comment #1

Walter Sobchak says ...

Love your candor and admitted bout of anti-snobbery. Sometimes it's just fun being a guy and watching shit blow up. Color me there.

comment #2

D.Z. says ...

I'll likely catch it at the Beverly Center, but the trailer for Blood Feast on Youtube alone is friggin' nasty! I hope I don't lose my lunch if I see it...

comment #3

Craptastic says ...

Dead-on, perfect review.

I was "AWWWWWW!"-ing and howling through the entire movie.

Loved it.

comment #4

cjKennedy says ...

Great, another one I'm totally out in left field on. This is like Juno for the testosterone set.

comment #5

Ross says ...

Wow... never thought you'd dig this flick. I had some interest in it when I saw the ultra-violent teaser a while back and I've got a soft-spot for Stallone.

Sounds pretty brainless and fun, there's something cathartic about watching people getting killed in nasty ways; even though I'm total pacifist.

comment #6

Richard_Stone says ...

The movie flew by in what seemed like 55 minutes. It's just too bad that the editing was so choppy. I don't know if the silly effect of the sped-up shots was desired or if it was their genuine best.

And they sure didn't waste any efforts on the script. "Well, I just finished getting involved in the random massacre of about 350 Burmese soldiers. I guess I'll go check out what Dad's up to."

comment #7

Spacesheik says ...

Great review Wells.

I saw RAMBO yesterday and it exceeded my expectations: furious, ultra-violent, kinetic with an amazingly somber mood throughout. I loved ever minute of it and was sad to see it end.

It isn't just one of the most rousing action films I have ever seen but it has moments of brutal elegance (i.e. the Karen natives running through rice fields avoiding mines) and no-holds barred brutality that exceeds anything in a mainstream film such as THE KILLING FIELDS(the village massacre)

The audience simply went nuts at the movie.

This movie will have legs, trust me. Bring on RAMBO 5!

comment #8

BurmaShave says ...

I think Spacesheik just took it too far. Is the ramp ready? Shark's in position?

comment #9

JohnCope says ...

I kind of envy the screenings you guys must have had. Mine was startlingly silent save for the man behind me clearly enraptured by the new Larry the Cable Guy trailer. Anyway, there was actually a weird (though maybe not so surprising)vibe of reverence running through that crowd. I picked up on something similar during 300. I expected a lot of hooping and hollering and what I got was a kind of dour, committed conviction or silent, consolidated approval. I think I would have found hooping and hollering less alarming. Lots of dads with their 9 year old sons, too. LOL.

comment #10

Mgmax says ...

Why Jeff, you great big hunk of low-thread count red-state mouth-breather man!

comment #11

Mgmax says ...

"Like an ultra-violent half-time show at the Super Bowl!" --Jeffrey Wells, Hollywood Elsewhere

I wish they'd out that in the ads.

comment #12

Mgmax says ...

Also: "Like Juno for the testosterone set!"

comment #13

Mgmax says ...

out=put

comment #14

Josh Massey says ...

Everybody is saying they liked Rambo "for what it was," meaning that it was just brainless action and no story. But hell, I really became involved with the story too - from beginning to end, I actually cared what was going on between the bullet bursts, not just during them.

I just think this was a near-classic action film all-around. It was certainly the most enjoyable movie-going experience I've had in awhile. The Rotten Tomatoes crowd seriously missed the mark on this one.

comment #15

Rich S. says ...

I'm glad to see that Jeffrey does do what I've always wondered about: plunk down his own money at a regular theater and watch a show with the mouth-breathers and knuckle-draggers. And he had a blast and thoroughly enjoyed the show on its own terms. Nice to come out of the cocoon sometimes, huh?

comment #16

EDouglas says ...

Even "Meet the Spartans" looks classy on that marquee.

comment #17

bb says ...

the reaction was the same at the Arclight saturday afternoon. not a full house but from the howls and laughter, I'd say everybody had a good time. Too bad they had to interrupt the action with the dialogue.

Stallone clearly understood what his audience was looking for.

comment #18

Breedlove says ...

