comment #1

The Pope says ...

How about SHINING THROUGH... or does anyone who was even associated with that cluinker even remember the title? And another Michael Douglas one... THE STAR CHAMBER... Although I quite enjoyed the movie, I thought THE GAME was penalized from the start... why else was it called THE GAME unless it was all... wait a minnute, is this part of the game? A pity THE GIFT had already been tagged.
Personally, what I sometimes do is rename movies from other movies... so NORTH BY NORTHWEST could be PLANES, TRAINS AND AUTOMOBILES. PSYCHO could be ALL ABOUT MY MOTHER and A BEAUTIFUL MIND would be THE MOST BORING STORY EVER TOLD.

comment #2

Josh Massey says ...

I still can't wrap my arms around Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull. Unnecessarily wordy. Of course, Raiders of the Lost Ark is one of the all-time great titles, which Lucas of course f'ed up in the marketing of the DVD releases as Indiana Jones and the Raiders of the Lost Ark.

My least favorite titles are mostly sequel-related: Return to Snowy River Part II (either call it Man From Snowy River II or Return to Snowy River, not both) and Rambo III (seeing that there's no such thing as Rambo I).

comment #3

JHRussell says ...

Two of the worst: Basic Instinct and Fatal Attraction

comment #4

Rich S. says ...

I've always liked The NeverEnding Story II: The Next Chapter. If the story never ends, how can it have a sequel.

And Basic Instinct and Fatal Attraction may have been bad titles, but without them, what would the Skinemax industry have done?

comment #5

Mgmax, le Corbeau says ...

"Two of the worst: Basic Instinct and Fatal Attraction"

All those two word 80s-90s thriller titles are like generic packaging at the supermarket. Total Asparagus. Maximum Window Cleaner. Executive Oatmeal. Fatal Babywipes.

But the worst titles all start with the same two words: "Stephen King's"....

comment #6

Dr. Smith says ...

Sometime around the late 80s/early90s Hollywood got gerund-happy and has not looked back since. Of course, just b/c a title begins with a gerund does not mean it's a bad movie, but look at these douche chill-inducing examples. You can count the classics on one hand.

Feeling Minnesota
Deconstructing Harry
Raising Arizona
Drowning Mona
Romancing the Stone
Serving Sarah
Leaving Las Vegas
Saving Private Ryan
Finding Forrester
Gleaming the Cube
Being John Malkovich
Regarding Henry
Boxing Helena
Losing Isaiah
Stealing Home
Killing Zoe
Driving Miss Daisy
Wrestling Ernest Hemingway
Pushing Tin
Waking Ned Divine
Forgetting Sarah Marshall
Kissing Jessica Stein
Searching For Bobby Fisher
Riding in Cars With Boys
Being Human
Finding Nemo
Saving Silverman

My personal favorite: Leaving Normal (WTF???)

For more bad gerund titles:
http://orion.math.iastate.edu/burkardt/movieplay/movie_gerund.html

comment #7

Mgmax, le Corbeau says ...

Of course, one of the problems that the 9/11-Iraq movie wave all had was that every single title sucked. In The Valley of Elah, Stop Loss (isn't that something you do when you're buying stocks?), Rendactitioned,The Kingdom (that will always be a Danish hospital to me), A Mighty Heart (sounds like it's about a drama teacher who inspires inner city kids), etc. The only one that hasn't had ass for a title was United 93.

Compare to:
The Deer Hunter
Apocalypse Now
Coming Home
Full Metal Jacket
Three Kings

comment #8

George Prager says ...

Spy magazine once did a little piece on the titles of porn movies playing in Paris.

My favorite: HIP YOUNG BOURGEOIS FEMALES: SODOMIZED

comment #9

actionman says ...

I counted 10 classics from Dr. Smith's list.

comment #10

sardine says ...

Shinning Through is one of the most wonderful pieces of KITCH ever.

comment #11

Walter Sobchak says ...

"Forget Paris".

comment #12

Mgmax, le Corbeau says ...

I think it would be better to mix and match:

Drowning Miss Daisy
Kissing John Malkovich
Deconstructing Las Vegas
Killing Nemo

comment #13

pupkin says ...

