comment #1

EOTW says ...

Jesus f'n Christ, Wells, every time i think you've sunk low enough in your hatred of all people with any body fat, you go so much lower. I hope that they sat you between two big, hiry fat guys and they both fell asleep on your shoulder. Of course, if PSH was one of them, that'd be ok cause he gets a pass.

Fuck, a good guy like Sydney P. is gone and you're still walking around?

comment #2

NDH says ...

The French do eat a lot of food, but they sidestep the obesity problem by avoiding the kind of crap that we chow down here in the States. Or maybe they just benefit from using a lot of olive oil over there. Either way, they generally live a lot longer than we do.

comment #3

Spacesheik says ...

This thread has the potential to be quite entertaining.

(gets the popcorn out).

comment #4

nola says ...

Okay I do not call fat people whales but before I fly I pray that I don't have to sit next to a very large person.

I flew from Los Angeles to europe next to a very large woman who complained about the seat size as she ate non-stop. It's not a pleasant way to travel.

When you sit next to a very obese person on a plane your space is completely taken over. When you paying over $1200 for a darn coach ticket it would be nice to be able to sit in your seat not half of it because the person next to you takes up a seat and a half.

I feel bad for people who have gland problems. They are a very small percentage of the population. If you are going to fly and cannot fit in a seat you really need to buy two, end of story. The airlines have already increased the size because we Americans are getting bigger.

I don't think PSH is even close to obese. Chunky yes, obese no.

comment #5

Josh Massey says ...

Wells is exactly right on this one. Not exactly tactful, but exactly right.

comment #6

nola says ...

Also in Europe the portions are smaller and in the cities people walk more. The kids however are starting to get heavy because of all the newish junk food.

Despite eating gelato pretty much everyday and excellent food (including carbs!!), I've lost weight since I moved to Rome. However even with the weight loss I'm heavier than all my Italian friends. The women here are so petite, curvy but tiny! It's really annoying. ha

comment #7

renorambler says ...

"This thread has the potential to be quite entertaining."

Of course, that's what JW wants. Something to keep us entertained while he's on a flight from Europe. ;-)

Good thing I'm only 136 lbs.

comment #8

vansmith says ...

not as many hormones in the meats and they smoke like crazy...they could all use a few extra baths...

comment #9

Mr. Muckle says ...

So Doug Liman doesn't know whether he was arrested once or twice? He must have been stoned out of his mind.

comment #10

gansibele says ...

People in "foodie" France are so skinny because they can't afford to eat as much as we do. Check out the prices sometime. French food btw is loaded with calories, packed with cream and butter.

comment #11

corey3rd says ...

sometimes they arrest you and sometimes they merely take you down to the station to give you a hint that your ass isn't welcome in town anymore.

Nobody likes to be stuck next to Haystacks Calhoun. And nobody likes to be stuck with the five year old in the seat behind you.

comment #12

D.Z. says ...

Found a NSFW teaser for Zack and Miri through Dark Horizons... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xYm9NuDjgoE&eurl=http://www.quickstopentertainment.com/ytindex.html

comment #13

messiahcomplexio says ...

give him a break. Wells needs his hate like trolls need sleeping children's souls.

comment #14

Bonifer says ...

if you think of Wells as the Chris Walken of film journos, it all starts to fall into place...

comment #15

GLee2112 says ...

you know, jeff may look like an old lesbian but his take on fat people is right on the money. fat people are downright lazy and we're the ones who pay the price.

comment #16

SaveFarris says ...

All this talk about flying fatties and French food, and the director of Jumper isn't helping Michelle Obama's children.

comment #17

BillRamsey says ...

Wells, you are a parasite.

comment #18

George Prager says ...

I was pinned to a window seat on an Oakland to NY flight once by very fat man, who enjoyed a very large Suzy Q in addition to his in-flight meal. I'm sure he's had both legs amputated by now.

comment #19

alvysinger says ...

Wow, you talked to Doug Lyman about the "red-clay color of Uganda's dirt"!! Sounds like you're best friends forever!!

comment #20

alvysinger says ...

I'm morbidly obese, by the way, and every time I get on a plane I say a little prayer that I won't get seated next to an insufferable preening starfucking wannabe-inside-Hollywood washed up blogger with unresolvable body issues.

comment #21

Richardson says ...