I'm amazed at how many people with good taste are loving this movie...I'm a guy who likes mindless violence as much as the next guy, but this just looks incredibly boring. I never got attached to these movies as a kid. Sylvester Fucking Stallone running around killing people in the jungle for 90 minutes? I just can't imagine I'd like this and yet everyone seems to. Didn't give a shit about his new Rocky either. I will give Stallone major props career-wise for playing the only 2 cards he had left with these two franchises, directing them himself, and apparently doing a good job. He's not a stupid man, clearly...I wonder where he goes from here. Have these two movies done well enough where he'll start getting some offers again? I never understood how a guy could go from making 20 mill a film to his career being completely over in a couple years anyway.

comment #19

jesse says ...

Breedlove, usually I wouldn't want to encourage pre-judgment on this one, especially because I have no problems with Stallone running around killing people for ninety minutes... but I also have no idea what people are talking about when they say the Rotten Tomatoes crowd "missed the boat." First of all, Josh, you were invested in the story? The pizza-box non-Rambo characters? I admit that some of the additional mercenaries were pretty cool, but they had about half a character trait apiece.

All that's fine. I didn't really mind that the first half-hour had clunky dialogue and even some bad blocking; I was expecting a good B-movie. It sort of delivers that for awhile, but -- SPOILER ALERT? I mean this isn't really a surprise -- that endless scene where Rambo Stallone is blowing apart hundreds of guys with a machine gun and Director Stallone films it like he's making Saving Private Ryan? It just became numbing after awhile -- and I'm fine with gratuitous violence. I also saw TEETH this weekend and had a grand ol' time. Gore does not bother me. I liked seeing Rambo sneaking around in the dark and killing people ambush-style. But this all-out battle stuff? It's like one of those CGI Lord of the Rings battles but with a thousand times more squibs. Not suspenseful, and not much fun, either.

My audience, too, was filled with a lot of hooting and hollering and hell-yeahing... and I wanted to feel with it, but I didn't. Maybe it was the way they made that evil murderous general a homosexual pedophile too, and how that inspired someone in my audience encourage Rambo to "KILL THAT FAGGOT!"... it just left a bad taste in my mouth.

I know that's not the movie's fault but... well, actually, scratch that, it kinda is the movie's fault since that trait only serves to encourage bloodlust later. Kinda gross.

I actually watched FIRST BLOOD for the first time recently and really enjoyed it; that movie makes it easy to enjoy its more ridiculous aspects alongside some really well-done action sequences. This new one... blergh.

comment #20

actionman says ...

I am on the fence with this movie. I am always down for some R-rated action movie violence, but Rambo looks so cheesy...I don't know...I am sure I will catch it.

I had the chance to see Cloverfield (again), this time at the Paramount theater. Holy shit is that theater loud!

comment #21

christian says ...

What I liked about the action scenes tho is that there's some clear choreography going on, and not just random ADD editing. The battle scenes are kinetic. SPOILERS: I do wish the abused women of the film would have gotten a chance to take out some of the Burmese. At least the female missionary.

comment #22

Josh Massey says ...

I absolutely loved it, yes. Beginning to end, unapologetically. That first scene on the boat with the mercenaries was a little painful, but almost every scene surrounding it was spot-on.

Stallone managed, in my mind, to make the carnage justifiable, and that was through the story. (Compare it to the violence of First Blood II, when any excitement was just from seeing the cool weapons and not actually feeling real hatred for the villains).

"Maybe it was the way they made that evil murderous general a homosexual pedophile too..."

Yeah, I'm pretty sure that was included so we would think Julie Benz's character hadn't been raped.

comment #23

Mumbleboy says ...

I haven't seen it yet but judging from the trailer I love how they used the "Bodies Hit the Floor" song and how Stallone mumbled through his lines.

Is the enjoyment people are getting from it at all related to the way it compares with the Iraq war? In the movie there is a well defined group of bad guys that can be destroyed without moral consequence but in this quagmire we're in, you can't tell who is the enemy one week and who will be our allies the next. The public might just be desperate for some no-holds-barred military might. Kudos for Stallone for recognizing that and making Rambo at just the right time.

comment #24

Dave says ...

The movie is exactly what is advertised. No bait-and-switch, no subtlety, nothing transcendent.

Rambo kills. Early. Often. Repeat.

