edited by Jonathan Doyle

Cloverfield [BLU-RAY] (Paramount Home Entertainment, 6.3.2008) Disguised under deliberately goofy, yet deliciously edible-sounding, aliases such as Cheese and Slusho, Matt Reeves' Cloverfield was produced and rushed into theaters under an equally appetizing shroud of secrecy. From last year's incredibly elusive Super Bowl ad to the film's viral marketing campaign, Cloverfield had everybody scratching their heads and drooling in anticipation. Aside from the as-yet untitled title and the Blair Witch-ian visual style, the film's biggest appeal was the enigmatic creature who was last (un)seen hurling the decapitated head of the Statue of Liberty onto the crowded streets of New York City. All we knew about the mysterious beast was that it was big and angry. Now that the highy-anticipated project has come and gone, one question has fortunately been answered: Cloverfield was a major success. (continued)

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There's a pet expression that too many people use if they're excited and delighted about something very positive that's just happened -- meeting an old friend, running into a good friend by coincidence on the street, hearing good news, etc. They open their mouths, bug out their eyes, put their hands to their faces (or the sides of their heads) and say, "Oh, my Gawd!" Except they say it almost like a question, as if to say "if God is listening, will He/She hear my immense joy?"

I didn't really mean "people" because I've never once heard a straight guy say this -- ever. The expression is used solely by spirited, open-hearted women (younger women mostly, Carrie Bradshaw types, not very educated mall women, 20 something borough girls) and...I was going to say gay guys but now that I think of it I'm not sure they use it either. Do they?

I'm not exactly putting certain folks down for using this expression, but every time I hear it it's like chalk on the blackboard. I literally convulse. I look over at the person saying it with daggers in my eyes and say to myself, "I'm not going to mention this to your face, but you've just given yourself a huge demerit in my book."

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Posted by Jeffrey Wells on April 11, 2008 at 10:07 AM

comment #1

jackfly11 says ...

Most. Random. Post. Ever.

Posted by jackfly11 at April 11, 2008 10:27 AM

comment #2

gruver1 says ...

Wells to jackfly1: So...? This column is not a pure expression of a film criticism 101 mentality, or haven't you noticed? I can go wherever the hell I want with this thing, pal.

Posted by gruver1 at April 11, 2008 10:39 AM

comment #3

Bocephus says ...

I hear the phrase a lot. I use it at times, even though I'm a devout atheist. It just kinda comes out when I get excited about something. Also when I'm expressing sadness for someone, and "oh my god" or an "oh dear" go a long way when you can't quite find the right words.

I hear it used by all types, straight men, gay men, women of all walks, I think I even heard my cat say it once.

I live below the bible belt, maybe that has something to do with it?

Posted by Bocephus at April 11, 2008 10:47 AM

comment #4

siamesecat says ...

Surely Wells could save us a lot of trouble if he would just give us a list of the words cool people are allowed to use - and while we're at it, clothes they're allowed to wear. Then we rubes can speak and dress properly and avoid ridicule from hipsters like our host.

Posted by siamesecat at April 11, 2008 11:13 AM

comment #5

arteye says ...

Oh my GAWD, I just found out I'm not straightâ€”I uttered those very words when I saw the photo with Wells in it earlier this week.

Posted by arteye at April 11, 2008 11:23 AM

comment #6

jackfly11 says ...

jackfly to Wells - I get that and appreciate it. No need to scold. This is your house after all.

But the comments section also invites criticism and this is one of those arbitrary posts that I had to read twice just to make sure I hadn't missed your point. I didn't. This one came out of the lights.

Thanks for keeping the site interesting.

Posted by jackfly11 at April 11, 2008 11:27 AM

comment #7

T. Holly says ...

Can't you just see the daggers? Problem is, it's never with a capital G, except when you're giving birth or having sex. This site is the most critic friendly and the least fact-checky, conspiratorialist-wanky, social-justice hating, and craft-onanistic place for those who can't even explain what they mean, just complain nobody gets them or gives them enough love.

Posted by T. Holly at April 11, 2008 11:32 AM

comment #8

chicagodad says ...

I prefer "jesus wept." It's both archaic and satisfying.

Posted by chicagodad at April 11, 2008 11:34 AM

comment #9

rocco says ...

Wells, you spend so much time examining the traits and flaws of others....ever turn the lense on yourself??

Given your reaction to some recent and well-earned criticism, I'm thinking not as much as you should.

Posted by rocco at April 11, 2008 11:37 AM

comment #10

calraigh says ...

Or just 'Fuck me!'.That seems to do the job in more ways than one.

Posted by calraigh at April 11, 2008 11:38 AM

comment #11

T. S. Idiot says ...

Goldie Hawn: "Oh, my god. It's George C. Scott."

Posted by T. S. Idiot at April 11, 2008 11:46 AM

comment #12

Mark says ...

nemo says ...

"Or just 'Fuck me!'.That seems to do the job in more ways than one."

