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Just Had To
I lasted ten minutes with Lymelife earlier this afternoon. I was talking to MCN's Kim Voynar about her damaged left foot, the lights came down, the movie played a bit and I was starting to think about escaping less than five minutes later. I knew I had to five minutes after that. I know from ten-minute bailouts. I don't make a habit of them -- maybe five or six times in my life -- but I now if films aren't going to work for me very quickly.
We all know what it's like to feel intrigued and curious and be unsure what a film is doing or where it's going during the first 10 or 20 minutes. This wasn't like that. The energy was wrong, the vibe was off, the fatigue factor had manifested within minutes and it just wasn't happening.
This was "I'm not going to sit through a leafy suburban movie with Keiran Culkin playing Alec Baldwin's son." This was "I'm not going to watch the weathered-looking, saggy-faced Timothy Hutton -- it takes decades of partying to get a face like his -- play an emotionally repressed weirdo for the next 90 plus minutes." This was the "oh, no, I've been here before, I know what's going to happen" indie Sundance blahs/blues.
I might get stuck with it on a plane some day and watch it all through. But maybe not. I just know/knew I couldn't sit there and get into a movie starring Keiran Culkin, especially one with him wearing a truly dorky looking light-blue mixed with dark-blue winter jacket.
Posted by Jeffrey Wells on January 16, 2009 at 4:26 PM
Essentials
comment #1
MilkMan
says ...
Good for you. Life is too short. I agree.
And if Timothy Hutton knows how to do one thing well. it's party. I wonder how long ago he turned his Academy Award into a bong. I'm guessing around the time he agreed to do Made in Heaven.
Posted by MilkMan
at January 16, 2009 4:54 PM
comment #2
BurmaShave
says ...
Baldwin was filming this when he was interviewed for that hilarious New Yorker profile of him in the late summer/early fall. He didn't seem too enthusiastic about it.
Posted by BurmaShave
at January 16, 2009 6:19 PM
comment #3
thatmovieguy
says ...
Saw it in Toronto. It's not a perfect film by any stretch of the imagination, but it's generally well-acted and just strange enough to hold your attention. Emma Roberts was outstanding in it (playing a much more earthy and mature role than she has up until now) and Baldwin does a very solid job of playing the morally questionable dad who says one thing and does another. I can't say I loved it, although it certainly has stayed with me and I have probably seen a good 100 films since then, so that's something.
Posted by thatmovieguy
at January 16, 2009 6:29 PM
comment #4
LexG
says ...
Shouldn't ALL the Kulkin kids be like *40* by now? And when we-- the collective we, not me-- made Home Alone a hit 18 YEARS AGO, was it some referendum that we needed the Culkin family in our lives for TWO MORE DECADES?
Since Mac K.'s heyday A DECADE AND A HALF AGO, nobody-- NOOOOOOOOBODY-- has wanted or needed to see him or his brothers on ANY screen, big or small. Can there be a national vote on whether anyone has EVER paid for a movie ticket solely because one of the lesser Culkins was in the movie?
Going back to the age thing, how did NICK STAHL start out as a kid actor, LATER THAN THE CULKINS, and the dude's like *40* now, banging Marissa Tomei and shit onscreen. And Ethan Embry was like 8 years old in DUTCH in 1991 and he looks *55* now. Yet the Culkins are still 20 years old or younger.
Please explain.
Posted by LexG
at January 16, 2009 8:00 PM
comment #5
The Playlist
says ...
I think walking out of a movie can be one of the most disrespectful things one can do, but at the same time, milkman is correct, life is too fucking short. I wish i had the balls to do it more often. i think i've done it twice (last time was Starsky & Hutch).
Posted by The Playlist
at January 16, 2009 8:11 PM
comment #6
Ryansi51
says ...
macaulay culkin is 28.
and i think he was great in Saved and he seems pretty cool in interviews.
owned.
Posted by Ryansi51
at January 16, 2009 9:17 PM
comment #7
CMed1
says ...
Everybody, I'm sorry for enabling Lex, but that was really funny.
Posted by CMed1
at January 16, 2009 9:30 PM
comment #8
Ray
says ...
Please tell me what other major or minor film critic judges a film on this basis:
"I just know/knew I couldn't sit there and get into a movie starring Keiran Culkin, especially one with him wearing a truly dorky looking light-blue mixed with dark-blue winter jacket."