They make great movies, but the Coens' taste in titles in pretty bad: Raising Arizona, Barton Fink, Fargo, O Brother Where Art Thou, and of course, The Big Lebowski. Miller's Crossing and No Country For Old Men are so evocative, though.

On a side note: To Wong Foo...may just be the worst title ever given to a major studio release. I remember hearing it announced and was convinced they'd change it before the release. Then I saw the poster...Eeagh! indeed.

comment #14

Dr. Smith says ...

to actionman: Ten, really? I only see five on my list worth watching: Raising Arizona, Being John Malkovich, Finding Nemo, Romancing the Stone, Leaving Las Vegas.

Either way, they're all bad titles.

comment #15

pupkin says ...

Oh, and how could I forget The Hudsucker Proxy? Great film, awful title.

comment #16

Rich S. says ...

"Chopping Mall" was a fun little zero-budget slasher film from the 80s. The mall's robotic security detail (!) went berserk and started killing a bunch of unfortunate kids who decided that night to try to hide in the mall after hours.

comment #17

Mgmax, le Corbeau says ...

The Big Lebowski is a great title. Perfectly captures what's inside-- neo-noir, Jewish humor, the meaning of life...

comment #18

Undercover Brother says ...

It's also great when theater marquees list movies that inadvertently form weird sentences. Years ago I saw the following:
Seven
Big Green
Showgirls
To Die For

comment #19

Undercover Brother says ...

And how dare you insult Electric Boogaloo!

comment #20

rr3333 says ...

Worst Title:

The Fish that Saved Pittsburgh (starring Dr. J)

comment #21

actionman says ...

Dr. Smith: Yes, some of the titles are very quetionable...

Here are the ten I feel are classics, in one way or another:

Raising Arizona
Romancing the Stone
Leaving Las Vegas
Saving Private Ryan
Being John Malkovich
Driving Miss Daisy
Waking Ned Divine
Kissing Jessica Stein
Searching For Bobby Fisher
Finding Nemo

Also, Fart: The Movie has got to be one of the worst movie titles ever.

comment #22

dinther says ...

i'm drawn to titles that are ambiguous and that become relevant only after a couple viewings of the film. and so my favorites are,

Jacob's Ladder
Until the End of the World
Magnolia
Eyes Wide Shut

comment #23

Michael says ...

The Shawshank Redemption. That title sucks.

comment #24

Dr. Smith says ...

actionman: I seriously question the Classic status of...

Driving Miss Daisy
Waking Ned Divine
Kissing Jessica Stein
Searching For Bobby Fisher
Saving Private Ryan

My main point is that, as a rule, gerunds are not good for titles. As far as I can tell they are meant to be intriguing ("Hmm, I wonder what it would be like to gleam the cube?") but usually end up being repellent and pretentious.

I'd rather have a wacko title with some balls like The Fish That Saved Pittsburgh or The Big Lebowski than some icky, precious crap like Leaving Normal. Ewww...

Also: David Mamet can whip some doozy, non-gerund titles as well. I submit Glengarry Glen Ross, Oleanna, and Bookworm (the original title for The Edge, which ain't much better)

comment #25

JHRussell says ...

How about very good movies with bad titles that hurt the box office?

I submit "Kiss Kiss Bang Bang"...I had hell convincing anybody to see it.

comment #26

Rich S. says ...

"The Shawshank Redemption. That title sucks."

Could have been worse. Could have been King's original title: Rita Hayworth and the Shawshank Redemption.

comment #27

JapAdapters says ...

I've always been partial to COME BACK TO THE FIVE AND DIME, JIMMY DEAN, JIMMY DEAN. Talk about a mouthfull.

Did someone just call KISS KISS BANG BANG a good movie? Yikes!

comment #28

JeffTo says ...

The Sterile Cuckoo

Great titles: Midnight Cowboy, Dr. Strangelove or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb, Being There (a gerund from 1979! Could it be the father?)

Until the End of the World is one of my favorites. Anyone know how to get a copy of the 4 hour version?

comment #29

sutter kane says ...

my favorite title of all things is frears' Dirty Pretty Things. Hard to pin down why.

comment #30

Redmond says ...

