Kimosabe

In a laundry-list story about upcoming Disney projects, Variety's Marc Graser has reported that Johnny Depp has agreed to reprise his role as Captain Jack Sparrow in a fourth Pirates of the Caribbean pic and also play Tonto in a bigscreen adaptation of The Lone Ranger, both of which will be produced by Jerry Bruckheimer.


Johnny Depp; Jay Silverheels as Tonto in the '50s TV series The Lone Ranger

Whoa, whoa. I think we need to repeat this. Johnny Depp is going to play Tonto in a big-budget Lone Ranger movie. Meaning that it's going to be a jape? How could Depp's Tonto be performed with any sincerity? How can it not be satiric-ironic-moronic?

Depp will also star as the Mad Hatter in Tim Burton's Alice in Wonderland pic.

Disney distrib chief Dick Cook has called the upcoming pics for the rest of this year and 2009 "the most creative slate of films in Disney history," Graser reports. These films will include High School Musical 3: Senior Year, Bedtime Stories, Race to Witch Mountain, Hannah Montana: The Movie, Old Dogs, The Princess and the Frog, Robert Zemeckis' A Christmas Carol and Pixar's Up.

The most creative slate of films in Disney history? Not in the view of Ain't It Cool's Mr. Beaks.

Kimosabe means "trusty scout" or "trusty friend."

Posted by Jeffrey Wells on September 25, 2008 at 3:11 PM

comment #1

coxcable Author Profile Page says ...

This may be the most depressing movie news of the year.

The Disney meeting sounds like Hollywood's version of The Republican National Convention. With all the Philistines shouting, "Sequel, baby, sequel!" And Depp getting up Sarah Palin style and pandering the shit out of the place. (Did he really wear the pirate costume? Jesus H Christ!)

Who the hell Eddie Murphy-ized this once exhilarating actor?

Posted by coxcable Author Profile Page at September 25, 2008 3:50 PM

comment #2

Arran Author Profile Page says ...

He's part Cherokee so it's not ENTIRELY ridiculous.

Still. What the fuck, Johnny?

Posted by Arran Author Profile Page at September 25, 2008 3:54 PM

comment #3

Undercover Brother Author Profile Page says ...

Maybe by creative he means awful.

Zemekis and Pixar are a go though in my book. I'm there for those. The rest of this stuff can f#$* off and die. I hope the people behind this insipid "HSM" and "Montana" dreck get painful diseases for which all their millions cannot cure.

And can we officially declare Depp sold out? Another Pirates? The Mad Hatter? Fracking Tonto? He's well on his way to becoming Nicolas Cage.

Posted by Undercover Brother Author Profile Page at September 25, 2008 3:56 PM

comment #4

Jeremy Smith Author Profile Page says ...

He really did, coxcable. I guess it's quid pro quo. He gave Disney a franchise; they made him rich. I expect Dick Cook will sing at his daughter's sweet sixteen birthday somewhere down the line.

Posted by Jeremy Smith Author Profile Page at September 25, 2008 3:57 PM

comment #5

Mr. Gittes Author Profile Page says ...

This is really gross and unfortunate.

After Pirates 3, I thought Depp was going to take his credit earned there and do what he wanted to do - however ambitious and expensive, or small or different. Sweeney Todd, a musical, was a step in the right direction. Public Enemies will certainly be as well ( Depp isn't playing quirk!). And Shantaram would be THE role of a lifetime for Depp.

But, no. I mean, perhaps Depp thought he signed on to an adaptation of Sherman Alexie's, " The Lone Ranger and Tonto fistfight in Heaven." An revealing look at reservation life. Yeah, that's it. That must be it. Depp was fooled!

Posted by Mr. Gittes Author Profile Page at September 25, 2008 4:03 PM

comment #6

MartinBlank Author Profile Page says ...

I can't imagine that the same man who cowrote, directed and starred in The Brave (from a novel by recently deceased Gregory McDonald) — one of the starkest statements on reservation life ever filmed — would take the role of Tonto unless there was something subversive about it.

Posted by MartinBlank Author Profile Page at September 25, 2008 4:19 PM

comment #7

T. S. Idiot Author Profile Page says ...

Who under 50 has even heard of the dude my childhood buddies called the Long Ranger?

Posted by T. S. Idiot Author Profile Page at September 25, 2008 5:30 PM

comment #8

T. S. Idiot Author Profile Page says ...

Who under 50 has even heard of the dude my childhood buddies called the Long Ranger?