Just bizarre. This blog is like an unblinking peek into madness
Posted by Ray
at January 16, 2009 9:39 PM
comment #9
hiviper
says ...
It seems that sometimes Jeff shuts down a movie strictly for irrational and personal reasons. That's the neurotic Jeff we've all come to love and read.
Here's a perfect example of him shutting down an interesting movie due to his own shit. And another was Let the Right One In, easily the best foreign movie this year.
It's cool - that's why we read HE.
Posted by hiviper
at January 16, 2009 10:18 PM
comment #10
BurmaShave
says ...
Wait Wells walked out of LET THE RIGHT ONE IN? Shame! And Lex, that was outstanding, even though I think Kieran Culkin is actually a major talent.
Posted by BurmaShave
at January 17, 2009 12:55 AM
comment #11
Wiggumx
says ...
I liked Culkin in "Igby Goes Down." I liked the whole movie, actually.
Posted by Wiggumx
at January 17, 2009 1:47 AM
comment #12
MilkMan
says ...
If I start reading a book I don't like, I stop reading it. If I buy a new CD and I don't like it, I don't listen to it. If I'm eating something and it tastes bad, I stop eating it.
Why should movies be exempt from this? Because they cost a lot of movie and a lot of nice, talented people worked on it? Please. Grow up.
Posted by MilkMan
at January 17, 2009 2:23 AM
comment #13
MilkMan
says ...
Whoops. I confused movie with money. Although, now that I think about it, there's not much difference between the two.
Posted by MilkMan
at January 17, 2009 2:24 AM
comment #14
LYT
says ...
Jeff's been a booster of Let the Right One In, as far as I recall. Even gave me credit for backing it first.
Posted by LYT
at January 17, 2009 3:26 AM
comment #15
MartinBlank
says ...
Yeah, Jeff saw (in its entirety) and raved about LTROI.
Posted by MartinBlank
at January 17, 2009 5:58 AM
comment #16
Ray
says ...
@ MilkMan - I understand your point, but my point wasn't that he walked out of a movie ... it's because he walked out of a movie because of the dress of the lead character.
That's just weird.
But now that you made those comparisons, let me ask you this: Are you a reviewer of CD's or books? Are you paid to do that for employment? You see, Jeff makes a living reviewing movies and reporting on the industry. Therefore, he is somewhat obligated to sit through a two hour movie... no matter what the leading man is wearing.
Posted by Ray
at January 17, 2009 6:45 AM
comment #17
York "Budd" Durden
says ...
"Obligated?" By whom? Jeff makes a living blogging about the industry, not reviewing movies (though the two are obviously intertwined). Doesn't require being doctrinaire about sitting through films from first frame to last that he isn't enjoying, as a paid film critic would be.
Posted by York "Budd" Durden
at January 17, 2009 7:28 AM
comment #18
buckzollo
says ...
The movie played Toronto and has not been picked up. Now, it is playing Sundance (and Wells is walking out.) If Scorsese had not Exec Produced, I doubt it would have been anywhere.
Posted by buckzollo
at January 17, 2009 8:43 AM
comment #19
Gordie Lachance
says ...
Sorry, I'm not buying this 'life is too short" crap.
Jeff gets paid to sit through bad movies. And if it's that godawful that you just have to get up and leave, then just keep your mouth shut about it. The only sensible answer for Jeff to give regarding his opinion on Lymelife is "I didn't see it."
Posted by Gordie Lachance
at January 17, 2009 9:10 AM
comment #20
Gordie Lachance
says ...
Oh, and by the way, the Culkins are uniformly great in just about everything.
You Can Count On Me is still the only decent domestic drama produced in this country in the last 20 years.
Posted by Gordie Lachance
at January 17, 2009 9:11 AM
comment #21
Noiresque
says ...
That's right, Jeff doesn't like Timothy Hutton. He ragged on him for being pink and alco-looking and a hound in real life in Stephanie Daley, which was a good movie, BTW.
Posted by Noiresque
at January 17, 2009 10:42 AM
comment #22
bmcintire
says ...
http://cache.gawker.com/assets/video/stills/s/stvbill_def.flv.jpg
vs.
http://www.imdb.com/media/rm467309824/nm0000459
Hmm. Decades of ________.
Posted by bmcintire
at January 17, 2009 12:38 PM
comment #23
hiviper
says ...