The folks above who sound on the fence about it. . . c'mon, what are you expecting? Stallone knows his audience, better than most directors out there. First with Rocky Balboa, now with Rambo, he gave the core audience exactly what it wants. Was he supposed to broaden the appeal, try to get the women and kids and old people in on the films? You know what would happen then, right? He would have pissed off the fans wanting what he gave them, and STILL left the new folks bored/insulted.

Look at action/sci-fi/adventure movies over the last decade. Especially the sequels. How many of them fail to give the audience what they want? I can't tell you how many shitty Uwe Boll shitfests, Paul "not PTA" Anderson crapfests, Aliens vs. Predators vs. Anal Fissures vs. Ostomy Sex movies I've sat through hoping for someone, ANYONE to do it right.

Stallone did it right with Rocky Balboa, and he did it right with Rambo. He gave his audience exactly what it wanted-- nothing more (sorry critics,) but nothing less (you're welcome, fans).

comment #25

cjKennedy says ...

Mumbleboy, yeah I don't like to politicize stuff too much, and Stallone certainly wasn't trying to make a political movie, but I think there is definitely an element of what you say.

People like their good an evil to be clearly defined and in the real world it rarely is.

I was wondering this morning if I would've liked it better if I gave a shit about the missionaries. You know, if I'd had some kind of rooting interest in their survival I wonder if I would have been able to let go and get excited by the slaughter.

comment #26

MilkMan says ...

It feels good to let off a little steam, doesn/t it? After five years of being told that it/s not nice to kill brown people here comes Sly to give us a chance to indulge in a little blood lust. Because we rock and fuck the rest of the world. We/ve got exploding arrows and shit and what the fuck are we supposed to do with all these weapons when you kidnap and torture our pretty little blonde girls? We didn/t start this war but you can bet we/re going to finish it. So pass the popcorn motherfucker because I/m feeling nostalgic for when I was a little boy and I didn/t have to work a shit job and my dad bought me new shoes once a month, like my Dominique Wilkins red and yellow Brooks or my Patrick Ewing blue and orange adidas. Man I really wanted those adidas, I searched high and low for a pair, my dad always rewarded me when I did research, and I was obsessed with finding those shoes during the summer of 86. Wasn/t it so much better back then? Everyone was talking about Top Gun but all I wanted to talk about was Cobra and Brigitte/s long legs in that one piece bikini during the photoshoot/Cult of the Hand Axe/Sly and Reeni (sic) shaking down the bartender (Lee Ving/s brother?) montage. But I don/t want to think anymore. I don/t want to drink any more milkshakes and I don/t want to be stuck in subjective diving bell viewpoints and I don/t want to try and figure out what the fuck happened after Llewelyn was talking to that women at the pool outside of the motel. All I want to do is watch little brown men explode and jerk off to red carpet photos of Amanda Bynes, who, by the way, was totally looking to boff Ryan Gosling last night a the SAG awards and I hope he took her up on that offer. And that/s right, I used the word boff, isn/t like so Summer of 86 to use that word, and isn/t it so true that the Ghost of Heath Ledger is hanging out with Cobain and Phoenix right now at a pub located on one of the coolest clouds? I bet they/re looking to score some junk, 100 percent pure heroin made from the tears of angels.

comment #27

christian says ...

Yes, the missionaries were cut-outs, as were the villains. But maybe this is one area where political ideology is less defined, since the Burmese government is so singularly wretched. Most anybody who saw those monks get killed and brutalized have a gut-level response of justice and cathartic vengeance.

Or you're just a sicko who wants to see Burmese soldiers explode in gore. Guess I'm both.

Even A.O. Scott gave it begrudging approval.

comment #28

Bocephus says ...

I actually liked the first Predator Vs. Anal Fissures movie. The sequel was a huge let-down though, the "Predanalfish" monster should have been really cool but the design suffered from lack of originality.

comment #29

cjKennedy says ...

"All I want to do is watch little brown men explode and jerk off to red carpet photos of Amanda Bynes"

Ahahahah.

Playing devil's advocate here for a minute Christian, riddle me this: you recently said you saw Aliens as xenophobic, but how is Rambo any different? Mind you, I'm not making the argument that Rambo is xenophobic, so don't everyone jump on me. I will crush you with my high horse...

comment #30

Spacesheik says ...

