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Howard Deutch is by all accounts a very bright, likable and dependable fellow. But the words "directed by" above his name on a movie poster is not a good thing for people like myself. It's an assurance, I've learned over the years, of a kind of middlebrow hacksmanship that always results in a feeling of being faintly drugged while watching one of his films. It also tends to lead to leaning forward in your seat, to placing your head in your hands and spreading your fingers apart and over your eyes, and to mild groaning and bathroom breaks.
On top of which I've had nothing but bad or underwhelming times with Dane Cook -- the man is an animal, a three-toed sloth -- and Kate Hudson has proven beyond a doubt that she has no taste in movies whatsover, Almost Famous being her one lucky fluke. I liked Jason Biggs in Woody Allen's Anything Else so I'd rather not bash at this point in time.
But of course, My Best Friend's Girl (Lionsgate, 9.19) is aimed at the under-30 girlies who know zip about movies, who have nothing in the way of cultivated taste about anything except what kind of makeup to use, who don't read reviews or online columns like this one, and who shriek and convulse with laughter when they get together in groups of three or four at Starbucks or Coffee Bean or Seattle's Best.
Posted by Jeffrey Wells on August 11, 2008 at 11:04 AM
comment #1
dangovich says ...
Notwithstanding the Deutch factor, that movie poster pretty much screams, "stay away!"
Posted by dangovich at August 11, 2008 11:35 AM
comment #2
BurmaShave says ...
One of my biggest pet peeves in movie posterdom. Look at the site lines of the three heads and tell me what the hell they're looking at. It's like Hudson is oblivious to an on-coming train, Dane Cook sees it and welcomes it, and Jason Biggs is probably just grateful to still be on a movie poster.
Sad to see that Alec Baldwin is in this.
Posted by BurmaShave at August 11, 2008 11:38 AM
comment #3
LYT says ...
Yeah, looking at that poster, I know the movie's gonna suck without even reading the director's name. It stars Dane Cook -- and not just Dane Cook, but a cleaned-up looking Dane Cook, which is the worst possible form he can take [think Dan In Real Life] -- and is named after an '80s song.
Only funny Dane Cook role onscreen -- the cook in "Waiting..."
Posted by LYT at August 11, 2008 11:39 AM
comment #4
BurmaShave says ...
Also that's one of the worst shoulder to shoulder photoshops I've ever seen. Hudson's arm looks like a baguette between them.
Posted by BurmaShave at August 11, 2008 11:42 AM
comment #5
corey3rd says ...
looks like it's a bi-sexual romantic comedy. Biggs wants Dane Cook, but Dane is going for Kate since she's got an equally flat chest without the scruffy cheeks
Posted by corey3rd at August 11, 2008 11:45 AM
comment #6
moviemaniac2002 says ...
I hope Cook is saving his money, 'cause it's a
Pauly Shore career he's having. Within a year or
so, everyone (audiences, directors, studio heads)
will wonder out loud....how did this idiot ever get into movies and why did anyone ever hire him?
When he finally shambles off to the actors
Elephant's Graveyard...he can always make
direct-to-DVD rom-coms with some of his
female counterparts...Penelope Ann Miller, Monica Potter, etc, etc...
Posted by moviemaniac2002 at August 11, 2008 11:45 AM
comment #7
Rob says ...
This looks like one of those fake movies that would be playing at the Aztec Theatre on The Simpsons, like Julia Roberts in "Love is Nice" or Olympia Dukakis and Bo Derek in "Too Many Grandmas."
In the past year, I had the strange experience of seeing Kate Hudson shoot back-to-back romantic comedies right outside my office here in Boston - first this and then the equally generic-sounding Bride Wars. Do you think she even reads these scripts?
Posted by Rob at August 11, 2008 11:49 AM
comment #8
rr3333 says ...
I will be camping out for this one.
Thank you Howard TheDuck, I mean Deutsch!
Posted by rr3333 at August 11, 2008 11:53 AM
comment #9
MilkMan says ...
I'm in a black mood this morning and having to look at Dane Cook's face isn't making it any lighter.
Did Dane Cook have his pock marks removed? Is that even possible? Does Robert Davi know about this?
