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Ishtar
(May, 1987)
The Seven-Per-Cent Solution (OOP)
(Ross, 1976)
The Devils
(Russell, 1974)
The Pirates of Penzance
(Papp/Leach, 1983)
The Fortune
(Nichols, 1975)
-30-
(Webb, 1959)
Betrayal
(Jones, 1983)
Play It As It Lays
(Perry, 1972)
The Outfit
(Flynn, 1973)
Alex in Wonderland
(Mazursky, 1969)
The Legend of Lylah Clare
(Aldrich, 1968)
In The Cool of the Day
(Stevens, 1963)
That Cold Day in the Park
(Altman, 1969)
Thumb Trippin'
(Masters, 1972)
Midas Run
(Kjellin, 1969)
At Long Last Love
(Bogdanovich, 1973)
Brewster McCloud
(Altman, 1972)
Outcast of the Islands
(Reed, 1951)

Reader Submissions
1930's-1950's
The Moon's Our Home
(Seiter, 1936)
Sh! The Octopus
(McGann, 1937)
The Mating Season
(Leisen, 1951)
Bad for Each Other
(Rapper, 1953)
The Phenix City Story
(Karlson, 1955)
Run of the Arrow
(Fuller, 1956)
House of Secrets
(Green, 1956)
Saint Joan
(Preminger, 1957)
Macabre
(Castle, 1958)
The Fiend Who Walked the West
(G. Douglas, 1958
Five Gates to Hell
(Clavell, 1959)
1960's
Key Witness
(Karlson, 1960)
Summer and Smoke
(Glenville, 1961)
The Chapman Report
(Cukor,1962)
Bachelor Flat
(Tashlin, 1962) [on Hulu]
The L Shaped Room
(Forbes, 1963)
The Chalk Garden
(Neame, 1964)
A Thousand Clowns
(Coe, 1965)
You're a Big Boy Now
(Coppola, 1966)
The Whisperers
(Forbes, 1967)
Dark of the Sun
(Cardiff, 1968)
Skidoo
(Preminger, 1968)
Last Summer
(Perry, 1969)
The Comic
(C. Reiner, 1969)
1970-1974
The Revolutionary
(Williams, 1970)
The Landlord
(Ashby, 1970)
Diary of a Mad Housewife
(Perry, 1970)
Tropic of Cancer
(Strick, 1970)
I Never Sang for My Father
(Cates, 1970)
Sometimes a Great Notion
(Newman, 1971)
Marriage of a Young Stockbroker
(Turman, 1971)
The Music Lovers
(Russell, 1971)
Drive, He Said
(Nicholson, 1971)
The Steagle
(Sylbert, 1971)
The Last Movie
(Hopper, 1971)
Made For Each Other
(Bean, 1971)
The Day the Clown Cried
(Lewis, 1972)
Hickey & Boggs (OOP)
(Culp, 1972)
The Carey Treatment
(Edwards, 1972)
Pete 'n' Tillie
(Ritt, 1972)
Slither
(Zieff, 1973)
Man on a Swing
(Perry, 1974)
Open Season
(Collinson, 1974)
The Tamarind Seed
(Edwards, 1974)
Law and Disorder
(Passer, 1974)
Homebodies
(Yust, 1974)
Stardust
(Apted, 1974)
Celine and Julie Go Boating
(Rivette, 1974)
1975-1979
Rafferty and the Gold Dust Twins
(Richards, 1975
At Long Last Love
(Bogdanovich, 1975)
Hearts of the West
(Zieff, 1975)
Welcome to L.A.
(Rudolph, 1976)
W.C. Fields and Me
(Hiller, 1976)
Citizens Band
(Demme, 1977)
Twilight's Last Gleaming
(Aldrich, 1977)
Looking for Mr. Goodbar
(Brooks, 1977)
Girlfriends
(Weill, 1978)
Movie Movie
(Donen, 1978)
The Medusa Touch
(Gold, 1978)
American Hot Wax
(Mutrux, 1978)
Hot Stuff
(DeLuise, 1979)
Scavenger Hunt
(Schultz , 1979)
Players
(Harvey, 1979)
Rich Kids
(Young, 1979)
Nightwing
(Hiller, 1979)
Screams of a Winter's Night
(Wilson, 1979
When You Comin' Back Red Ryder?
(Katselas, 1979
1980's
Resurrection
(Petrie, 1980)
The Awakening
(Newell, 1980)
Simon
(Brickman, 1980)
God's Angry Man
(Herzog, 1980)
Fast-Walking
(Harris, 1982)
Twice Upon a Time
(Korty & Swenson, 1983)
Trouble in Mind
(Rudolph, 1985)
When the Wind Blows
(Murikami, 1986)
Housekeeping
(Forsyth, 1987)
The Glass Menagerie
(Newman, 1987)
Patty Hearst
(Schrader, 1988)
Drowning by Numbers
(Greenaway, 1988)
Haunted Summer
(Passer, 1988)
The Decline of Western Civilization Part II: The Metal Years
(Spheeris, 1988)
1990's
Old Times
(Curtis, 1991)
Prospero's Books
(Greenaway, 1991)
City of Hope
(Sayles, 1991)
The Baby of Macon
(Greenaway, 1993)
King of the Hill
(Soderbergh, 1993)
Dadetown
(Hexter, 1995)
SubUrbia
(Linklater, 1997)

