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Island Curse
Can a case be made for the Curse of the Hawaiian Movie? Not films shot in Hawaii (although these sorta kinda count) as much as ones that take place there. If you remove From Here to Eternity, Blue Crush and Punch Drunk Love from the equation, you're looking at one problematic, mediocre or flat-out bad movie after another for the last 50 or 60 years. With perhaps a few other exceptions, the general rule is "Hawaii movies = watch out!"
When I saw those hot hula girls in grass skirts handing out leis before a critics' screening of Forgetting Sarah Marshall, I knew it was going to be a problem. (And it was -- it's a lazy comedy about a witty but basically morose man with a big chubby ass and fleshy-milky man-boobs.) The word is that Ben Stiller's Tropic Thunder, shot on Kaua'i and the Big Island, may join Eternity and Crush in the exception column. Here's hoping.
There's something about the laid-back island vibe that gets into the blood of filmmakers and makes them lazy or unfocused or whatever. Obviously it hasn't happened each and every time (Point Break and the first two Jurassic Park films make the grade), but dozens of good people have fallen victim.
Moving backwards from Forgetting Sarah Silverman, HE's list of Bad or Fairly Bad Hawaiian Movies: (1) 50 First Dates, (2) Along Came Polly, (3) The Big Bounce, (4) Lilo and Stitch, (5) The Time Machine, (6) Dragonfly, (7) Jurassic Park III, (8) Windtalkers, (9) Pearl Harbor, (10) Six Days, Seven Nights, (11) Godzilla, (12) Sphere, (13) Mighty Joe Young, (14) Waterworld, (15) North, (16) Exit to Eden, (17) Surf Ninjas of the South China Sea, (18) North Shore, (19) Farewell to the King, (20) Karate Kid II, (21) Black Widow, (22) The Day the World Ended, (23) Final Countdown, (24) The Deep, (25) Islands in the Stream, (26) Midway, (27) The Hawaiians, (28) Tora Tora Tora, (29) Bikinis in Paradise, (30) Paradise, Hawaiian Style, (31) None But the Brave, (32) In Harm's Way, (33) Ride the Wild Surf, (34) Diamond Head, (35) Donovan's Reef, (36) Girls Girls Girls, (37) Gidget Goes Hawaiian, (38) Blue Hawaii, (30) The Devil at Four O'Clock, (31) The Wackiest Ship in the Army, (32) Big Jim McLain and (33) Bird of Paradise.
Turtle Bay Inn on Oahu's North Shore -- a resort that's been permanently maligned by Forgetting Sarah Marshall
Posted by Jeffrey Wells on April 7, 2008 at 3:24 PM
comment #1
actionman
says ...
Lilo & Stitch was easily one of the last, great Disney animated films. I love that film.
The Big Bounce has got to be one of the laziest movies I've ever seen. No question on that one.
Posted by actionman
at April 7, 2008 4:33 PM
comment #2
alynch
says ...
I'm actually a fan of In Harm's Way. One of Wayne's best performances in that film.
Posted by alynch
at April 7, 2008 4:39 PM
comment #3
Aguirre
says ...
Once april 18th rolls around and viewers who aren't as vehemently disgusted by fat people get an opportunity to catch Forgetting Sarah Marshall, the collective opinion will have that film flying in the face of your theory. it easily begins the uptick for apatow and co. after the atrocious WALK HARD and DRILLBIT TAYLOR, and, man boobs aside (we can't all be Adonis's like you, jeff...), the film is winning and hilarious, with only a few missteps along the way.
also, you still owe me $8.50 for pointing me towards BLUE CRUSH, once upon a time... you raved about that silly mediocrity, and it boggles my mind that you still do. maybe because that film stuck to woman boobs?
Posted by Aguirre
at April 7, 2008 4:44 PM
comment #4
Wrecktum
says ...
Honeymoon in Vegas is mostly set in Hawaii, and it is awesome.
Lilo and Stitch should be taken off your list immediately.
Posted by Wrecktum
at April 7, 2008 4:45 PM
comment #5
tophertilson
says ...
On the other hand, LOST is better than most of the movies in the theatres these days.
Oh, and did anyone else catch Richard Roeper's review of SARAH MARSHALL over the weekend? He literally said something along the lines of "I want to fall to my knees and declare my undying love for this movie." Gee, do you think that's gonna run in a print ad?
Posted by tophertilson
at April 7, 2008 4:46 PM
comment #6
Mgmax
says ...
