edited by Jonathan Doyle

Cloverfield [BLU-RAY] (Paramount Home Entertainment, 6.3.2008) Disguised under deliberately goofy, yet deliciously edible-sounding, aliases such as Cheese and Slusho, Matt Reeves' Cloverfield was produced and rushed into theaters under an equally appetizing shroud of secrecy. From last year's incredibly elusive Super Bowl ad to the film's viral marketing campaign, Cloverfield had everybody scratching their heads and drooling in anticipation. Aside from the as-yet untitled title and the Blair Witch-ian visual style, the film's biggest appeal was the enigmatic creature who was last (un)seen hurling the decapitated head of the Statue of Liberty onto the crowded streets of New York City. All we knew about the mysterious beast was that it was big and angry. Now that the highy-anticipated project has come and gone, one question has fortunately been answered: Cloverfield was a major success. (continued)

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After months of shadowing, it would appear that those tenacious big-game hunters from Lantana, Florida, finally cornered their prized North Carolinian leopard in the Beverly Hills hotel this morning and threw a net over him. Or so it would seem. This is the scenario that some (like Slate's Mickey Kaus, having heard the stories) predicted would happen sooner or later. The running-up-and-down-the-stairs and into-the-cellar part sounds so humiliating. We live in a diseased and predatory culture.

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Posted by Jeffrey Wells on July 22, 2008 at 06:04 PM

comment #1

CinemaPhreek says ...

Can someone email me when Wells gets back from vacation, because this shit with Perez Hilton subbing for him just ain't working.

Really, Wells, this shit AND two items about Bale's incident in the UK? When are we getting the horoscopes and alien abductions too?

Posted by CinemaPhreek at July 22, 2008 06:18 PM

comment #2

Mgmax says ...

Be fair, he wrote some really good stuff a coupla days ago. Me, I'm just amused that an apparently true story about Edwards is a sign of a sick culture, but a transparently fake one about Bush is movie-worthy.

Anyway, if Edwards had really been a leopard, John Kerry would be running for re-election. They were more like peacock and mouse.

Posted by Mgmax at July 22, 2008 06:32 PM

comment #3

redmond says ...

CinemaPhreek, Bale is in the number one weekend Box Office opener and it's the hottest thing since sliced bread, so you're going to knock Jeff for commenting on the star's ultimately unnecessary arrest? That shit was unbelievably relevant today.

As for this Edwards piece, Jeff writes about politics. That really shouldn't be a news flash.

Posted by redmond at July 22, 2008 06:33 PM

comment #4

JHRussell says ...

I love how the Enquirer staff "observed" this and that, but there isn't a single photo to support it...

Posted by JHRussell at July 22, 2008 06:44 PM

comment #5

CinemaPhreek says ...

Redmond, check the source

Posted by CinemaPhreek at July 22, 2008 06:55 PM

comment #6

corey3rd says ...

that woman looks like she was a special guest on the Steve Wilkos show. Or the blond on MadTV when she plays the insane old lady.

Was this woman too poor to afford birth control?

Posted by corey3rd at July 22, 2008 07:08 PM

comment #7

Rich S. says ...

You do have to admire Jeffrey's facsimile of HST, though.

Posted by Rich S. at July 22, 2008 07:14 PM

comment #8

redmond says ...

Cinema, I saw the source and read the article. It's still Jeff on politics despite the tabloid origin.

But I'm with JHRussell. Where are the pics/video? No one's running with this yet either. You figure FOX News would grow a neo-con boner for this one.

Posted by redmond at July 22, 2008 07:24 PM

comment #9

chappiesan says ...

Man, I would love to see that video footage while kicking back and enjoying a nice Miller Chill.

Posted by chappiesan at July 22, 2008 07:36 PM

comment #10

BurmaShave says ...

Could we at least wait for sources other than The National Enquirer and a Media Matters article that disputes the story?

My guess is this is Hillary's people killing one of her biggest rivals for the VP slot. Haha just kidding. Sort of. Tim Kaine and Sam Nunn are the best bets because they are clearly not sexual.

Posted by BurmaShave at July 22, 2008 08:19 PM

comment #11

BurmaShave says ...

Could we at least wait for sources other than The National Enquirer and a Media Matters article that disputes the story?

My guess is this is Hillary's people killing one of her biggest rivals for the VP slot. Haha just kidding. Sort of. Tim Kaine and Sam Nunn are the best bets because they are clearly not sexual.

Posted by BurmaShave at July 22, 2008 08:20 PM

comment #12

MDOC says ...

It's impossible to believe that someone who made a fortune manipulating hay seed juries could be capable of such machinations.

Posted by MDOC at July 22, 2008 08:34 PM

comment #13

EOTW says ...

Why is anyone surprised when scumbags do scumbag worthy things? The guy's an ambulance chaser. Scary guys like this get elected to public office of any level.

Posted by EOTW at July 22, 2008 09:11 PM

comment #14

CinemaPhreek says ...

10 years in the national public eye and all some of you can come up with is "manipulating hay seed juries" and "The guy's an ambulance chaser."

No wonder you turn to this site for your political discourse.

Posted by CinemaPhreek at July 23, 2008 01:13 AM

comment #15

SpinDozer says ...

'I'm just amused that an apparently true story about Edwards is a sign of a sick culture, but a transparently fake one about Bush is movie-worthy.'

Haw Haw I know what you mean. Mickey’s gonna have a cyber circle jerk on this one, but will somehow not manage to sustain much interest in similar revelations regarding McCain. The other funny bit is PJ-hadeen sophistos yuking it up over "Microsoft 74" even tho its been proven that similar undisputed documents are in W’s file and that many of the witnesses who say the docs are forgeries also say they are accurately reflect what happened back in 74. Tee Hee.

Posted by SpinDozer at July 23, 2008 05:10 AM

comment #16

Midwest Doug says ...

Jeff, does this explain why Edwards was reluctant to endorse anyone, for fear the scandal would break at the same time?

Posted by Midwest Doug at July 23, 2008 06:14 AM

comment #17

SpinDozer says ...

'does this explain...'

Doubtful. Kaus has been on tenderhooks since before Edwards left the race.

Posted by SpinDozer at July 23, 2008 09:30 AM

comment #18

T. S. Idiot says ...

T. S. Idiot's Gentlemen's Guide to Sexual Etiquette says never to have intercourse with a woman wearing a heart on her chest or with a woman who looks like a man. Two strikes on the desperate senator. Love child, indeed.

Posted by T. S. Idiot at July 23, 2008 11:08 AM