Posted by T. S. Idiot Author Profile Page at September 25, 2008 5:31 PM

comment #9

Josh Massey Author Profile Page says ...

"...would take the role of Tonto unless there was something subversive about it."

Of course there's going to be something subversive about it. I mean, hell, people seem to forget he starred in three Disney movies as an alcoholic, seemingly drug-addled, fey, eyeliner-wearing pirate. He didn't exactly play Jack Sparrow the way Nicolas Cage would have.

It sounds dubious, but Depp has earned the benefit of the doubt.

Posted by Josh Massey Author Profile Page at September 25, 2008 5:58 PM

comment #10

actionman Author Profile Page says ...

This is all awesome news to me. Depp is a phenomenal talent; I love watching him on screen. The Bruck is a serious showman; this will be one big fucking Western. I say bring on Pirates 4. I loved the first three, found them to be fantastic entertainments. If this Clooney rumor is true for the actual part of the Lone Ranger, then holy shit. Bruck better get Gore back for Pirates 4, and Lone Ranger, as it was originally announced months ago.

Posted by actionman Author Profile Page at September 25, 2008 6:03 PM

comment #11

BurmaShave Author Profile Page says ...

Somehow I managed to see it, and while it's a dreadful film, Depp's seldom seen THE BRAVE showcases him as a completely plausible native american. Still I would have preferred Mickey Rourke, just because that would be completely fucking insane.

Posted by BurmaShave Author Profile Page at September 25, 2008 6:23 PM

comment #12

Kristopher Tapley Author Profile Page says ...

Graser didn't "report" this. It was all over the place yesterday...

Posted by Kristopher Tapley Author Profile Page at September 25, 2008 6:51 PM

comment #13

erniesouchak Author Profile Page says ...

I'm as excited about this as I am about the rumored "I Am Legend" prequel. Come to think of it, does any studio have an exciting slate right now?

Posted by erniesouchak Author Profile Page at September 25, 2008 7:00 PM

comment #14

MovieBob Author Profile Page says ...

Tomorrow morning, a man will be observed casually shopping in the back aisles of a Home Depot. A clerk will observe later that the man looked very much like former Law & Order personality Adam Beach, an observation he began to formulate while the man politely asked him for the materials required to repair what he tried very hard not to call "a gigantic fucking fist-shaped hole in my motherfucking wall."

Posted by MovieBob Author Profile Page at September 25, 2008 8:38 PM

comment #15

rr3333 Author Profile Page says ...

How I long for the days of Hanson and Penhall.

Posted by rr3333 Author Profile Page at September 25, 2008 8:52 PM

comment #16

The Winchester Author Profile Page says ...

Yeah, I think the news of another Pirates movie is more upsetting than yet another Burton/Depp colaboration. But I'm not sure yet.

Posted by The Winchester Author Profile Page at September 25, 2008 10:25 PM

comment #17

frankbooth Author Profile Page says ...

Burton's Alice in Wonderland? Well, I can pretty much make that one in my head.

Posted by frankbooth Author Profile Page at September 25, 2008 11:49 PM

comment #18

Rich S. Author Profile Page says ...

Geez. For 15 years, Depp took every crazy, offbeat role he could find to avoid the "pretty boy" tag he could have capitalized on from day one. He was damn-near fired from POTC because his Jack Sparrow was so far out-there (Jeffrey certainly didn't know what to make of it).

So now he decides to settle in a bit and do some commercial stuff. So what? He's still doing things like Sweeney Todd, Shantaram and Public Enemies. And even in things like At World's End and Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, he still does interesting work.

You don't like it? Don't see it. Problem solved.

Posted by Rich S. Author Profile Page at September 26, 2008 5:42 AM

comment #19

hcat Author Profile Page says ...

So are they calling the Will Smith Prequel 'I will be Legend'?

Posted by hcat Author Profile Page at September 26, 2008 6:41 AM

comment #20

BruceShank Author Profile Page says ...

Same old story. Fans want their stars to only commit their career choices to what THEY want, not what the actor wants. He's given us plenty of the off-beat, inspired strangeling roles. He's maintained his acting integrity by keeping his course in his approach to more mainstream films. So let him cherry pick his roles, do something for his kids, make some decent coin and still give us all the enormous talent and visual interpretations we love to watch. In other words, cut him some slack. He hasn't let us down so far...

Posted by BruceShank Author Profile Page at September 29, 2008 6:51 AM

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