It is not just the war, it's the PG rated action shit we been fed with over the last decade, everything being sanitized, TRUE LIES, JAMES BOND, BOURNE, ALIENS, TERMINATOR, DIE HARD etc -- even the LETHAL WEAPON series got softer, cuddlier and more politically correct.

RAMBO takes us back to the 1980s/early 90s when R rated flicks reigned supreme (COMMANDO, DIE HARD, FIRST BLOOD, LAST BOY SCOUT etc) and fanboys relished all the mayhem, when studios didnt re-edit flicks to PG-13 in order to attract the loud teenage, mobile phone-fixated SCARY MOVIE demographic.

We've waited for this flick for a long time. And the best part of it, it isnt cartoonish or campy, its actually gritty, vicious and very bloody, closer in tone to PRIVATE RYAN than RAMBO III.

comment #31

christian says ...

CJ, I wish I could give you a more academic take on the Rambo of the 80's and the RAMBO of today. Back then, making the Soviets the villain du jour (along with Columbian coke kings) was too typical. And to re-kill the Vietnamese onscreen seemed pretty tacky. Along with that, the era's dubious overripe flag-waving stuck in my craw.

Here, I just think Rambo is frozen in some non-ideological time zone. He doesn't care about anything. Until he has to. And then he has to kill. With arrows. And 50 caliber machine guns. He has to blow the bodies apart of rapist slave traders. He has to leave the compound awash in gore. He has to disembowel the villain because he is a bad man.

Because RAMBO was so much better than it had any right to be, I'm floating Sly some goodwill for delivering one of the best American action scenes I've seen in years.

And did I mention bodies disappear in a spray of red mist? Isn't that really enough CJ?

comment #32

cjKennedy says ...

I will say this: I wish Stallone had run amok with a .50 caliber machine gun in Enchanted.

comment #33

moviemaniac2002 says ...

Perfect review
Saw it this weekend with an all male audience
who simultaneously (as did I) laughed and gasped
through it all. The much riciduled Stallone
accomplished exactly what Rodriguez & Tarantino
failed to do - created a modern day Grindhouse
movie - taking us all down the abyss of primal
moviegoing - where we positively revel in the
full depiction of the darkest fantasies we could
ever imagine.
And (Spoiler Alert) the funniest, most wonderful
moment, of course: the namby-pamby wussie Missionary finally joining in the fun as he caves in a Burmese soldier's head with a rock.

Most disturbing weekend news:
The infantile short memory of people who threw down money to see "Meet The Spartans"...evidently
all them lobotomized since their viewings of
"Date Movie" and "Epic Movie"...and therefore
unable to remember what enormous steaming turds
those films were.

Most Unsurprising weekend news:
The huge drop of "Cloverfied" Abrams and Reeves
may have ultimately shot themselves in the foot
with the shaky-cam. While hailed as an innovation, I think the nausea-cam earned them
nothing but toxic word-of-mouth and a guarantee of no repeat business whatsoever.

comment #34

jesse says ...

I'm obviously in the minority on this one. Josh, Stallone "managed" to make the carnage justifiable? Gee, how did he pull off such an amazing trick? Oh, right, by making all of the enemy soldiers as insanely brutal and cartoonishly evil as possible. See every action movie ever made for other examples of this.

I can't speak to the accuracy of the cruelty (I'm not suggesting there aren't equal atrocities happening in real life), and of course I did, watching the movie, want Rambo to kill those fuckers. But I wouldn't give Stallone a whole lot of credit for "figuring out" a way to quasi-justify a massacre. Movies do this all the time.

Also, I'm confused by your point about the Benz character. Why do we need to not think that she's been raped by the general? Especially when there's any number of characters who clearly *would* rape her eventually? In fact, I only assumed she wasn't raped because I figured this was the kind of movie that would show me her rape if that was the case. I never thought "oh, right, the general seems to like boys, so there's no way she got raped." Also, given the widespread brutality of the movie, how is it even relevant to the movie's story if she's been raped or not (apart from basic human decency of not wanting to see her character get raped - though really, with the crowd I saw it with, I wouldn't make that assumption)? Because it's important to know that Rambo gets there first?

comment #35

cjKennedy says ...

You may be in the minority Jesse, but for what it's worth you're not alone.

comment #36

Spacelamb says ...

Best review ever. I can't wait until it's shown in Australia.