"The First Avenger: Captain America"

C'mon. Are you serious?

comment #31

JHRussell says ...

Great, evocative short titles / great movies:

The Big Slleep
The Maltese Falcon
Double Indemnity
The Third Man

comment #32

CinemaPhreek says ...

Along with great accidental sentences (there used to be a marquee along the 90 Freeway in Marina Del Rey that was great for that) are the titles that glance at too quickly and get wrong. You known, the ones you see while driving and have to read twice because you know that you have it wrong. But then, you can't ever think of the title the intended way again.

My favorite was THE EVIL THAT MEN DO

Which when glanced at while driving past one night became: THE EVIL MENUDO

comment #33

JHRussell says ...

Painful title / bad movie:

Everybody's All American

comment #34

Rob says ...

Vince Vaughn's Wild West Comedy Show: 30 Days and 30 Nights: Hollywood to the Heartland is the all-time worst movie title. Anything with two colons is bad news (see also Lara Croft: Tomb Raider: The Cradle of Life).

comment #35

JasonGeyer says ...

CinemaPhreek, that made me laugh out loud.

Reminds me of when my college roommate asked me when the local theater started playing foreign films. The marquee was missing the "m"s and due to bad spacing read:

du band du ber

We still laugh about that one.

comment #36

Chance says ...

KISS KISS BANG BANG is a great movie with a bad title. I think its original title was YOU'LL NEVER DIE IN THIS TOWN AGAIN, which I thought was pretty cool.

comment #37

dangovich says ...

"The Loss of Sexual Innocence" Mike Figgis 1999

The Bond franchise went through a rough patch with its Sidney Sheldon phase of titles, including "Tomorrow Never Dies," "The World Is Not Enough" and "Die Another Day."

comment #38

JohnCope says ...

"Nice Girls Don't Explode"

And continuing with Mike Figgis, "Liebestraum", which, though it's a movie I love, has a title that probably killed it for most people.

Also, the complete cut of Until the End of the World is available as a PAL import from xploitedcinema: http://xploitedcinema.com/catalog/until-world-directors-p-7436.html

It's also often available on ebay. No region one set yet and maybe never...

comment #39

T. S. Idiot says ...

Herein my obligatory monthly mention of

Shack Out on 101

comment #40

Chinaski says ...

Final Destination...2.

comment #41

HoopersX says ...

I challenge anyone to beat this for a BAD title:

Divine Secrets of the YaYa Sisterhood.

comment #42

vp19 says ...

The Bond franchise went through a rough patch with its Sidney Sheldon phase of titles, including "Tomorrow Never Dies," "The World Is Not Enough" and "Die Another Day."

"Octopussy" was a dreadful title too, although ironically it has arguably the most underrated of all Bond theme songs, Rita Coolidge's "All-Time High."

comment #43

CinemaPhreek says ...

JaysonGeyer - consider this was the 80's, when rock was being prematurely buried by candied-assed pop (at least according to my music obsessed freinds), that title seemed rather honest.

comment #44

nemo says ...

"du band du ber"

This is not a movie title, but I had a similar reaction to a sign on a local Dairy Queen that was supposed to read:

THERE'S A BLIZZARD INSIDE

But the L and the I were spaced too close together, so it looked like:

THERE'S A BUZZARD INSIDE

Every time I drove by I imagined a carload of kids clamoring, Mommy, Mommy, let's go inside and see the buzzard!

comment #45

berg says ...

best title: SWEET Smell of Success ... runner up: TWITCH of the Death Nerve .... honorable mention, although they aren't actually films they are mentioned in Sullivan's Travels - O Brother Where Art Thou, Ants in Your Pants 1938, Hey Hey in the Hay Loft ...

comment #46

Armin Tamzarian says ...

favorite title in recent years: SPECIAL DEAD

was a zombie movie set at a camp for the mentally handicapped. unfortunately, the title was the only good thing about it.

comment #47

nemo says ...

"HIP YOUNG BOURGEOIS FEMALES: SODOMIZED"

Hey George, where have you been keeping yourself this past month? We've been missing you.

