edited by Jonathan Doyle

Cloverfield [BLU-RAY] (Paramount Home Entertainment, 6.3.2008) Disguised under deliberately goofy, yet deliciously edible-sounding, aliases such as Cheese and Slusho, Matt Reeves' Cloverfield was produced and rushed into theaters under an equally appetizing shroud of secrecy. From last year's incredibly elusive Super Bowl ad to the film's viral marketing campaign, Cloverfield had everybody scratching their heads and drooling in anticipation. Aside from the as-yet untitled title and the Blair Witch-ian visual style, the film's biggest appeal was the enigmatic creature who was last (un)seen hurling the decapitated head of the Statue of Liberty onto the crowded streets of New York City. All we knew about the mysterious beast was that it was big and angry. Now that the highy-anticipated project has come and gone, one question has fortunately been answered: Cloverfield was a major success. (continued)

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Pork-Pie Mustang

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Certainly the most beautiful '65 or '66 Mustang (I'm not enough of a car buff to know the difference) that just happened to be parked in front of my home that I've ever seen in my life. Gun-metal gray, 289 cc engine, buffed and polished to a fare-thee-well, polished-oak steering wheel, factory-new black-leather seats.

Late this morning I asked a guy at a men's clothing store store on Santa Monica Blvd. when the sales of pork-pie hats had taken off big-time, and he said "this year." Boomers aren't allowed to wear pork-pie hats -- they're strictly for GenXers (born from '64 to '80) and GenYers ('80 to mid '90s), and certainly no one older than than middle-aged GenXers like Brad Pitt, who will be 45 this December. For three or four seconds I thought to myself, "Hey, maybe I should wear one of these dorky-looking ass hats?"

Big Mouth<< previous | next >>Boom, Fart, Whee! and Splat

Posted by Jeffrey Wells on July 7, 2008 at 5:53 PM

comment #1

Josh Massey says ...

I disagree. Douchebags of all ages can wear pork-pie hats.

Beautiful car. I love my '05 Mustang, but it just doesn't compare.

Posted by Josh Massey at July 7, 2008 6:30 PM

comment #2

cjKennedy says ...

Is it wrong of me to want to kick people when I see them wearing pork-pie hats?

No one who isn't named Popeye Doyle should be allowed to wear them.

Posted by cjKennedy at July 7, 2008 6:31 PM

comment #3

Edward says ...

I see what looks like a pith helmet at the far end of the table. Do people actually wear those?

Posted by Edward at July 7, 2008 6:41 PM

comment #4

The Bandsaw Vigilante says ...

Dennis "Slutbanger" Duffy brought the porkpie back.

"That was a big, silly misunderstanding...like the Giuliani campaign."

Posted by The Bandsaw Vigilante at July 7, 2008 6:46 PM

comment #5

supertaster says ...

That Mustang is a beaut ... what do you think it gets, 7-8 dead polar bears per gallon?

That car is buffed and polished in an obvious attempt to sell. Continue to ratchet up the pain for those classic car drivers who live in the exurbs and think there's a constitutional right to cheap gas. Hopefully, they can pry off their Nixon '68 stickers before they get to the Kia dealership for a trade-in.

...I'll say it for you:

Wells to supertaster: Very astute, very well-written, right on the money. Pork-pie hat off.

Posted by supertaster at July 7, 2008 7:13 PM

comment #6

Mgmax says ...

Porkpie hats are back because all the kids are so into nostalgia for the 80s as lived by John Lurie.

I would walk six days a week, under the iron rule of Al Gore, to drive a car like that once a week.

When I was a kid, my dad had a Lincoln Continental. Which had a block of concrete in between the engine and the passenger compartment, to protect you in the case of a collision. I think it got about 5 mpg, honest to God. A modern SUV that gets 12 is practically a perpetual motion machine by comparison.

Posted by Mgmax at July 7, 2008 7:47 PM

comment #7

bmcintire says ...

I'm seeing maybe one hat that would qualify as pork-pie on that table. Three or four of them, however, look like they were plucked from the heads of gay cruise-ship entertainers back when The Carol Burnett Show was still on the air.
My advice: never step foot in that store again.

Posted by bmcintire at July 7, 2008 8:03 PM

comment #8

Rothchild says ...

Anything's better than a cowboy hat. If you're not a cowboy and you're wearing a cowboy hat, you're an asshole.

