Discland
edited by Jonathan Doyle
Cloverfield [BLU-RAY] (Paramount Home Entertainment, 6.3.2008) Disguised under deliberately goofy, yet deliciously edible-sounding, aliases such as Cheese and Slusho, Matt Reeves' Cloverfield was produced and rushed into theaters under an equally appetizing shroud of secrecy. From last year's incredibly elusive Super Bowl ad to the film's viral marketing campaign, Cloverfield had everybody scratching their heads and drooling in anticipation. Aside from the as-yet untitled title and the Blair Witch-ian visual style, the film's biggest appeal was the enigmatic creature who was last (un)seen hurling the decapitated head of the Statue of Liberty onto the crowded streets of New York City. All we knew about the mysterious beast was that it was big and angry. Now that the highy-anticipated project has come and gone, one question has fortunately been answered: Cloverfield was a major success. (continued)

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Proof in the Pudding

If I were totally alone in my galumph-aversion to Forgetting Sarah Marshall's Jason Segel, would Universal have taken his face off the film's posters? Segel told David Letterman last Friday night that "they tested posters with my face on them and there was an unfavorable reaction to my face. I'm not quite good-looking enough to be the good-looking guy, but I'm not bad-looking enough to be the hilarious guy." Obviously there's a silent majority out there that feels the same pain.

All in the Family<< previous | next >>"Whuhht?...naaah"

Posted by Jeffrey Wells on April 22, 2008 at 3:21 PM

comment #1

lazarus Author Profile Page says ...

Come on, Jeff. Segel's a humble guy who obviously has no problem having a laugh at his own expense. He sure doesn't seem as cocky as Jonah Hill, Judd Apatow, or even Seth Rogen, not that those guys are preening cocks. There's no reason to keep hammering the point home.

The real question is, when is Linda Cardellini going to return to Apatow-world? In a rom-com with Jay Baruchel? Then we can complain about hotties winding up with scrawny, twerpy Canadian guys.

Posted by lazarus Author Profile Page at April 22, 2008 3:34 PM

comment #2

gansibele Author Profile Page says ...

Jeff discovers he's not the only shallow guy in the universe. Stop the presses.

Posted by gansibele Author Profile Page at April 22, 2008 3:39 PM

comment #3

televisiontears Author Profile Page says ...

Jesus, this is getting downright creepy.

Posted by televisiontears Author Profile Page at April 22, 2008 3:53 PM

comment #4

wayne76 Author Profile Page says ...

Let it go, Jeff.

Posted by wayne76 Author Profile Page at April 22, 2008 3:57 PM

comment #5

Rothchild Author Profile Page says ...

"Hey, Linda. It's Judd. Long time no talk."
"Yeah, it's been..."
"What do you think about being in my next movie?"
"Didn't you just produce a movie about me breaking up with Jason Segel?"
"Oh, right. Shit. Well, keep on truckin'. Enjoy ER."

Posted by Rothchild Author Profile Page at April 22, 2008 4:03 PM

comment #6

Richardson Author Profile Page says ...

"The real question is, when is Linda Cardellini going to return to Apatow-world?"

1 - Jason Segel was dating Cardellini after 'Freaks and Geeks'
2 - they broke up after she got more famous and he did not
3 - shortly thereafter, Segel began writing a script about a guy in the entertainment world getting over his break-up with a really hot actress who progressively got more and more famous
4 - Judd Apatow produced that movie.

I don't even think it's subtle enough to say "read between the lines".

Posted by Richardson Author Profile Page at April 22, 2008 4:06 PM

comment #7

Richardson Author Profile Page says ...

"If I were totally alone in my galumph-aversion to Forgetting Sarah Marshall's Jason Segel, would Universal have taken his face off the film's posters?"

You're supposed to be against the sort of test-marketing bullshit that leads to movies like 'Zodiac' being buried, Jeff. Selectively agreeing with the logic that marketers know what they're doing (especially about bullshit like this) should be beneath an intelligent person.

Posted by Richardson Author Profile Page at April 22, 2008 4:09 PM

comment #8

lazarus Author Profile Page says ...

I stand corrected. What's Busy Phillips up to, now that Dawson's Creek is off the air?

She's not very thin herself, though.

Posted by lazarus Author Profile Page at April 22, 2008 4:10 PM

comment #9

Richardson Author Profile Page says ...

I believe that she's on ER too, isn't she?

