Feta Whoopee

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Given David Poland's tendency to sound a little queeny and sometimes super-malleable when it comes to musicals, his 7.9 pan of Mamma Mia! is a significant thing. It's also one of the funniest and best-written slams he's ever posted on MCN.

Other opinions will obviously add to the stew, but henceforth those who are determined to see this film with their friends and have a great time (i.e., the Sex and the City crowd) with a truly un-self-conscious girly-girl attitude are going to have to figure ways to keep themselves d & d between now and when they see it. So as not to permit discordant voices to, you know, muddle the experience.

"Hiring the stage director who doesn't have the slightest idea how to shoot a movie and has no real understanding of why a movie is not simply the stage show on film," Poland begins. "And this is, simply, why Mamma Mia! is a pretty terrible movie.

"Worse than Rent. Worse than Annie (a movie with three numbers that really work and an overall tone that does not). But it is one step better than the conversion of The Producers, as it is a jukebox musical and actually requires very little sophistication... just more than Phyllida Lloyd could deliver from behind a movie camera.

"I had a hard time getting a handle on what exactly they were going for with this melange of beautiful settings, terrible green screen (or whatever technique they used to leave massive lines around the actors' heads when they were looking out onto the sea from the hotel), overt breaking out in song, 60-is-the-new-45 casting, big energy, little consistency, a stunning amount of obvious ADR-ed/dubbed dialogue scenes like we haven't seen/heard in an American movie in a long, long time, and the bravest performance of Pierce Brosnan's career since anyone who sings like that choosing to expose himself to the public is daring indeed.

"After about 30 minutes, it hit me. They were making an AIP beach movie...Gidget Goes Grecian...How To Stuff A Wild Souvlaki...Marital Beach Party. It's meant to be rollicking, cheesy, brain-dead good fun.

"I'm not kidding. There is a distinct filmmaking style that suggests that they looked at these films as a template. (Exec Producer Tom Hanks has also shown his interest in that period, including with his own directorial debut, That Thing You Do.) The problem is that the filmmaking doesn't deliver on that either. Ms. Lloyd just doesn't know what she is doing with the camera. She leaves some very talented people hanging in the breeze as she fails to understand the language of film and how to support the ideas of her actors' performances with how she shoots the images."

I wouldn't be surprised if right now the Hollywood Reporter's Ray Bennett is out buying a fishing hat and dark shades and thinking about gassing his car in preparation for a trip to Mexico. He's probably at least asking himself, "Is it nobler to stay in the States as my reputation as the guy who gave an enormous wet kiss to this film grows, or is it smarter to duck out now and wait until it all blows over?"

Full disclosure: Why haven't I run my own review? Well, I showed up at last Monday's screening at the Landmark (which I'd RSVP'ed to a couple of weeks prior) only to be told that Universal publicists didn't want me to see it. So I guess I'll just wait until July 18th to (a) confirm my suspicions or (b) fall surprisingly in love, or (c) arrive at some in-between place.

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Posted by Jeffrey Wells on July 9, 2008 at 1:10 PM

comment #1

Geoff says ...

Do you make any kind of fuss when that happens? Or in your profession is it best to just smile and shrug it off?

Posted by Geoff at July 9, 2008 1:38 PM

comment #2

breadlymoore says ...

Yet Poland loved HAIRSPRAY, which was screen poison.

Posted by breadlymoore at July 9, 2008 1:41 PM

comment #3

adaml says ...

I don't believe it for a second. Nothing can be worse than Annie. Nothing.

Posted by adaml at July 9, 2008 1:46 PM

comment #4

Redmond says ...

I second Geoff's question: How do you react do you a move like that?

Posted by Redmond at July 9, 2008 1:48 PM

comment #5

Howlingman says ...

Jeeze, Jeff, you dodged a bullet there. Every day henceforth is a gift.

Posted by Howlingman at July 9, 2008 2:16 PM

comment #6

rgmax99 says ...

I would wager some pretzels that Wells did respond to the kiss-off by writing the fantastic letter featured in his "Boom, Fart, Whee! and Splat" post a few stories down.

Posted by rgmax99 at July 9, 2008 2:19 PM

comment #7

Mgmax, le Corbeau says ...

My mother-in-law LOVED The Mirror Has Two Faces.

That's who the audience for this movie is.

Posted by Mgmax, le Corbeau at July 9, 2008 2:34 PM

comment #8

hepwa says ...

It may be early, but an 80% rating at RT, plus a big chunk of favorable British, Australian and New Zealand reviews will only add to the HR review. A hell of a lot more people read local paper reviews than the ramblings of bloggers who didn't get laid in high school (or are currently lamenting the same).

"Mamma Mia" will be one of the top ten movies of the Summer and maybe the year.

Posted by hepwa at July 9, 2008 2:49 PM

comment #9

Brock Landers says ...

So, it's a graceless, lumbering mediocrity - just like SEX AND THE CITY.

MAMMA MIA is going to hit that same SATC sweet-spot. A lack of cinematic grace notes won't matter. 'Cheesy, brain-dead good fun' should get them to $80-$100 million, easy.

Get ready to have those ABBA songs drilled into your cranium.

