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Carrie's Inferno
I've watched episodes of Sex and the City on HBO maybe five or six times, which obviously indicates I'm not a huge fan but also that I've found it agreeable enough from time to time. The movie version, which runs around two and a half hours, takes whatever it was that made the show half-palatable and just amplifies and gussies it up all to hell. I've been told that the movie is the show and that any perceived degradation is a judgment that begins and ends in my own head. Not so. The first hour of SATC is as garish and putrid and spiritually repulsive as can possibly be imagined without throwing up, and I was never so moved during those episodic HBO sojourns.
Wednesday, 5.28, 1:35 pm -- taken during a short break from the film that I needed badly.
Each main character -- Sarah Jessica Parker's Carrie Bradshaw, Kim Cattrall's Samantha Jones, Kristin Davis's Charlotte York and Cynthia Nixon's Miranda Hobbes -- have their own story here. (Naturally.) Three experience the usual issues with boyfriends/husbands, but it's all blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. The last 90 minutes are a bit more tolerable than the first hour, but that's like saying the visit to the dentist got better after he pulled the tooth with a pair of pliers.
The soul of this movie is infected with gross materialism, the flaunting of me-me egos and the endless nurturing of the characters' greed and/or sense of entitlement. It's all about money to piss away and flashy things to wear and lush places where the the girls lunch and exchange dreary confessional chit-chat. And this, mind you, is where millions of middle-class women in every semi-developed country around the globe live in their dreams. They're going to this movie right now in multitudes. Sad. Really sad. Because SATC is crap through and through.
A few items back I called Sex and the City a Taliban recruitment film. All I know is that I felt ashamed, sitting in a Paris movie theatre, that this film, right now, is portraying middle-class female American values, and that this somehow reflects upon the country that I love and care deeply about. It's a kind of advertisement for the cultural shallowness that's been spreading like the plague for years, and for what young American womanhood seems to be currently about -- what it wants, cherishes, pines for. Not so much the realizing of intriguing ambitions or creative dreams as much as wallowing in consumption as the girls cackle and toss back Margaritas.
The HBO show's dialogue, frequently written by Michael Patrick King, who directed and wrote the screenplay for the film, never riled me that much. But I was wincing at it during today's screening at the UGC Les Halles. Some concepts play better on the tube; amplifying them only pushes the flaws into your face. All I know is that the faux-splendor of the movie -- the insipid Marie Antoinette-ishness of the damn thing with the look-at-me clothes and sets and nouveau-riche ickiness of the apartments and restaurants -- felt to me like a kind of hell.
"I'm watching this of my own free will," I muttered to myself a few times, "and with my own money." To cope with these feelings of remorse and repulsion, I staged a mini-rebellion somewhere between the halfway and two-thirds mark by heading out to the lobby for a Diet Coke, a cafe au lait, a little i-Phone catch-up and to take some photos of the huge SATC standee. It helped.
I'll tap out some more after I come back from dinner this evening. We're having our first day without rain here, and life is short. To hell with this movie, and scratch any woman who says she liked it off the list. For anything.
Posted by Jeffrey Wells on May 28, 2008 at 9:41 AM
comment #1
figaso
says ...
Should of taken a pic of the urinal you watered during your needed break instead to illustrate this sorry TV to Movie cash in...
I'm praying the wife blinks during the ads for it.
But how is the sex?
Posted by figaso
at May 28, 2008 11:00 AM
comment #2
p.Vice
says ...
I can't believe you actually sat through this pussy propaganda, Jeff. Any many knows that if you have a penis and/or a brain, stay away from SATC at all costs.
Posted by p.Vice
at May 28, 2008 11:00 AM
comment #3
Richardson
says ...
I like the poster that says "Le Film", though.
Posted by Richardson
at May 28, 2008 11:02 AM
comment #4
Howlingman
says ...
Richardson, your comment reminds me of several years back, a producer who was courting me "gifted" some free DVDs my way that he had worked on -- one being the Daniel Baldwin starring (and directed) DTV flick "THE TUNNEL" -- which was worth a laugh when, watching the French language version included the immortal credit "Un Film de Daniel Baldwin."