Burma and martin:
yes, he gave it a backhandedly good review at first and then proceeeded to shrug it off with reasons that didn't make sense (the depressing iron curtain architecture was a bummer to him, when it was an integral part of the story, and he couldn't fathom how a kid could get bullied even though that kind of shit goes has on for generations).
Not a good review of what I consider a masterpiece. Too bad it will be ruined by a remake :)
Posted by hiviper
at January 17, 2009 10:41 PM
comment #24
hiviper
says ...
Oh, and Milkman - you're kind of full 'o shite on this one. How many CD's have you listened to and not liked at first, and then warmed up to on the 4th or 5th listen and then love every track. I can name quite a few myself. Art ain't a glass of spoiled milk.
Now, how many films have you warmed up to and then loved after 30 minutes? I think it's happened to me a few times. Would I walk out of a flick after 10 minutes because a Culkin is in it and it "seems" a downer? Probably not..but like I said, that's Jeff. It's his game and we're here reading it..
Posted by hiviper
at January 17, 2009 11:06 PM
comment #25
MilkMan
says ...
There are plenty of CD's that I haven't liked at first listen. There are also plenty that I haven't liked at first listen because they suck, and they always suck, and they will always suck. Someone told me to buy that fucking Killers Cd when it came out a few years ago and I listened to the first four songs and they all sucked and I didn't listen to it again for a couple of years and then I listened to it again a few months ago, and it was just as horrible. Shit is shit, hiviper, but there is plenty of great stuff out there, which is why I say life is too short. It's just music and books and movies. It's not that big of a deal. Not everything is art. There are people at work who I have talked to maybe one or two times in the last year because I tried talking to them and I thought they were boring or they thought I was boring and I decided right then and there that didn't have much use for them and that was that. Maybe they are very interesting people; maybe I could learn a lot from them. Or, maybe, who cares.
And I'm not kind of full of shit. I am full of shit.
Posted by MilkMan
at January 17, 2009 11:30 PM
comment #26
hiviper
says ...
Milkman; And I'm not kind of full of shit. I am full of shit.
No you're not, you're just playing one on HE!
Posted by hiviper
at January 17, 2009 11:51 PM
comment #27
Jefferson
says ...
Walking out early on this one was a bad move. You've cheated yourself and any readers who may not view this film because they respect your opinion. You obviously did not give this movie even 5 minutes and your facts are incorrect. If anyone has seen Tim Hutton lately you will understand that he is not an emaciated man. He lost the weight and developed that look of "decades of partying" for his role as "Charlie" which is testament to his incredible performance and his devotion to his craft. Also, It was a movie starring Rory Culkin "wearing a truly dorky looking light-blue mixed with dark-blue winter jacket",which by the way accented the period very well.
You may have sat in the theater for 5 minutes, but you obviously did not pay attention. Do yourself a favor, go watch it.
Posted by Jefferson
at January 20, 2009 10:31 AM
comment #28
The Director
says ...
Ah, the infamous Jeff Wells sat through 5 minutes of my film and walked out because of "Kieran's" blue jacket. I was told by several respected filmmakers and execs not to respond to you because you are not taken seriously. In your defense I found the whole half-assed review hysterical. Just a note, as your eyes must be going -- it was RORY Culkin wearing the blue jacket. Not Kieran. And it's a shame you didn't stay as I'm sure you would've found many other wardrobe choices to mock. In all honesty I've read it twice and laughed out loud both times. Are you actually a critic? Does someone pay you for this? Or are you just a barnacle on the side of film festival's boats? In any case, you are a funny barnacle. Keep up the good work.
DM -- writer/director of LYMELIFE
Posted by The Director
at January 20, 2009 3:56 PM
comment #29
MilkMan
says ...
Hey, DM, grow a thicker skin. You're going to need it.
Posted by MilkMan
at January 20, 2009 4:19 PM
comment #30
Jefferson
says ...
Hey Milkman, Get a life... you're far to concerned about this bullshit website.... dumbass...
Posted by Jefferson
at January 20, 2009 6:34 PM
comment #31
Jefferson
says ...
buckzollo is misinformed as well.... Lymelife was picked up for domestic distro months ago.... if you're going to comment it helps if you know what you are talking about... otherwise you just look ignorant.
Posted by Jefferson
at January 20, 2009 7:49 PM
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