comment #1

iamjoe says ...

Back off that no-talkin', food staring McDormand date, Jeff. He works at Lehman Brothers, and all his 401K was in their golden stock.
Coen Bros can tell the future.

comment #2

Jesse Perry says ...

I loved the computer screen shot listing that character's "turn-offs": "Politics, stand-up comedy, art"

comment #3

Kristopher Tapley says ...

Sometimes I wonder if you should just stay in the house. Or if everyone else should stay in if you're going out.

comment #4

Dan Revill says ...

I gotta agree with Jeff on this one. It's doltish to say the least for parents to be bringing young kids to a film like this - maybe they won't get what's going on, but this wasn't made for the whole family. If you have to see it opening weekend, get a babysitter.
I saw a few kids in the theater when I went, and of course they're telling their parents they didn't like it as everyone is leaving. They didn't get it. I honestly think it's a sign of bad parenting if you are taking kids under 14 or so to movies like this. Kids grow up fast enough as it is and my guess taking them to films like this isn't helping any.

comment #5

nakedmanatee says ...

Both examples illustrate a fundamental inability to empathize with other people outside of a personal bubble. The thing that kills me about parents who drag their kids to see movies that could only appeal to the parents is the utter lack of interest in picking a movie that might appeal to the entire family. (I know, there aren't a lot of them out there. You could all play a game. ) Taking a two year old kid to the latest Coen Bros isn't just annoying to everyone else in the theater, it's alternately boring/troubling for the kids. Dude, spring for a sitter. Really.

comment #6

btwnproductions says ...

This site goes off in many directions but I did not anticipate a turn into Miss Manners territory. I'll add that I ignore my wife at dinner, but my girlfriend gets my full attention.

comment #7

gruver1 says ...

Wells to Tapley: What exactly are you saying, Kris? That the person with a semblance of standards and decorum in society is the oddball and needs to restrict contact with the general populace? That my belief in (a) parents keeping their kids quiet or at least taking the little yappers out to the lobby during a film and (b) showing a semblance of considerate and gentlemanly behavior at the dinner table....these two beliefs/traits make me a problem?

I have a much better idea. Henceforth the low-lifes will stay home with their pets and their projection TVs and their Cadillac Escalades in the garage and people who at least try to be considerate and show manners will get to go out whenever they want and have a good time at the movies and at restaurants. How about them apples?

comment #8

Joshua Mooney says ...

Lumenick oughta take a page outta that kid's book.

comment #9

Wiggumx says ...

I'm with Jeff on this. No one should talk during the movie, ever, unless the theater is on fire or they're having a heart attack. About anything else can wait until after the movie. I didn't come to your living room to see the movie, so I shouldn't have to deal with your conversation.

comment #10

TheCahuengaKid says ...

Usually the Arclight is pretty good at keeping the audience quiet. Don't they have a house rule about kids under five years old or something. I am 100% with Jeff on this!

comment #11

Joel says ...

I saw Vicky Christina Barcelona on Saturday is posh Oak Park, IL. About 20 minutes in (during the hotel scene where Javier is trying to convince both the girls to go to bed with him), a woman in her late 30s got up and left with her daughter, who looked to be between 8 and 10.

Why the hell she brought the girl to a talky, R-Rated Woody Allen movie in the first place is beyond me. Even if you aren't bothered by the sexuality, how could a kid possibly grasp that movie, let alone not be horrifically bored by it?

comment #12

Rev. Slappy says ...

I was a high school teacher for 10 years (our schools are even more fucked up than people realize) and this behavior Jeff describes in the norm these days. Parents today are complete idiots who seem to have no desire at all to raise the kids they've brought into the world -- apparently raising their kids was my job as a teacher. (To wit: a 2 year old in an R rated movie.) My theory is people today have become so narcissistic that having a child enables them to replicate themselves. Most parents want their children to be exactly like them and don't allow the kids to have their own identity or discover their own interests. When you correct the kid it offends the parent because to the parent the kid is a small version of them. It's a sad and pathetic site to behold. Sorry about ranting, but this topic is an exposed nerve to me.

comment #13

corey3rd says ...

$14? I want my own theater for that price. I don't want to see any people between me and the screen.

And small children should never be allowed in an adult film. I don't want to hear whining about "babysitters" and junk like that. Just wait 4 months and rent the DVD when your kid can run around the room, kick all the chairs and whine for the entire running time since I won't be there.

Plus having kids nearby cramps my date's ability to molest me. I didn't pay top dollar for that Joe Buck outfit to only wear it on Halloween.

comment #14

Deathtongue_Groupie says ...

Have to side with Jeff, you pay the extra freight at the Arclight so you don't have deal with all the usual mulitplex crap of kids, cellphones and talkers. Not that I put up with it at the local cinema either. Pacific Theaters is pretty good about having ushers check the auditoriums and dealing with issues.

comment #15

JHS says ...

Hat tip to Rev. Slappy.....nailed it.

comment #16

Monument says ...

I can only assume that the people criticizing Jeff don't have kids or are just hands off parents. It's amazing how often kids will do what they are told when the parents decide to actually parent their children. Discipline, boundaries, and the use of the word "no" are not bad things.

comment #17

Richardson says ...