Which proves that everything sounds better en Francais.
Posted by Howlingman
at May 28, 2008 11:07 AM
comment #5
Mr. Blood Vessel
says ...
Doris Day has returned it seems.
and she had an affair with Gloria Steinem.
Posted by Mr. Blood Vessel
at May 28, 2008 11:07 AM
comment #6
Breedlove
says ...
I think I'm probably a very shallow person. I don't read deeply into the subtext of shit like this. The TV show was really well-written, very funny, perfect fluff. And you're simply out of your mind if you eliminate any woman who likes this show. You'd be ruling out every chick in NYC. I could should you a trillion sexy, intelligent, fantastic, interesting women that are obsessed with this show. Including my girlfriend. How dare you ; )
Jeff and the commenters on this board are all very intelligent and well-spoken but sometimes I feel as though we take ourselves a wee bit too seriously. Does everything have to be some message to the world about American values? It's a fairy tale. I think it's pretty damn fun to watch, and I'm a straight guy. But again - I'm shallow. And I'm not saying that tongue in cheek, I really think I am. Jeff, stop making me feel guilty all the time you fucker.
Posted by Breedlove
at May 28, 2008 11:22 AM
comment #7
Leonardcoenbrothers
says ...
I liked everything about it except for the CGI groundhog.
Posted by Leonardcoenbrothers
at May 28, 2008 11:47 AM
comment #8
Arizona Joe
says ...
Materialism, relationship silliness, me-firstism: this movie may have played better three years ago, but it is still absolute crap. I don't think Wells is too strong when he uses the word, "ashamed." It is about American values or lack thereof. And Wells felt it more acutely in Europe.
And when did Sarah Jessica Parker go from being a square peg to a sex symbol?
Girls and (some) gays like the dishing and consumption scenes. Guys just sit through it, and wonder what Dave Letterman asked Kristin Davis last week, "Who's the biggest slut?"
If I ever hear that goddamn vibraphone again, I'm going to puke.
Posted by Arizona Joe
at May 28, 2008 12:19 PM
comment #9
SaveFarris
says ...
A film shot in New York about New York starring New Yorkers (specifically Upper East Side types) somehow represents "middle-class female American values"?
Whatever you say, hoss...
Posted by SaveFarris
at May 28, 2008 12:35 PM
comment #10
DavidF
says ...
The TV show was well-written, for what it was. The girls struck me as stereotypes rather than relatable human beings and while I have no real desire to see SJP naked, I found it odd that the lead actress on a show called "Sex and the City" clearly had no nudity clauses in her contract while the others pranced around constantly.
But since it wasn't aimed at me (a Canadian dude), I never really cared much for it one way or another. There's certainly worse stuff out there.
Still, the idea of a 2.5 hr movie boggles the mind. I don't see how it could possibly be good but what do I know?
I imagine the audience for this will be 95% female, gay (not that there's anything wrong with that), and pussy-whipped boyfriends. It wouldn't be the first movie to only appeal to one gender but I can't imagine any real cross-over. It'll have a big first weekend as girls go out in groups to see it after waiting, like, forever and....then, nothing, I imagine.
Posted by DavidF
at May 28, 2008 1:12 PM
comment #11
Bocephus
says ...
I don't understand why other gays like SATC so much. I like men, and there is nothing "man" about Sex and the City.
But then, I could never understand why my boyfriend likes Golden Girls so much, either.
Posted by Bocephus
at May 28, 2008 1:18 PM
comment #12
moviemaniac2002
says ...
I used to laugh hysterically at the reviews of
the critic John Simon, as he raged on endlessly
about how repulsed he was by Barbra Streisand's physical appearence....just imagine
what he'd make of Sarah Jessica Parker and
her attendent publiciity...a hatchet-faced no-talent who's lauded as the epitome of sexiness and style. When it comes to Parker, I get the feeling
we're all living in a modern day retelling of
"The Emporer's New Clothes"
Posted by moviemaniac2002
at May 28, 2008 1:25 PM
comment #13
Zimmergirl
says ...
There is no possible way the movie could be half as nauseating as the comments on this thread. You embarrass yourselves.
