Just Look Away
Can you imagine being dead for 48 years, just floating around in some airy-fairy, non-material way, when a bulletin from earth suddenly punctuates your cosmic head-space? The news being that a guy named David Bret has nailed you in a book for having had halitosis, hepatitis, rotting teeth and "shovel-like" hands? I don't know that these and similar revelations concerning Clark Gable's life are things that I need to know. I can deal with his halitosis (read about it years ago) but that's as far as I'd like to go, thanks.
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Posted by Jeffrey Wells on March 29, 2008 at 4:22 PM
comment #1
Pinko Punko
says ...
I thought the halitosis stuff was ultra-old news?
Posted by Pinko Punko
at March 29, 2008 5:00 PM
comment #2
gruver1
says ...
Wells to Pinko Punko: Uhhhn, yeah. That's what I sorta kinda meant by saying the "I read about [the halitosis stuff] years ago."
Posted by gruver1
at March 29, 2008 5:16 PM
comment #3
cinefan
says ...
I remember reading somewhere that Vivien Leigh hated kissing Gable for Gone in the Wind because his breath was so atrocious (guess Carole Lombard didn't mind it, though).
Posted by cinefan
at March 29, 2008 6:37 PM
comment #4
cinefan
says ...
meant to say Gone with the Wind.
Posted by cinefan
at March 29, 2008 6:38 PM
comment #5
berkguru
says ...
Wells your pic on here would be a dead ringer for him with a mustache
Posted by berkguru
at March 29, 2008 6:44 PM
comment #6
MickTravis
says ...
So I guess what you're saying, frankly, is that you don't give a damn?
Posted by MickTravis
at March 29, 2008 7:15 PM
comment #7
sugar3
says ...
I always thought Wells looked like a more dashing and less neurotic version of David Lynch.
Posted by sugar3
at March 29, 2008 8:07 PM
comment #8
MilkMan
says ...
Jimmy Steward had a spastic colon.
Spencer Tracy ate his own ear wax.
Cary Grant drank his morning coffee out of a baby bottle.
Bette Davis could perform auto-lingus.
Timothy Carey ate the boogers he found on the underside of the restaurant tabled.
Rock Hudson did not have toenails.
Lee Marvin used to drive out to Leo Carrillo state beach so he could cry at the sunset, alone.
Richard Burton vomited at the sight of pink shoes.
Katherine Hepburn used to cup her own farts, smell them, and proclaim, These are the best scrambled eggs I've ever had.
Shelley Winters wore a diaper until she was 36 years old.
Marilyn Monroe wiped incorrectly, front back to front.
Doris Day owns the largest collection of Stalinist memoribilia west of the Rocky Mountains.
William Holden drank his own piss.
Posted by MilkMan
at March 29, 2008 8:07 PM
comment #9
berkguru
says ...
Milkman your posts are classic
Posted by berkguru
at March 29, 2008 10:17 PM
comment #10
austin111
says ...
The rotting teeth would decidedly explain the halitosis. Shovel-like hands -- er, so what????
Hepatitis? Not a good choice for blood transfusions, but then it depends on what kind of Hepatitis we're talking here.
These are issues that may have affected his personal life, but had no effect whatsoever on his film stardom and the effects it had on millions.
Posted by austin111
at March 29, 2008 10:34 PM
comment #11
Pinko Punko
says ...
I don't remember reading that remark when I read your post on RSS.
However, what I meant to say was wasn't the Spencer Tracy eating his own earwax thing old news?
MilkMan deserves a fucking medal for transcending the genre. I'd like to see that acceptance speech. He'd both make the entire process seem worthless, yet his speech would make it worthwhile. There's no way to beat that guy.
Posted by Pinko Punko
at March 29, 2008 10:57 PM
comment #12
adaml
says ...
Everyone knows Wells is a ringer for Christopher Walken.
Posted by adaml
at March 30, 2008 3:44 AM
comment #13
Dellos
says ...
so the guy saw Gable and Lombard and heard various dvd commentary tracks. sorry kid thats not worth $ 35 bucks to me.
Posted by Dellos
at March 30, 2008 4:45 AM
comment #14
Rich S.
says ...
This just in: Clark Gable was also rumored to have big ears. I hear Nancy Grace is investigating.
Posted by Rich S.
at March 30, 2008 5:16 AM
comment #15
Admiral82
says ...
Nancy Grace can investigate my balls.
She pisses me off....
Posted by Admiral82
at March 30, 2008 6:00 AM
comment #16
vp19
says ...
Gable may have had his foibles, but he also had charm, and plenty of it -- if he didn't, I can't imagine why Carole Lombard would've been attracted to him. Evidently, this author doesn't realize the value of charm, or thinks human beings are complete slaves to their libidos. Shame on him.
Posted by vp19
at March 30, 2008 10:35 AM
comment #17
filmradar.com
says ...
This book is poorly researched and filled with lies. This author is clearly out for a buck and not a legitimate historian or biographer. Gable deserves far better!
Posted by filmradar.com
at March 30, 2008 2:37 PM
comment #18
lindenen
says ...
Hmmm... if I was going to pick scandalous remarks from that article the bad breath would be at the end of the list... the very first sentence however is a doozy.
"David Bret’s angle on Clark Gable is this: Gable was “gay for pay†and “rough trade,†and he enjoyed having sex “for bucks.†In addition, he “would sometimes scrub his penis until it bled†and used a device to prolong erections."
I wish there'd been an episode of Seinfeld where Elaine leaves her boyfriend due to the harshness of his penis scrubbing.
Posted by lindenen
at March 30, 2008 3:50 PM
comment #19
miksol
says ...
shovel-like hands can be medically treated
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at August 25, 2010 11:51 AM
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