Worst Fold-Out Bed
Of all time. Or at least in my experience on this planet. It's amazing to me that there are people in third-world countries who are actually paid money to design and manufacture these back-breaking coil-spring mattresses. They must know, surely, that the possibility of people feeling comfortable enough to actually fall asleep on them is very slight. I've slept better on hard-metal cots in city jails.
You have to be a sadist to make one of these things; you certainly have to be a masochist to willingly sleep on one. I gave up after four, four and a half hours. Awful.
I'm in a new place on Friday so it's nothing to obsess about. But the combination of sitting through tonight's opening film, the claymation Mary and Max (which is partly about a 44 year-old morbidly obese guy, voiced by Phillip Seymour Hoffman) on top of another night trying to sleep on this torture mattress from Jakarta...I don't know. Feels like a tough combo.
The insulation in this cardboard milquetoast condo, located on Park City's Windrift Lane (a little bit of a hump north from Kearns Blvd.), is on the shitty side also. I can feel the frigid early morning air seeping through the window behind me. The cheapest home-building materials known to modern man have gone into the construction of thousands of Park City condos. I know, having stayed in quite a few since the early '90s.
This is a fairly typical example of middle-American architecture and home construction when penny-pinching figures in. Icy air leaking into the living room and yet the guy who designed this one went in for a little counter-flourish by installing a tiny jacuzzi tub -- a poor man's jacuzzi -- in the bathroom. Hey, I'm Tommy Tune! A home, in other words, that's a little more about show than substance.
Posted by Jeffrey Wells on January 15, 2009 at 5:23 AM
comment #1
thevisceral
says ...
The hardships you endure...all so people can call you bad names in the comments...
Posted by thevisceral
at January 15, 2009 6:09 AM
comment #2
byanyother
says ...
Oh, the poor bastard who rented you the place.
Posted by byanyother
at January 15, 2009 6:39 AM
comment #3
Rich S.
says ...
The easiest solution is to pull the mattress off the frame, fold the frame back into the couch, and sleep on the mattress on the floor. It's the frame that's causing the problems.
Posted by Rich S.
at January 15, 2009 6:52 AM
comment #4
Midwest Doug
says ...
C'mon, Jeff. You have a top-of-the-line Sauder entertainment center, a 32" Sanyo TV, and a throw blanket. What more could you want?
Posted by Midwest Doug
at January 15, 2009 7:14 AM
comment #5
Jeffrey Wells
says ...
Wells to Rich S.: That was the first thing I did. It didn't matter. The mattress is full of bony springs.
Posted by Jeffrey Wells
at January 15, 2009 7:19 AM
comment #6
MindlessObamaton
says ...
what Rich S. said. The only thing worse than sleeping on one of these things is trying to get your f--k on on one of them. My first college gf had one of these in her small place and after the second night, we had to move it to the floor.
byanyother: LOL, yeah. Surely that guy typed Wells name into Google or something.
Wasn't Wells asking for a person to help him with the rent, so he's paying like %250 a night for this dump? Pretty sweet.
Posted by MindlessObamaton
at January 15, 2009 7:20 AM
comment #7
erniesouchak
says ...
Sounds like a typical rental in a resort town that takes its visitors for granted.
Posted by erniesouchak
at January 15, 2009 7:35 AM
comment #8
Rich S.
says ...
Wow, that is a nasty mattress, then. Usually it's that bar in the middle of the frame that goes right into your back that's the issue.
Posted by Rich S.
at January 15, 2009 7:54 AM
comment #9
Rich S.
says ...
You can always take the cushions off the couch and use them for a mattress on the floor. That sometimes works, too.
Posted by Rich S.
at January 15, 2009 7:55 AM
comment #10
Mr. Muckle
says ...
Compared to the discomfort you're willingly inflicting on yourself by going to movies from dark to dark, what's the big deal? Why should your sleeptime be more pleasant than that?
Posted by Mr. Muckle
at January 15, 2009 8:39 AM
comment #11
Chase Kahn
says ...
What's with the complaining? Look at that TV! -- did you hook up the PS3 yet?
Posted by Chase Kahn
at January 15, 2009 8:50 AM
comment #12
Breedlove
says ...
I'd recommend folding the whole shebang up and just sleeping on the couch. I've always found sleeping on couches pretty comfortable. I sleep on my side anyway. I slept on my couch for an entire year of college because i was too lazy to climb up into the loft bed I had, so I've never minded it.
Posted by Breedlove
at January 15, 2009 9:01 AM
comment #13
Sabina E
says ...
Breedlove, I also prefer sleeping on my side, and I find couches quite comfortable as well.
Posted by Sabina E
at January 15, 2009 9:06 AM
comment #14
Breedlove
says ...
Maybe we could spoon sometime ; )
Posted by Breedlove
at January 15, 2009 9:25 AM
comment #15
atticusrex
says ...
