comment #1

Arran says ...

Yes, let's argue about the state of Segel's penis now. That's not crazy and obssessive.

comment #2

bmcintire says ...

He seems to have as big a problem with the slightness of the "pretty boys" as well, forgetting that teen and pre-teen girls are always drawn to the near-asexuality of safe, semi-masculine boys. But apparently Jeff doesn't have a problem with pixie-ish TigerBeat guys getting tail. Unless they are Shia LeBeouf.

comment #3

sunny says ...

As a woman, I'm tired of the tiny, pretty twinks and the schlubby tubs who pass for leading men in Hollywood today. I can go to the supermarket to see those types, why the hell would I want to see them up on screen? Objects of fantasy, they are not. Isn't that part of what the "dream factory" is all about?

The author of the Times piece makes an extremely salient point-that some of these movies would have been successful even without some of these dweebs.Anybody could have played Spiderman. I for one would have gone to see it in the theater if Heath Ledger had been playing him.

comment #4

Jay T. says ...

I'm sure Segal would have gone for the errect penis look if the MPAA had allowed it... okay, this is getting ridiculous. The biggest hole in this whole debate is the cherry-picking of movies and then applying them to all Hollywood films.

comment #5

Mjs says ...

Sunny,

About one in five of the big pictures released have one of the "tiny, pretty twinks and the schlubby tubs" starring in them. I don't care for fat chicks, or skeleton chicks like Keira Knightley. So if I'm looking for a hot chick on screen, I avoid those movies and go check out a Scarlett Johansson flick.

comment #6

Adonis says ...

Um, if Wells keeps posting about how male actors look naked... does that make him gay?

I was going to say 'yes' before I put all the evidence together... Now I'm going to say 'no,' but it does make strange.

comment #7

MAGGA says ...

What we need is a shaved 13-inch erect cock that could spraypaint an entire street with jizzy goodness. Then Wells will have his much vaunted masculinity on-screen. Otherwise, keep human bodies off the screen, because the thought of normal people having genitals or any kind of a sex life is abnormal and obscene. Also, the woman in the film are like so much more attractive than people you can meet in real life. They are totally like complete fantasies and not possible for people like the dude in the movie to fuck with his real-life penis.

comment #8

televisiontears says ...

Adonis, I think you're actually on the right track. This obsession used to be somewhat puzzling to me until I realized how blatantly, latently gay it is. Not that there's anything wrong with that.

But I'm not kidding. It's hilarious. Isn't the whole "issue" that these actors aren't sexy enough for Wells' (and others) standards? Now here comes Goodwin, with a brilliant pullquote about Segel's supposedly unimpressive schlong (haven't seen it - the film that is), essentially wishing it to be erect, throbbing, and very, very ready.

This is natural Freudian comedy at its finest, ladies and gents. Enjoy it, and keep 'em coming, Wells (no pun intended).

He "gets it", all right.

comment #9

Jay T. says ...

I know it's been said before, but man, you've really got to stop using "galumph" improperly. It's a VERB.

comment #10

Hallick says ...

He gets what right alright? The bow-down-before-me masculinity of Segal's character has never been a claim this film has tried to make here, so why is this even part of the whole manly-man discussion? Holy shit, a beta male (more like a gamma...no, that's The Hulk or a sorority sister) got a pretty girl in a comedy. Well thank god we have staffers for the London Times (major macho bastion that it most certainly is) keeping that crap in check by pinning all of his voyeuristic hopes for the masculinity in American movies today on the one about a shlub who wore the same pair of sweat pants for seven days straight. They soooooo were hoping that a Playgirl centerfold deal would come through for the extra pud pub, weren't they?

comment #11

gansibele says ...

Really, a small-dick rant by a member of the British press no less. I can bullshit though. The nude scenes are cut too fast for anybody to get a real look. My own impression is that while Segel is no John Holmes, he isn't Sasgaard or Mortensen either -but hey, Viggo was all wiry and macho-man, so not a peep from Jeff.

(Before any of you infantile minds pipes up, I'm straight and packing 10 inches. So there).

Anyway, the biggest BS is ascribing a whole trend to four movies -comedies!- and a small one-trick-pony group of actors/writers. There's Will Smith of course, and Daniel Craig, Matt Damon, Eric Bana, Clive Owen, Evan McGregor, Hugh Jackman, Chris Evans, James Marsden, James Franco, Edward Norton and a long list of other Hollywood-look stars. Even Adrien Brody and Tobey Mcguire got six packs when needed. Squared-jawed masculinity is alive and well in the movies, except in the view of a few critics traipsing all over themselves trying to make the latest trascendental pronouncement.

comment #12

Rich S. says ...

"Viggo was all wiry and macho-man, so not a peep from Jeff."

Oh, he may not have commented on Viggo's size, but he most certainly did criticize the hell out of the movie itself. He called it "Cronenberg's Penis Movie" right up until the Academy Awards.

For those of you tossing around the Freudian implications of all this, don't forget that Jeffrey is also obsessed with shoes. That's got to count for something.

comment #13

ElstonGunnAICN says ...

Jeff, you may enjoy this. It's a week old, but I haven't seen it posted here yet:

http://www.cracked.com/blog/2008/04/21/how-to-make-your-own-judd-apatow-movie/

comment #14

Jay T. says ...

Good point about it being absurd for a brit to write this article. I love London and all, and the people are nice, but in terms of fashion and body types, a huge percentage of the guys there are some of the least masculine you'll see anywhere. It's like the male version of the stick girl.

comment #15

Edward says ...

All this talk about "Segel's member" almost makes me more curious to see the film. My God, I must be gay!