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Feel His Pain
I've "known" (i.e., been phone-chatting with) director Rob Cohen since the early '90s, and have always found him bright, affable, witty, open. He's a Harvard University grad and a very good gabber. I remember what a terrific job he did seven years ago on The Fast and The Furious, and how he recaptured that old Sam Arkoff-ian, American International Pictures B-movie vibe, and particularly how he fought to end it on a note of justice rather than legality.
But everything Coen has done since has been (and it pains me to say this) either cheesy or bloated or forced or otherwise problematic. And now comes his latest, The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor, which, to go by a couple of friends who've seen it and particularly by the word of Variety critic Todd McCarthy, looks like a piece of shit. T
The cretins, I'm sure, will pay to see the new Mummy movie in droves anyway. It is immaterial to me and mine whether financial profit ensues. If you haven't made a movie with genuine spirit and spunk and a semblance of originality, you've dishonored the movie gods and deserve to be punished.
Here's a January '07 assessment about how and why Cohen got the Mummy job some eighteen months ago. It's a tough world out there with the once-respectable Universal churning one groaner after another in recent months and loathsome hacks like Stephen Sommers always ready and eager to soil and pollute. I'm sorry things are like this. I feel badly for everyone, truly. I would rather feel love than vent hate.
Here's an excerpt from an interview piece I ran about Cohen and The Fast and the Furious back in '01, when I was writing for Reel.com:
"One of things I liked best about TFatF is its ending. It feels earned, justified, 'right.' In my book, a good ending is at least 50% of the game. I won't spoil Cohen's finale, but it involves a cop letting a criminal slide because friendship and mutual respect have developed between them over the course of the film.
"The last two lines before the film goes to credits are 'Do you know what you're doing?' and 'I owed you a ten-second car.' As endings go, it's damn near perfect. I was somewhere between 75% and 80% positive on the film before it happened. Afterwards, I was totally sold.
"Cohen says, 'There was a lot of nervousness from Universal execs about [the ending], and I had to fight for it. One thing I said is that the honor among these characters is what's going to work on a heart level. There's a difference between legality and justice...and we opted for justice. We went out on a note of honor."
"The fact that it ends without the bad guy getting cuffed or killed is a certifiable plus for the sheer fact of its unusualness. 'Some of the best movies end with a delicious ambiguity,' Cohen explains. 'Ending it this way was the perfect thing...it was like cutting a diamond.
"I knew what I was doing [with this film]," says Cohen. "I was after a B-movie with style and heart about a world and a subculture that is true to the world and not some rainbow-coalition Gap ad. My greatest hope was that a multi-ethnic audience would show up...and that's what happened last weekend. I was happier that this happened, more than the $40 million...but I've gotta tell you, this is one fucking happy day."
See what I mean? Cohen is no dummy. He gets it and then some. He understands that movies are nothing without the internals. Then why has the poor guy been out of the groove since '01, or at least not found one as good or satisfying? It'sd puzzling.
The IMDB says that Cohen's next film, which he'll direct and produce, may be King of the Nudies, a dramedy based on the life of Russ Meyer. That sounds like a good 'un. Here's hoping.
Posted by Jeffrey Wells on July 31, 2008 at 8:40 AM
comment #1
DavidF says ...
Rob Cohen is a Harvard grad? He may be a nice guy and all that but, based on his film work, he is now slightly behind George W Bush on my Top 10 List of people I can't believe went to an Ivy League school....When The Fast and the Furious is the best thing on your resume, "hack" is a title to aspire to, isn't it?
Posted by DavidF at July 31, 2008 9:33 AM
comment #2
breadlymoore says ...
*Will Smith voice* "Aw, hells naw!"
Don't tell me there's going to be this swell of nostalgic love for FAST AND FURIOUS.
The film is pure junk and has aged poorly. The performances are rank, the stunts uninspired, and it represents the worst Hollywood itches to pander to mouthbreathing teens.
Nope. I will personally stop this train if forced to.
Posted by breadlymoore at July 31, 2008 9:37 AM
comment #3
breadlymoore says ...