And where is christian? Did Walter Sobchak lock him in a car trunk somewhere?

comment #48

Rothchild says ...

KISS KISS BANG BANG is my ultimate "test movie." If someone doesn't like it then their taste will always be in question. Robert Downey Jr. trying to explain to Val Kilmer why he pissed on a corpse is probably the funniest moment in movie history. Out of context it sounds wrong, but in context it's piss your pants funny.

comment #49

bmcintire says ...

I've always been kind of pissed that the could-be great title SLEEPING WITH THE ENEMY was wasted on such a shit movie. And to make matters worse, the title had no bearing to the plot.

comment #50

Mgmax, le Corbeau says ...

Hey Berg, if you listen closely they actually say "Ants In Your Plants of 1938." The censor wouldn't let them say "ants in your pants." Of course, that's what everyone heard anyway.

Sweet Smell of Success is certainly a great one-- just DRIPPING with contempt.

Citizen Kane is a great title-- the first ironic title in Hollywood history, or at least since "The Big Parade."

And Blue Velvet-- talk about summing up a world of perversity in two little words.

comment #51

btwnproductions says ...

I think you have to take adaptations off the table. DRIVING MISS DAISY, DIVINE SECRETS..., etc.: They were known properties before they became films and changing the titles would confuse audiences familiar with the play or book. (And credit is due the original authors of THE MALTESE FALCON, etc.)

I didn't care for ELAH, but I think those who did would also question its title.

AMERICAN anything is always suspect. Usually heavily, easily ironic.

Great titles: NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD and THE TEXAS CHAIN SAW MASSACRE.

FATAL ATTRACTION and BASIC INSTINCT are brilliant titles. It's the ones that followed in their wake that stank.

comment #52

Josh Massey says ...

From a purely marketing standpoint, The Texas Chainsaw Massacre might be the best title in the history of film. What person that even sorta liked horror didn't hear that and immediately become interested?

comment #53

Mgmax, le Corbeau says ...

My 9-year-old says this is the greatest title of all time:

DESTROY ALL MONSTERS!

comment #54

Major Calloway says ...

How about a special demerit for those films that hit us over the head with a character unnecessarily saying the title aloud, in case we're too dumb to make the association ourselves? Three that come to mind:

WONDER BOYS
THE DEPARTED
THE PERFECT STORM

It doesn't have to be a bad movie, either. One of these is an all-time favorite of mine.

One that you worry is going to blow it, but then doesn't:

YOU CAN COUNT ON ME

Rothchild: I passed!

comment #55

Josh Massey says ...

I read once - I don't remember where - how a guy used to go to movies with the same group of friends, sit in the very front row, and wildly applaud whenever a character said the movie's title. He said they practically wore out their hands in Wall Street, but didn't have much to do in The Unbearable Lightness of Being.

comment #56

Rich S. says ...

Doesn't Ebert's movie glossary bestow extra bonus points on a movie that manages to use its title in the dialog? Once I read that, I became instantly attuned to it. The use is usually pretty glaring, such as, "My God! We're going on a Voyage to the Bottom of the Sea!"

comment #57

cm65 says ...

I still remember seeing a picture of a drive-in marquee taken in the summer of '79:

ALIEN
MEATBALLS
ESCAPE FROM ALCATRAZ

Dr. Smith, you're absolutely right about gerund titles. They're the worst. 'Repellent' and 'pretentious' nails it. They're a combination of abject laziness and suffocating 'indie' smugness. You can almost imagine those titles wearing a soul patch.

comment #58

Scott Feinberg says ...

Just for the record: "Something's Got to Give" was the title of the last movie Marilyn Monroe was associated with before her death. Cyd Charisse told me Monroe's behavior had been very erratic and she ultimately had to be replaced. The movie was never completed.

comment #59

Chris Willman says ...

Pupkin: You are obviously quite insane. None of those Coen brothers titles is anything less than perfect.

comment #60

BurmaShave says ...