I am only commenting as a public service... If anyone reading this is in the market for a sofa bed for any reason... trust me the best one is made by Laz-e-Boy. We have one in our library which then allows us to have a guest room without being an actual guest room. The bed opens up like the one above but with two stellar differences... one: gone is the awful support system in it's place is a trampoline kind of system so no bars! Two: The mattress is actually a 6 inch air mattress covered in a thick mattress covering fabric. You just plug in the blower and whoosh you have a fantastic bed in 2 minutes!
Believe me this is great. I am surprised other sofa makers haven't gone to this.
Otherwise I agree with one of the posters above... just sleep on the actual sofa.
Posted by atticusrex
at January 15, 2009 9:28 AM
comment #16
Edward Havens
says ...
Wells needs an passionately brilliant mattress to sleep on, and this one just doesn't cut it.
Posted by Edward Havens
at January 15, 2009 10:07 AM
comment #17
rr3333
says ...
get one of those blowup beds from amazon for $40.00. works like a charm.
OR ... I also second the person who said : sleep on the couch itself. makes the most sense.
Posted by rr3333
at January 15, 2009 10:21 AM
comment #18
dangovich
says ...
It would have been awesome if you had placed a cowboy hat on the nightstand.
Posted by dangovich
at January 15, 2009 10:41 AM
comment #19
George Prager
says ...
Looks like you also have the worst carpet, worst plant, worst entertainment center, worst mirror and worst lamp.
I agree with whoever said that you should scrap the bed and get one of those self-inflating sleeping bag pads that cost about 40 bucks. More comfortable than most beds.
Posted by George Prager
at January 15, 2009 11:20 AM
comment #20
nemo
says ...
That bed sags so badly it looks like a horse sleeps on it when you're not there.
That tiny jacuzzi -- you're sure it's not a bidet?
Posted by nemo
at January 15, 2009 11:30 AM
comment #21
rr3333
says ...
That picture is a clear reminder to all of us that 'There's no place like home, there's no place like home, there's no place like home'.
Posted by rr3333
at January 15, 2009 12:27 PM
comment #22
thatmovieguy
says ...
Buy a foam mattress pad -- I got one for $25 and it was worth every penny. It protects you from the spiky mattress and smoothes out the lumps. They are easy to find and your back will thank you.
Posted by thatmovieguy
at January 15, 2009 2:55 PM
comment #23
Tiny Tim
says ...
Say what you will about that fold-out bed,
but you can't deny that it's emotionally vivid.
Posted by Tiny Tim
at January 16, 2009 9:37 AM
comment #24
MTS Converter
says ...
Thank you for submitting this cool story - Trackback from Dotbot.
Posted by MTS Converter
at December 13, 2009 5:10 AM
comment #25
shaomiaoshelley
says ...
MTS Converter is an excellent mts conversion software that can convert mts files to other video and audio formats. In addition, The MTS Converter can convert mts, ts, trp hd video files perfectly and quickly.
Posted by shaomiaoshelley
at January 7, 2010 11:21 PM
comment #26
johnismile
says ...
M2TS Converter will be your best assistant in the conversion work from M2TS to other popular video and audio formats. This M2TS Converter will give you the fastest conversion speed and highest conversion quality.
M2TS to MP4|| M2TS to MKV
Posted by johnismile
at February 2, 2010 11:42 PM
comment #27
weid502
says ...
After a long time of searching on various of websites on this winter vacation, at last I find this delicate Mac DVD Copy with easy outlooking but powerful functions. I am a fan of dvd software and interested in studying neo-developed ones. Fortunately, the operating system of my PC is mac and this portable device runs well on it.
I would like to tell you how to use it with very simple words.After installing it, you click the Full Mode button or Main Movie button to select the copy mode that your need, and then elect the copy source from the pull-down menu of source. Finally click button to start the copy.
It is very easy to operate it and what you need is just a few clicks.
Copy DVD on Mac
Mac DVD Cloner
Posted by weid502
at March 10, 2010 5:36 PM
comment #28
dd
says ...
byanyother: LOL, yeah. Surely that guy typed Wells name into Google or something.
Designer Handbags
Posted by dd
at May 11, 2010 2:13 AM
comment #29
Gucci Outlet o
says ...
Very happy to share this website, which product genuine goods at reasonable prices, the style be also the most popular this year
Posted by Gucci Outlet o
at April 18, 2011 6:24 PM
comment #30
gucci outlet locations
says ...
You write very detailed,Just saying thanks will not just be sufficient, for the wonderful clarity in your writing. for the efforts you have made in writing this article，Continue to work hard I will support you
Posted by gucci outlet locations
at February 11, 2012 3:18 AM
comment #31
gucci outlet locations
says ...
good
Posted by gucci outlet locations
at February 11, 2012 3:19 AM