Sorry, FAST AND THE FURIOUS, not to be confused with the fourth film FAST AND FURIOUS.
Also: "Cohen is no dummy"
Field goal Yeti scene, Jeff. The field goal Yetis...
Posted by breadlymoore at July 31, 2008 9:40 AM
comment #4
Yves says ...
It's too high of a standard, in my opinion, to hold the business of filmmaking against the art of filmmaking. When you're a young man, you've got some fight in you, but as you get older, it's easier to just call in a job than hustle to do it right. That is, unless you don't care about being comfortable and can afford to go long periods without work. Kubrick took a long time between movies because he wouldn't work on something he wasn't satisfied with, or had the most control over. I'd re-write this to attack the industry rather than the man. Wells said it best (Orson, not Jeffrey), when he said he would have been more successful if he left the movie business sooner and done something else, "it's about 2% movie making and 98% hustling. It's no way to spend a life," he said. If the industry can break a genius like Wells, how does Cohen have a chance?
Posted by Yves at July 31, 2008 9:54 AM
comment #5
DarthCorleone says ...
The Fast And The Furious is not good.
Posted by DarthCorleone at July 31, 2008 9:56 AM
comment #6
Bilge says ...
"I won't spoil Cohen's finale, but it involves a cop letting a criminal slide because friendship and mutual respect have developed between them over the course of the film."
Priceless. Vintage Wells.
Posted by Bilge at July 31, 2008 9:57 AM
comment #7
Yves says ...
That's "Welles", not "Wells". Maybe I thought there was a relation.
Posted by Yves at July 31, 2008 9:57 AM
comment #8
lazespud says ...
I wonder who will play Ebert in the Meyer biopic.
I got totally turned off to Cohen by listening the commentary track to XXX. As he's describing an action scene filmed (I think) along the river in prague where a stuntman is dangling from a rapidly moving helicopter past and over bridges, he mentions that the stuntman was killed doing the stunt. It was like a punch in the gut because he said it gravely, but it still sounded cavalier. And I was thinking to myself, how shitty to die making a terrible movie like XXX.
Posted by lazespud at July 31, 2008 10:02 AM
comment #9
Josh Massey says ...
"I won't spoil Shyamalan's finale, but it involves a psychiatrist finding out that, in fact, he's been dead the entire film."
"I won't spoil Schaffner's finale, but it involves the Statue of Liberty and the idea that Heston was on a futuristic Earth the whole time."
"I won't spoil Welles's finale, but it involves a sled named Rosebud."
Posted by Josh Massey at July 31, 2008 10:10 AM
comment #10
iamjoe says ...
You know, I actually liked Cohen's Dragon: The Bruce Lee Story. It didn't try to aspire to anything lofty, but was a respectable straight foward popcorn flick. Everything since though, has been on my keep away list...
Posted by iamjoe at July 31, 2008 10:18 AM
comment #11
George Prager says ...
Cohen's first film was "A Small Circle of Friends." Set at Harvard, Frank Rich has a speaking role as a Harvard Crimson editor. The kind of movie that Cinemax used to show at 10am on a weekday morning.
Posted by George Prager at July 31, 2008 10:20 AM
comment #12
D.Z. says ...
Cohen's gonna be hosting a screening of Mummy 3 at the Arclight on Friday.
Posted by D.Z. at July 31, 2008 10:20 AM
comment #13
DarthCorleone says ...
I completely take it back with apologies. I have not seen The Fast And The Furious. Go figure - I was mixing it up with Gone In 60 Seconds.
I do, however, think Dragon: The Bruce Lee Story was excellent.
Posted by DarthCorleone at July 31, 2008 10:31 AM
comment #14
Richardson says ...
'The Mummy 3' looks like exactly the sort of really stupid, pretty fun dumb movie as the first one (and a lot of the second one, before the CGI-Rock-scorpion showed up). Huge armies of the undead fighting each other? Three headed dragons? Fist-fighting a Yeti?
I'm sold. It looks more entertaining-to-watch than 'Dark Knight' ever did.
