Stenography

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CHUD's Devin Faraci has taken great exception to Indiewire's Eric Kohn having live-blogged during Sunday's debut screening of Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull. " It's hard for me to explain to you how angry this makes me. It's bad enough when a regular jackass whips out their phone and bathes everyone behind them in a blue glow during a movie while they text away like a moron, but for a film critic like Eric Kohn to do this... well, he should probably have his texting fingers broken."

Indiewire's Eric Kohn

I agree totally -- it's doggerel. Lame. Kohn and Indiewire were simply looking to be first to provide the very first commentary on the film anywhere in the world -- except it wasn't commentary but rudimentary (i.e., quite crude) descriptions of scenes as they happened. There's an internet audience for this kind of stenography, of course, but to what end? A movie deserves a little thought before before commented on. I tapped out an instant hand-held judgment after Indy 4 ended, but at least I'd thought it through for an hour or two.

comment #1

Richard_Stone says ...

A movie isn't really an event that lends itself well to live-blogging, but what really ticks me is that he must have his phone open for the duration of the movie to send these SMS. My brain would have been filled with bloodlust if I had been sitting next to him in the dark room.

This is my greatest annoyance in a public theater. I don't mind people talking to each other while the movie is going on if at least they're discussing the movie and it's not too moronic, but nothing takes me out of a movie like seeing a bright phone screen light up in a dark room a few rows in front of me.

comment #2

knightrider76 says ...

In some cinemas, theaters have already begun to block cellphone signals to prevent this from happening. In the Middle East in particular, where locals tend to yap away (loudly) on their cellphones while a movie is playing, it has become a welcome change. Maybe this can be implemented in North America?

comment #3

thevisceral says ...

Just going by that picture I'd say it's no shock this guy acted like a douchebag.

comment #4

Mgmax says ...

Unfortunately it's illegal to jam cell phone signals in the US.

If you're sitting there typing all through a movie, besides annoying other people, how can you really be caught up in the movie? What good is your opinion if you're only half paying attention?

comment #5

mjn says ...

Exactly, just like people who mess with their laptop during a movie on DVD at home and then say the movie wasn't any good. They aren't paying attention and getting the whole movie either.

comment #6

The Pope says ...

Mgmax,
Could not agree with you more. How can nayone even begin to entertain the notion that what he wrote was a review. Wells is write: it's stenography. Or the equivalent of "reading" a play by play commentary of a sports game.

I truly hope that Kohn is barred from future media screenings. Distributors should be aware that his conduct has set a new precident. Other dweebs and geeks will try to emulate him at furture events.

As a call to action, I quote from G2, when Frankie Pentangelli implores Michael: "Let's get 'em all. Let's hit 'em all now. While we got the muscle."

comment #7

The Pope says ...

Please excuse the above typos. It was written in haste... but not in a movie theatre!

comment #8

T. Holly says ...

I knew this would come, but I'm waiting for the serious-minded supporter. I've done my bit, where Eric explains all, I guess. I'm thinking something about the righteous.

http://www.mcnblogs.com/thehotblog/archives/2008/05/variety_review.html

comment #9

actionman says ...

Kohn should have his ass handed to him

comment #10

T. Holly says ...

Yes, the French and World Press should have bowed to Americans and gone ballistic.

comment #11

michael fox says ...

There are two totally separate issues here.

1) Should people use cellphones in the theater?

This criticism is based on the fact most phones turn on a backlight when in use. This is a feature that can almost always be disabled. It is possible in many cases to text using ambient light for illumination as opposed to the backlight. No one knows how much light (if any) Kohn's phone was propagating, therefore this is an extremely speculative (and subjective) critique.

2) Does commentary on a film require ample premeditation?

This represents the more reasonable side of all this criticism. I imagine Kohn is well aware that people prefer reading content that is structured and thought out. You should therefore consider the texts as what they are: tidbits on the film for those who must have them immediately. The blogosphere does two things in particular very well: Provide content immediately, and provide a wide variety of content. Kohn did both of these things. You should not misconstrue Kohn's texts as some sort of manifesto for the future of film criticism. He is certainly aware that the best articles involve time and research beyond the couple of hours spent watching the film. I think Kohn's exercise is interesting and strips down the concept of the blog to its most basic elements: instant access and fresh perspective.

Its sort of funny that people are chiming in with fragments about Kohn being too fragmented. The guy writes a lot of thought out reviews.

I think the problem with the blog world is that there is too much uninformed chatter per unit of good content. You should do your research and answer for yourself what side of the spectrum you think Kohn is on. You should not base your entire perception on one review that was obviously intended to be lighthearted and experimental.

comment #12

Spicer says ...

The thing that amazes me about these alleged "geek" sites is they seem to have a real contempt for the movies they say they champion. The irony is I would lump CHUD in with those sorts of sites. They have never done anything like this, but the tone of the site is just as poisonous, as if they really hate films.

comment #13

Mgmax says ...

"Its sort of funny that people are chiming in with fragments about Kohn being too fragmented. The guy writes a lot of thought out reviews."

Oh, so the problem isn't that some thoughtless yontz posted a bunch of stream of consciousness bilge during a movie, it's that WE didn't take the time to find out what a thoughtful, deep guy he really is.

Ohhhhhh-kay.

comment #14

Dravot says ...

Michael Fox --

Okay, YOU get to sit next to that jackass next time.

And it's not just the light that blazes forth from those cellphones, it's also the annoyance of sitting next to someone who is clicky-clacking away on their keypad during a movie. That's almost as distracting as the light.

comment #15

Devin Faraci says ...

Spicer, if I hate movies I have chosen an odd career for myself. Unless I'm a supermasochist.

What I suspect you mean, though, is that I hate dumb, brainless, blockbuster movies that get forcefed to the public every summer. Guilty as charged.

comment #16

MDOC says ...

I was just getting ready to defend Chud, but I see Devin stepped in to do it himself. To call CHUD poisonous is simply off base. Cell phones in the theatre really get under my skin. To use one shows no respect for the people around you. The simplest way to say it is that Eric Kohn has no class.

comment #17

MDOC says ...

I was just getting ready to defend Chud, but I see Devin stepped in to do it himself. To call CHUD poisonous is simply off base. Cell phones in the theatre really get under my skin. To use one shows no respect for the people around you. The simplest way to say it is that Eric Kohn has no class.

comment #18

MDOC says ...

I was just getting ready to defend Chud, but I see Devin stepped in to do it himself. To call CHUD poisonous is simply off base. Cell phones in the theatre really get under my skin. To use one shows no respect for the people around you. The simplest way to say it is that Eric Kohn has no class.

comment #19

MDOC says ...

Sorry for the triple post, I'm not sure how that happened. I'm trying to post this from the 4th row of a Harold and Kumar Escape From Guantanamo Bay matinee. I'm not sure yet, but I think they may escape.

comment #20

EDouglas says ...

Well, they are INDYwire... of course they had to be first :)

comment #21

T. Holly says ...

Made me laugh Ed. They owe me flowers, don't you think?

comment #22

Terry McCarty says ...

Mgmax wrote:
Oh, so the problem isn't that some thoughtless yontz posted a bunch of stream of consciousness bilge during a movie, it's that WE didn't take the time to find out what a thoughtful, deep guy he really is.

Ohhhhhh-kay.

Maybe Kohn is aspiring to be Richard Roeper when he grows up.

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