Just in case anybody was curious: Jenny Hendrix tied Mindy Main for the best ass in porn, a poll I voted for three different times from three different computers (I feel like I have more invested in who has the best ass in porn than just about anything else. And you want someone like me to vote for President?) What a sham. I have the feeling that the owner of the site where the poll was posted rigged the results in favor of having a tie, because Mindy Main is old and gross. Maybe Mindy Main is his wife.
I don't like Kate Hudson because she doesn't seem like the type of girl who ever listens to Love and Rockets. I bet she's a big Dave Matthews fan.
Howard Deutch was banging Leah Thompson during the making of Some Kind of Wonderful. I thought Leah Thompson was hot exactly one time, during Howard the Duck, the scene where she's crawling on the bed in her underwear.
Too bad Ralph Bakshi didn't direct Howard the Duck. I watched Heavy Traffic yesterday afternoon and I think it's safe to say that Ralph Bakshi is a great American, a psychadelic Celine.
The Raspberries sound like they should've been signed by Swan Records.
I need some cruising music to make everything all right.
Kaiya is wearing platform wedge heels and a suede miniskirt today. She went to Hawaii with her boyfriend last week.
Maybe I should keep a diary.
My life is half way through and I still haven't done what I'm supposed to do.
If I went on diet, lost thirty pounds, got a new wardrobe, and an expensive haircut, I still wouldn't be as good looking as Jason Biggs, which is why I can't stand looking at him.
Posted by MilkMan at August 11, 2008 11:58 AM
comment #10
Balthazar says ...
MilkMan's post -- and nothing more -- would make a better movie than 80 percent of the dreck released these days. It's got everything!
Posted by Balthazar at August 11, 2008 12:02 PM
comment #11
JD says ...
Calling Deutsch's films "middlebrow" is a compliment. He's one of the most unapologetically low brow filmmakers there is. And yes, Dane Cook is pretty hard-to-take, but his contribution to Dan in Real Life worked because he was basically playing the annoying guy we all think that he is... and the movie had fun playing with his douchebag persona.
Posted by JD at August 11, 2008 12:03 PM
comment #12
Aladdin Sane says ...
Why even post this poster? My life was so much better ten minutes before I clicked onto this post.
Posted by Aladdin Sane at August 11, 2008 12:12 PM
comment #13
deadre says ...
Is Howard Deutsch (knew him as Howie when he used to cut trailers) really lowbrow? I think I'd call him no-brow. He has no specific talent except he can get a movie going every 5 years or so, has no specific talent and who cares. He used to be such a cute guy, neurotic as hell, but I never saw him with the artistic drive of a director. I think it's a fluke that remains a fluke.
And this just reeks of........nothing.......
Posted by deadre at August 11, 2008 12:16 PM
comment #14
LexG says ...
DANE COOK OWNS YOUR ASS.
That dude is like my IDOL. FUNNY AS HELL, and gets to make movies with prime Hollywood Hotness like Simpson and Alba.
Cook-hating is so tired anyway. Get on the train, the man is a COMIC LEGEND!
Posted by LexG at August 11, 2008 12:16 PM
comment #15
BurmaShave says ...
"Did Dane Cook have his pock marks removed? Is that even possible? Does Robert Davi know about this?"
I just laughed for 4 minutes. Joke + Robert Davi= perfection. Twenty, twenty-five percent of the hostages.
Posted by BurmaShave at August 11, 2008 12:24 PM
comment #16
Josh Massey says ...
I can live with that.
Posted by Josh Massey at August 11, 2008 12:36 PM
comment #17
chicbn872 says ...
Dane Cook is a putz of the highest order. What's up with his Maverick from "Top Gun" hair cut here? God...what a douchebag. He was almost average in "Dan In Real Life". Almost.
It's good to see that Jeff & I both hate groups of four or more females. My fiance is an intelligent lady & she becomes brain-dead when around three or more of her friends...it never fails.
Posted by chicbn872 at August 11, 2008 12:36 PM
comment #18
thevisceral says ...
Dane Cook needs to ride a Greyhound through Canada...