Japadapters, KISS KISS BANG BANG is a great movie. What planet have you been living on? Also Rich S., CHOPPING MALL would be an example of an awesome title.

comment #61

BurmaShave says ...

cm65 you reminded me of the classic marquee from the spring of 2000:

ERIN BROCKOVICH
SCREWED
MY DOG SKIP

comment #62

Josh Massey says ...

Nobody mentioned Waiting For Guffman, but I do like that title.

comment #63

nemo says ...

"AMERICAN anything is always suspect. Usually heavily, easily ironic."

Agreed, although American Gigolo was a pretty good title.

Destroy All Monsters came out when I was in my early teens, and I sure thought it was great title both then and now.

The Pit and the Pendulum had such a great, creepy title I could never overcome my dread to bring myself to see the movie.

Some other titles I've always liked for movies I've never seen:

The 5,000 Fingers of Doctor T.
I Woke Up Early the Day I Died
Dead Heat on a Merry-Go-Round
Seance on a Wet Afternoon

comment #64

Doug Pratt says ...

Really great, vividly inviting titles:
Picnic at Hanging Rock
Footlight Parade
Vertigo
The Garden of the Finzi-Continis
Murder on the Orient Express
The Night of the Living Dead
Play Misty for Me
Touch of Evil
Orphans of the Storm
The Last Temptation of Christ
Shanghai Express
Back to the Future
A Streetcar Named Desire
The Unbearable Lightnes of Being
Thunder Road
Five Came Back
Beware of a Holy Whore
101 Dalmatians
While the City Sleeps
Planet of the Apes
There Will Be Blood

Best Chinese translated title:
Ironfist Rides a Train
for Breakheart Pass

A particularly ill-chosen title:
Squanto: A Warrior's Tale

My favorite porn title:
A Rear and Pleasant Danger

comment #65

alynch says ...

I can't help but thinking that the perception of some of these titles are based solely on opinion of the film itself. I mean if Dr. Strangelove turned out to be an absolute piece of shit, would there be anybody who considered it a great title?

comment #66

Rich S. says ...

The 5,000 Fingers of Doctor T.

Nemo, that is a must. It's about a kid who has a dream about being pressed into slave labor by a piano teacher, along with 499 other kids. Dr. Seuss was the production designer. One seriously deranged piece of work.

And I think Dr. Strangelove would be a great title, regardless of the quality of the film.

comment #67

pupkin says ...

Chris: Those titles are perfect AFTER you've seen the films and know their proper context. But there's a reason not many people went to see The Hudsucker Proxy or The Big Lebowski, and it has nothing to do with their quality.

comment #68

Eric Stanton says ...

Mgmax: "All those two word 80s-90s thriller titles are like generic packaging at the supermarket. Total Asparagus. Maximum Window Cleaner. Executive Oatmeal. Fatal Babywipes."

OK, there may be something wrong with me, but "Fatal Babywipes"....is a movie I might pay to see.

comment #69

Eric Stanton says ...

If a tilte starts with "The Last...." it's usually a sign of an unwarranted grandiosity and a lack of imagination. Except in the case of "The Last Picture Show" where the title perfectly conveys the film's poignancy, and the movie is so good that it earns the metaphoric weight of the title.

comment #70

blathe says ...

Excellent discussion. Here's another sure tell: a colon.

Yet another example of this, in addition to the many above: "Remo Williams: The Adventure Begins" (with Joel Grey as the wily Chinese karate master).

comment #71

MoroccoMole says ...

Whenever this topic comes up, my standard fall-back answer is PUZZLE OF A DOWNFALL CHILD.

Best title ever? SNAKES ON A PLANE. (OK, maybe not *ever*, but of the last few years at least.)

comment #72

bmcintire says ...

Although I'm not a fan of the 80's reliance on "Adjective / Noun" titles, JAGGED EDGE was an exception. The movie turned out to be a bit silly, but it was fun - and that's a great title.

comment #73

MrG says ...

I have always loved the title "Days of Heaven". And I, too, would be interested in something called "Fatal Babywipes" or "Drowning Miss Daisy"

comment #74

The Winchester says ...

I remember having to change the marquee at the movie theater I worked at in the spring of '01. My favorite line up was

SPY KIDS
BLOW
SNATCH

It took the bosses a while to realize what I had done, but I was proud.

