymark says ...

"I really feel anyone that is excited about this has low standards. "

And I really think that anyone who tries to look superior by deriding others for wanting to see a movie is a total douchbag.

Posted by storymark at December 10, 2007 11:21 AM

comment #16

Spicer says ...

I don't know who is worse, the fanboys or the snobs. I am really looking forward to revisiting Indy, but until I started reading this site I wasn't aware that Spielberg was such a hack.

Posted by Spicer at December 10, 2007 12:21 PM

comment #17

jeffmcm says ...

...because he isn't.

Posted by jeffmcm at December 10, 2007 12:24 PM

comment #18

actionman says ...

I can only imagine who fucking amzing Janusz Kaminski's cinematography will be in this film...

Posted by actionman at December 10, 2007 12:28 PM

comment #19

Howlingman says ...

"I don't know who is worse, the fanboys or the snobs."

There's no difference, other than in the type of mocie they're championing.

Posted by Howlingman at December 10, 2007 12:40 PM

comment #20

Howlingman says ...

mocie = movie

Posted by Howlingman at December 10, 2007 12:42 PM

comment #21

MAGGA says ...

I am a massive Spielberg fan and look forward to anything he does, but I have been sceptical of this. The pictures and poster are getting me pretty interested, though. I just hope he makes more movies in the vein of Munich after this.

Posted by MAGGA at December 10, 2007 12:49 PM

comment #22