Posted by thevisceral at August 11, 2008 12:36 PM
comment #19
btwnproductions says ...
Deutch's IMDb entry mentions that he's directed (lame) sequels to three pictures, but not the originals. Which sort of says something right there. It's been downhill since Molly Ringwald and the soundtrack to PRETTY IN PINK.
He and Thompson have been married for 20 years.
Posted by btwnproductions at August 11, 2008 12:57 PM
comment #20
Terry McCarty says ...
I'd say that the picks of the Deutch cinematic litter are SOME KIND OF WONDERFUL and ARTICLE 99.
Posted by Terry McCarty at August 11, 2008 1:03 PM
comment #21
Mr. Buckles says ...
Milkman,
I must serve thee. If Leah Thompson does nothing to jingle ye jangles in All the Right Moves, then you are too deep in the depths that I fear you will soon mutter "long live the new flesh."
In general, I have your back on her limited appeal; there has always been something tomboy-ish about her sex appeal.
However, in ATRM, she is as young and fresh as you are going to get her (around the same time as Daryl Hannah in Reckless- WAY better). Perhaps there is a body double in the pivotal "first time" scene as I can't recall the choreography. It doesn't matter b/c I am channeling my innter teenager from that time and I would never dare to think Hollywood would pull such a stunt.
Posted by Mr. Buckles at August 11, 2008 1:06 PM
comment #22
MilkMan says ...
You're absolutely right, Buckles. She does look her best in All the Right Moves, although if I was forced to choose one Troubled Teens in Pittsburgh film, it would have to be Reckless, which also features it's leading man's nutsack in a prominent role, and not because of Darryl Hannah, who has the body of a water polo player, but because of it's latent patricidal subtext. Or maybe it wasn't subtext. Maybe it was just text. I don't know. All I know is that in a fight between the 1983 versions of Aidan Quinn and The Cruiser, I'm taking Quinn by TKO.
Posted by MilkMan at August 11, 2008 1:17 PM
comment #23
dinovelvet says ...
The real question is, how can any movie screen possibly hold the combined talent of Dane Cook and Jason Biggs without exploding? Not since Deniro and Pacino worked together in Heat has there been such awesomeness!
Having said that, I thought Cook was alright in Mr.Brooks.
Posted by dinovelvet at August 11, 2008 1:19 PM
comment #24
William Goss says ...
"Having said that, I thought Cook was alright in Mr.Brooks."
...in that shovel-to-the-neck kind of way.
Posted by William Goss at August 11, 2008 1:24 PM
comment #25
Rich S. says ...
If nothing else, you have to admire Kate Hudson for adding the "Dane Cook Degree of Difficulty" to her comeback attempt. It's defeated greater talents than hers (see: Costner, Kevin).
Posted by Rich S. at August 11, 2008 1:28 PM
comment #26
chappiesan says ...
Has there been a pornstar that did less-with-more than Mindy Main? There are bitches, and then there's Mindys. She could be the Buddy Hackett of the porn industry if she found a director that knew what to do with her.
Posted by chappiesan at August 11, 2008 1:43 PM
comment #27
robbiefantastic says ...
milkman, the love and rockets reference was fucking awesome! i'm still giggling....
Posted by robbiefantastic at August 11, 2008 1:44 PM
comment #28
KC says ...
Did you have to jerk off after finishing that last paragraph
Posted by KC at August 11, 2008 1:51 PM
comment #29
Rothchild says ...
This poster confuses me.
This is the first Dane Cook movie where he plays Dane Cook. He plays a loud mouthed sexist asshole named Tank. The premise is that he's such a self-absorbed dick that his friends pay him to go out with girls after they're dumped so they feel like they made a mistake.
He'll take them to strip clubs, fart, call them fat etc. etc. It all goes wrong when Jason Biggs has him do the same thing with Kate Hudson. She left Biggs because he was a huge pussy, and she ends up loving Dane Cook's character. This is a movie where Kate Hudson realizes she's really into sexist alpha males that fart and treat her like shit.