Posted by Brock Landers at July 9, 2008 2:56 PM

comment #10

rgmax99 says ...

Sitting through THE MIRROR HAS TWO FACES was akin to being skinned alive while sitting in a vat of rubbing alcohol.

I can safely say seeing MAMMA MIA! would be just as horrific.

Posted by rgmax99 at July 9, 2008 3:12 PM

comment #11

dp4m says ...

Which Annie are we talking about here? 'cause if anyone's gonna disparage the Eileen Quinn version, with Carol Burnett + Bernadette Peters + Tim Curry singing, we will come to fisticuffs!

What's that? Hand in my testicles on the way out again? Sigh...

Posted by dp4m at July 9, 2008 3:12 PM

comment #12

George Prager says ...

I'm confused. Why is everyone thinking that this is going to be a hit? If this makes more money than, say...THE BANGER SISTERS, I'd be shocked. It might make more money than THE LEMON SISTERS. It will definitely make more money than SISTERS, SISTER and SISTER MY SISTER.

Posted by George Prager at July 9, 2008 3:27 PM

comment #13

nemo says ...

ABBA songs, OK. But Meryl Streep grinning and cavorting around wearing overalls? No way.

Posted by nemo at July 9, 2008 3:44 PM

comment #14

George Prager says ...

Streep in the trailer reminds me of Jill Clayburgh singing "Sea Cruise" on the old SNL/

Posted by George Prager at July 9, 2008 3:56 PM

comment #15

Edward says ...

Thanks for reminding of the awfulness of THE MIRROR HAS TWO FACES. Any talk about inept directing has to include that sorry piece of celluloid.

Posted by Edward at July 9, 2008 4:30 PM

comment #16

The Winchester says ...

But George, this isn't about sisters. It's about Mammas. Mammas generally make more money than sisters.

Posted by The Winchester at July 9, 2008 4:42 PM

comment #17

aussieanywhere says ...

Jeff, i really hope you see the film - i need someone else's opinion on the absolutely appalling digital retouching to Meryl Streep through the entire film.

I saw the film projected digitally, which may have enhanced the problem, but it is horribly distracting.

Hopefully it wasn't done at Streep's urging (she's never come across as a vain actress) - but regardless, whoever the studio engaged clearly didn't know where to stop.

Posted by aussieanywhere at July 9, 2008 4:43 PM

comment #18

Zimmergirl says ...

Hairspray, Phantom - Poland has terrible taste. Not only that, did you really have to quote his whole review? A link wasn't good enough? Besides, there is no way in fuck it's worse than Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull which you and Poland gave a major pass to. That was an embarrassment. Oh wait, there's a teenage boy in it.

Posted by Zimmergirl at July 9, 2008 7:13 PM

comment #19

Platinum Bob says ...

International sales will boost MM - it's going to be huge across Europe but I can't see a SATC-type breakout hit in the US.

Posted by Platinum Bob at July 9, 2008 9:43 PM

comment #20

Josh says ...

No one with a penis will be seeing this.

Posted by Josh at July 10, 2008 6:50 AM

comment #21

truman30 says ...

I'm going to see Mamma Mia tonight at a special screening and am looking forward to it, not because I think it's going to be some kind of masterpiece (I'll be stunned if it's more than a guilty pleasure, Meryl and all) but rather because it's at least a respite from the big, loud special-effects laden event movies I've been subjected to week-after-week. I suspect that in part is why Sex and the City was a hit, and I think the same will happen here.

This is my first time posting a comment though I read Jeff every day, and one of the things that's been bugging me lately is the toxic response from HE readers on this site to these films simply because they are aimed at women and women seem to be responding. In a marketplace where 98% of everything made is specifically for men and teenage boys (or at least seems to be), is it really so awful that every now and then, Hollywood makes one for the rest of the population?

Don't get me wrong. SATC and I'm sure Mamma Mia! are no artistic triumphs, and of course it would be nice if someone would bankroll something aimed at this demo that was. But isn't that the case with most of the summer movies these days? Most women get dragged by their boyfriends all the time to the latest Adam Sandler movie, which I'm sure they probably have no interest in. Is it really so awful to ask men to do the same now and then?

Posted by truman30 at July 10, 2008 11:18 AM

comment #22

hcat says ...

Popeye was worse than Annie. And if either of the people who saw Rooftops could let us know where that ranks on the musical travisty list, it would be appreciated.

Still think this is going to make $400 worldwide. I had been looking forward to this until I saw the first trailer and saw this repulsive looking trash. After having the Producers turn into a deplorable mess, you would think Universal would insist on an actual film director to avoid the same problems. Even someone as hacky as Kenny Ortega would have turned in something somewhat professional looking.

Posted by hcat at July 10, 2008 11:59 AM

comment #23

hcat says ...

And the Pirate Movie would have to be the all time worst musical. I had fond childhood memories of it until I caught it FMC a month ago. Apparently I was a stupid child.

Posted by hcat at July 10, 2008 12:19 PM

comment #24

Edward says ...

Am I alone in my fondness for Popeye? I've seen it several times and really enjoy it.

Posted by Edward at July 10, 2008 4:14 PM

comment #25

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comment #26