I saw this posted in Doug Liman's blog earlier today:

"Getting on on Air France 777 now (1:03 pm). Before every flight, I cross myself and ask God Almighty not to seat me next to a movie blogger who thinks he's a journalist. I can see Jeff Wells in line right now, and I'm feeling a very slight apprehension about this. I'm going to block my face when I walk by him. There are thousands of people in Paris who like movies, but I've seen no movie blogs. You might expect otherwise in a cinema-loving city like Paris, but nope.

"Update: Got cornered by Wells when I got up to go to the bathroom. Made up a story about Africa which he found fascinating. Even when I couldn't remember whether I'd said I'd been arrested once or twice, he went with it. Gullible!"

comment #22

Rich S. says ...

Jeffrey sure does like tempting the karmic gods, doesn't he? I hope they don't lose his luggage again....

comment #23

renorambler says ...

Alvy...that is seriously funny!

comment #24

BurmaShave says ...

Is Lyman researching a film?

comment #25

BurmaShave says ...

Oops, Liman, of course.

comment #26

berkguru says ...

wells have you looked in the mirror lately?

comment #27

dcc77 says ...

You guys are pretty hard -- albeit hilariously so -- on the man providing a platform for your rants. Cut Jeff a LITTLE slack for supplying us all with up-to-the-minute info/gossip. Besides, my dad hates fat people, too, and he's otherwise rational. We all have our quirks.

I went to high school with Doug Liman and he wore a red, headwaiter-ish blazer to his graduation. He was always smart -- his dad was a brilliantly successful lawyer -- but Doug was always self-consciously bizarre just for the sake of being odd. He'd like to think he's a indy auteur but he's become just a hired studio gun. I don't expect his recent sojourn in several African prisons will add to his cinematic artistry. His last leading man was Hayden Christensen. Nuff said!

comment #28

berkguru says ...

Richardson kudos - laughing hard

comment #29

Bocephus says ...

Don't they make jabbas pay for two seats now? It's only fair that if your ass takes up two seats, you should have to pay for two seats. The more weight on the plane, the more gas you use. It's only fair.

I'm fat (bigger than PSH, smaller than Jeff Garlin), but I have an ounce of self control over my diet so I can still fit in a seat without causing discomfort to the people next to me.

Worse than fat people on planes:

1. Anyone who wears patchouli oil. Revolting shit.
2. People who have no control over their children.
3. Talkers. I'm reading a book because I don't want to talk to you people. Don't ask me what it's about.

comment #30

Howlingman says ...

And add:

4. Drunks.
5. People afraid of soap and deodorant
6. Blacks

[I kid about #6, I kid, I KID!]

comment #31

Geoff says ...

Anyone who's pissed off at Wells' fear of being squashed by a fat person has obviously never experienced it.

I have. Full plane. The stewardess even laughed at me as I made eye contact with her. The fat blob engulfed half of my body.

Fat people tend to be a pain in the ass sometimes, it's not like they don't know this.

comment #32

Rod32303 says ...

I'm a big boy. Have to ask for the extension belt. Can fit in a seat, but usually have to have the dividing handle thing up so the other person is comfortable. Usually apologize, and people, at least to my face, are way cool about it. Lot of muscle on me, and I'm, you know, BLACK, (loved it, Bocephus), so that might limit the comeback, but if you are courteous and respectful, and if you are empathetic with people, folk are generally pretty fuckin cool when it comes to big (fat/jabbas) people on a plane. If you are a pain in the ass, then I guess these comments are warranted. But pains in the ass come in all sizes and shapes and colors, motherfuckers. Just sayin'...

comment #33

Kim Voynar says ...

Bocephus, do you have kids? I'm betting not, because if you did, you'd know that a 2YO on an airplane cannot be "controlled." If they're having a good day, they can be find to travel with; if they're cranky, tired, or sick, not so much. That's life.

Kids, as I sometimes lament when my own are being rowdy or are wound up at bedtime, don't come with an off-switch.

That said, although I have a pretty high tolerance for kids on planes, having had to travel with my own on occasion, I also wish the airlines would offer adults-only flights to those who are willing to pay a higher fare for the privelige of not having to deal with screaming babies on 8-hour flights to Amsterdam.