Posted by Zimmergirl
at May 28, 2008 1:56 PM
comment #14
berkguru
says ...
This is great stuff Jeff - I see this with my wife and her friends and it focking drives me crazy:
It's a kind of advertisement for the cultural shallowness that's been spreading like the plague for years, and for what young American womanhood seems to be currently about -- what it wants, cherishes, pines for. Not so much the realizing of intriguing ambitions or creative dreams as much as wallowing in consumption as the girls cackle and toss back Margaritas.
Posted by berkguru
at May 28, 2008 2:12 PM
comment #15
bmcintire
says ...
The polarizing dismissal of movies like this cracks me up on one hand but disgusts me more than a little on the other - especially in the light of Jeffrey's self-righteousness. If you want a thoroughly garish, putrid and spiritually repuslive international introduction to American values, look no further than the piece of tripe you qualified as "genius" a few posts below: Stallones re-do of RAMBO. And I would just as readily advise any woman to scratch any man who says he liked it off the list, STAT.
Posted by bmcintire
at May 28, 2008 2:14 PM
comment #16
Rich S.
says ...
Come on, Jeffrey. Have you ever seen a movie produced during the Great Depression? Most of them were about beautiful people doing beautiful things with a ton of money and without a care in the world. And some of them, most notably the films of William Powell, were even pretty good.
SATC is the same thing. It's wish fulfillment, plain and simple. No one lives like this, not the Taliban and not the middle American woman. It's as much a fantasy as Indy 4 or Iron Man. It may not be your cup of tea - it's certainly not mine - but it's hardly the end of civilization.
That said, 2 1/2 hour?!? Are you freaking kidding me?
Posted by Rich S.
at May 28, 2008 2:17 PM
comment #17
berkguru
says ...
Rich S - the difference is that we dont try to build rocket suits and fly or go on explorations in aztec pyramids but many women (and men) TRY to live a vapid SATC-esque lifestyle. They think they can buy happiness through crap and thats one of the reasons our nations' credit card debt has never been higher and 1000s of people are losing houses.
Posted by berkguru
at May 28, 2008 2:28 PM
comment #18
Richardson
says ...
bmac - I would say that if a guy is trumpeting 'Rambo', I'd agree with you. But if, six months down the line, a girl finds out that the guy enjoys them as the dumb sort of thing, that's probably safe.
In the same way, if you find out when you're in the relationship that she watches 'Sex and the City', that's fine. But if, on the first date, she tells you how she and her friends are just like that, RUN.
Posted by Richardson
at May 28, 2008 2:29 PM
comment #19
raygo
says ...
You go Zimmergirl! I just bought my copy of "Square Pegs" yesterday at Best Buy. Nothing wrong with SJP ... she's navigated the ruthless world of showbiz since what, age 9, without so much as a traffic citation. I think she's earned her success ... after this I would expect she returns to Broadway and TV and resumes flying under the radar.
Posted by raygo
at May 28, 2008 2:33 PM
comment #20
Jay T.
says ...
"I'm telling you, this country is going straight to hell."
lol...
Posted by Jay T.
at May 28, 2008 2:35 PM
comment #21
raygo
says ...
Wow! I never realized that SATC was responsible for the subprime credit mess ... astonishing. Bad/no parenting is what's wrong with this country, not TV shows.
Posted by raygo
at May 28, 2008 2:37 PM
comment #22
dangovich
says ...
Two-and-a-half hours? Jeff, you should get combat pay.
Posted by dangovich
at May 28, 2008 2:45 PM
comment #23
Richardson
says ...
"Wow! I never realized that SATC was responsible for the subprime credit mess ... astonishing."
I think he's saying that the show represents a lifestyle which can't actually exist in the real world, but which a generation nevertheless is attempting to live out. The show is the egg, laid by the chicken which also laid the "credit mess".
Posted by Richardson
at May 28, 2008 2:58 PM
comment #24
Richardson
says ...
That said, this website and its talkbacks do more to illustrate what's wrong with this country than this movie does.
Posted by Richardson
at May 28, 2008 3:34 PM
comment #25
bar62
says ...
