Discland
edited by Jonathan Doyle
Cloverfield [BLU-RAY] (Paramount Home Entertainment, 6.3.2008) Disguised under deliberately goofy, yet deliciously edible-sounding, aliases such as Cheese and Slusho, Matt Reeves' Cloverfield was produced and rushed into theaters under an equally appetizing shroud of secrecy. From last year's incredibly elusive Super Bowl ad to the film's viral marketing campaign, Cloverfield had everybody scratching their heads and drooling in anticipation. Aside from the as-yet untitled title and the Blair Witch-ian visual style, the film's biggest appeal was the enigmatic creature who was last (un)seen hurling the decapitated head of the Statue of Liberty onto the crowded streets of New York City. All we knew about the mysterious beast was that it was big and angry. Now that the highy-anticipated project has come and gone, one question has fortunately been answered: Cloverfield was a major success. (continued)

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Never Mind

Arizona Daily Star critic Phil Villarreal reported this morning that An American Carol director David Zucker shot a cheapshot bit aimed at Sen. Ted Kennedy but apparently (and understandably) decided to cut it due to Kennedy's recent struggles with brain cancer.

Zucker "had a Ted Kennedy look-alike offer a ride to someone at a convention," Villareal reports. "When he opened the car door, water spilled out. It's a reference to the 1969 incident in which Kennedy drove off a bridge with Mary Jo Kopechne as his passenger. Kennedy survived but Kopechne died.

Villareal says he "got this tidbit from former Tucsonan Jillian Murray, who has a role in the film. 'It was a cool stunt,' Murray told Villareal. 'Fish were coming out.'"

Zucker's scumbag sense of humor aside, the fish-coming-out-of-a-car is a bit from Paul Brickman's Risky Business. Remember? It was followed by the Porsche car-dealer guy coming up to Tom Cruise and his friends and asking, "Who's the U-boat commander?"

W Hour Is Nigh<< previous | next >>Bad

Posted by Jeffrey Wells on October 6, 2008 at 11:11 AM

comment #1

actionman Author Profile Page says ...

This movie sounds like one of the biggest pieces of shit of all time.

Posted by actionman Author Profile Page at October 6, 2008 11:22 AM

comment #2

Amazing Larry Author Profile Page says ...

Well, at least Zucker cut the bit. The right wing has always found the Kopechne incident hilarious, so I'm really surprised.

But I've got 5 bucks that says it'll be on the DVD as a "completely outrageous!" deleted scene. Y'know, because it's a real "pro-America" kind of movie and all.

Posted by Amazing Larry Author Profile Page at October 6, 2008 11:28 AM

comment #3

T. S. Idiot Author Profile Page says ...

What happened to the fish?

Posted by T. S. Idiot Author Profile Page at October 6, 2008 11:31 AM

comment #4

D.Z. Author Profile Page says ...

"Zucker "had a Ted Kennedy look-alike offer a ride to someone at a convention," Villareal reports. "When he opened the car door, water spilled out. It's a reference to the 1969 incident in which Kennedy drove off a bridge with Mary Jo Kopechne as his passenger. Kennedy survived but Kopechne died."

Did Bush apologize for his DUI yet?

Posted by D.Z. Author Profile Page at October 6, 2008 11:37 AM

comment #5

Yuval Author Profile Page says ...

Didn't he describe himself as a "Kennedy Democrat"? I guess he only likes the Dead Kennedys.
Hey, I have a great joke for his next movie - McCain offering Palin a ride on his clunky plane when a Vietnamese falls out with cable wires. That's funny AND satire.

Posted by Yuval Author Profile Page at October 6, 2008 11:37 AM

comment #6

62Lincoln Author Profile Page says ...

Cheap shot? Ted has enjoyed almost 40 more years of life than Kopechne. He will never outlive that moment, nor should he.

Posted by 62Lincoln Author Profile Page at October 6, 2008 11:39 AM

comment #7

mitchtaylor Author Profile Page says ...

What enrages me about this anecdote is it shows poor comedic sensibilities across the board. You're making a movie pointing the finger at liberals, decrying their very philosophy as dangerous and Un-American. Fine. If the jokes are good, I'll laugh right along with you, but given the summary here it's a shit joke anyway. But then you pull a punch because one of these strawmen has a bout with cancer? Grow a fucking pair and stop bowing to PC sensibilities, chickenshits. Have the fucking courage of your convictions. If Kennedy's worthy of mockery without cancer, he's worthy of mockery with cancer.

Posted by mitchtaylor Author Profile Page at October 6, 2008 11:41 AM

comment #8

D.Z. Author Profile Page says ...

Lincoln: "Cheap shot? Ted has enjoyed almost 40 more years of life than Kopechne."

And Bush enjoyed 62 years more of life than that frog he blew up with a firecracker.

Posted by D.Z. Author Profile Page at October 6, 2008 11:47 AM

comment #9

SaveFarris Author Profile Page says ...

