Mercury Man
Possible ways for Jeremy Piven to redeem himself: (a) return to Broadway in a sharp, well-reviewed play (not a revival) and stay with it to the end of his contact; (b) swear off poon by way of a Leonard Cohen celibacy at an ashram in eastern Oregon, (c) deliver a strong performance in a first-rate film that expands his range (i.e., nowhere near Ari Gold ); (d) buy some work boots, strap on a utility belt and help build low-income housing in some economically hurting area, a la Jimmy Carter, or do a Sean Penn and go to Iran/Iraq, braving bullets and shrapnel.
Because right now (and especially with the publication of this Ben Widdecombe story) Piven has solidified his rep as a legendary doofus that a lot of people would really and truly love to see fail.
Posted by Jeffrey Wells on December 31, 2008 at 8:24 AM
comment #1
Sabina E
says ...
Jeremy, darling, she's using you for money and fame.
Yuck! I don't see why any reasonable gal would get with him other than for those reasons.
Posted by Sabina E
at December 31, 2008 8:57 AM
comment #2
MikeSchaeferSF
says ...
So, it took him 4 years to figure out that taking your mom to the Golden Globes is, like, totally gay?
Posted by MikeSchaeferSF
at December 31, 2008 9:01 AM
comment #3
nemo
says ...
Model / bottle waitress? What kind of bullshit job is that?
Being an actor is a real job. That gal needs to get together with Lee Siegel, cultural critic, so they can talk about their bullshit jobs together. Out in the spiritual purity of the suburbs.
". . . swear off poon by way of a Leonard Cohen celibacy at an ashram in eastern Oregon . . ."
I think Piven got sick eating the actual literal kind of fish.
Posted by nemo
at December 31, 2008 9:08 AM
comment #4
George Prager
says ...
Get a sex change and then become a Carmelite Nun.
Posted by George Prager
at December 31, 2008 9:10 AM
comment #5
BurmaShave
says ...
Ditch the hairpiece, for starters.
Posted by BurmaShave
at December 31, 2008 9:44 AM
comment #6
nemo
says ...
Good God, he met her at Britney Spears' birthday party. One shudders to think what one does to end up on that invite list.
And what's this BS about him undergoing "treatment" in Bangkok? The only "treatment" anybody goes to Bangkok for is administered by 14-year-old girls.
Posted by nemo
at December 31, 2008 9:54 AM
comment #7
scooterzz
says ...
that's why they call it bangkok.....
Posted by scooterzz
at December 31, 2008 10:28 AM
comment #8
MindlessObamaton
says ...
I'm pretty sure that Wells is the first person to ever use the Piv and Cohen in the same blog post. Therefore, my brains have exploded.
Posted by MindlessObamaton
at December 31, 2008 10:31 AM
comment #9
dcc77
says ...
BurmaShave: I think it's more of a weave or hair-replacement but he definitely has more hair than he did in the 90s. He was the George Constanza doppelganger on Seinfeld, after all.
Posted by dcc77
at December 31, 2008 12:48 PM
comment #10
lazarus
says ...
I've had an unjustifiable hatred for this guy for years, and it's so nice to have my feelings finally vindicated. Call it psychic animosity.
As far as I'm concerned, his career peak was playing the checkout guy in Singles who does the vocal mashup of Public Enemy and Elvis Costello to Campbell Scott.
Posted by lazarus
at December 31, 2008 1:47 PM
comment #11
Ray
says ...
Piven is getting poon?
Unbelievable.
Posted by Ray
at December 31, 2008 3:47 PM
comment #12
hiviper
says ...
I first noticed Piven in the movie Judgement Night.
I figured the guy was so convincing as an unlikeable, egotistical prick in that role, he either is a great actor or playing himself.
Turns out the answer is obvious now.
Posted by hiviper
at December 31, 2008 7:52 PM
comment #13
Magic Rat
says ...
Say what you want about Piven, but I don't think anybody here can argue that Judgment Night is Estevez's finest moment on screen. His searing performance as Frank Wyatt still gives me chills when I catch this flick on Spike's annual "Movies That Suck Balls" marathon.
Posted by Magic Rat
at January 1, 2009 11:57 AM
comment #14
masanf
says ...
"...or do a Sean Penn and go to Iran/Iraq, braving bullets and shrapnel."
Oh please, give me a fucking break. Sean Penn didn't brave a single fucking bullet or a single piece of shrapnel. Sean Penn allowed himself to be used by two of the most brutal tyrannies on earth and is what one might call a "useful idiot". Maybe Jeremy Piven can strike up a friendship with anti-democratic thugs like Hugo Chavez and Raul Castro as well; that is if he wants to be like Penn.
Posted by masanf
at January 4, 2009 2:00 PM
comment #15
janee
says ...
Si vous etes interesses par le dossier, ou desirez en savoir plus, contactez-moi par mail, et je vous mettrai en contact.
Best regards,Jane, CEO of database high availability
Posted by janee
at May 19, 2011 6:01 AM