And I have to second the Snakes on a Plane as a great title. Terrible movie, but at least you know what you're getting into.

And because we're talking titles, my favorite porn riff on a regular title: Porn on the 4th of July.

comment #75

nemo says ...

I've always liked the title:

Big Trouble in Little China

comment #76

moviemaniac2002 says ...

Favorites:
Most recently: "Zombie Strippers"

All time greats:
Duck You Sucker
The Green Slime
Sh! The Octopus
Oh Dad Poor Dad, Mama's Hung You In the
Closet and I'm Feelin' So Sad
Who Is Harry Kellerman And Why Is He
saying Those Terrible Things About Me?
Beach Blanket Bingo
Go Kill and Come Back
Slave Girls From Beyond Infinity

comment #77

LOTGA says ...

A few years ago someone at the theatre I work for put up "Honeyka" (Honey and Gothika, both terrible). I found that to be pretty priceless.

comment #78

Pete says ...

No more movie titles should be allowed to start with "Confessions of a..." or end with "... Confidential".

But regarding Coen Bros. movie titles, I remember seeing Barton Fink, Hudsucker Proxy and Raising Arizona without knowing they were the same people who made The Big Lebowski and Fargo, and from what I remember, I think the titles were a big part of what attracted me to all of them.

comment #79

Josh Massey says ...

Big Trouble in Little China

Good call. Great title.

One more great one occurred to me: True Romance. It's both misleading and completely accurate at the same time.

comment #80

Caustic712 says ...

A friend's favorite marquee combo, from the summer of '93:

MEN IN TIGHTS
FIRM
WILLY

And my own, from the fall of '95

TIE THAT BINDS
SEVEN
BABE
SHOWGIRLS
TO WONG FOO

comment #81

Dzayson says ...

WET HOT AMERICAN SUMMER- great title, fucking hilarious film.

comment #82

PerfectTommy says ...

"The End of the World in Our Usual Beds in a Night Full of Rain" was always my favorite title to use for charades.

comment #83

pcc says ...

how about the horror movie "Ssssss" or the warren beatty film simply titled "$"?

comment #84

Movie Watcher says ...

Eight heads in a duffle bag.

comment #85

Bob Violence says ...

The use is usually pretty glaring, such as, "My God! We're going on a Voyage to the Bottom of the Sea!"

"I'm just so tired of all these star wars!"

The Japanese have a way with titles:

Negative Happy Chainsaw Edge
Big Bang Love: Juvenile A
Teenager Hooker Who Died and Became a Killing Machine (okay so this one is Korean, sue me)

Unfortunately only one of these is actually watchable.

comment #86

JapAdapters says ...

"KISS KISS BANG BANG is my ultimate "test movie." If someone doesn't like it then their taste will always be in question. Robert Downey Jr. trying to explain to Val Kilmer why he pissed on a corpse is probably the funniest moment in movie history. Out of context it sounds wrong, but in context it's piss your pants funny."

Funny, it's my test movie too, but in the opposite direction.

To each their own ...

comment #87

JHRussell says ...

Japadapters - sorry, but to say KKBB is your test movie in the "oppositie direction" is frankly bullshit. You would need to give a movie that a lot of people saw, like say BATMAN BEGINS as an example of a movie that people rave about that made a lot of dough but maybe you don't see it that way...

Nobody saw KKBB. It didn't make any money. As part of this thread, it was a really bad title that kept lots of people from seeing it. So how is that your "test" of the movie judgment of people who rave about it (and outnumbered you on this thread 3 or 4 to 1, so maybe that should give you some pause).

Yes, to each his own, but give us an example of your tastes to the positive side of the ledger...

comment #88

JapAdapters says ...

Bullshit, huh?

How is it any more bullshit than the post I replied to? Why are you the one who decides what this thread is about? Why should I change my opinion on a movie I expected to like but found to be an overly cute piece of shit just because four people on the internet liked it? (Would you change your opinion if four people on this thread had agreed with me? I sure hope not.)

And, finally, why do I have to "give you" anything?

comment #89

Mgmax, le Corbeau says ...