Did DZ just call Mary Jo Kopechne a frog? That's weird, even by his standards. And just a little bit sexist.

Posted by SaveFarris Author Profile Page at October 6, 2008 11:59 AM

comment #10

iamwhoiam Author Profile Page says ...

New McJerk ad:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PjEKRIBDv6Q

Posted by iamwhoiam Author Profile Page at October 6, 2008 11:59 AM

comment #11

Howlingman Author Profile Page says ...

White noise, SaveFerris, just white noise. Ignore it and it'll go away.

Posted by Howlingman Author Profile Page at October 6, 2008 12:06 PM

comment #12

Rosebudsthesled Author Profile Page says ...

Here are two reasons why the bit was cut:
1) It's not funny.
2) Most young people today have no idea what Chappaquidick was.

Posted by Rosebudsthesled Author Profile Page at October 6, 2008 12:10 PM

comment #13

Sean Means Author Profile Page says ...

Trust me, I sat through this crapfest. If they cut something for being not funny, there'd be nothing left.


Posted by Sean Means Author Profile Page at October 6, 2008 12:28 PM

comment #14

Craptastic Author Profile Page says ...

Laura Bush killed a man.

Posted by Craptastic Author Profile Page at October 6, 2008 12:50 PM

comment #15

Joshua Mooney Author Profile Page says ...

D.Z. says ..."And Bush enjoyed 62 years more of life than that frog he blew up with a firecracker. "

Here's my vision of Hell, D.Z., for Bush and anyone who blew up frogs, and you can mock it all you want but it's a Christian Hell based on the Bible: George Bush will be in Hell with that fire-cracker-snuffedfrog in his throat for all time. And that frog will keep producing eggs for all eternity, and those eggs will always hatch to tadpoles and they will swim in George Bush's entrails and feed on them, over and over, until they are ready to slip up past their momma in his throat and leap out there into the Hell-fire (by which he is concurrently being tortured forever and ever), and they will go on to do whatever frogs do once they leap into the sulfur-pits of Hell (annoy other Hell-dwellers, I suppose). The main point is, this frog will trouble George Bush for eternity, and her offspring will eat out his innards. That's the church as it was taught to me when it comes to wanton destroyers of God's creatures. As to George Bush's other sins, I have no immediate opinion, nor have I the time. I was only concerned with but the first one.

Posted by Joshua Mooney Author Profile Page at October 6, 2008 1:49 PM

comment #16

otownroger Author Profile Page says ...

Anybody see Phil V. on the Tomatometer? Only legit print critic in America to endorse An American Carol?
Did he miss the Danny Pearl beheading joke? A real knee-slapper, that one.
The movie's an abortion.

Posted by otownroger Author Profile Page at October 6, 2008 1:56 PM

comment #17

LYT Author Profile Page says ...

I forget which liberal blogger it was who coined the phrase, but it's apropos here:

"I used to be a liberal, but ever since 9/11, I'm outraged by Chappaquiddick."

Point being, it's funny how some people went so quickly from "Hey, maybe some leftists go too far in blaming America for 9/11" to suddenly adopting every single right-wing talking point about Democrats.

Posted by LYT Author Profile Page at October 6, 2008 2:16 PM

comment #18

D.Z. Author Profile Page says ...

Farris: "Did DZ just call Mary Jo Kopechne a frog?"

No, but McCain called Hillary a pig.

Posted by D.Z. Author Profile Page at October 6, 2008 3:49 PM

comment #19

Ogami Itto Author Profile Page says ...

Laura Bush killed a man. just to see what it felt like. Cold.

Posted by Ogami Itto Author Profile Page at October 6, 2008 5:02 PM

comment #20

EnglishBob Author Profile Page says ...

For what it's worth, Bill Murray played Ted Kennedy covered in seaweed in an SNL skit decades ago. He said he was out parking the car..

Posted by EnglishBob Author Profile Page at October 6, 2008 5:51 PM

comment #21

Josh Massey Author Profile Page says ...

"No, but McCain called Hillary a pig."

And freemasons like maple syrup. What's your point?

Posted by Josh Massey Author Profile Page at October 6, 2008 6:41 PM

comment #22

Hallick Author Profile Page says ...

Sadder still is the fact that they didn't have time to shoot the second take where a Jimmy Carter look-alike flees in terror when a rabbit spilled out with the water. Ho ho ho...

Posted by Hallick Author Profile Page at October 6, 2008 6:52 PM

comment #23

D.Z. Author Profile Page says ...

Bob: Bill Murray wasn't trying to help Nixon or Reagan win.

Josh: How do you know Freemasons like syrup? That's my point.

Hallick: "Sadder still is the fact that they didn't have time to shoot the second take where a Jimmy Carter look-alike flees in terror when a rabbit spilled out with the water."

I'd like to see a sketch where Cheney hides in a bunker and Bush is busy reading 'My Pet Goat' while terrorists attack the U.S.

Posted by D.Z. Author Profile Page at October 6, 2008 7:33 PM

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