Posted by Richardson at July 31, 2008 10:38 AM
comment #15
Mr. Blood Vessel says ...
"One of things I liked best about TFatF is its ending. It feels earned, justified, 'right.' In my book, a good ending is at least 50% of the game. I won't spoil Cohen's finale, but it involves a cop letting a criminal slide because friendship and mutual respect have developed between them over the course of the film.
really, Jeff?
I thought that was the studio driven ending I have ever seen.
Posted by Mr. Blood Vessel at July 31, 2008 10:48 AM
comment #16
DavidF says ...
I saw Fast and Furious and XXX on DVD and recall both being mildly entertaining and largely inoffensive (though Wells' description of the finale of the former film now reminds me it bore some resemblance to Point Break....or am I misremembering that too?)
Anyway,I wonder if Hollywood would work better if these kinds of directors were slotted in a more straightforward manner:
-Ridley Scott, Jim Cameron or another real director does a movie.
-Brett Rattner does the sequel which makes money and gets okay reviews
-Rob Cohen and/or Stephen Sommers does the 3rd one which makes enough to justify a fourth movie for people who like "Cool shit that blows up."
-Enter Paul WS Anderson
In that scheme, Cohen directing the third film in a Sommers franchise seems to fit perfectly into the natural order of things.
Posted by DavidF at July 31, 2008 11:12 AM
comment #17
Rothchild says ...
Josh Massey beat me to it.
I love Fast and the Furious and the ending. Point Break ended with Bodhi killing himself. Much different stuff.
And I have to add:
Watch yo back
Watch yo watch yo back
Watch yo watch yo watch yo back
Posted by Rothchild at July 31, 2008 11:23 AM
comment #18
Mgmax says ...
"The kind of movie that Cinemax used to show at 10am on a weekday morning."
Nailed. Beautiful.
Posted by Mgmax at July 31, 2008 11:25 AM
comment #19
DarthCorleone says ...
Yes, Bodhi killed himself, but it's what Bodhi would have done whether the cops were there or not. He was going to surf that wave.
Utah had a choice between bringing Bodhi in - as he was lawfully obliged to do - and respecting the lawless thrill for life that Bodhi had taught him as well as their friendship by letting him go. Utah ultimately goes against the law, and that's why he throws his badge into the ocean (echoes of Dirty Harry).
Posted by DarthCorleone at July 31, 2008 11:34 AM
comment #20
C-PhreekII says ...
The cretins, I'm sure, will pay to see the new Mummy movie in droves
Droves? With DARK KNIGHT still chugging along so strong? A friend had to settle for a very crowded mid-day IMAX screening after he found that all the mid-week evening shows were still sold out.
I'd be very surprised if MUMMY 3 gets over $35M this weekend and that's only because it's the summer & I have a feeling that younger teens aren't into seeing KNIGHT multiple times like older ones.
Posted by C-PhreekII at July 31, 2008 11:38 AM
comment #21
T. S. Idiot says ...
Getting back to Cohen and Harvard, it's likely that Junior Bush isn't the only lamebrain to slip through the Ivy League. We must remember that G. R. Ford, our dumbest president pre-W, had a Yale law degree. I once knew someone with a Ph.D. in Victorian lit from Cornell who had never read Moby-Dick or anything by Shakespeare and was a complete ditz.
Posted by T. S. Idiot at July 31, 2008 12:25 PM
comment #22
The Winchester says ...
Not one mention of the cinematic abortion that is Stealth?!?! I expect better from this crowd.
On a similar note, I used to be a courier right before Stealth was released. Rob Cohen had a nice parking spot, front and center by the Capra building. Two weeks after Stealth opened, the spot was vacant, and Cohen's nameplate was gone. That, sir, is justice. (I'd still like my $10 back, though).
I always liked the action scenes and the cinematography of the Fast and The Furious (even if the movie is Point Break, almost note for note), and I miss the subtle nuances of the first one in the subsequent sequels. But Daylight, XXX, Stealth, and The Skulls anger me.