Hi Jeff,
I refuse to let you make me feel guilty for wanting to see and enjoy a fantasy movie I've been waiting to see forever:)
I am a RN on Social Security Disability, living in NYC, unable to pursue my career for now and I don't buy shoes at Manolo Blahnik. However, I do live my fantasy life happily and vicariously through SATC, and I can't wait to spend time with my four favorite gals Friday evening.
My physical state doesn't do well sitting, so I do wish you hadn't mentioned that it's a 2.5 hour movie.
*ouch*
Posted by bar62
at May 28, 2008 3:56 PM
comment #26
arteye
says ...
Can't believe the sexist shit I'm reading here. You guys sound like Ralph Cramden on roids. The multiplexes are full of ball-banging garbage and nary a word. Then SATC and you sound the Orange Alert.
Posted by arteye
at May 28, 2008 4:30 PM
comment #27
Richardson
says ...
"The multiplexes are full of ball-banging garbage and nary a word."
You must not come here very often; people rail against everything popular from Spielberg to Apatow. Also unpopular things like Speed Racer and (hopefully) The Love Guru.
Did you not see the post by Jeff a few weeks back, "Sure, Iron Man is okay, but it's not really that good?" A lot of people agreed with him.
This website is full of people who are quasi-obsessed with pop culture but hate 90% of it.
Posted by Richardson
at May 28, 2008 5:03 PM
comment #28
redmond
says ...
I had a female roommate in college who would make me get high and watch it. Thanks to marijuana, I made it through four seasons. After I stop smoking, I never touched the show again.
Read into that what you will.
Posted by redmond
at May 28, 2008 5:07 PM
comment #29
Leonardcoenbrothers
says ...
Every guy who has a significant other must start to get their strategies together to get out of seeing this. The easiest way is to suggest a "girls night out" with her friends. Me, I'm gonna have a fake kidney stone attack.
Posted by Leonardcoenbrothers
at May 28, 2008 5:43 PM
comment #30
cjKennedy
says ...
What bmcintire said. Anyone who got a boner for Rambo (and continues to carry a torch for it) isn't allowed to shit on other people's wish fulfilment or proclaim national embarrassments.
Posted by cjKennedy
at May 28, 2008 5:46 PM
comment #31
dangovich
says ...
This website is full of people who are quasi-obsessed with pop culture but hate 90% of it.
Doesn't that describe pretty much every web site?
Posted by dangovich
at May 28, 2008 5:47 PM
comment #32
redmond
says ...
Oh, yeah, I back cjkennedy on that one. Rambo was pure shit. I mean, the main battle was Stallone just shooting people from a saw gun. Screenwriting at it's best. Though I did love the part when the other mercenaries wouldn't let Rambo come out and play. Aww, poor Rambo. Then right back to the raping.
Posted by redmond
at May 28, 2008 6:00 PM
comment #33
D.Z.
says ...
Bocephus: "But then, I could never understand why my boyfriend likes Golden Girls so much, either."
That show was actually more of a hetero male guilty pleasure than a gay fan favorite. I think it has to do with the locker room humour and camaraderie you don't normally associate with women.
bmc: " If you want a thoroughly garish, putrid and spiritually repuslive international introduction to American values, look no further than the piece of tripe you qualified as "genius" a few posts below: Stallones re-do of RAMBO.And I would just as readily advise any woman to scratch any man who says he liked it off the list, STAT."
So women dating a guy who likes a movie featuring a guy who speaks out against genocide and rape are dumb?
Posted by D.Z.
at May 28, 2008 6:04 PM
comment #34
cjKennedy
says ...
DZ, you are the message board Terminator. Relentless and unchanging.
Posted by cjKennedy
at May 28, 2008 6:27 PM
comment #35
bmcintire
says ...
The world according to DZ: "Speaking out against genocide and rape" = the unmitigated carnage (proudly proclaimed by Sly himself as the most vioent movie ever) that is RAMBO. Awesome.
Posted by bmcintire
at May 28, 2008 6:29 PM
comment #36
BurmaShave
says ...
I like blowjobs, so I'll see it.
Posted by BurmaShave
at May 28, 2008 6:38 PM
comment #37
Richardson
says ...
