comment #1

Sax says ...

I can't resist pasting in this commentary I posted on Open Salon a few eeks ago:

I wear pink crocs.
My son got them originally, as part of a publicity give-away at party early June three years ago. They were too big for him. He didnÂ’t like the color. I tried them on, just for fun -- and scarcely wore any other shoes until the next winter. The crocs were supernaturally comfortable, easy to slip on and off (excellent for those early morning dog walks); best of all, they were free.
But I had no idea what I was getting myself into. It turns out that a man wearing pink crocs transforms himself into a kind of cultural touchstone, a walking sociological laboratory for the study of gender politics and iconography. No one was neutral about my footwear that summer. Everyone weighed in: women for the most part thought they were sexy. I was ‘secure enough in my sexuality” to flaunt such a provocative wardrobe item. I had clearly “embraced” my “feminine side” and showed a refreshing indifference to ridicule. In fact, there was quite a bit of ridicule. Friends remarked lightly “You know how gay you look, right?” ; troglodytes jeered “Faggot!” at me as I walked past.
This instinctive twitch of homophobia, this tourrettes syndrome shout-out of socially approved bigotry reared up everywhere, like ant hills on a suburban lawn. A tenured professor at a major University accosted me one morning and said “Cute crocs,” in a cringe-worthy “gay” voice. “Oh yeah,” I said, deflecting the obvious intent of the remark, “They’re chick magnets. Women love them.”
“Boys, too, I bet,” he said with a little smirk.
I guess heÂ’d figured out my dirty little secret. Good thing IÂ’m not his teaching assistant.
The whole business is especially strange because I live on Nantucket where localized fashion embraces wearing pink pants – or ‘Nantucket Reds,” as they’re called. The pants, dyed red at the factory, soon fade to a color not unlike the tint of my crocs. This coincidence counts for nothing. Pink means gay. The blush brands anyone who wears it, and the disruptive controversy follows you like a poodle on a leash. I suppose if you actually were gay it would be a convenient marker, like the little pink triangles some lesbians sport on their pick-up trucks. So maybe people are just annoyed when you send out a confusing signal. And I soon realized that there’s no social stigma about gay-bashing; it’s a safe way to vent hostility and feel superior. A broad spectrum of society, from academics to day laborers, from Ecuadorian immigrants to New England matrons, from every race and religion, from every region and upbringing seem take gays as a suitable target. It’s politically correct; it’s Biblically approved. It’s fun for the whole family. Canny political operatives can leverage the specter of gay marriage to defeat an otherwise unassailable opponent. I knew intellectually that this prejudice was ubiquitous.
But I never felt it, until I wore the pink crocs. No gay man had ever said to me, “Walk a mile in my pink crocs … ” I did it, though, however inadvertently.
But now my situation is changing.
The first pair of crocs are wearing out. IÂ’m going to have to buy new ones soon. Do I buy pink crocs and confirm my political position? Or do I buy ordinary grey ones and bow out? I decided to buy more pink crocs because I realized that I actually enjoy these new encounters. I relish the instant snap-shot I get when people respond in this visceral, unguarded way to the color of my sandals. It tells me more about them than theyÂ’d probably like me to know.
A tough-as-nails New York business woman can be startled into a moment of flirtation (“Now that’s a real man.”); the Professor with the AIDS ribbon on his car can turn out to be a creep.
And the tattooed carpenter in NY Giants sweatshirt can glance down with an admiring grin and say “Bold move, dude.”
The world is full of surprises when you wear pink crocs.
And thatÂ’s the best reason I can think of to keep on wearing them.

comment #2

LexG says ...

Gruver, Bill Maher did a funny NEW RULES on this very subject:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nDzZPmT8kFM

comment #3

Chase Kahn says ...

Crocs are ridiculous...

...that's all I have to say

comment #4

Mgmax says ...

"I haven't seen any real men wearing them"

Don't go in the kitchen of your favorite restaurant, then.

I actually tend to agree that there's something infantile about trodding around in them (though occasionally I walk to the Starbucks a block away in them if I need coffee before I've taken a shower) but they have their place and that place is a kitchen when you're cooking for a couple of hours straight without sitting down. They are wonderful there.

comment #5

BurmaShave says ...

Sax, I promise you, no one thought they were sexy. Certainly not women. It's possible you are attractive enough to get away with wearing hideous things, but I promise you no one was thinking "Oh check out the guy in the pink crocs". Does not compute.

comment #6

sweet_billy says ...

