edited by Jonathan Doyle

Cloverfield [BLU-RAY] (Paramount Home Entertainment, 6.3.2008) Disguised under deliberately goofy, yet deliciously edible-sounding, aliases such as Cheese and Slusho, Matt Reeves' Cloverfield was produced and rushed into theaters under an equally appetizing shroud of secrecy. From last year's incredibly elusive Super Bowl ad to the film's viral marketing campaign, Cloverfield had everybody scratching their heads and drooling in anticipation. Aside from the as-yet untitled title and the Blair Witch-ian visual style, the film's biggest appeal was the enigmatic creature who was last (un)seen hurling the decapitated head of the Statue of Liberty onto the crowded streets of New York City. All we knew about the mysterious beast was that it was big and angry. Now that the highy-anticipated project has come and gone, one question has fortunately been answered: Cloverfield was a major success. (continued)

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Slumdog Millionaire

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A Christmas Tale

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Dostana

The Dukes

Eden

House of the Sleeping Beauties

How About You

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We are Wizards

November 21

The Betrayal

November 30

Who's Deceived?

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How barnyard dumb do you have to be to want to see Deception (20th Century Fox, 4.25)? The trailer tells you it's almost certainly a cynical, mechanical, one-note thriller. Hugh Jackman plays the Michael Douglas/Gordon Gekko figure -- the well-dressed, impeccably mannered skunk from hell. Ewan McGregor plays the innocent but randy dork and Michelle Williams plays... I can't tell exactly, but if her role amounts to anything more than just "the girl" I'll be surprised. Hold your nose, make the movie, deposit the check and move on.

If the trailer doesn't convince you it's a must-to-avoid, 20th Century Fox's decision to open Deception without any critics screenings should seal the deal. Except the under-30 idiot target demo never reads reviews anyway so it doesn't matter.

Which group of moviegoers are more clueless -- those definitely planning to see Deception no matter what, or those determined to see Jon Avnet and Al Pacino's 88 Minutes this Friday? Or are they the same demo?

The Deception trailer also tells you the film's been very well shot, which is no surprise given that it's the work of the renowned dp Dante Spinotti (Public Enemies, Wonder Boys, The Insider, L.A. Confidential, Heat).

Galumph Note<< previous | next >>McGregor's Fade

Posted by Jeffrey Wells on April 16, 2008 at 12:04 PM

comment #1

lazespud says ...

Wow Jeff. You are on a roll of pure elitist hatred. Obama might be "trying to deflect the elitist label" but god bless ya, you are embracing it with a fury.

Posted by lazespud at April 16, 2008 2:10 PM

comment #2

the king says ...

FIRST

I want to see Michelle Williams nude and sexy ... hopefully. Her nudity, although appreciated, wasn't sexual in Brokeback even though it was during a sex scene.

Posted by the king at April 16, 2008 2:11 PM

comment #3

the king says ...

Damn, missed it.

I won't be paying to see that hopeful nudity in the theater though. I'll wait and fast-forward through it on HD-HBO 'after dark'

Posted by the king at April 16, 2008 2:13 PM

comment #4

115thDreamer says ...

Oh, I think the "88 Minutes" crowd will be more clueless, easily. They'll be pulled in by the fast-paced trailer where shit blows up real good. The "Deception" trailer....um, yeah, as you noted, Jeff, really doesn't make much of an impression. Isn't this the Jackman movie that was supposed to include he & McGregor's character's visiting some sort of sex club? If so, you'd think that lurid angle would be played up, but no, the trailer just makes it look like a pretty straightforward thriller. Maybe there's a red-band trailer I haven't seen yet that makes it all look a bit more racy. If there isn't, the studio in question might want to slap one together.

Posted by 115thDreamer at April 16, 2008 2:14 PM

comment #5

calraigh says ...

X-Files, X-Files, X-Files, X-Files X-Files .X-Files?X-Files!!X-Files X-Files X-Files,X-Files and X-Files.
X-Files.

Posted by calraigh at April 16, 2008 2:29 PM

comment #6

BurmaShave says ...

