Michel Shane and Anthony Romano (I Robot, Catch Me if You Can) managed to get Variety's Dave McNary to write about how they're developing Lifeboat 13, which is based on the WWII story of the four chaplains of different faiths who gave their lives during the 1943 sinking of the Dorchester after it was torpedoed by a German sub.

Read these two summaries of the four chaplains saga -- -- Wikipedia's and this other hokey one -- and tell me where the movie is. Wartime self-sacrifice deservedly wins medals, but a willingness to die so that other might live does not make for an interesting story in and of itself. Touching, yes, but certainly sad, but in a generic wartime sense. Their sacrifice lacks intimacy and therefore meaning, I would argue. Leonardo DiCaprio's Jack Dawson realizing Kate Winslet's Rose has to float on the wooden chest alone or they'll both die of hypothermia has that element. Four men of the cloth helping and saving others from death is the stuff of war monuments, not movies.
On top of which the basic bones of the four chaplains story are nowhere near as interesting as the story used for Abandon Ship! (or Seven Waves Away), a 1957 black-and-white Tyrone Power film about a shipwrecked captain forced to order survivors out of an overcrowded lifeboat in order to save most of the others. Now that's a story! And there's no way this sappy four chaplains movie will be half as interesting as Alfred Hitchcock's Lifeboat. Walter Slezak's character alone makes that film play nearly as well today as ti did in '43.
So no intended offense but my advice to Shane and Romano is to pull the plug on their project. Forget it. The only people who might want to see a movie about the four chaplains being God's good samaritans and then willingly freezing and drowning to death so that some of their fellow soldiers might live (even though dozens died anyway from hypothermia when they went into the water) will be the over-60 crowd and John McCain voters...maybe.

Posted by Jeffrey Wells on April 21, 2008 at 2:36 PM
comment #1
PerfectTommy
says ...
Right on, Jeff. People over 60 shouldn't have movies made for them. They shouldn't be allowed to go to the movies. And if they only got the McCain voters to go the theater, even if things go badly for the old guy in November, that would only be 40 million people. What a disaster that would be for the film makers.
Posted by PerfectTommy
at April 21, 2008 4:32 PM
comment #2
lazespud
says ...
I can hardly believe I'm reading those comments Jeff. Movies based on real life events all the time; and whether they are stirring, boring, interesting, exciting, etc, are always about the implementation and executuion. At this point there is simply no way to tell whether this is going to be great or crapola. Certainly nothing at this point would seem to inspire the headline "Dullness, Dullness."
It almost reads like you're upset that they "managed to get" coverage in Variety...
Posted by lazespud
at April 21, 2008 4:39 PM
comment #3
shawn
says ...
True fact: during the Rat Pack Summit and the shoot of "Ocean's 11," Sinatra and the boys took a night to headline a benefit for a group wanting to build a memorial chapel for the 4 Chaplains. Sinatra was said to have been very moved by this story.
Nothing to do with the film; just an odd factoid.
Posted by shawn
at April 21, 2008 4:41 PM
comment #4
Mgmax, le Corbeau
says ...
At least the Rat Pack wasn't covering for child molesters in Boston.
Posted by Mgmax, le Corbeau
at April 21, 2008 4:49 PM
comment #5
lionsfan
says ...
I cannot quite believe the ornery stupidity of Jeff's dismissal above of the Dorchester story. He actually presumes to set himself up as the arbiter, on moral grounds yet, of what should and should not be turned into a movie.
Really, this is Jeffrey playing at being a complete horse's ass, at his most dense and philistine. This, I fear, is why he's bly never on the short list when there's an opening for a film critic at a daily paper or magazine .
Posted by lionsfan
at April 21, 2008 5:14 PM
comment #6
gruver1
says ...
Wells to lionsfan: An opening at a daily paper or a magazine? In this day and age with the way things are? Are you 68 years old and without hearing in your left ear? I explained as clearly as I could(so as to reach even those with limited reading comprhension skills) that the basic bones of the four chaplains story is not interesting because sacrifice in and of itself is "more the stuff of war monuments than movies. Touching, yes, but certainly sad, but in a generic wartime sense. Their sacrifice lacks intimacy and therefore meaning." I then explained that the stories used by "Abandon Ship! and "Lifeboat" have much more going on inside. I don't know how else to reach or appeal to you, except to lament the fact that you really and truly seem to be a person of limited intelligence.
Posted by gruver1
at April 21, 2008 5:27 PM
comment #7
Wrecktum
says ...
Hey, they made a pretty great movie about the Sullivans. Give this one a chance.
Posted by Wrecktum
at April 21, 2008 5:31 PM
comment #8
erniesouchak
says ...
You can bet this won't get made unless the four characters are played by the hottest 20somethings of the moment. Or Eddie Murphy in all 4 roles....or.....
Posted by erniesouchak
at April 21, 2008 5:57 PM
comment #9
kidkosmic
says ...
To any rational human being, this post would be a "rewind" moment.
Posted by kidkosmic
at April 21, 2008 6:42 PM
comment #10
Hickenlooper
says ...
I tried to develop this story about three years ago and the studios told me the same thing Jeff is saying. It depressed me. It's a very moving story and a much needed one in these cynical, fatuous times.
Posted by Hickenlooper
at April 21, 2008 7:22 PM
comment #11
D.Z.
says ...
Jeff, Titanic came out over 10 years ago, and is as sappy as anything from Spielberg. Though at least Spielberg had the decency not to use Celine Dion for the background music of one of his tragedies.
Posted by D.Z.
at April 21, 2008 8:47 PM
comment #12
T. S. Idiot
says ...
"Are you 68 years old and without hearing in your left ear?" Add the elderly and the physically infirm to the long list of those earning JW's disdain. At the rate he's going, he'll hate us all by the time BO runs for re-election.
Posted by T. S. Idiot
at April 22, 2008 9:17 AM
comment #13
jany
says ...
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Posted by jany
at April 22, 2011 12:54 AM