"Wells to Tapley: What exactly are you saying, Kris?"

It seemed pretty obvious; his point is that you never comment on any regular person, any theatergoer or restaurant diner or voter, without denigrating them. It often comes off as if almost anything a person can do that strays at all from your personal, arbitrary lines annoys you in an Andy Rooney sort of way. It's funny to read, but it must be hell to live.

comment #18

longrunner says ...

nakedmanatee says...

Both examples illustrate a fundamental inability to empathize with other people outside of a personal bubble.

You could be talking about Wells, himself, here, you realize, right?

comment #19

Howlingman says ...

I don't have kids and I'm with Jeff on this one -- leave the little monsters at home. Period. And if you can't grasp that simple concept it's a pity because you were clearly too fucking stupid to have kids.

comment #20

storymark says ...

"It seemed pretty obvious; his point is that you never comment on any regular person, any theatergoer or restaurant diner or voter, without denigrating them. It often comes off as if almost anything a person can do that strays at all from your personal, arbitrary lines annoys you in an Andy Rooney sort of way. It's funny to read, but it must be hell to live."

Well, let's be fair to Jeff here. Yeah, he does post frequently about the annoying habits of certain people. That however doesn't mean those are the only people he interacts with. It'd be pretty dull if he were posting regularly about someone sitting quietly in a movie theatre, or not laughing in a sports bar.

comment #21

LOTGA says ...

I think all ratings systems should be the same as Atlantic Canada. Here we have 18A and R. 18A means no one under 14 is allowed in the theatre no exceptions and those people aged 14-17 must be accompanied by an adult. And R means no one under 18 at all. Cuts down on loud kids and stupid teenagers.

comment #22

dukedog says ...

As the parent of a 2 1/2 year old daughter, I have to agree with Mr. Wells on this one. Get a friggin sitter. People like that make considerate parents like me and good kids like my kid, look bad. I have taken my kiddo to three movies so far, and she has been great. We talked about what it means to go out to a movie (not talking, you get popcorn!). We went after the kid-appropriate movie had been out for a couple of weeks, went to an afternoon show and sat on the aisle in case of meltdown. She sat quietly through all three. She has developed a love of the movies, which I am thrilled about. She even told me after the movie once about one kid who was talking behind us, "She was not being polite Mommy." I gotta say AMEN to that!

comment #23

Richardson says ...

"That however doesn't mean those are the only people he interacts with."

I didn't say that it was. I said the only time he *comments* on people.

comment #24

Luke Y. Thompson says ...

At least the price point at the Arclight usually keeps out numbskull date-night teens, but I guess for teh really young 'uns $14 is still cheaper than a babysitter. I remember watching House of Wax in the Dome and a mom had brought her two small children.

comment #25

rr3333 says ...

People are cheap and insensitive. Seems like America to me.

comment #26

Rodrigo says ...

Children in attendance at R-rated movies are unacceptable. Aside from the simple matter of irresponsible parents selfishly lugging their toddlers to see something that's wildly inappropriate for little eyes and ears (that little girl may not know what "fuck" means, but its pervasive repetition in Dad's favorite movies will be putting an end to her ignorance of profanity soon enough), "Burn After Reading" is an intelligent adult film, made by intelligent adults for an audience of intelligent adults, among whom blabbering babies have no business shaking their rattles. Usually I encounter this utmost of pet peeves when seeing the kind of hard-R trash I should know better than to check out in the first place, which resonates as a bit more excusable given the low brow tendencies to disregard all varieties of manners ("Hello? Yeah, bro. You get my message? No, I'm in a movie. Naw, it's cool.") and the karmic punishment being served up by the cooing babies in the front row while their oblivious teenage parents soak up the garbage on screen with undivided attention. The kids making noise across the country this weekend during "My Best Friend's Girl," for example, are merely karmic pawns whose attendance is required so that the date-night mistake of that one couple in the audience whose reluctant selection of a poop-joke romance over, say, "Man on Wire," will remain painfully affixed to the Lessons Learned portion of their memories forever. If your beloved annual "Saw" experience is spoiled by the justifiable tantrum from the unfortunate spawn of whichever parents think it's normal, you deserve to be sabotaged and should thank the children profusely while exiting the theater. Pissed about the three-year-old antics distracting you from fully engaging in "Sex Drive"? Fuck you. But "Burn After Reading"? It's difficult to come to terms with the intelligent adults who support and perpetuate the production of sophisticated Hollywood entertainment also being remarkably clueless about simple moviegoing etiquette.

comment #27

storymark says ...

I didn't say that it was. I said the only time he *comments* on people.

That's pretty much my point. Why would he post comments about civil people? And would it be any fun to read about those interactions?

Everybody vents. Rarely do they vent about people who didn't bother them. This is where Jeff vents.

comment #28

Rev. Slappy says ...

Dukedog: not to sound patronizing, but I commend you for teaching your kid good manners and polite public behavior. Does anybody besides me see a connection between the decline in common courtesy and the rise of Sarah Palin?

comment #29

Kim Voynar says ...