I always thought of 'Fuck me!' as a Britishism, something Terence Stamp, Michael Caine, or Bob Hoskins would say in full Cockney mode.

Posted by nemo at April 11, 2008 12:30 PM

comment #14

nemo says ...

Speaking of full Cockney mode -- Lord luv a duck!

Posted by nemo at April 11, 2008 12:32 PM

comment #15

calraigh says ...

How strange, I always thought of it as a particularly American expletive!I associate it with Vietnam movies, buddy cop movies and John Cusack.However I'm Irish, so what the hell would I know; I grew up with 3 visual cultures.

Posted by calraigh at April 11, 2008 12:54 PM

comment #16

calraigh says ...

And nemo?I believe even the most uneducated, uncultured person would be aware that that phrase has never been used in real life.Jesus,Dick Van Dyke really has a lot to answer for...

By the by Jeff, what're your feelings on the usage of the son of God's name?i.e. Jesus.Would your convulsion be 'grand mal' or 'petit'. Hmmm?

Posted by calraigh at April 11, 2008 1:01 PM

comment #17

bmcintire says ...

I find "Holy Shit!" a pretty common response for both good and bad news, especially in the unexpected realm (and underdog sports victory, winning at Lotto, the death of a celebrity).

Posted by bmcintire at April 11, 2008 2:00 PM

comment #18

bmcintire says ...

Very odd that so many of these pet expressions are religious, defamatory or not.
I will say that I prefer "Oh my God" to the neutered, pussified, Christianist "Oh my gosh" hands down. "Heck!" "Cripes!" "Shoot!" and the like make me fucking cringe.

Posted by bmcintire at April 11, 2008 2:10 PM

comment #19

bb says ...

Jesus Christ I'm gay!!!!

Posted by bb at April 11, 2008 2:35 PM

comment #20

Rodrigo says ...

You didn't really mean "people" because you've never -- ever -- heard a straight guy say it? You were going to lump gay guys in with "not very educated mall women" and "20 something borough girls" until you thought about it? WOW.

Posted by Rodrigo at April 11, 2008 3:18 PM

comment #21

CinemaPhreek says ...

T.Holly - I know of some people who would differ on just how thin/thick the host's skin is when it comes to criticism. You could ask them yourself - if they hadn't been "back door banned."

Posted by CinemaPhreek at April 11, 2008 3:22 PM

comment #22

nemo says ...

". . . Jesus,Dick Van Dyke really has a lot to answer for..."

I have some mental picture of David Warner's mother in "Morgan" saying "Lord luv a duck" while visiting Karl Marx's grave site in London. But hell, I don't know. I'm never going to subject myself to either "Morgan" or "Mary Poppins" ever again.

I would gladly subject myself to "The Limey" or "Mona Lisa" again to see if either Stamp or Hoskins say "Fuck me!". Though both those films could use subtitles in some passages for American audiences. "There's just one thing I don't understand . . ."

Posted by nemo at April 11, 2008 3:30 PM

comment #23

Jeffmc2000 says ...

I think I know what Jeff's talking about. It's not just saying "Oh my God", but more of an "Oh my GOOOOOOOOOOOOD!"

It's kind of more sung than said. And I have to say, I'm almost envious of these people who can display emotion so non-self-consciously. I mean, they're obviously frickin' retards, but they seem happy.

First post here, by the way.

Yeah, I know. Reading this site for however many years and this is the item I finally decide I need to comment on.

Posted by Jeffmc2000 at April 11, 2008 5:06 PM

comment #24

calraigh says ...

There is nothing that annoys me more than people saying British or Irish films need subtitles for American audiences.It's not their fault US audiences arern't curious enough to familiarise themselves with those cultures.The rest of us have been bombarded with US culture and speech patterns in film and have had to figure out what the hell anyone was going on about, WITHOUT subtitles.I think you'll agree, we've managed just fine.Maybe familiarise yourself with the relevant culture yourself and you won't need to ask for an unnecessary subtitling system on English-speaking films which you personally don't understand.In other words, cop on.

Posted by calraigh at April 11, 2008 5:39 PM

comment #25

nemo says ...

Calm down, that was a joke. Plenty of Americans have no trouble understanding the dialog in British, Scottish, and Irish movies, even if they have to work at it a bit. It does sometimes take the first few minutes to adjust the ear to the unfamiliar accents.

Americans aren't the only people who struggle understanding unfamiliar accents, although Americans are admittedly pretty parochial. I seem to remember that "Snatch" got a lot of comic mileage out of the fact that none of the British characters could understand the Irish Traveler accent of Brad Pitt's One-Punch Mickey O'Neill.

Mike Judge's "King of the Hill" also got comic mileage out of recurring character whose Texas accent was so strong even other Texans couldn't understand him.

Back in the 70s, the director of "The Harder They Come" seemed to think the rest of the English-speaking world couldn't understand real Jamaican accents without occasional help from subtitles.

Posted by nemo at April 12, 2008 9:17 AM