Cook never becomes a better guy or learns a lesson over the course of the movie and Lizzy Caplin plays a girl that masturbates a lot. I guess what I'm saying is this, what the fuck is that poster? The ad campaign and that poster make it look like Lions Gate marketing just read the genre (romantic/comedy) and saw Kate Hudson was in it and used the standard bland romantic/comedy post template.
The movie won't have a clever bone in its body, but it's a funny but dumbass comedy for dumbass fratboys and they're selling it to women. I can see how they need both, but what guy would see a movie with that poster? Ever?
My vote for worst sequel of all time is The Whole Ten Yards.
Posted by Rothchild at August 11, 2008 2:30 PM
comment #30
Strangeways says ...
I'm no fan of Kate Hudson's but how the hell does that no hit/no talent hack Dane Cook get billing over her? She's had some hits and always plays lead roles now. He's had NO hits and is usually part of the ensemble.
She needs to get a new agent.
He just needs to go away.
Posted by Strangeways at August 11, 2008 2:40 PM
comment #31
dangovich says ...
If only the movie could be as funny as this thread.
Posted by dangovich at August 11, 2008 2:44 PM
comment #32
Rothchild says ...
Seriously, watch this trailer:
http://www.mybestfriendsgirlmovie.com/aol/redband.html
Then look at the poster.
The trailer does have one really great line from Baldwin at the end.
Posted by Rothchild at August 11, 2008 2:49 PM
comment #33
Doug says ...
I love Kate Hudson but I have no idea what she's doing in this.
Next year looks better for her with "Bride Wars" co-starring Anne Hathaway and "Nine."
Posted by Doug at August 11, 2008 2:56 PM
comment #34
Movie Watcher says ...
How does Kate Hudson continue to be in movies at all? Is there a shortage of non-talented blondes in hollywood? I can't imagine anyone seeing this sad attempt of a movie.
Milkman, why the hate for DMB?
Alec Baldwin must need the cash.
Posted by Movie Watcher at August 11, 2008 3:00 PM
comment #35
BurmaShave says ...
God help me that movie doesn't look terrible. Very average obviously, but that trailer was tolerable.
Posted by BurmaShave at August 11, 2008 3:04 PM
comment #36
Rothchild says ...
Who's had a worse post Cameron Crowe career?
Gooding Jr. or Hudson?
And I'm sorry, Parker/Stone. Cuba Gooding Jr. is not "way better than Ben Affleck."
Posted by Rothchild at August 11, 2008 3:05 PM
comment #37
Rothchild says ...
The funny thing is the redband trailer is selling a completely different movie. The theatrical trailer is like that fake trailer for The Shining that was going around. It's "cute." I found that redband trailer on accident. I hope some prude couple goes to see the movie on a date and loses their shit.
Posted by Rothchild at August 11, 2008 3:07 PM
comment #38
Edward says ...
Crap, I'm in trouble. I chuckled throughout the red-band trailer. I think I'd rather see this w/ the wife then sisterhood of the pants 2 or God forbid Mama Mia!
Posted by Edward at August 11, 2008 4:37 PM
comment #39
ZayTonday says ...
Hey Dane Cook was pretty damn good in Mr. Brooks.
Posted by ZayTonday at August 11, 2008 9:30 PM
comment #40
saint.even says ...
another bad sign: title of movie named after a top 40 song title
Posted by saint.even at August 11, 2008 11:34 PM
comment #41
chappiesan says ...
This poster would be infinitely cooler if it had the vibe of The Cars' classic song instead of looking like the putrid afterbirth of the My Best Friend's Wedding photoshoot.
Posted by chappiesan at August 12, 2008 12:04 AM
comment #42
frankbooth says ...
"My life is half way through and I still haven't done what I'm supposed to do."
Aw, come on, Milkman. Cheer up. For all you know, it could be nine-tenths through.
Posted by frankbooth at August 12, 2008 12:57 AM
comment #43
Herry2008 says ...
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Posted by Herry2008 at August 12, 2008 2:20 AM
comment #44
dinovelvet says ...
Funnily enough, Cook just trashed the poster in his blog, his comments pretty much reflect everything that's been said here :
http://blog.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=blog.view&friendID=469452&blogID=423389935
Posted by dinovelvet at August 12, 2008 12:57 PM
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