comment #1

alynch says ...

Wow, so they think explaining that it's all because of sushi will make people make fun of him less. An interesting tactic.

comment #2

Geoff says ...

sweet jesus. this is too funny.

comment #3

MindlessObamaton says ...

Are they cutting coke with mercury now?

comment #4

iamjoe says ...

I concur. Man up, Piven. Or at least say you're hittting rehab.

comment #5

actionman says ...

All of this is simply unfuckingbelievable. I haven't been this irritated in a long time.

comment #6

MindlessObamaton says ...

RIP Sam bottoms. Gone at 53.

"You either surf or you fight!"

comment #7

MilkMan says ...

Young sluts love sushi. At least that's what I've been told by some young sluts. We love sushi, they said to me. But I shouldn't really call them young sluts. That's not nice. Maybe I should call them what they want me to call them, which is Mom.

Piven needs to lay off the Spicy Tuna.

comment #8

p.Vice says ...

MilkMan, are we thus meant to deduce that your mom is Jeremy Piven?

comment #9

MilkMan says ...

Not really. What you're meant to deduce is that J. Piven probably spends way too much time at Sushi Roku, or wherever it is that any self-respecting pussy hound has to eat five nights a week if he wants to get laid in this city, a city full of young girls (the Piv's pref.) who, according to the plethora of young girls who have dated my dad, just love to eat sushi, for reasons I don't completely understand, even though I have asked, but to which I have never received a coherent answer, or maybe I have, but was too unversed in Bimbo to get.

comment #10

Edward says ...

I love sushi, does that make me a slut?

comment #11

MilkMan says ...

If you consider three orders of Blue Fin Toro as a down payment on a blowjob, then yes, Edward, you are a slut.

comment #12

Chapman Carruthers says ...

I love sluts, does that mean I like sushi?

Cause I don't. Well, unless it was cooked in water collected downstream from a coal burning power plant. I guess the Piv and I have something in common. And before the rest of you continue to bash him, you might want to read what the FDA says about mercury levels in fish:

>>>Fetuses, young children, and men with small dicks appear to face the most risk, because of their small size and the vulnerability of their nervous systems.

Huh. Piven's claim may be legit after all.

comment #13

MilkMan says ...

You have to eat A LOT of sushi to get mercury poisoning. So if what Piv's People says is true, that means Piv spends an inordiante amount of time eating sushi, hence my crack about sluts and tekka maki and shit. You see, it all makes sense if it's true, and if it doesn't, then that's even better Either way, Piv is a tool, and as tools are want to do, he can't help but acting like a tool.

comment #14

Scott Mendelson says ...

Back when I first moved out to LA, I played around as an extra for a month or so. Miserable work that I wouldn't wish on my enemy, but that's another story. Anyway, I played a waiter in the 'Ari's daughter gets bat mitzvah-ed episode'. The climactic speech where Ari toasts his daughter, asks Vinnie to come up and say high, etc etc... it took Piven three hours to get that right. It was already about 7pm and we were stuck there till 10pm because Piven couldn't remember his lines for a simple bat-mitvah toast that we all had memorized by take five. Furthermore, when he forgot his line or lost his place, he was apparently incapable of ad libbing of any kind. Piven should thank the editors of that show each and every day, because they are single-handedly responsible for the various awards that he has won. To this day I am in shock at the apparent incompetence at work.

comment #15

crsryan says ...

I don't understand this story at all. Why is Jeremy Piven not allowed to quit a job if he wants? It's a revival of a million year-old play, not some huge movie that he's the star of or something. No one will lose their job because Jeremy Piven and his massive drawing power is no longer associated with Speed the Plow.

comment #16

buckzollo says ...

Damn Wells laying the Ram Jam on Piven.

comment #17

Phatang! says ...

But think of all those ticket holders who have waited for months to see JEREMY PIVEN ON STAGE. I mean, where will they find meaning in their lives now?

comment #18

Griff says ...

You have to admit that mercury poisoning from too much of the raw fish is a very high-thread count kind of ailment.

comment #19

actionman says ...

Hey Phatang -- go spend $250 of your hard earned money on something you really want to see with an actor you really like and then tell me that you wouldn't be fuckin' pissed if that actor bailed on the show.

comment #20

actionman says ...

and Griff, that's very, very funny.

comment #21

LexG says ...

Is mercury known to miraculously regrow hair, particularly in character actors who were mostly bald in 1995's HEAT but now have a full head of it?

One of the more bewildering celebrity transformations of the last decade is Piven's rise from tubby, nebbishy, balding douche to amped-up, fast-talking pussyhound maniac.

Seriously. It's like if Paul Giamatti suddenly turned up in a year or two sporting a full head of well-coifed Pitt hair, weighing a lean 160 with ripped muscles, and banging supermodels by the carload.

I DO NOT GET IT.

comment #22

MindlessObamaton says ...