Maybe they could offer fatty-free flights for folks like Jeff, while they're at it. Seriously, I don't have a problem with airlines making obese folks buy two seats. If your ass can't fit into the personal space you're paying for, you should have to pay for more. Or maybe they could offer "Big People" seats at a premium -- wider seats for bigger butts.

comment #34

Bocephus says ...

"Bocephus, do you have kids?"

Oh hell no. Hate them. So much. I was talking more about the 6 and 7 year olds with no sense of discipline because their parents want to be their friends and not authority figures. But I hate the little crying ones just as much, if the kid is that young, leave them with family or stay home and raise them. I guarantee that they aren't going to remember or appreciate the trip to Cannes.

When I was little, my mom used to knock me out with a valium before the flight. Now THAT is parenting.

comment #35

Kim Voynar says ...

Bocephus, do you have kids? I'm betting not, because if you did, you'd know that a 2YO on an airplane cannot be "controlled." If they're having a good day, they can be find to travel with; if they're cranky, tired, or sick, not so much. That's life.

Kids, as I sometimes lament when my own are being rowdy or are wound up at bedtime, don't come with an off-switch.

That said, although I have a pretty high tolerance for kids on planes, having had to travel with my own on occasion, I also wish the airlines would offer adults-only flights to those who are willing to pay a higher fare for the privelige of not having to deal with screaming babies on 8-hour flights to Amsterdam.

Maybe they could offer fatty-free flights for folks like Jeff, while they're at it. Seriously, I don't have a problem with airlines making obese folks buy two seats. If your ass can't fit into the personal space you're paying for, you should have to pay for more. Or maybe they could offer "Big People" seats at a premium -- wider seats for bigger butts.

comment #36

Kim Voynar says ...

Sorry for the double post, dog jumped on the damn keyboard and somehow managed to submit it twice.

And Bocephus -- I hear you. That's why we aren't taking our kids to Europe until the youngest is at least 8. Traveling by plane with kids between 6 months and, or, four or so, is the worst thing ever. I did it once, for a funeral, and swore I'd never do it again.

comment #37

PastePotPete says ...

I really do not understand the hate for Wells. Or rather, I do(he tends to intentionally provoke people), but I don't understand why the same people keep coming back for more and bitching about it. If you hate what he writes so much just erase the bookmark.

comment #38

Movie Watcher says ...

The clay on Liman's shoes were from the French Open. Jeff, did you go to the French Open? You were in Paris, right? i would have.

comment #39

alvysinger says ...

@PastePotPete: I don't erase the bookmark because I actually like much of what he writes and have been reading this column regularly for a number of years. When he writes about, you know, movies and stuff, which is supposedly the topic of his column and his area of expertise, I find the content generally enlightening and well-written. When he veers off into half-baked political commentary and a public airing of his own narrow-minded hang-ups, I find it offensive and juvenile, so I tend to comment on it. If he doesn't want to hear it, turn off comments or ban anyone who points out his idiocy from the site, totally his right. If that happens, though, I really will delete the bookmark.

comment #40

Adonis says ...

I just want to add that if Hilary Clinton had said what Wells wrote... or if merely a prominent Clinton support had, that Wells would have posted five tv clips and said that Hilary's the anti-christ.

... but only because he's a hypocrite.

comment #41

BillRamsey says ...

Can you be that stupid? GEE, WHY IS HATING ON WELLS? Trust me, this is a new low for him. The most annoying thing is that he probably doesn't even have the balls to say anything to a fat person. So he needs to Blog it. And no, I'm not a fat person -- but if I ever saw him externalize his feelings to someone in LA (by the way, when you see him in person, you realize what a loser he is) I'd knock him down in an heartbeat. I am so done with reading this site. See ya Hollywood wannabes!

comment #42

Zimmergirl says ...

Who was it that said something about popcorn? Wells only does this to bring in the traffic with comments. I'm stunned to see the otherwise brilliant Kim Voynar agreeing with Wells - or was it all that sweet Cannes coverage she got? Ew. This whole thread, is just plain icky. No one is defending fat people but I'd much rather sit by one than a jabbering pseudo intellectual who thinks he (or she) needs to speak loudly about everything he (or she) knows.