"I can't resist pasting in this commentary I posted on Open Salon a few eeks ago:

I wear pink crocs.
My son got them originally, as part of a publicity give-away at party early June three years ago. They were too big for him. He didn’t like the color. I tried them on, just for fun -- and scarcely wore any other shoes until the next winter. The crocs were supernaturally comfortable, easy to slip on and off (excellent for those early morning dog walks); best of all, they were free.
But I had no idea what I was getting myself into. It turns out that a man wearing pink crocs transforms himself into a kind of cultural touchstone, a walking sociological laboratory for the study of gender politics and iconography. No one was neutral about my footwear that summer. Everyone weighed in: women for the most part thought they were sexy. I was ‘secure enough in my sexuality” to flaunt such a provocative wardrobe item. I had clearly “embraced” my “feminine side” and showed a refreshing indifference to ridicule. In fact, there was quite a bit of ridicule. Friends remarked lightly “You know how gay you look, right?” ; troglodytes jeered “Faggot!” at me as I walked past.
This instinctive twitch of homophobia, this tourrettes syndrome shout-out of socially approved bigotry reared up everywhere, like ant hills on a suburban lawn. A tenured professor at a major University accosted me one morning and said “Cute crocs,” in a cringe-worthy “gay” voice. “Oh yeah,” I said, deflecting the obvious intent of the remark, “They’re chick magnets. Women love them.”
“Boys, too, I bet,” he said with a little smirk.
I guess he’d figured out my dirty little secret. Good thing I’m not his teaching assistant.
The whole business is especially strange because I live on Nantucket where localized fashion embraces wearing pink pants – or ‘Nantucket Reds,” as they’re called. The pants, dyed red at the factory, soon fade to a color not unlike the tint of my crocs. This coincidence counts for nothing. Pink means gay. The blush brands anyone who wears it, and the disruptive controversy follows you like a poodle on a leash. I suppose if you actually were gay it would be a convenient marker, like the little pink triangles some lesbians sport on their pick-up trucks. So maybe people are just annoyed when you send out a confusing signal. And I soon realized that there’s no social stigma about gay-bashing; it’s a safe way to vent hostility and feel superior. A broad spectrum of society, from academics to day laborers, from Ecuadorian immigrants to New England matrons, from every race and religion, from every region and upbringing seem take gays as a suitable target. It’s politically correct; it’s Biblically approved. It’s fun for the whole family. Canny political operatives can leverage the specter of gay marriage to defeat an otherwise unassailable opponent. I knew intellectually that this prejudice was ubiquitous.
But I never felt it, until I wore the pink crocs. No gay man had ever said to me, “Walk a mile in my pink crocs … ” I did it, though, however inadvertently.
But now my situation is changing.
The first pair of crocs are wearing out. I’m going to have to buy new ones soon. Do I buy pink crocs and confirm my political position? Or do I buy ordinary grey ones and bow out? I decided to buy more pink crocs because I realized that I actually enjoy these new encounters. I relish the instant snap-shot I get when people respond in this visceral, unguarded way to the color of my sandals. It tells me more about them than they’d probably like me to know.
A tough-as-nails New York business woman can be startled into a moment of flirtation (“Now that’s a real man.”); the Professor with the AIDS ribbon on his car can turn out to be a creep.
And the tattooed carpenter in NY Giants sweatshirt can glance down with an admiring grin and say “Bold move, dude.”
The world is full of surprises when you wear pink crocs.
And that’s the best reason I can think of to keep on wearing them."

those shoes a re fucking queer and you know it.

comment #7

The Winchester says ...

http://www.thebestpageintheuniverse.net/c.cgi?u=fashion

It seems Maddox would also agree.

comment #8

C-PhreekII says ...

Fight those strange thoughts sweet_billy, keep yelling out those pleas for help...

Sax - kudos, keep on truckin', brother. I smell a doc here.

comment #9

televisiontears says ...

Don't be sorry, Wells. Crocs are an ugly stain on the dignity of our culture. If you're a fan of gardening, or lawn work in general, then fine. But once someone decides "hey, these are nice enough to wear these in public", all self-respect and regard for the emotional well-being of other individuals that they once claimed they had is drowned in a sea of pity, sorrow, and misery.

I normally don't give a shit what people wear - it *generally* holds no example of what a person is. But this "trend" has crossed the line of good taste. It seems that if someone declared that it was okay to wear nothing but a rubber body suit with a bid, that rubber and bib stock would inflate to the point where it would destroy our economy.