I wish for once a movie with several working titles in it's advertising campaign actually went with all of them, in which case this should be called THE LIST: TOURIST DECEPTION. Or DECEPTION: THE TOURIST LIST.

Posted by BurmaShave at April 16, 2008 2:41 PM

comment #7

George Prager says ...

Wasn't Deception the name of a early 90s Goldie Hawn thriller where she got to act scared and scream a lot? No that was DECIEVED. Goldie hasn't worked since THE BANGER SISTERS. What's up with that. So wasn't DECEPTION a movie where Kyle Secor was a really annoying hostage taker (with the really hot Jennifer Rubin along for the ride) No that was DELUSION. So DECEPTION was that piece of shit with Jennifer Aniston from a few years ago. No that was DERAILED.

Posted by George Prager at April 16, 2008 2:53 PM

comment #8

MilkMan says ...

This movie looks like a remake of Bad Influence, which I saw at the Mann Valley West in Tarzana with a girl who was thought to be the biggest slut at my school. Maybe she was, but not with me. I even had my dad drop me off in front of the movie theatre and this was back when he drove a cherry red Ferrari. I thought that would score me some points. The only person who scored any points was my dad. He was the one who ended up doing the girl from my school, a secret I was supposed to keep seeing as how she was only 15 and he was 45. Is there a statue of limitations on sex with a minor? I hope not. This is apropos of absolutely nothing, except this movie with McGregor and Jackman looks like one of those Let-Me-Show-You-The-Seamy-Side-Of-The-City/Faustian Sex Cautionary Tales that were so popular there for a while in the mid to late 80s. I think my dad showed the girl from my school the seamy underside of the city, because last I heard she lives in Vermont with a guy who was found not guilty of killing his first wife.

Posted by MilkMan at April 16, 2008 2:57 PM

comment #9

Rodrigo says ...

I have to give you some kind of credit, Jeff, for being the most unabashed art snob I've encountered in any medium, either in person or in print. And "barnyard dumb" is as beautifully exacted a phrase as any I've read all year, so thanks for being such an articulate asshole. The first whiff of "Deception" stench, excepting its numerous shifts further and further along down the calendar chute before landing, inevitably, smack dab on one of the most annually notorious dumping spots of the year, was its title change from "The Tourist" (perhaps to avoid any confusion with "The Visitor," probably not) to "The List" (at least, from what I've read, specific to the film's goings-on) to "Deception," which may in fact be the most generic movie title of the new millennium. It'll be on TBS in no time.

Posted by Rodrigo at April 16, 2008 2:57 PM

comment #10

actionman says ...

I am down for a good, stylish, sleazy thriller every now and again, especially one shot by Spinotti.

I won't be paying to see this on the big screen but the sex and violence and mystery elements of this film might tempt me to Netflix it. If it sucks, I can just fast-forward to the naughty bits.

Posted by actionman at April 16, 2008 3:01 PM

comment #11

BurmaShave says ...

It's odd one of my favorite contemporary writers is a commenter on HE. You're a dangerous man, Milk.

Posted by BurmaShave at April 16, 2008 3:11 PM

comment #12

Mark G. says ...

Is it just me? When I saw the trailer for DECEPTION I saw a remake of EYES WIDE SHUT...

Posted by Mark G. at April 16, 2008 3:12 PM

comment #13

Indeed says ...

I would hypothesize that people would see this knowing how one-note and predictible it is for the same reason that people see Iraq war movies knowing how predictible they are.

They just like watching them.

Posted by Indeed at April 16, 2008 3:23 PM

comment #14

Edward says ...

Mikl, that was one great story.

Posted by Edward at April 16, 2008 3:23 PM

comment #15

Jay T. says ...

As a 28-year-old dumb fuck, I can't wait until I turn 30 and grow a brain... (not that I plan on seeing the film in question)

Posted by Jay T. at April 16, 2008 3:59 PM

comment #16

berg says ...

He was the one who ended up doing the girl from my school, a secret I was supposed to keep seeing as how she was only 15 and he was 45...

