edited by Jonathan Doyle

Cloverfield [BLU-RAY] (Paramount Home Entertainment, 6.3.2008) Disguised under deliberately goofy, yet deliciously edible-sounding, aliases such as Cheese and Slusho, Matt Reeves' Cloverfield was produced and rushed into theaters under an equally appetizing shroud of secrecy. From last year's incredibly elusive Super Bowl ad to the film's viral marketing campaign, Cloverfield had everybody scratching their heads and drooling in anticipation. Aside from the as-yet untitled title and the Blair Witch-ian visual style, the film's biggest appeal was the enigmatic creature who was last (un)seen hurling the decapitated head of the Statue of Liberty onto the crowded streets of New York City. All we knew about the mysterious beast was that it was big and angry. Now that the highy-anticipated project has come and gone, one question has fortunately been answered: Cloverfield was a major success. (continued)

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Because Brad Silberling (Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events, Casper) is directing, the odds are that Land of the Lost (Universal, 7.17.09), an animated adventure and his latest big-time venture, will turn out decently. But the Lost swag that arrived today was a bust. If you're going to send out swag, send the kind that impresses and not the kind that makes guys like me write little diss pieces like this.

Leaning against my front door was a decent-sized cardboard box containing another cardboard foldout display deal covered in movie art, and inside the box was....a brown T-shirt. With the word "Sleestak" on the chest and a picture of a monkey with saucer-sized Invaders from Mars mutant eyes. Plus a Land of the Lost theme song playing on a dinky little music player that wouldn't work until you popped in the double A batteries.

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Posted by Jeffrey Wells on June 11, 2008 at 4:25 PM

comment #1

MiraJeffAICN says ...

Maybe I'm going color blind but that doesn't look brown to me...

Posted by MiraJeffAICN at June 11, 2008 4:52 PM

comment #2

DarthCorleone says ...

Jeff,

Since you don't care for it, can I PLEEEEEEEAAASSSSEEEEE have that Sleestak shirt? Those scared the hell out of me when I was a little kid. Tell me where, and I'll swing by for it on a moment's notice.

Sincerely,
Old School Land Of The Lost Fan

Posted by DarthCorleone at June 11, 2008 5:00 PM

comment #3

D.Z. says ...

No real point to a Land of the Lost movie, since it's already been done with The Flintstones and Jurassic Park.

Posted by D.Z. at June 11, 2008 5:27 PM

comment #4

Zac Bertschy says ...

They sell that shirt in Hot Topics across the country, so it isn't a custom job for a press kit.

I went on Ye Olde Universal Studios tram tour about a week before the place caught fire and we drove past the studio where this is filming. There was a metric ton of incredibly fake-looking foam jungle foliage stacked up in big piles with a couple dudes working on more. I wonder what kind of tone Ferrel is going for with this.

Posted by Zac Bertschy at June 11, 2008 6:19 PM

comment #5

corey3rd says ...

Speed Racer meets Semi-Pro!

Posted by corey3rd at June 11, 2008 8:35 PM

comment #6

clumsymonster says ...

Hate to bite on the lame hipster nostalgia, but that shirt is great. Like Darth, the Sleestaks were my first fear so I'll take the shirt over the movie... because the movie can not be good although I secretly have hope...

Posted by clumsymonster at June 11, 2008 9:04 PM

comment #7

Rosebudsthesled says ...

Brad Siberling=lame.

Posted by Rosebudsthesled at June 11, 2008 11:13 PM

comment #8

Edward Havens says ...

Funny, I jgot an anonymous package today with copies of some Land of the Lost storyboards. Maybe someone at Universal sent me the wrong package...

Posted by Edward Havens at June 11, 2008 11:21 PM

comment #9

CinemaPhreek says ...

It's been turned into a Will Farrell comedy????

What a waste and stupid too, considering how much kids love dinosaurs. They should have left it alone, the story of a dad and two kids.

Time to fuck up another show from my youth...

Posted by CinemaPhreek at June 12, 2008 12:20 AM

comment #10

Feathers McGraw says ...

I just love the raging sense of entitlement that leads someone to publicly critique the quality of stuff that someone sent him for free. It's like the first time I went to a premiere party and saw that they actually give already wealthy people free stuff for showing up and getting to see a movie before everyone else does. Bizarre.

Posted by Feathers McGraw at June 12, 2008 7:23 AM

comment #11

Devin Faraci says ...

I couldn't get the little speaker on mine to play at all.

Posted by Devin Faraci at June 12, 2008 10:26 AM

comment #12

Bocephus says ...

The foam rubber fills me with hope.

Don't give me that "spoiling my childhood memories" crap. Land of the Lost was never "good" in any sense of the word. And neither were any non-educational kid's TV shows that came before Batman: The Animated Series. All you need to do to spoil your childhood memories is to pop in an old LOTL tape and re-watch it.

The best we can hope for is a so-bad-it's-good flick slathered with camp. Farrell is perfect because you know he won't take it seriously. The last thing we need is another deathly serious remake of an original camp classic like Lost in Space or Speed Racer.

Posted by Bocephus at June 12, 2008 12:24 PM