I once had a friend of a friend stay in my house for a few days. He was visiting in the area, and I was dreading the possibility of "showing him around". One night, I decided that we should have reservations at a semi-upscale establishment. We'd been to a few dive bars (which I assumed was more his scene), and thought it would be nice to show him a different side of the city It was a place I enjoy, as it boasts phenomenal, unique dishes, and has a plethora of classy ladies.

I met him at the place after work, and was horrified to see he was wearing fucking crocs. Needless, to say, said ladies were doing a bit less than crawling all over us.

Seriously, who wears fucking crocs in public? Who are these people?

comment #10

televisiontears says ...

I meant "bib", of course.

comment #11

Rod32303 says ...

Hatin' Bitches.

This black man wore black crocs for the entire month of June...all over Europe. If you are a big boy like me (and I will fuck a motherfucker UP who would insinuate that I ain't a real man for wearin' em), the support you get is better than any New Balance I've ever worn. Plus, it's fuckin hot as hell in Europe - Paris was BURNING, and Rome? Forget it. I live in Florida, and the bitching about the weather - go to Rome or Sorrento (paradise, actually) and then you'll feel real heat. The crocs were essential.

comment #12

berkguru says ...

Agree - anyone wearing these in public gets immediate idiot status

we wont have to worry much longer though

CROX stock price in November 2007 - $75
CROX stock price today - $4
Cost of another stupid dying fad - priceless

comment #13

bmcintire says ...

Sax - that's an interesting story, but pretty much any shoe in pink (or especially HOT pink) would have gotten you the same bigoted cat-calls. The fact that they were pink Crocs just makes them hideous - and unacceptable in public.

I'm just glad that the as-hideous fucking Ugg Boots haven't crossed the gender line and are still only a plague on idiotic women.

http://zeta.zappos.com/search/brand/288/filter/hide:categoryFacet/%22Boots%22/hide:gender/%22mens%22

Wait. They have? Please God, why?

comment #14

D.Z. says ...

I'm really late on this, but Earnest Borgnine is at the Border's on Third and La Cienega today.

comment #15

televisiontears says ...

Rod32303,
No one's saying you're not a real man. We're just saying that you have a problem with function over form. Sometimes the latter trumps the former.

This will someday, at best, be reduced to a fifteen second snippet on VH1's "Remember the '00s?"

comment #16

berkguru says ...

DZ yet another pointless post unrelated to the topic at hand. Get your own blog so you can talk to yourself there.

comment #17

Michael says ...

If you want to say Tim Tebow ain't a real man, go ahead...lot of SEC dudes would disagree, though.

comment #18

iamjoe says ...

You hit the nail on the head with that one. No real man DOES wear a pair of these plastic abortions.

Picture Frank Sinatra punching out a Las Vegas Crocs wearing tourist, and throwing him out the door of The Sands. All while yelling "Hit the streets,Crayola shoe."

comment #19

Richardson says ...

The thing I always liked about the crocs fad was that it was interesting to see something catch on that strongly despite being so hideously ugly. It seemed like a huge leap forward to me for large numbers of people to be buying and making shoes that looked that terrible, just because they were better (at least in the sense that they're more comfortable). A fad that nobody thinks looks good that manages to still catch on is a pretty strange thing. I thought it could even be a sign that people were getting less superficial...

comment #20

almostcool says ...

I always wear Crocs with my Zubaz jumpsuit in the same colors as my favorite sports team.

comment #21

cobhome says ...

I love my birkenstocks!

comment #22

KC says ...

Yeah, I just wanna punch the shit out of every faggoty motherfucker I see walking around in those things. The sort of footwear favored by dumb-assed, fat Walmart employee, hateful low-caste red-state homophobes, eh

comment #23

TheJeff says ...

I can't stand Crocs either, but I thought you were against the whole notion of "real men" when your railed against the "machismo" invoked when teasing you about your fondness for Miller Chill.

By the way:

plastic shoes = Miller Chill
Miller Chill = plastic shoes

comment #24

BurmaShave says ...

KC wins

comment #25

EDouglas says ...

Harlan Ellison is wearing them in that doc about him and he's a real man. I believe they're comfortable and ergonomic for walking/poster, etc which is why people like them.

comment #26

MDOC says ...