Well, like a lot of places the movies set there all trot out the usual cliches (see also: Mexico, Switzerland), but mainly, I suspect it's just because the cast and crew mistake being there for a vacation rather than making a movie.
Posted by Mgmax
at April 7, 2008 4:53 PM
comment #7
Jay T.
says ...
So far Sarah Marshall is doing pretty well on Rotten Tomoatoes... hmm...
Oh, and it looks like Wells is generating quite the fan base here: http://blogs.suntimes.com/scanners/2008/04/the_apatow_schlub_too_ugly_for.html
Posted by Jay T.
at April 7, 2008 5:03 PM
comment #8
rocco
says ...
Half these movies not only didn't take place in Hawaii but didn't even mention it.
Kinda reminds me of the scene from 'Orange County':
Well, you know someone else was involved in [Romeo and Juliet] who in some ways is as famous as Leonardo Di Caprio. And his name is William Shakespeare. And some great movies have been made based on his plays: Hamlet, West Side Story, The Talented Mr. Ripley, Waterworld, Gladiator, Chocolat...
Posted by rocco
at April 7, 2008 5:18 PM
comment #9
corey3rd
says ...
don't be ragging on the Elvis Hawaii movies. It was always cool when the local indie channel had their Elvis movie week.
Posted by corey3rd
at April 7, 2008 5:21 PM
comment #10
Geoff
says ...
Wait a minute. Can't we all agree Spielberg dropped the ball big time with Jurassic Park II?
MST3K status all the way.
Posted by Geoff
at April 7, 2008 5:25 PM
comment #11
Verhoeven02
says ...
Agree with Geoff on Jurrasic Park II. Speilberg phoned that one in. Remember the gymnast kicking the raptors via the plumbing pipes?
Posted by Verhoeven02
at April 7, 2008 5:42 PM
comment #12
Mgmax
says ...
Yes, a summer action-adventure movie with no fewer than TWO scenes in which somebody makes a presentation to potential investors in a meeting. Now THAT'S summer movie excitement for the whole family!
Posted by Mgmax
at April 7, 2008 5:53 PM
comment #13
christian
says ...
Max Von Sydow is quite awesome in HAWAII. But yes, I hate movies set there.
Posted by christian
at April 7, 2008 5:56 PM
comment #14
lipranzer
says ...
I liked BLACK WIDOW, but I like almost any movie where Theresa Russell gets to show off how sexy she is. And while FINAL COUNTDOWN is cheesy, it's kind of fun once you accept that. BLUE CRUSH, OTOH, I agree is mediocre, except for the surfing scenes.
Posted by lipranzer
at April 7, 2008 5:57 PM
comment #15
bmcintire
says ...
There are a few odd-balls on this list. I will agree that BLACK WIDOW was enjoyable (and as an adolescent, so was THE DEEP - for two very big reasons). LILO AND STITCH, aside from being pretty damned good, is a cartoon, so how can that possibly count? NORTH, while wholly awful, only takes place in Hawaii for a small amount of time. And how could you have forgotten the truly terrible remake of THE HURRICANE (1979)?
Posted by bmcintire
at April 7, 2008 6:46 PM
comment #16
bmcintire
says ...
And besides, THE DEEP not only takes place in Bermuda, it was shot there (along with Australia and the Virgin Islands).
Posted by bmcintire
at April 7, 2008 6:48 PM
comment #17
LYT
says ...
Freudian slip there, Jeff?
It isn't called "Forgetting Sarah Silverman", as you have it in the last graf.
Posted by LYT
at April 7, 2008 6:55 PM
comment #18
js1
says ...
My eyes must have deceived me. Jeff didn't ACTUALLY lump Blue Crush in as an exception to this otherwise sound movie rule. Eternity and Punch-Drunk, I buy, but Blue Crush? You gotta be kidding me.
Posted by js1
at April 7, 2008 6:56 PM
comment #19
Doug Pratt
says ...
Islands in the Stream may not qualify as a good movie, but I never get tired of watching it.
Posted by Doug Pratt
at April 7, 2008 7:16 PM
comment #20
iamjoe
says ...
Never say anything bad about The Karate Kid Part II again, Jeffrey Wells. Never!
ha. I liked Forgetting Sarah Marshall, it is what is it: a chick flick for guys. It doesn't have to be cinema historic. I mean really, we sat through so many of these. Its nice to see the girl be the bad relationship side. This film and Notting Hill anyway...
Posted by iamjoe
at April 7, 2008 8:03 PM
comment #21
siamesecat
says ...