SM: great, pathetic story. I stopped watching that show in the second season, but I remember that speech and how touching it was. they really should thank god for that editor.

LexG: How can one man rule here AND over on the HOT BLOG? Good stuff man, but MilkMan is defintely in the run. His posts are great for their odd slant on things.

comment #23

ZayTonday says ...

Jeremy Piven is a douchebag? I am SHOCKED by this news.

comment #24

ZayTonday says ...

I also find it funny that so many people I know all have their own unique Jeremy Piven being a douchebag stories.

comment #25

dinovelvet says ...

crsryan - its not Jeremy Piven dropping out of a role that's the story here, the only reason this is getting any attention at all is because of the hilarious excuse of it being due to a "high mercury count".

And for more classic Bald Piven, I recommend the Seinfeld episode where he played the actor playing the fictional version of George Costanza (yes that's how bald he was, he was a substitute for Jason Alexander), and his bit part in Cameron Crowe's Singles.

If Piven has any sense of humor at all, he'll allow this to be mocked in an future Entourage episode.

comment #26

nemo says ...

Apparently William Macy came to the rescue by jumping in to replace Jeremy Piven in the play. Piven's a good actor, and Macy's at least 15 years older than Piven. But man, if I held tickets for that Mamet play, I'd be delighted. I'd consider William Macy an unexpected upgrade.

Macy's terrific, and he and Mamet practically grew up together.

comment #27

theultimatebiu says ...

It might seem prejudice but I can't take any man seriously who wears a carpet rug on their head. Piven...YOU ARE BALD AND SHOULD BE PROUD!!!!

'High MECURY COUNT' .....*sniggers*....yeah right

comment #28

Renfield says ...

Somebody call Cucask. A refund is in order.

Hell, at every job I've ever had that excuse would get either have gotten me FIRED or deemed questionable.

What a load of shit.

Bastard just couldn't remember his fucking lines.

Broadway sucks because there's SO much talent out there but all they're looking to do is draw Mr. & Mrs. Middle-America in with a "name".

Here's a clue, Broadway producers: Good is good.

comment #29

BurmaShave says ...

LexG indeed, it's a shocking metamorphosis. Let us not forget there was a time when Piven was enough of a schlemiel to play the actor playing George on TV on Seinfeld.

comment #30

Doug says ...

I hesitate to question anyone's illness.
Plenty of tombstones could include the words "told you so."

comment #31

EDouglasCS says ...

I love David Mamet... only he would go on the record with a gem like this one: ""So my understanding is that he is leaving show business to pursue a career as a thermometer."

comment #32

byanyother says ...

Gee, slow news day?

comment #33

crsryan says ...

Dino -- I like your movies. Can I make a special order?

comment #34

Phatang! says ...

Actionman:

Objectively, I feel sympathy. Subjectively, I CAN NOT UNDERSTAND being such a big Jeremy Piven fan. I can't even write the words "Big Jeremy Piven fan" without wanting to lace them in sarcasm. But for the sake of your feelings I wont.

comment #35

Josh Massey says ...

"Is mercury known to miraculously regrow hair, particularly in character actors who were mostly bald in 1995's HEAT but now have a full head of it?"

The dude was bald in Say Anything. 20 years ago.

comment #36

Sabina E says ...

Japanese people eat a lot of sushi and they don't get mercury poisoning.

gosh, what a fucking crybaby.

comment #37

Admiral82 says ...

The waters by Japan are not as polluted as our oceans I suppose...

I love that story about Piven in Aspen. This is all from memory so please forgive if I am vague or incorrect. Piven went in to this upscale restaruant with a whole group of people, no reservation for the place. Piven was very rude to the staff, gave them guff about not having a table for him and his crew. He finally got a table, after waiting a bit. They ran their server ragged, stayed for a long time. When they departed, he left "Entourage" season 1 on the table for the server as a tip. Then told the host "Thanks for nothing" on the way out. Word has it the server followed him out and threw the "Entourage" DVD set at Piven and his posse...

That picture of him eating sushi with that shit eatin' grin on his face is priceless.

actionman: I'd be pissed too. Piven in Speed-the-Plow sounds like a magic show. Oh well, could be worse I suppose. I'm sure the understudy is better prepared for the role anyway.

comment #38

Billy Joel says ...

Piven's rug is older than Shatner's.

On a related note regarding rugs: Funny how Travolta's shooting a movie now completely bald, but then goes on Ellen's talk show with a flat top rug.

Give it up Johnny!

comment #39

raygo says ...

Piven strikes me as gay ... as in closeted homosexual. Never had a serious gf, takes mom to the awards shows. Just sayin'.

comment #40

Josh Massey says ...

"Japanese people eat a lot of sushi and they don't get mercury poisoning. "

Yeah, but over 90% of them are lactose intolerant. There are genetic differences; perhaps mercury immunity is one of them.

comment #41

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comment #42

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