I first saw crocs a few years back on hospital workers. It makes sense because they can be easily cleaned.
Another interesting croc fact is that the NHL player Peter Forseberg has the exclusive rights to distribute Crocs in Sweden, he's made a fortune off them.

comment #27

Agent of NERD says ...

I think I heard somewhere that Devin Faraci loves them.

comment #28

T. S. Idiot says ...

Does Ernest Borgnine wear them? That would explain the Ethel Merman marriage.

comment #29

Brock Landers says ...

I've seen a picture of Jack Nicholson wearing Crocs. It made me so very sad.

My daughter loves them - but she's six, so she gets a pass. As for adult men wearing them...ugh.

They are the jelly shoes of 2008. Don't worry, Crocs likely won't make a comeback until the 00s nostalgia craze around, oh, 2027.

comment #30

johnc says ...

"Real men"?

Definition, please.

comment #31

nola says ...

rod you were in my neck of the woods? Yes Rome is hella hot.

I know chefs and hospital workers wear them.

I personally find them hideous on adults. I think they look cute on kids. Are people wearing them in nice restaurants? sigh.

I'm glad to see grown Italian men and women are not wearing them out to dinner, or to work etc. It's interesting the stock is down. These shoes are everywhere. I assumed the stock would be thru the roof.

comment #32

Joel says ...

Crocs are beyond ugly and no self-respecting person should wear them, pink or no pink.

comment #33

erniesouchak says ...

Crocs are ideal beach/swimming pool/shower shoes, and they're great to pack because they weigh NOTHING. Yes, people who spend long hours on their feet (chefs, nurses, etc.) swear by them, but I sort of wonder about the wisdom of wearing an unclosed shoe in a knife zone.

comment #34

Joel says ...

When did the flip flop become so hard to pack?

comment #35

George Prager says ...

Lee Marvin would never wear them.

And congratulations to "Sax" for the lamest comment in HE history.

comment #36

George Prager says ...

I can't resist pasting in this commentary I posted on Open Salon a few weeks ago:

I wear pink Ben Wa balls.
My son got them originally, as part of a publicity give-away at party early June three years ago. They were too big for him. He didn’t like the color. I tried them on, just for fun -- and scarcely wore any other balls until the next winter. The Ben Wa balls were supernaturally comfortable, easy to slip on and off (excellent for those early morning dog walks); best of all, they were free.
But I had no idea what I was getting myself into. It turns out that a man wearing pink Ben Wa balls transforms himself into a kind of cultural touchstone, a walking sociological laboratory for the study of gender politics and iconography. No one was neutral about my asswear that summer. Everyone weighed in: women for the most part thought they were sexy. I was ‘secure enough in my sexuality” to flaunt such a provocative wardrobe item. I had clearly “embraced” my “feminine side” and showed a refreshing indifference to ridicule. In fact, there was quite a bit of ridicule. Friends remarked lightly “You know how gay you look, right?” ; troglodytes jeered “Faggot!” at me as I walked past.
This instinctive twitch of homophobia, this tourrettes syndrome shout-out of socially approved bigotry reared up everywhere, like ant hills on a suburban lawn. A tenured professor at a major University accosted me one morning and said “Cute Ben Wa balls,” in a cringe-worthy “gay” voice. “Oh yeah,” I said, deflecting the obvious intent of the remark, “They’re chick magnets. Women love them.”
“Boys, too, I bet,” he said with a little smirk.
I guess he’d figured out my dirty little secret. Good thing I’m not his teaching assistant.
The whole business is especially strange because I live on Nantucket where localized fashion embraces wearing pink pants – or ‘Nantucket Reds,” as they’re called. The pants, dyed red at the factory, soon fade to a color not unlike the tint of my Ben Wa balls. This coincidence counts for nothing. Pink means gay. The blush brands anyone who wears it, and the disruptive controversy follows you like a poodle on a leash. I suppose if you actually were gay it would be a convenient marker, like the little pink triangles some lesbians sport on their pick-up trucks. So maybe people are just annoyed when you send out a confusing signal. And I soon realized that there’s no social stigma about gay-bashing; it’s a safe way to vent hostility and feel superior. A broad spectrum of society, from academics to day laborers, from Ecuadorian immigrants to New England matrons, from every race and religion, from every region and upbringing seem take gays as a suitable target. It’s politically correct; it’s Biblically approved. It’s fun for the whole family. Canny political operatives can leverage the specter of gay marriage to defeat an otherwise unassailable opponent. I knew intellectually that this prejudice was ubiquitous.
But I never felt it, until I wore the pink Ben Wa balls. No gay man had ever said to me, “Walk a mile in my pink Ben Wa balls … ” I did it, though, however inadvertently.
But now my situation is changing.
The first pair of Ben Wa balls are wearing out. I’m going to have to buy new ones soon. Do I buy pink Ben Wa balls and confirm my political position? Or do I buy ordinary grey ones and bow out? I decided to buy more pink Ben Wa balls because I realized that I actually enjoy these new encounters. I relish the instant snap-shot I get when people respond in this visceral, unguarded way to the color of my balls. It tells me more about them than they’d probably like me to know.
A tough-as-nails New York business woman can be startled into a moment of flirtation (“Now that’s a real man.”); the Professor with the AIDS ribbon on his car can turn out to be a creep.
And the tattooed carpenter in NY Giants sweatshirt can glance down with an admiring grin and say “Bold move, dude.”
The world is full of surprises when you wear pink Ben Wa balls.
And that’s the best reason I can think of to keep on wearing them.