I've got five kids, and the only one of them I'd take to Burn After Reading is my 22YO. My almost-12YO has seen a few R-rated flicks, but only ones I've seen first and trust she can handle. Then again, she's the kind of kid who digs foreigns and docs. But a 2YO doesn't belong at an R-rated flick, period. Get a sitter, save taking your kid to the movies for the next Disney flick.

And Rev: I hear you on public schools, they're a cesspool, and most of the problems with the kids there is directly related to shitty parenting. Which is partly why we homeschool our brood.

comment #30

dukedog says ...

I tend to blame all that's bad in the world on Palin at the moment. You weren't patronizing at all. I appreciate the nice comment.

comment #31

D.Z. says ...

"For the sheer pleasure and relaxation of it, I paid $14 bills last night to see Burn After Reading at the Arclight...And an hour or so later, right in the middle of the first delicious J.K. Simmons scene, a two year-old girl sitting in her dad's lap two seats to my left began talking and whining and squirming around. Kept it up, no ignoring it."

So much for those Arclight apologists who argue the higher ticket prices keep out the jerks...

Joel: VCB ain't R, though it pushes the PG-13 pretty hard, I hear.

comment #32

frankbooth says ...

Nice rant, Roderigo. Hat off.

I wouldn't mind a Canadian-style system which prohibited children under a certain age, period. But it would never fly here. Too much money to be made off people who can't afford -- or are too oblivious to think they need -- babysitters.

comment #33

huntermdaniels says ...

For what it's worth, I went to an opening day matinée of WALL-E with my girlfriend. We were the only people there without small children and the theater was perfectly silent. The kids laughed and what not, but no crying, no whining, no stupid crap. Same with the opening day showing of Dark Knight. The 8-year old in front of us was perfectly behaved.

Maybe parents are better in Santa Barbara though?

comment #34

monetnj says ...

Well as a parent of a young child, I would say it probably isn't very bright to take a 2 year old to see that kind of movie. However, perhaps the movie fell during the child's bedtime and the parents thought the talky nature of the show would soon put the child to sleep? They never intended the kid to actually watch? Not a justification, but babysitters are kind of pricey nowadays and it sounds like the kid presented a minimal distraction in the end.

comment #35

ketut says ...

I take umbrage at the phrase All public schools are cesspools. You have to be picky and find one that matches your child.

I have two kids 12 & 9, both went to the school down the street, but budget cuts made the school scratch the music component and hearing impaired component. It really went downhill fast after that.

We looked around and found a public Fine Arts school for my daughter and she has flourished. She is now around her peers and gets the attention she wasn't getting at the other school. The teacher had so many students that couldn't even grasp simple language and had to pull these kids along while the smarter kids suffered.

My son also goes to even another public school and it fits him to a tee. Yes, commuting sucks, but it's worth it for their education. Take resopnsibility and do your homework and you can find the gems.

comment #36

Wiggumx says ...

Wow, a few responsible parents post here. I thought those were extinct. All I ever seem to encounter are those with a huge sense of entitlement.

And any of the excuses:

"You don't have kids so you don't understand!"

"Babysitters are expensive!"

"It's not your place to tell me how to raise my child!"

"Don't you understand that children can't always be quiet! You should just deal with it!"

... and so on... you're just attempting to cover up your failings as a parent. It's all smoke and mirrors, and it's not working. We still see your precious hell-spawn running up and down the aisles of the movie theater (or the restaurant or the grocery store) while screaming, like they were raised by wolves.

"Raising kids is hard!" you say. Yes, yes it is. Obviously way too hard for you.

comment #37

Richardson says ...

"Everybody vents. Rarely do they vent about people who didn't bother them."

Sure, everybody vents, and venting is inherently about negative things.

But more rounded people also celebrate positive things. Sitting down at a theater and getting into a random conversation with somebody you've never met before the screening starts. Making friends at festivals that you see over and over for two weeks and then never again. Sharing a laugh with the guy working the concession counter over the shitty, annoying customer who was ahead of you in line.

People who are not depressed curmudgeons have positive social interactions as well as negative ones. I have honestly never seen Jeff say a single positive thing about anybody that wasn't tied into their abilities as a filmmaker.

Also, the way I read the story, it sounds as if Jeff saw the kid come in and spent an hour just waiting for the kid to make a single noise so that he could turn around (within 20 seconds? If I'm watching a movie I like, it takes me more than 20 seconds to even notice somebody talking, let alone a little girl "squirming") and snap at her. He was looking for trouble.

comment #38

dixiedugan says ...

We never took our child to the theatre unless it was a kid flick and until she was old enough to behave in public. Toy Story 2 was one of her first films. If there was no sitter to be had we stayed home. I can't tell you how many 'new release' films we rented that first three years.

I find it irresponsible to take a small child to a film of that rating. If a person doesn't want to be bothered to be an actual parent which is a real job itself then why do they bother breeding?

comment #39

Richardson says ...

Maybe one of their parents was running for president on a pro-life ticket, so they were railroaded into it?

comment #40

dixiedugan says ...

Gold star to Richardson...