Posted by Richardson Author Profile Page at April 22, 2008 4:13 PM

comment #10

cjKennedy Author Profile Page says ...

Can I get you a new stick for beating the dead horse, Jeff? Yours appears worn.

Posted by cjKennedy Author Profile Page at April 22, 2008 4:25 PM

comment #11

lazarus Author Profile Page says ...

Wow, guess I need to start watching ER.

Alright, last shot: what about the girl that played Millie?

Posted by lazarus Author Profile Page at April 22, 2008 4:29 PM

comment #12

Zimmergirl Author Profile Page says ...

Seriously though? This is the kind of shit that makes this impossible to turn away from. I don't think there is anyone else out there so focused on physical details of people than Jeff.

Posted by Zimmergirl Author Profile Page at April 22, 2008 4:53 PM

comment #13

Jay T. Author Profile Page says ...

Jeff, there's a HUGE flaw in your logic in this case... as was pointed out in the comments above, Segel wrote the script based on his breakup with an attractive actress. So there's your "galumph" (man, please stop using this stupid word), in real life, getting the girl who is clearly out of his league in terms of physical attractiveness. His character in the movie is also in the industry but not as successful, so Segel's own reality pretty much eliminates your theory. Get over it. I'm completely with you that it doesn't work in Knocked Up because the guy is also a loser, but putting Forgetting Sarah Marshall in the same group simply does not work.

Posted by Jay T. Author Profile Page at April 22, 2008 4:54 PM

comment #14

The Movie Man Author Profile Page says ...

Jeff, please get laid, or sell your script or exorcise whatever this is actually about. Guys like Segel might get chicks because they're busy actually talking to them as opposed to worrying what the wannabe elitist blogger across the room is thinking of them.

Posted by The Movie Man Author Profile Page at April 22, 2008 5:16 PM

comment #15

T. S. Idiot Author Profile Page says ...

Segel looks like Judge Reinhold's even less interesting offspring.

Posted by T. S. Idiot Author Profile Page at April 22, 2008 5:23 PM

comment #16

D.Z. Author Profile Page says ...

Jay: "So there's your "galumph" (man, please stop using this stupid word), in real life, getting the girl who is clearly out of his league in terms of physical attractiveness. His character in the movie is also in the industry but not as successful, so Segel's own reality pretty much eliminates your theory."

Not really, since Segel might not have had the opportunity to get with someone like Cardinelli, if it wasn't for industry connections.

Posted by D.Z. Author Profile Page at April 22, 2008 5:29 PM

comment #17

Ron Lim Author Profile Page says ...

Ok, I'm getting it now. Jeff has totally been fucking with us for the last few months. He's just pushing our buttons. Oh, Jeff... you rascal!

Posted by Ron Lim Author Profile Page at April 22, 2008 6:57 PM

comment #18

Indeed Author Profile Page says ...

Im wondering if a person as intelligent as Jeff portays himself to be realizes that "galumph" is what we would call a verb. An action word. Saying "Jason Segel galumphs" would make more sense from a language perspective, but obviously that would refer to the way he moves, not his physical appearance.

Even if it was used properly it still wouldnt really make a lot of sense in this case.

Posted by Indeed Author Profile Page at April 22, 2008 7:37 PM

comment #19

Jay T. Author Profile Page says ...

"Not really, since Segel might not have had the opportunity to get with someone like Cardinelli, if it wasn't for industry connections."

DZ -- umm... that's pretty much exactly like in the movie, where his character is the musical composer for her TV show. Get it?

Posted by Jay T. Author Profile Page at April 22, 2008 8:13 PM

comment #20

D.Z. Author Profile Page says ...

Jay: But you're trying to make him look like an exception and discredit Jeff in the process. However, if he were not in the entertainment industry, would he really be getting anywhere?

Posted by D.Z. Author Profile Page at April 22, 2008 9:07 PM

comment #21

Adonis Author Profile Page says ...

I am Jack's utter lack of surprise

Posted by Adonis Author Profile Page at April 22, 2008 10:43 PM

comment #22

Richardson Author Profile Page says ...

DZ - Jeff is saying that it is unrealistic for Segel's character in the movie, who is in the entertainment industry, to get this girl. Jay is pointing out that, in fact, Segel, who is in the industry, got a girl *much* hotter than Kristen Bell.

Admit it, you just pretend to be the stupid character you post as, right?

Posted by Richardson Author Profile Page at April 23, 2008 10:39 AM

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