The 1979 HURRICANE remake was filmed in Bora Bora, not Hawaii. ISLANDS IN THE STREAM was a Caribbean picture, likewise THE DEEP.
Does Wells think everything filmed on a tropical island is a "Hawaii" film?
Posted by siamesecat
at April 7, 2008 9:15 PM
comment #22
Dzayson
says ...
Shit, someone else beat me to the LOST reference!
Seriously, that show is far more exciting and spellbinding than anything I've seen in ages. Newsweek got it right a while back- television is kicking the movie industry's ass right now. I'd take two solid hours of LOST or 24 over any of the big summer blockbusters we're looking forward to. Including Indy 4 and the Joker movie.
Posted by Dzayson
at April 7, 2008 10:00 PM
comment #23
BurmaShave
says ...
"(And it was -- it's a lazy comedy about a witty but basically morose man with a big chubby ass and fleshy-milky man-boobs.) "
When did Wells turn into Frank DeCaro?
Posted by BurmaShave
at April 8, 2008 1:28 AM
comment #24
BurmaShave
says ...
And I'd have to second the TV statements. I'm just finally getting into BATTLESTAR GALACTICA. I know, i know...
Posted by BurmaShave
at April 8, 2008 1:35 AM
comment #25
Aladdin Sane
says ...
Burma, I envy you. I am leaning towards rewatching everything soon...probably once season 4 goes on break I'll do it. God I love that show. Best show still on the air (now that the holy Wire is off)...then Lost after that...other than that there hasn't been much to watch for me...except South Park that is.
Posted by Aladdin Sane
at April 8, 2008 3:50 AM
comment #26
lionsfan
says ...
"The Big Bounce," at least the original one with Ryan O'Neal and Van Heflin which is closely based on the Elmore Leonard novel as its source material, is set at a California motel. Not in Hawaii. And "The Deep" is set, I believe, in the Bahamas, a continent and an ocean away. Even "Dragonfly," to the best of my recollection it's about Kevin Costner trying to get to South America. wherever in fact it was filmed.
And why list movies not actually ABOUT Hawaii, but simply filmed there? That said, Otto Preminger's "In Harm's Way" is quite good, a dark, noirish saga of the early, iffy days of WWII in the Pacific theater when things could have gone quite badly for the US. It has some pulpy aspects to its plots, but it's also a film of genuine menace, and it seems to ably catch the slugging-it-out aspect of the naval war quite well. Even the Saturday night dance that opens the film (on December 6, 1941), its recreation of the period atmosphere is one of the greatest moments ever in a Preminger film.
Really, Jeff, ease up on the "Hawaii movie" syndrome. ("Blue Crush" was good? Seriously? A movie that posits a surfer girl and an NFL QB will hook up? Why, because it falls in wirh your own fantasies?)
Posted by lionsfan
at April 8, 2008 6:29 AM
comment #27
christian
says ...
Oh, and I love seeing the title BLUE CRUSH between FROM HERE TO ETERNITY and PUNCH DRUNK LOVE. You might as well have put in the Brady Bunch episode set in Hawaii.
Posted by christian
at April 8, 2008 10:11 AM
comment #28
pbjmahwah
says ...
Tora! Tora! Tora!
Posted by pbjmahwah
at April 8, 2008 10:12 AM
comment #29
Arizona Joe
says ...
Jimi Hendrix's, "Rainbow Bridge." That was indie cinema in its day.
The problem is the mainlanders forcing their mediocrity on the islands. On the other hand, where's the Paddy Chayefsky of the Polynesians? I'd be happy to watch his movie.
I'd love for someone to do a Don Ho bio pic. Who could capture him? Some things can't be duplicated on film.
Dreams come true
In blue Hawaii
And mine could all come true
This magic night of nights with you
Posted by Arizona Joe
at April 8, 2008 11:50 AM
comment #30
Hallick
says ...
North Shore was a pretty good better-than-you-would-have-exepected 80's B movie set in Hawaii that my friends and I liked a lot back in the day.
Posted by Hallick
at April 8, 2008 1:13 PM
comment #31
Rich S.
says ...
It's the Curse of Lono
Posted by Rich S.
at April 8, 2008 1:32 PM
comment #32
truefaith
says ...
That's right. How can Jeff forget about the Indiana Jones movies and LOST? I realize LOST is a TV show, but it's better than most movies out there right now.
Posted by truefaith
at April 9, 2008 11:45 AM
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