Posted by Rothchild at July 7, 2008 8:10 PM

comment #9

MickTravis says ...

One should buy a hat like that only if they're hungry for the bowl of soup that comes with it.

Or if they're Corey Feldman.

Or nostalgic for the swing revival of 1996.

Or want to make strangers fantasize about the sight of you falling down marble stairs.

Nice car, though.

Posted by MickTravis at July 7, 2008 8:14 PM

comment #10

Edward says ...

What is it with cowboy wannabees? My sister's nephew thinks he's a cowboy. Sure he lives in a rural western town, but he works in a landfill. He dresses the part and bought a Ford F-350, even though he doesn't need it to haul anything. It's what he thinks a cowboy would drive.

Posted by Edward at July 7, 2008 8:39 PM

comment #11

gruver1 says ...

Wells to Rothchild: Each and every Sundance Film Festival I wear a cowboy hat, and it's fine in that environment and that once-a-year vibe. I walk around and imagine at times that I'm Dennis Hopper in "The American Friend."

Posted by gruver1 at July 7, 2008 8:47 PM

comment #12

Mgmax says ...

Edward-- He does blue collar work in a rural western town. What do you think a cowboy was?

Posted by Mgmax at July 7, 2008 9:03 PM

comment #13

D.Z. says ...

http://www.themoviebox.net/movies/2008/STUVWXYZ/What-Just-Happened/trailer.php

Posted by D.Z. at July 7, 2008 9:20 PM

comment #14

Edward says ...

He ain't a cowboy, he's a cowboy poser, trust me.

Posted by Edward at July 7, 2008 9:56 PM

comment #15

RDP says ...

If that is a 65 or 66 Mustang, then the grill is incorrect.

Are you sure it's not a '68 coupe?

Posted by RDP at July 7, 2008 10:53 PM

comment #16

Legowombat says ...

This is why i hate forced 'cool' - who wants to look like the Fat Dork from Smash Mouth?

Posted by Legowombat at July 7, 2008 11:35 PM

comment #17

BurmaShave says ...

Yes as opposed to the natural cool of referencing a band whose last hit was in '99.

Posted by BurmaShave at July 8, 2008 1:49 AM

comment #18

frankbooth says ...

Get the lime green one. I dare you.

So you walk around imagining you're a Dennis Hopper character? Weirdo!

Posted by frankbooth at July 8, 2008 2:03 AM

comment #19

GLee2112 says ...

those hats manage to make anybody look like an idiot. good to know everyone on here hates them as well.

Posted by GLee2112 at July 8, 2008 6:02 AM

comment #20

Admiral82 says ...

I went to see Tom Waits perform on the 26th of last month. Pork-pie hats were there in excess with the hipsters.

I wanted to berate the first person I saw wearing one. Then, as I approached the venue I realized I need not waste my vocal cords. I was the minority...

Posted by Admiral82 at July 8, 2008 6:15 AM

comment #21

cjKennedy says ...

The only person at a Tom Waits concert who would not look like an asshole wearing a pork-pie hat is Tom Waits. He could wear a beanie with a propeller and it would be cool.

Posted by cjKennedy at July 8, 2008 8:08 AM

comment #22

Bocephus says ...

When I wear my straw cowboy hat, more men than usual want to have sex with me. I call it the McConaughey gay cowboy bump.

I hate it personally, but if it works...

Posted by Bocephus at July 8, 2008 9:16 AM

comment #23

Admiral82 says ...

cjKennedy:
Seriously, Tom has been sporting that hat since his inception.

Posted by Admiral82 at July 8, 2008 10:00 AM

comment #24

Rich S. says ...

The Blues Brothers also wore pork-pie hats, precisely because they were a remnant of another era.

Posted by Rich S. at July 8, 2008 10:34 AM

comment #25

Edward says ...

Now I'm beginning to wonder if wearing my baseball style cap is part of being like everyone else. Of course I need a hat in sunny weather, because of my genetically induced follicle imparement.

Posted by Edward at July 8, 2008 1:04 PM

comment #26

tmurry says ...

Definitely a 1967 or 1968, almost definitely a 1968 (I say almost because, while the body style is def. a 67-68, it's only realy the side vent molding/chrome in the picture that pegs it as a 68, and people notoriously would switch external parts. I can't see the rear quarterpanels, but if those had rectangular orange running lights, then 1968 is confirmed.

Posted by tmurry at July 8, 2008 3:39 PM

comment #27