No, I'd rank airplane annoyances thusly:
1. Arrogant pricks who jabber too much.
2. A sociable person who wants to spark up a conversation constantly.
3. A irritable person who complains about everything from the food to the service to the lines - oh and the worst is the guy who is ready so that the second the seatbelt sign goes off he can bolt down the aisle and not have to wait. If he does have to wait we have to listen to him huff and puff and COMPLAIN.
4. Someone who listens to their iPod too loud.
5. Someone who must constantly talk during a movie or have the light one during the movie.
6. Someone who farts constantly.
7. Someone who snores LOUDLY
8. If you don't have a window seat, the person who needs to get up over and over again for no apparent reason except to talk to his friend in another seat.
9. Obnoxious teenagers who talk too loudly and must waltz up and down the aisle hoping to be seen.
10. Someone who drinks five vodkas on the plane and then starts talking. And talking. And talking.

Oh, it's a HELL of a lot worse than "fatties." That's why this post is so inane. And why it's disappointing more people don't see that.

comment #43

Kim Voynar says ...

Zimmergirl,

Look, I don't agree with Jeff's tone -- his obession with people's weight, hair, fashion sense and footwear is beyond me at times. I know Jeff, hang with him some at fests, and think he's basically a decent guy, however much he likes to rile people up with posts like this. I've never seen him say anything directly rude to anyone in person about any of his quirky issues.

I do agree with him, though, that having a really large person next to you on a plane is a major PITA. I hate flying, particularly long flights, and while all the fellow traveler issues you list are also beyond annoying, having a person next to you who's so large they spill over into your already limited coach seat space sucks. It just does. I'm claustrophobic anyhow, have a hard time when I have to travel (which is a lot) and having my personal space bubble crowded trips my anxiety trigger big time.

Honestly, if I ever let myself go to the point that my ass couldn't fit reasonably in one seat or I had to request a seat belt extension, I'd voluntarily buy two seats to be more comfortable myself, and so as not to crowd anyone next to me. I mean, do you like being crowded by a really large person on a plane? I don't know anyone who enjoys that.

comment #44

Kim Voynar says ...

And, for the record, my tolerance of Jeff on this issue has nothing to do with him linking to our stuff, or not. I've called bullshit on Jeff in my column numerous times, when he's said stupid stuff I strongly disagree with. I don't write anything -- or agree with someone or not -- because they choose to link to anything I write.

comment #45

DarienStyles says ...

It's disappoiniting that you feel the need to display fat-phobia, as people who are overweight, including the morbidly obese have feelings. I think you are a formidable writer when you talk about film, but when it goes beyond that, towards social issues like the Obama campaign (Clinton supporters viewed as scum), everything goes sour.

comment #46

Seal Pup says ...

"The most annoying thing is that he probably doesn't even have the balls to say anything to a fat person."

BillRamsey - are you implying that if Jeff backed up his fatophoboia by accosting rotund members of the public in the street and verbally assaulting them that would render him more worthy of your respect?

comment #47

dixiedugan says ...

I've gained fifteen pounds since I stopped smoking in January. Maybe just in case I'm ever on a plane with Jeff I should start smoking again.

comment #48

T. Holly says ...

Kim, where you here? #25

http://hollywood-elsewhere.com/2008/05/synecdoche_baby.php

comment #49

George Prager says ...

Fat people usually have other annoying habits. Sometimes they wear acid-washed jeans and spend the majority of the flight reading something like "Dress for Success." Or they insist they requested a diabetic meal and complain that they didn't get it, and then spend hours furiously scribbling in their journal about the injustice of ordering a diabetic meal and then not getting one.

comment #50

Kim Voynar says ...

T Holly,

Yes, I watched the press conf over the monitors in the press suite. Missed the encounter between Jeff and the producer, but when Jeff asked Kaufman about the script and it being available on the internet, Kaufman said "it shouldn't be out there, please don't look for it" or something to that effect. I'd have to re-listen to my recording of the conf to get his exact words.

comment #51

diesel says ...

at comment 10:

"People in "foodie" France are so skinny because they can't afford to eat as much as we do. "

mmm... what? so, you're saying that it is a question of money, not choice. what are you, an obese idiot, trying to justify your fatty fucked up lifestyle? if you were anywhere near me i'd do what kevin spacey did to the banality man he met in the subway in 'seven'. i'd vomit all over you. and i'm pretty sure you'd be used to junk food.