Okay, in its time and place, you have to admit this was about as cool as a movie title could get:

BLACULA

comment #90

Aunt Sassy says ...

-Best title for an Indiana Jones film:
INDIANA JONES IN THE COURT OF THE CRIMSON KING.

-A variation on The Winchester's spring of '01 marquee:

SPY KIDS
BLOW
POKEMAN

-Best real or imagined porn titles I can remember off the top of my head:

SHAVING RYAN'S PRIVATES
GLAD HE ATE HER
BACKSIDE TO THE FUTURE
REAR ANAL WINDOW
YOUR ASSLICK PARK
HARRY SQUATTER AND THE SORCEROR'S BONE
MEN IN BACK
ADD MAMA TO THE TRAIN
ALL INSIDE MY MOTHER
SCHINDLER'S FIST
MRS. HOLLAND'S ANUS
ALL THAT JIZZ
DAS BOOTY
MY FAVORITE REAR
SPLATMAN
SEX TREK TWO: THE QUEST FOR SPERM

-Best titles for movies that have not yet been made:

THE DEVIL MADE WOMAN
EVIL IS SHE
THE DAMNED DIE DIRTY
THE FILTHY FOOLS

"It's the Empire, kid. And they're striking back!!"

comment #91

Aunt Sassy says ...

Oops. It should read:

SPY KIDS
BLOW
POKEMON

Which reminds me of another great porn title:

POKE YOUR MOM: THE MOVIE

comment #92

Bob Violence says ...

My favorite two fake porno titles (from Pointless Waste of Time, before they folded the site into the godawful Cracked.com):

Men in Black II: Black in Men
Shaft (Interpret That as a Penis Reference Because This Is a Porno)

comment #93

Bob Violence says ...

Oh, and Missionary Position: Impossible is an actual movie title. Good work on that one, fellas.

comment #94

Rich S. says ...

Speaking of bad titles, has anyone seen that Jerry Bruckheimer's next film (about a hypothetical invasion of Iraq) may be called Increment? Does that not scream for a one-word review?

comment #95

Major Calloway says ...

Greatest. Title. Ever.

(apologies to those who hate. interrupted. sentences.)

DOG DAY AFTERNOON

comment #96

ab says ...

The tagline (used on the video boxes at least) for I Dismember Mama was "May She Rest in Pieces". Still haven't seen it, but it gave good poster.

Someone else mentioned Chopping Mall, which is a great title- for a diferent movie. That movie's original title (Killbots) is much more accurate, as the threat is security robots, not a slasher. Too bad they didn't think of the title before they wrote it or they could've made a better and cheaper movie.

I like the giallo title Strip Nude For Your Killer, but haven't got around to watching that one either.

comment #97

jesse says ...

I saw it at the Woodstock Film Festival earlier in the month and I was underwhelmed. David Denby wrote a piece on underdramatization in what he called the Cinema of
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70-432 Implementing Cisco Unified Wireless Mobility Services
HP2-Z15 Implementing Advanced Cisco Unified Wireless Security (IAUWS)
CCNA Conducting Cisco Unified Wireless Site Survey
640-822 Securing Hosts Using Cisco Security Agent Exam (HIPS)
050-720 Securing Networks with Cisco Routers and Switches
JN0-360 Cisco SAFE Implementation Exam
HP2-E42 Securing Networks with ASA Foundation
HP2-Z17 Implementing Cisco NAC Appliance
HP0-P14 Securing Networks with ASA Advanced

Observation where he offered a new criticism of cinematic realism. He argued, in essence, that not enough 'happened' dramatically in films of this ilk.
HP0-Y37 Basic Administration for Citrix NetScaler 9.0
PW0-104 Implementing Citrix Provisioning Server 5.0
N10-004 Engineering a Citrix Virtualization Solution
1Y0-A24 Implementing Citrix XenDesktop 3
156-915.71 Architecting a Citrix Virtualization Solution
250-265 Implementing Citrix Access Gateway 9.0, Enterprise Edition
And while W&L isn't exactly like Smart People and other films he referenced, it's not an experimental film either. Yes, we emphasize with her suffering but I needed more there there.

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