Upcoming

January 8

Bitch Slap

Waiting for Armageddon

Wonderful World

Youth in Revolt

January 15

January 22

Drool

Extraordinary Measures

The Girl on the Train

Hat Is Back

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If you don't know anything about the semi-infamous Star Hotel/cowboy hat/ residual-scent episode, read about it here and then continue. I walked into the Park City police station about 10:15 pm this evening and asked if they had my cowboy hat. It took them a while to find it, but find it they did. Good guys! I now look like the Durango Dude. I am here in Park City -- stoked, outfitted, ready to rock, getting my press pass tomorrow morning, etc. Life is good again.

Saddest, most neglected cowboy hat in the world on butcher-block table inside Squatters, a grilled burgers-and-cold brewski place in Park City, Utah -- Wednesday, 1.14.08, 10:55 pm

Gran Geezers<< previous | next >>McGoohan Man

Posted by Jeffrey Wells on January 14, 2009 at 9:14 PM

comment #1

hunterd says ...

that's not THAT emotionally vivid.

Posted by hunterd at January 14, 2009 9:45 PM

comment #2

MindlessObamaton says ...

Genius.

Posted by MindlessObamaton at January 14, 2009 9:46 PM

comment #3

MindlessObamaton says ...

So, when the cops help Wells out, they're good guys. But when they arrest some drunken, asshole actors, they aren't?

Posted by MindlessObamaton at January 14, 2009 9:47 PM

comment #4

Uncle Grambo says ...

This is the best news I have heard so far this year. Congrats, Jeffrey!

Posted by Uncle Grambo at January 14, 2009 9:48 PM

comment #5

BurmaShave says ...

This is what I was worried you meant when I first read the header "Shoot and Run". Glad you're reunited without more fuss.

Posted by BurmaShave at January 14, 2009 10:21 PM

comment #6

alynch says ...

At first I thought that scarf underneath the hat was an Eastwood poncho. Anyway, I must admit that the hat is very emotionally vivid.

Posted by alynch at January 14, 2009 10:38 PM

comment #7

Circumvrent says ...

I didn't realize Miller Chill was still in season...

Posted by Circumvrent at January 14, 2009 10:43 PM

comment #8

guy says ...

I think your hat is drunk. Maybe that's why it's so emotionally vivid.

Posted by guy at January 15, 2009 12:58 AM

comment #9

Edward Havens says ...

BUT DOES IT STILL HAVE THAT MOTHERFUCKING HAT SCENT?!?!?!?!

Posted by Edward Havens at January 15, 2009 1:07 AM

comment #10

LexG says ...

Hahahahahahahahaha!

This saga is PURE OWNAGE.

Wells might be my IDOL.

Posted by LexG at January 15, 2009 1:08 AM

comment #11

Edward Havens says ...

And isn't it funny he's run two columns about this damn hat after the "This is my last and final post about the emotionally vivid cowboy hat" start to his December 30 monologue he links to here?

Posted by Edward Havens at January 15, 2009 1:11 AM

comment #12

Pinko Punko says ...

Havens,

The audience clearly demanded a resolution, as test-screeners always sheepishly do. The directors cut will of course have Jeff posting "I'm off to the PC Police Station to get my hat, I'm getting onto an elevator now. The woman next to me looks like Sean Young. Posted from my iPhone." Then HE goes blank forever.

Posted by Pinko Punko at January 15, 2009 1:18 AM

comment #13

theultimatebiu says ...

I seriously hope they make a movie based on your life, people just need to know.

Posted by theultimatebiu at January 15, 2009 2:24 AM

comment #14

DeafBrownTrashPunk says ...

*shaking my head and snickering*

Posted by DeafBrownTrashPunk at January 15, 2009 9:07 AM

comment #15

MickTravisMcGee says ...

Quentin Crisp called.

He said when he left that hat at your place it meant that he was coming back, NOT that you should go parading around in it.

Don't you understand how these rules work???

Posted by MickTravisMcGee at January 15, 2009 9:21 AM

comment #16

Admiral82 says ...

Ha! That's incredible.

Someone check it for weed....

Posted by Admiral82 at January 15, 2009 10:11 AM

comment #17

T. Holly says ...

I call bullshit. Anyone in their right mind would have gotten a photo at the police station.

Posted by T. Holly at January 15, 2009 10:58 AM

comment #18

iamjoe says ...

And finally, the sun broke through the cloud on this dark morning, with a bright beam shining down. The gristled and tired hero squinted as he saw his long lost hat float toward on this beam slowly, and he knew this particular battle was over.

He put out his worn hand and the hat fell into it as the sun retreated back to the dark clouds. The hero grunted and threw his returned prize on his head knowing that the battle against low thread counts and tubby fly-over rubes would begin soon. But the hat....the hat makes it easier.

Posted by iamjoe at January 15, 2009 11:30 AM

comment #19