comment #37

Rob says ...

Please, the only men that wear Crocs are straight suburban dads, often with NASCAR T-shirts tucked into their denim cutoffs.

No gay guy I know would be caught dead in a pair, unless Paul Smith designed them.

comment #38

Clark Perry says ...

I've seen Bruce Vilanch and Andy Dick wearing Crocs around town. So your belief that no real man would be seen in these shoes holds very true.

comment #39

Jean says ...

Late to post, but: here in Chicago I have seen them worn by hospital staff & beach goer's. At Bonnaroo 2007 they were everywhere but given the crowd that was to be expected; it was also hella hot then too. I've never seen men or boys wear pink ones - just the dark green ones w/ the orange strap. I don't think I'll ever sport them, though...

comment #40

MoroccoMole says ...

I'm no fan of Crocs, but I, too, would like to know what the definition of "real men" is.

comment #41

Legowombat says ...

I, too, would like to know what the definition of "real men" is.

Ask Joe Jackson.

bmcintire:

I'm just glad that the as-hideous fucking Ugg Boots haven't crossed the gender line and are still only a plague on idiotic women.

Down here in Australia, both men and women have worn these things since before I was born. The thing I don't understand is they've always been considered Bogan (read: White Trash) wear - shoes for lower-class dole bludgers (read: unemployed on benefits). You wear them with your mullets, track suit pants and flannel shirts as you work on your car, which is up on blocks in your unmowed front yar.

They're pretty much considered *the* trashiest, slovenly thing either a man or woman can wear. I remember seeing a video in school about job interviews - one of those "Don't Be Like Mr Don't!" deals - and when asked to identify what the guy did wrong, my classmates failed to notice he put his feet up on the desk, or tried to borrow money from his interviewer - they instead singled out the fact that he went to a job interview in Ugg Boots.

How they became a symbol of 'model cool' over in America is beyond me. Must have been one hell of a PR Job.

comment #42

Sean E says ...

"'Real men'

Definition, please."

Guys who work with their hands. Guys who hunt and fish and do their own renovations and can grill a steak any damn way you like it, as long as it's rare. Guys who could kick your ass for laughing at their footwear, and you both know it, but won't 'cuz you're not worth it. You know - men.

And yeah, those things are hideous.

comment #43

bb says ...

I don't wear crocs but know a lot of guys that do and if you decided you needed to point out their lack of manliness, knowing these guys, you'd end up wearing them.

Well at least one.

On the inside.

comment #44

Bocephus says ...

"'Real men'

Definition, please."

6 inches or longer.

I always saw them as good beachwear for people like me whose feet are too horrifying to wear sandals. But I would never personally wear something so ugly and cheap.

I couldn't imagine wearing these in a kitchen. I don't want to be wearing crocs when I accidentally drop a knife or heavy cast-iron skillet on my foot.

Rubber-soled, steel-tip boots for me, please.

comment #45

Bocephus says ...

Also...

Crocs are dangerous. My friend lost a toe when she tripped and it got caught in one of the holes.

The only foot fashion I hate worse is the wheeled shoes that kids wear. Every time I see one of those little shits rolling past at the grocery store, I wish with all my heart for them to fall and bust their ass (which happens quite often).

comment #46

shaomiaoshelley says ...

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comment #47

Computer to Ipod Transfer says ...

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