Posted by The Winchester at July 31, 2008 12:26 PM
comment #23
lazespud says ...
T.S. Says: "We must remember that G. R. Ford, our dumbest president pre-W, had a Yale law degree. I once knew someone with a Ph.D. in Victorian lit from Cornell who had never read Moby-Dick or anything by Shakespeare and was a complete ditz."
Ford had a reputation as a physical bumbler, but I've never heard that he was "our dumbest president Pre-W". Where did that come from? And don't say "because he pardoned Nixon... that might have been evil, or it might have been canny, or generous, but it's not indicative of "dumb."
And your point about the friend with a ph.D in Victorian lit having not read Shakespeare or Moby-Dick... how in the world is that possible? I mean I know that Shakespeare massively pre-dates the Victorian era, but to get to a ph.D. program in a specific era of literature, one would assume that you would have had many, many more general lit courses as an undergrad or master's candidate and you would have had a general interest in literature given the years of work involved in getting the doctorate. Not calling you out for fibbing; I just have zero clue how this could be possible...
Posted by lazespud at July 31, 2008 12:36 PM
comment #24
Vince says ...
My favorite Cohen credit remains The Rat Pack, the HBO film he directed ten years ago. Not perfectly cast, but the script by Kario Salem had a nice amount of swagger.
Posted by Vince at July 31, 2008 1:05 PM
comment #25
DavidF says ...
Winchester - I thought Stealth was just way too obvious to bring up.
Your request for your $10 back suggests you actually saw it. In a a theatre. AND you saw Daylight? And The Skulls? You're just a glutton for punishment, ain't you?
Thank you all for substantiating that F&F is the same as Point Break. I've only ever seen those movies once each so I wasn't sure I was remembering right but certainly the whole thing with the cop buying into the cool, "catch the wave, live free" attitude of his nemesis seemed familiar.
So, the real question is this: When they go to make XXX2 and F&F2, is Cohen so bad that he doesn't get offered the gig or is he so high on himself that he turns the gigs down?
Posted by DavidF at July 31, 2008 1:07 PM
comment #26
Richardson says ...
"and that's why he throws his badge into the ocean (echoes of Dirty Harry)."
I think you mean echoes of Dirty Harry echoing High Noon.
Posted by Richardson at July 31, 2008 1:29 PM
comment #27
The Hoyk says ...
I should play Ebert. Can you get me a reading?
Posted by The Hoyk at July 31, 2008 2:18 PM
comment #28
T. S. Idiot says ...
"Not calling you out for fibbing; I just have zero clue how this could be possible..." I don't understand either, but this admission came from her own luscious lips.
Gerry Ford had a reputation for being slow on the take. Nixon supposedly picked him to replace Agnew because Congress would never impeach him and make Ford president.
While I deny the cliche that the news media is liberal, it definitely was in one instance. During the 1976 president race, NBC interviewed kindergarten kids about who they would vote for if they could vote. The report ended with a boy saying he couldn't vote for Ford because he's too dumb. Cut to a snickering David Brinkley.
Posted by T. S. Idiot at July 31, 2008 4:16 PM
comment #29
moviemaniac2002 says ...
"Stealth" bombed so badly, the .studio pulled
the plug on what was to have been Cohen's
next opus..."The 8th Voyage of Sinbad" with
Keanu Reeves. You know...I would have
rather seen that produced instead of "Mummy 3"
Posted by moviemaniac2002 at July 31, 2008 8:20 PM
comment #30
Cassy2008 says ...
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Posted by Cassy2008 at August 1, 2008 2:50 AM
comment #31
Terry McCarty says ...
lazespud wrote:
I wonder who will play Ebert in the Meyer biopic.
Michael Lerner?
Posted by Terry McCarty at August 1, 2008 12:15 PM
comment #32
Josh Massey says ...
"Gerry Ford had a reputation for being slow on the take."
Wildly, wildly, wildly incorrect. Read Greenspan's book for some wonderful insights on Ford's intelligence and his reputation.
Posted by Josh Massey at August 2, 2008 6:06 AM
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