THAT'S THE Movie I want to see

Posted by berg at April 16, 2008 5:40 PM

comment #17

Nick Rogers says ...

Perhaps the reason for the title change is that Fox has a straight-to-DVD movie with Malcolm McDowell coming out called "The List." That they'd have more faith in that is fairly amusing.

http://www.dvdactive.com/news/releases/the-list.html

Posted by Nick Rogers at April 16, 2008 5:50 PM

comment #18

MilkMan says ...

It'a funny that Nick Rogers should mention Malcolm McDowell because Ewan McGregor is our generation's Malcolm McDowell.
Isn't he? That's what I heard somebody say. It was a guy in my office who went to USC Film School. Master's degree. Very organized. Likes to drink during lunch. There is a bar in the basement of my office building. USC Man has shaky hands in the morning, steady as a surgeon's after lunch. I mean, this guy is what you would call very determined. Says Trainspotting is the best British movie of the last 50 years and when he says it there's no point in arguing with him. He says the movie was a miracle, a confluence of people and aesthetics meshing at the right time. He told me this after he had downed two vodka tonics at lunch. Then he asked me if I had any gum. I told him I didn't have any more. I had a fresh pack in the pocket.

Posted by MilkMan at April 16, 2008 7:00 PM

comment #19

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Posted by bill at April 16, 2008 7:05 PM

comment #20

lipranzer says ...

"Wasn't Deception the name of a early 90s Goldie Hawn thriller where she got to act scared and scream a lot? No that was DECIEVED. Goldie hasn't worked since THE BANGER SISTERS. What's up with that. So wasn't DECEPTION a movie where Kyle Secor was a really annoying hostage taker (with the really hot Jennifer Rubin along for the ride) No that was DELUSION. So DECEPTION was that piece of shit with Jennifer Aniston from a few years ago. No that was DERAILED."

Well, there was a romance/thriller that came out in 1993, with Andie MacDowell, Liam Neeson and Viggo Mortenson that was originally called RUBY CAIRO, but later changed its name to DECEPTION. And yes, I saw this movie; it was on TV, and I didn't have anything better to do.

Posted by lipranzer at April 16, 2008 9:01 PM

comment #21

nemo says ...

"So wasn't DECEPTION a movie where Kyle Secor was a really annoying hostage taker (with the really hot Jennifer Rubin along for the ride) No that was DELUSION."

I thought I was the only person in the world who ever rented Delusion. Jennifer Rubin was hot. I think she's dropped out of the movie business, though.

Jerry Orbach, who appeared in DELUSION with the really hot Jennifer Rubin, also appeared the same year in DELIRIOUS with John Candy and Mariel Hemingway. Or was it DECEPTION?

Posted by nemo at April 16, 2008 9:55 PM

comment #22

fielding says ...

It never fails to amuse me when seemingly intelligent people write "statue of limitations".

Posted by fielding at April 16, 2008 11:10 PM

comment #23

bmcintire says ...

If this had been made ten years ago, it would have starred either Ashley Judd or Angelina Jolie. And Morgan Freeman.
Ah, progress.

Posted by bmcintire at April 17, 2008 1:21 AM

comment #24

Captain Midnight says ...

I saw the Deception trailer online last night.

The most striking impression I got was it seemed they gave a good deal of the movie away and it went on longer than it should have -- geeky guy with glasses gets tempted by slick handsome guy without glasses to join illicit sex club. Geeky guy falls for one of the girls he meets, but she may not be what he thinks. Some kind of set up, look like Jackman tries to take McGregor's identity with the glasses and frame him. McGregor realizes he's gotten into a mess and extols revenge on Jackman.

This is why my 12-year-old kid doesn't like to go to many movies -- he thinks he's seen it all in the trailers.

Posted by Captain Midnight at April 17, 2008 6:19 AM

comment #25

vp19 says ...

MilkMan, your story might indeed be the basis for a better movie than this drivel...imagine discovering that one of your high school classmates is now your stepmother!

Posted by vp19 at April 17, 2008 7:26 AM

comment #26