"Doesn't that describe pretty much every web site?"
Well, I'd say that every web site devoted to any specific thing contains people who are obsessed with that thing but hate 90% of it, sure.
But (s)he was talking about this specific site.
Posted by Richardson
at May 28, 2008 6:42 PM
comment #38
alynch
says ...
Well, I never saw Rambo, and I never plan to. Does that mean that I can shit on this movie with impunity? I hope so because, really, nothing would make me happier.
Posted by alynch
at May 28, 2008 7:21 PM
comment #39
cjKennedy
says ...
Permission to shit without hypocrisy granted.
Posted by cjKennedy
at May 28, 2008 7:25 PM
comment #40
berkguru
says ...
The only reason I might go is in case one of the dopey sluts that does see it feels horny and sentimental afterwards and wants to make a newfriend.
Posted by berkguru
at May 28, 2008 8:31 PM
comment #41
raygo
says ...
"I think he's saying that the show represents a lifestyle which can't actually exist in the real world, but which a generation nevertheless is attempting to live out."
Duh. Really? Thanks for enlightening me, as that point was over my head.
Posted by raygo
at May 28, 2008 8:42 PM
comment #42
Malone
says ...
Wow! I haven't seen this much vitriol since SPEED RACER.
Posted by Malone
at May 28, 2008 9:25 PM
comment #43
Richardson
says ...
"Duh. Really? Thanks for enlightening me, as that point was over my head."
I know, your lack of comprehension really showed in your response, that's why I explained it to you in simpler words.
You're welcome!
Posted by Richardson
at May 28, 2008 9:36 PM
comment #44
ROTC
says ...
It always amazes me how many guys cannot comprehend the appeal of Sex and the City but totally get off on Entourage. No doubt that applies to many of those posting here.
"All I know is that the faux-splendor of the movie -- the insipid Marie Antoinette-ishness of the damn thing with the look-at-me clothes and sets and nouveau-riche ickiness of the apartments and restaurants -- felt to me like a kind of hell." Maybe, Jeff, but at least the thread counts must have been up to your standards.
Posted by ROTC
at May 28, 2008 11:55 PM
comment #45
alynch
says ...
Agreed, ROTC. Entourage is just as much of an embrace of empty, shallow materialism as Sex and the City, and I hold them both in equal disdain
Posted by alynch
at May 29, 2008 12:30 AM
comment #46
T. S. Idiot
says ...
In Manhattan restaurants, I have heard attractive young women quote Sex and the City characters as guides to life several times.
"Entourage is just as much of an embrace of empty, shallow materialism as Sex and the City, and I hold them both in equal disdain." And Entourage doesn't have Kristin Davis. I'd even watch her play the hero's mother in The John McCain Story.
Posted by T. S. Idiot
at May 29, 2008 11:25 AM
comment #47
raygo
says ...
"I know, your lack of comprehension really showed in your response, that's why I explained it to you in simpler words.
You're welcome!"
Condescending and smug in one tidy package. Nicely done.
Posted by raygo
at May 29, 2008 2:15 PM
comment #48
monsieur hire
says ...
Let me get this straight. Jeff praised RAMBO -- an utter piece of testosterone-driven, nihilistic trash with no substance or redeeming value, pitched directly at xenophobic bubbas and the true symbol of what's wrong in movies and the country. That was a picture for troglydytes, yet he LOVED it.
And now he condemns SATC, roughly its polar opposite but just as strategically aimed at a target audience of women and gay men, crticizing it as bankrupt and of course, everything wrong with the cultural slide into the abyss.
Could it be that Jeff, who has a history of hating everything from the well-made Love Actually to The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants, just can't stomach anything remotely "chick flick" taking up more than a screen at the multiplex while CHE will likely go undistributed?
Jeff, you're hardly being objective with this film. I'm a guy who has never watched the series and likely won't be seeing this film, but your argument is transparent.
Posted by monsieur hire
at May 31, 2008 9:13 AM
comment #49
Myopic
says ...
I read the comments on SATC, saw that Jeff also hated Love Actually and I knew I was home.
Posted by Myopic
at June 6, 2008 9:54 PM
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